Create Your Happy: Conscious Relationships with Others and Yourself

Christy Holt - The Happiness Hussy
  • 5.0 (14)
  • Relationships
  • Weekly

Welcome to the Create Your Happy podcast with your host, Christy Holt, AKA The Happiness Hussy! My mission is to inspire and empower women to embrace their humanness, find their unique voice, and create a world of joy and authenticity. Join us for your weekly dose of real, unfiltered conversations about life and love. We explore a wide range of topics related to creating conscious, healthy and loving relationships, both with others, and — even more importantly — with ourself. Alright, gorgeous — let’s get curious, become inspired, and Create Your Happy!

  1. 20h ago

    I Thought I’d Found My Purpose. I Was Wrong.

    What happens when the thing you thought you were meant to do turns out to be only part of your story? And how do you recognize when life is taking you somewhere you never expected? In this episode of Create Your Happy, I chat with Brad about his journey from photography and corporate work to discovering a deeper sense of purpose through amplifying the voices of women. Brad shares how something he never saw coming changed his life, his work, and his understanding of what makes him feel truly alive. We talk about purpose and happiness, the importance of human connection, learning to put yourself first without losing sight of the people you love, and why so many women end up putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. This is a conversation about purpose, authenticity, relationships, self trust, and staying open to the possibility that a meaningful life might look nothing like you originally imagined. In this episode, we explore: 00:00 — A Different Kind of Conversation About Happiness 01:09 — Getting to Know Brad and What Matters to Him 02:00 — Is Happiness About Finding Your Purpose? 03:42 — When the Path You Thought Was Yours Changes 06:32 — What It Feels Like to Be Truly Alive 09:48 — When Feeling Aligned Changes Everything 11:52 — Human Connection and Our Relationship With Ourselves 14:06 — The Crumbs Theory: Why We Put Ourselves Last 17:24 — Making Room for Your Own Happiness 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO Want more? Find more episodes of Create Your Happy, along with my books, courses and other offerings, at coachchristyholt.com 🩷

  2. 2d ago

    Happiness Was Never Where I Thought It Was

    What does happiness actually feel like? Is it excitement, a life full of amazing experiences, or something quieter, like peace? In this episode of Create Your Happy, I chat with Corina about how her understanding of happiness has changed over time. From being a teenager who couldn’t understand why she didn’t feel happy like everyone around her, to discovering a deeper sense of peace, Corina shares her personal experience of finding happiness in a place she hadn’t expected. We talk about feeling truly alive, being present for the experiences we’re having, the difference between chasing happiness and experiencing it, and what it means to choose our own direction instead of living by other people’s expectations. This is a conversation about happiness, inner peace, self trust, and the sometimes surprising ways our understanding of a happy life can change. In this episode, we explore: 00:00 — A different kind of conversation about happiness 01:40 — What does happiness actually feel like? 04:20 — Can you be unhappy and happy at the same time? 05:35 — The moments that make us feel truly alive 08:25 — Being present instead of collecting experiences 10:05 — Looking outside ourselves for happiness 12:15 — Heartbreak, travel, and the experience of being present 14:05 — People pleasing, expectations, and choosing what feels right 16:45 — The personal experiences that shape our understanding of happiness 17:30 — Depression, anxiety, and Corina’s journey toward inner peace 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO Want more? Find more episodes of Create Your Happy, along with my books, courses and other offerings, at coachchristyholt.com⁠. 🩷

  3. Season 6 Trailer

    Less Expert, More Human | A New Season of Real Conversations About Happiness

    It’s been a hot minute! And I’ve been thinking about where I want to take Create Your Happy next. This season, it’s less expert, more human. I’m tired of the five easy steps to happiness, the next guru, and the idea that we need someone else to tell us how to live our lives. I call BS. I’m having real conversations with humans, not experts who have everything all figured out. We’re talking about happiness, what makes us feel truly alive, what we’ve learned about ourselves, and what it means to create a life that actually feels like our own. No perfectly packaged answers. No sneaky pitches. Just honest conversations about the messy, beautiful experience of being human. I’ll also be exploring what happiness means to me, who I am beyond my roles and labels, and why I believe our relationships with ourselves, others, and life shape how we experience just about everything. Welcome to Season 6 of Create Your Happy. I cannot wait for these conversations. 🩷 Want more? Find more episodes of Create Your Happy, along with my books, courses and other offerings, at coachchristyholt.com⁠. In this episode, we explore: 00:00 — Why I’m Changing the Create Your Happy Podcast 00:20 — Calling Out the Happiness Hype 01:17 — Why You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself to Be Happy 02:37 — Finding Happiness From Within 03:09 — Real Humans, Not Happiness Gurus 04:25 — Why This Season’s Conversations Are Unscripted 05:26 — Exploring What Happiness Really Means 06:10 — Who Am I Beyond My Roles and Labels? 07:46 — What Happiness Means to Me 09:27 — How Our Relationships Shape Our Experience of Life 09:59 — Welcome to Season 6 of Create Your Happy 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

