The Surviving Siblings®

Maya Roffler
  • 4.9 (56)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • WEEKLY SERIES

Maya Roffler created The Surviving Siblings® after losing her brother Andreas to homicide in 2016 — a loss that changed her life forever. In the painful years that followed, she discovered what so many grieving siblings silently endure: while there are resources for parents who lose a child, support for surviving siblings is almost nonexistent. The grief of losing a brother or sister is profound, yet often invisible. This podcast was created to change that. Through honest storytelling, Maya shares her journey through sibling loss and invites other surviving siblings to share theirs. Together, they open up conversations about grief, love, healing, and hope — offering comfort to those navigating life after this unimaginable loss. Whether someone has lost a sibling or wants to support someone who has, The Surviving Siblings® is a safe space where grief is honored, love is remembered, and no one has to feel alone.

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  1. EPISODE 1

    Stephen Loses Stacy To A Car Accident

    On episode 1 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast® host, Maya Roffler is joined by Stephen Stott who opens up about the tragic loss of his sister, Stacy, to a car accident 24 years ago. Stephen was just 16 when his life changed forever. After being "voluntold" to accompany his sister to a cheerleading camp six hours away, he shared a moment of deep personal truth with her the first person he ever came out to as queer. Just days later, on the drive home, they both fell asleep behind the wheel. Stacy didn't survive. Stephen did. What follows is a deeply moving story of grief, identity, movement, and healing. Stephen shares how he turned toward dance, breathwork, and somatic healing not only to honor Stacy's memory but to help others process grief in their own bodies. He also reflects on his decision to found Embrace the Darkness, a platform and resource space that embraces the hard and sacred work of grief, especially for queer siblings and those needing support outside of traditional therapy. This episode is about so much more than loss. It's about grief in the body, safe spaces for queer siblings, and what it means to move with your grief instead of away from it.   In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Stephen and Remembering Stacy Stephen shares who Stacy was, their sibling bond through movement, and the moment that changed everything. (0:04:00) – Movement as Medicine: Honoring Stacy Through Dance Stephen describes how continuing cheer, gymnastics, and dance helped him stay close to his sister and move through grief. (0:05:00) – Coming Out and Catastrophe: The Last Conversation Stephen tells the powerful story of coming out to his sister just days before the fatal car accident. It was the first time he told anyone he liked boys. (0:06:30) – The Car Accident and Immediate Aftermath He recalls the surreal moment of waking up in the hospital, already knowing deep in his bones that Stacy was gone. (0:08:00) – Back to School, No Time to Grieve Just a week after the accident, Stephen was thrown back into high school, sports, and work using distraction to survive. (0:11:00) – Survivor Guilt, Queer Identity, and Grieving Alone Stephen reflects on how his queer identity shaped his grief and how he struggled to find representation and resources. (0:14:00) – Why Queer Grief Spaces Are Essential Maya and Stephen dive into why queer-specific grief groups matter, and how judgment—even within sibling spaces can create harm. (0:21:00) – The Turning Point at 21: A Grief Conference Shifts Everything Stephen's mother encouraged him to attend a grief conference, where a simple dance skit helped him feel seen and opened a path toward healing. (0:25:00) – Becoming a Social Worker and Healing Through Service Stephen shares how his desire to help others evolved into a career in social work and ultimately into his grief-centered platform. (0:27:00) – Founding Embrace the Darkness He explains why toxic positivity doesn't work, and how this powerful name emerged from his belief that we must sit with the dark to truly heal. (0:43:00) – Parasympathetic Nervous System & Breathwork as Reset Maya and Stephen discuss how breathwork activates the vagus nerve and helps shift the body from chaos to calm. (0:47:00) – The Mission Moving Forward Stephen talks about his workshops, his work with siblings globally, and his dream to bring more somatic healing into the grief world. About Embrace the Darkness Stephen is the founder of Embrace The Darkness, a platform that provides breathwork, sibling grief support, and LGBTQ+-affirming spaces for healing. Stephen is starting a 6-month program and is offering $1,000 off for any surviving sibling.   The unspoken path community discount: https://embracethedarkness.org/surviving-siblings-podcast-special This episode is sponsored by Embrace The Darkness Connect with Stephen:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BreathingIntoGrief Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breathingintogrief/ Email: Stephen@EmbraceTheDarkness.org Website: https://embracethedarkness.org/   Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