  4. Feb 6

    When Dysfunction Feels Normal (and You Think It’s Just You)

    If dysfunction feels familiar, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you learned how to adapt. This episode is a little different from the usual Relationship Rants. Recorded during a live girls night in, Christy shares a personal story that sits at the heart of so many relationship, work, and life patterns—not because it’s dramatic, but because it’s quietly common. We praise people for being adaptable, flexible, and resilient, without stopping to ask what that adaptability is costing them. Over time, small adjustments become invisible, effort becomes normal, and exhaustion starts to feel like a personality trait. This conversation isn’t about self improvement, personality tests, or fixing yourself. It’s about identity—who we learn to be in order to belong, feel safe, and be accepted, and how that identity can start running our lives without us realizing it. And it’s about the stories we tell that shape our experience. This episode invites a softer kind of awareness. One where misalignment isn’t failure, burnout isn’t who you are, and coming home to yourself doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul—just a pause, a noticing, and a gentle remembering. Contact Christy & Additional Resources: www.coachchristyholt.com Chapters 00:00 — When Dysfunction Feels Familiar Why normal doesn’t always mean healthy. 00:16 — This Episode Is a Little Different A live girls night in story that reveals quiet patterns. 00:37 — Identity Is Learned, Not Inherent How belonging teaches us who to be. 02:34 — How Patterns Become Normal Small adaptations that slowly disappear from view. 03:12 — Who You Learned to Be The roles we take on to fit, stay safe, and be accepted. 05:49 — When Adaptation Becomes Identity How misalignment starts to feel like “this is just who I am.” 06:36 — Burnout, Overwhelm, and Self-Blame When exhaustion gets mistaken for personality. 07:51 — When the Story Takes Over How internal narratives quietly shape our lives. 08:31 — The Stories We Tell Ourselves Why changing the story changes the experience. 10:25 — When Normal Stops Being Neutral The hidden cost of ignoring your nature and rhythms. 12:00 — How This Shows Up in Relationships Belonging over truth, approval over alignment. 12:37 — A Quiet Invitation to Notice Coming home to yourself without pressure or labels. 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

    When Dysfunction Feels Normal (and You Think It’s Just You)

  5. Jan 23

    Narcissism Isn’t What You Think (And Why Labels Keep You Stuck)

    “Narcissist” has become one of the most overused words in modern relationship spaces—and while the label can sometimes bring relief and validation, it can also quietly freeze growth. In this Relationship Rant, Christy slows the conversation way down to explore what narcissism actually is, what it isn’t, and why reducing every painful relationship to a single label often keeps people stuck in the very patterns they’re trying to escape. This episode isn’t about excusing behaviour, denying harm, or blaming anyone. It’s about understanding patterns—because patterns are where real change happens. We explore the difference between narcissistic personality disorder and common narcissistic patterns, why these dynamics don’t exist in isolation, how over-responsibility pairs with control, and why labels can feel clarifying while quietly removing agency. This conversation brings compassion without collapse, responsibility without shame, and a powerful reframe that shifts the focus from diagnosing others to reclaiming choice, self-trust, and balance. Contact Christy & Additional Resources: www.coachchristyholt.com Chapters 00:00 — Why “Narcissist” Has Become the Most Overused Label How one word has come to explain everything—and why that’s a problem. 01:15 — What Narcissism Is (and Isn’t) Distinguishing clinical diagnoses from common relational patterns. 03:04 — Why So Many Women Reach for the Narcissist Label Validation, relief, and the moment a name finally makes sense. 04:42 — Patterns Work in Pairs Why narcissistic dynamics require a matching pattern to stay alive. 06:20 — Covert vs Overt Narcissistic Patterns Dominance, victimhood, and the quieter forms of control. 07:07 — Refusal of Responsibility vs Over-Responsibility Two trauma responses that mirror each other—and keep imbalance in place. 08:08 — The Spectrum of Self From entitlement to people pleasing, and where health actually lives. 09:27 — Generational Trauma and Relational Templates How families teach us who adapts, who holds power, and what love requires. 11:07 — Why Labels Keep You Stuck How certainty can feel safer than complexity—and why it blocks change. 11:39 — How Patterns Actually Begin to Shift Awareness, interruption, and reclaiming choice without shame. 12:25 — Episode Recap Clarity without blame—and why freedom comes from honest self-awareness. 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

    Narcissism Isn’t What You Think (And Why Labels Keep You Stuck)

  6. Jan 14

    Gurus, Gender Wars, and the Huge Relationship Lie We’ve All Been Sold

    What if support doesn’t require hierarchy? In this Relationship Rant, Christy names a quiet but pervasive problem in the modern relationship space—the rise of gurus, gender wars, and advice that sounds confident but lacks embodied truth. This episode explores how much relationship harm doesn’t begin with lies, but with partial truths placed inside hierarchy. When guidance turns into control, when questioning is labeled resistance, and when authority replaces self trust, connection quietly erodes. Let's unpack why so much online relationship advice comes from content creators rather than people living secure, emotionally mature partnerships, how outrage culture profits from division, and why scripts and tactics never create real intimacy—only the illusion of it. This isn’t about rejecting growth, accountability, or support. It’s about reclaiming sovereignty, nuance, and presence in a landscape that rewards extremes over truth. This episode brings grounded clarity, compassion without collapse, accountability without punishment, and an invitation to stop outsourcing your relational power to voices that thrive on fear and control. Contact Christy & Additional Resources: www.coachchristyholt.com Chapters 00:00 — What If Support Doesn’t Require Hierarchy? Why Christy refuses the guru role—and what healthy mentorship actually looks like. 02:21 — Why So Many “Relationship Experts” Get It Wrong How confidence gets mistaken for wisdom in the online relationship space. 03:26 — The Problem With Gurus Who Don’t Live What They Teach Theory, performance, and why embodied wisdom can’t be faked. 04:19 — When Truth Turns Into Hierarchy The moment guidance becomes control—and dissent gets labeled resistance. 06:50 — Red Pill, Man-Hating, and the Outrage Economy How gender war content profits from fear, division, and distrust. 08:31 — When You Learn Scripts Instead of Skills Why memorized lines don’t create intimacy—and never will. 14:03 — Your Algorithm Is Feeding You a Gender War How extreme narratives distort dating before connection even begins. 15:37 — Are Men Really From Mars? (Hint: No.) Why gender differences are mostly conditioning, not destiny. 17:32 — How Gender Roles Distort Modern Connection Stoic providers, emotional managers, and why everyone ends up frustrated. 18:15 — Compassion + Accountability: What Most Gurus Miss Why real growth requires both—without hierarchy. 23:28 — Theory vs Embodied Wisdom Why lived experience matters more than perfect frameworks. 26:24 — Relationship Rant Recap Reclaiming sovereignty, self trust, and presence in love. 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