    50 min

  2. EPISODE 2

    Earla Loses Leigh-Ann To Pancreatic Cancer

    On Season 9, Episode 2 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Earla Dawn, who shares the story of losing her sister, Leigh-Ann, to pancreatic cancer. Earla takes us back to their childhood on the prairies, four siblings, endless fun, and the kind of relationship that started with "fighting like cats and dogs"… and grew into a deep, lifelong bond. Leigh-Ann was the polished one, the "always put together" sister, a devoted mom, a dog lover, and a woman who reinvented her life, starting over after divorce, and eventually moving across the world to Spain in 2006. Even with an ocean between them, their connection never faded. They learned Skype, relied on phone calls and letters, and stayed emotionally close until a fall visit home revealed something no one was prepared for: a growth on Leigh-Ann's pancreas. What followed was a short, devastating season filled with advocacy, tenderness, quiet courage, and moments of unexpected beauty. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief isn't just about the diagnosis or the timeline it's about the small moments you carry forever: the way you follow your sibling's lead, the calm you create for them, the love in the room, and the way connection can exist even without words. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Earla and Remembering Leigh-Ann Earla shares their family dynamic, childhood memories, and how their relationship evolved over time. (0:01:30) – From the Prairies to Spain: A Sisterhood That Stayed Close Leigh-Ann's big life moves, her reinvention, and how distance didn't break their bond. (0:04:00) – Subtle Symptoms and the Turning Point Leigh-Ann's ongoing stomach issues, declining stamina, and the moment she learned about the pancreatic growth. (0:06:30) – "I Looked It Up Once… and Never Again" Earla reflects on the shock of Dr. Google, the fear that followed, and what she learned about living day-by-day. (0:08:00) – The Worst Day: "It's All Over" An oncologist appointment confirms the terminal diagnosis and Earla shares why not having an exact end date changed everything. (0:09:30) – Following Leigh-Ann's Lead Earla explains how she honored Leigh-Ann's choices, advocated for information, and created a calm, sacred space at home. (0:11:30) – Palliative Support and the Permission of Time The practical support that helped their family breathe and why planning ahead reduced panic later. (0:14:00) – The List for Life (Not a Bucket List) Leigh-Ann's wishes: connection, warmth, marriage, travel and the decision to take a "honeymoon" to Hawaii. (0:17:30) – Love, Humor, and the Moments That Stay Earla shares an unforgettable experience of wordless connection laughing together in the quiet. (0:20:00) – Her Final Days and a Peaceful Death What it looked like, what helped, and why Earla believes we need to talk more honestly about end-of-life moments. (0:22:30) – A Room Full of Love: Ritual, Meditation, and Goodbye Earla guides a meditation after Leigh-Ann's passing and describes the gentle, meaningful way they honored her. (0:26:00) – Grace in Grief: Caring for Yourself While Losing Your Person Earla shares what "giving yourself grace" looked like in real life including rest, boundaries, and self-trust. (0:31:00) – Zines, Creativity, and Finding a Way Forward How small, simple storytelling (zines) became an accessible form of grief processing and a bridge back to hope.   This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Earla:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sibling.grief.buds/ Earla's Book: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0973216239?ref_=pe_93986420_774957520   Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

    51 min

  3. EPISODE 3

    Gyani Loses Pete To Cancer

    On Episode 3 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Gyani, a surviving sibling and grief professional, who shares the story of losing his brother, Pete, to cancer, and how earlier loss in his life shaped the path he walks today. Gyani takes us back to his first encounter with grief at 13, when his father died of cancer. Raised in what he describes as a "Leave It to Beaver" style family. Mom, dad, and five boys—he reflects on how grief rippled through their family system like a bomb, in a time when there were few tools or conversations available to help a young boy process loss. A few years later, Gyani found his way into meditation, yoga, and wisdom traditions, an unexpected but life-changing shift that became a foundation for everything that followed. Decades later, after building a career in counseling and the corporate world, Gyani felt an internal nudge that it was time for a new chapter. Then came a loss that re-opened the "great beast of grief" in a fresh way: the death of his baby brother, Pete. Gyani shares how Pete's cancer moved fast—from a melanoma diagnosis to death within roughly a year—and how helplessness, family dynamics, and the inability to "make people come to the grief table" became part of his grieving process. This conversation is a powerful reminder that grief is not a problem to solve, but an experience that asks to be witnessed—by others, and by ourselves—with compassion, patience, and attention. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Gyani + The Loss That Started It All Gyani introduces himself, shares that he works in the grief space, and reflects on losing his father to cancer at age 13. (0:01:30) – Growing Up in a Family of Five Boys Gyani describes his family system, his place as the fourth of five brothers, and how grief impacted their "sports team" dynamic. (0:03:30) – A Teenager Finds Meditation + Meaning Gyani shares how he found meditation, yoga, and wisdom traditions in high school—seeking something "deathless" after losing his dad. (0:06:00) – Grief Doesn't Come With a Manual Maya and Gyani discuss how grief shapes you early, how people cope differently, and why many families lack the tools to process loss. (0:10:00) – How Gyani Entered the Grief Space Professionally Gyani explains how his meditation practice and counseling training eventually converged—after years in the corporate world—into grief-focused work. (0:12:30) – Asking "What's Next?" + Listening for the Answer Gyani shares his transition season, spending time in nature and intentionally seeking clarity for his next chapter. (0:24:30) – Pete: "It's Powerful to Say His Name" Gyani introduces his brother Pete, their bond, growing up together, and why Pete was his "rock." (0:26:00) – From Melanoma to Loss: A Fast Cancer Journey Gyani walks through Pete's diagnosis, how quickly it spread, and the shock of losing a healthy, vibrant brother. (0:28:30) – Helplessness, Anger, and the Storm of Grief Gyani reflects on the layers of grief—including the raw helplessness that remains when you realize you can't change the outcome. (0:30:00) – Family Dynamics: You Can't Drag People to the Grief Table Gyani and Maya discuss how differently siblings and families grieve—and the pain of wanting connection when others shut down. (0:35:30) – Community as Medicine: Why Grief Must Be Witnessed Gyani shares why grief + isolation is a "double whammy," and how community helps thaw shame and soften the nervous system. (0:43:30) – What Gyani's Grief Work Looks Like Today He shares how mindfulness-informed grief counseling helps people gently lean into grief, including working with the body ("issues are in the tissues"). (0:47:30) – A Closing Reminder: Grief Isn't a Problem to Solve Gyani offers a powerful reframe: grief is a sacred opportunity to be embraced—and it changes you into new versions of yourself. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Gyani:  Website: https://ourgriefpath.com/   Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