    Gurus, Gender Wars, and the Huge Relationship Lie We’ve All Been Sold

  7. 12/16/2025

    When Faith Teaches Women to Abandon Themselves

    In this deeply personal Relationship Rant, Christy shares the moment that quietly rewired her understanding of safety, harm, and belonging—not because of what was said, but because of how everyone else responded. What happens when manipulation is spoken out loud and no one intervenes? What happens when harm is disguised as humour, spirituality, or “good intentions”? And what happens inside the body when something isn’t right—but the room treats it like normal? This episode explores how women are conditioned to mistrust themselves, especially within faith-based and marriage-centered environments that prioritize forgiveness, submission, and appearance over emotional safety and accountability. We examine how silence in so-called safe spaces communicates more than words, why staying can make perfect sense within certain belief systems, how freeze responses show up before conscious understanding, and why forgiveness without repair keeps people stuck in harm. This conversation isn’t anti-faith. It isn’t anti-marriage. And it isn’t about blaming individuals. It’s about naming the systems that taught women to swallow truth, override intuition, and call self abandonment love—and what it looks like to finally choose a different kind of safety. Contact Christy & Additional Resources: www.coachchristyholt.com Chapters: 00:00 — Trying to Do Marriage “Right” Belonging, faith, and the pressure to be a good wife—even when it costs you yourself. 02:09 — A Gentle Content Note Before We Go Deeper Relationship harm, religion, and how to care for yourself as you listen. 02:53 — The Comment That Changed Everything When manipulation is spoken out loud and no one intervenes—and why that silence matters. 04:54 — When the Body Knows Before the Mind Freeze responses, intuition, and the moment something inside goes still. 07:12 — Why Staying Made Sense Born sinner conditioning, marriage idolization, and the erosion of self trust. 09:27 — We Share to Test for Safety What silence in “safe spaces” actually communicates about whose comfort matters. 11:35 — Forgiveness Without Repair Bad advice, prayer as deflection, and the harm of spiritual bypassing. 14:52 — Anger, Purity Culture, and the Submissive Wife How women were taught to swallow truth, suppress anger, and call it love. 17:11 — “If You Feel Disconnected, Put Out More” Sexual obligation, consent, and why emotional safety can’t be negotiated. 19:17 — God Is Not an Excuse for Avoiding Accountability Faith versus responsibility in relationships—and why the two are not opposites. 20:59 — A Different Kind of Safety Reclaiming self trust, honouring intuition, and refusing self abandonment. 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

    When Faith Teaches Women to Abandon Themselves

  8. 12/12/2025

    Who Really Makes the Holiday Magic—and Why We’re Not Supposed to Talk About It

    A light, cheeky post about moms, Santa, and Christmas magic unexpectedly struck a nerve—and what followed revealed far more than a disagreement about holiday cheer. In this rant-style episode, Christy unpacks why a tongue-in-cheek observation about invisible labour triggered such strong resistance, why women are often expected to be cheerful about their own exhaustion, and why naming that reality is so uncomfortable in the first place. This isn’t about Santa. It isn’t about ruining Christmas. It’s about what happens when women are seen. We explore how invisible labour becomes expected labour, why emotional and mental load so often goes unnoticed, how cheerfulness becomes the cost of belonging, and why systems continue to run smoothly when women overfunction and undervalue themselves. This episode brings nuance, compassion, clarity, and straight-up truth-telling to a conversation many women feel—but are subtly discouraged from naming out loud. Contact Christy & Additional Resources: www.coachchristyholt.com Chapters 00:00 — Why Did a Santa Joke Make People So Uncomfortable? A lighthearted post sparks outsized resistance—and reveals an unspoken rule about what women are allowed to say. 01:42 — Is This About Santa… or About Invisible Labour? Why planning, anticipating, emotional management, and mental load are work—even when they’re framed as “magic.” 02:54 — Why Are Women Expected to Be Cheerful About Their Own Exhaustion? How gratitude and positivity are often used to silence real human limits. 04:40 — Who Benefits When Women Undervalue Themselves? Zooming out to examine systems that reward overfunctioning and self-sacrifice. 05:50 — Why Does Questioning the Pattern Feel Like Ruining the Magic? Why awareness gets mislabeled as cynicism—and why clarity isn’t the enemy of joy. 06:52 — Why Do Women Police Other Women for Speaking Up? How defending the norm can feel safer than questioning it—and why that pushback isn’t personal. 08:11 — Can We Love the Holidays and Still Question the System? Holding joy and awareness at the same time without burning traditions to the ground. 09:32 — What Would the Magic Look Like If Women Valued Themselves Too? Reimagining holidays that include rest, shared effort, visibility, and self-worth. 🎶 Music Credit: “Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

    Who Really Makes the Holiday Magic—and Why We’re Not Supposed to Talk About It
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About

Welcome to the Create Your Happy podcast with your host, Christy Holt, AKA The Happiness Hussy! My mission is to inspire and empower women to embrace their humanness, find their unique voice, and create a world of joy and authenticity. Join us for your weekly dose of real, unfiltered conversations about life and love. We explore a wide range of topics related to creating conscious, healthy and loving relationships, both with others, and — even more importantly — with ourself. Alright, gorgeous — let’s get curious, become inspired, and Create Your Happy!

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