    51 min

  4. EPISODE 4

    Erica Loses TJ To A Car Accident

    On Episode 4 of Season 9 of The Surviving Siblings Podcast®, host Maya Roffler is joined by Erica Bohn, a surviving sibling who shares the story of losing her brother, TJ, in a car accident over 30 years ago, and how that loss shaped her life, her healing, and ultimately her path into helping others. Erica takes us back to her childhood growing up in a close-knit Midwestern family. Both she and her brother TJ were adopted as babies, raised in what she describes as a loving, "perfect" family, until one summer night in 1995 changed everything. TJ, just weeks away from starting his senior year of high school, left for a party and never came home. In a heartbreaking twist, Erica's father—who never missed work—left early that night with a bad feeling, took a different route home, and was the one who found TJ after the accident. What followed for Erica at just 14 years old was shock, trauma, and a blur of grief, surrounded by a community that showed up in full force, but without the tools to help her process what had happened. Erica shares how her grief went largely unprocessed for years, leading to difficult choices in her teens and twenties, and how it wasn't until later in life, after becoming a mother that she sought therapy and began to truly heal. Today, as a social worker, Erica channels her experience into supporting others, carrying her brother's legacy forward through compassion and connection. This episode is a powerful reminder that grief doesn't have a timeline, healing isn't linear, and the people who simply sit with us in our darkest moments can change everything. In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Erica + Remembering TJ Erica introduces her story, her bond with TJ, and their unique family dynamic as adopted siblings. (0:02:00) – A Big Brother, A Big Personality Erica shares what TJ was like growing up—funny, outgoing, athletic, and loved by everyone. (0:04:00) – The Night Everything Changed A summer day with family turns into tragedy after TJ leaves for a party and never returns. (0:05:30) – A Father's Instinct Erica recounts how her dad left work early with a bad feeling and found TJ at the accident scene. (0:10:00) – Finding Out: "He's Dead" Erica describes waking up to her mother's screams and the traumatic moment she learned her brother was gone. (0:11:30) – A High School Funeral + Community Support The overwhelming turnout at TJ's funeral and the role her friends played in simply sitting with her through the pain. (0:15:00) – Understanding the Accident What Erica later learned about the crash, and the unanswered questions that remained. (0:19:00) – Life After Loss at 14 How grief showed up in Erica's teenage years—through risk-taking, avoidance, and unprocessed trauma. (0:22:00) – Healing Later in Life Erica shares how becoming a mother led her to therapy and a deeper commitment to healing. (0:24:00) – Finding the Right Therapist Why connection matters in therapy—and how to know when you've found the right fit. (0:27:00) – A Career Rooted in Compassion How Erica's life experiences led her into social work and supporting others through difficult circumstances. (0:33:00) – Family Bonds After Loss How grief brought Erica and her parents closer—and what it looked like to grow together instead of apart. (0:38:00) – Parenting After Loss Erica shares the fears and realities of raising teenage drivers after losing her brother in a car accident. (0:41:00) – Advice for the Newly Bereaved Why there's no "right" way to grieve—and the importance of support, presence, and compassion. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings® Connect with Erica:  Website: https://www.mykeeper.com/TrevisTJHeiman TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@imjustericadawn?_r=1&_t=ZT-93IVy2FLBoz   Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast

    47 min
See All Season 9 (4)

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4.9
out of 5
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About

Maya Roffler created The Surviving Siblings® after losing her brother Andreas to homicide in 2016 — a loss that changed her life forever. In the painful years that followed, she discovered what so many grieving siblings silently endure: while there are resources for parents who lose a child, support for surviving siblings is almost nonexistent. The grief of losing a brother or sister is profound, yet often invisible. This podcast was created to change that. Through honest storytelling, Maya shares her journey through sibling loss and invites other surviving siblings to share theirs. Together, they open up conversations about grief, love, healing, and hope — offering comfort to those navigating life after this unimaginable loss. Whether someone has lost a sibling or wants to support someone who has, The Surviving Siblings® is a safe space where grief is honored, love is remembered, and no one has to feel alone.

Information

  • Creator
    Maya Roffler
  • Episodes
    90
  • Seasons
    9
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © The Surviving Siblings®
  • Show Website
    The Surviving Siblings®

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