Conversational Counseling

Known Ministries

Conversational Counseling is where discipleship and counseling meet. Each season we help you apply biblical truths to your everyday life and to the lives of those around you. After decades of having these conversations in the counseling room and side by side over coffee with friends, we really believe that every single thing we’ve learned is useful within family, with your friends, at your work, with your neighbors and at your church. For free visuals and discussion questions for this podcast, sign up at knownministries.org. Known Ministries is Alex Kocher and Brenda Payne.

  1. 5d ago

    S14 Ep. 4 / "Submitting" to Abuse?: What the Church Needs to Hear with Darby Strickland

    ⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! ⁠ Is the Church actually harming instead of helping victims of abuse?  It’s difficult to learn when we’re afraid, and many churches are afraid to navigate complex situations involving abuse. Leaders might fear pushing a couple towards separation or divorce, especially when children are involved. They can feel overwhelmed and unsure how to verify a narrative, so they do nothing.  Our guest Darby Strickland is a faculty member and counselor at CCEF (Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation). She’s seen how the Church can often (and unintentionally) make it easy for abusers to hide. Abusers can manipulate the beautiful parts of Christianity — like grace and forgiveness — to serve themselves.  Darby believes it’s time to have conversations about uncomfortable situations. Jesus came to free the oppressed and vulnerable, and we as His people have the opportunity to surround victims with care and comfort.  She also knows that each situation is different. We need to focus on tending and shepherding one person at a time, rather than worrying about setting a precedent. And she reminds us that even when God’s people are not faithful, He still is. Resources: More from Darby! Darby’s Books + Projects Season 14 of Conversational Counseling on “Key Resources.” To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

    S14 Ep. 4 / "Submitting" to Abuse?: What the Church Needs to Hear with Darby Strickland
  2. Oct 20

    S14 Ep. 3 / Is My Church Actually Safe? with Chris Moles

    ⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! ⁠ In the Church, we may not often recognize physical manifestations of abuse out in the public. But that doesn’t mean abuse isn’t happening among the people of our congregations or even within the four walls of the church building. In this episode, we’re joined by Chris Moles of PeaceWorks, who is a pastor, speaker and biblical counselor. Chris breaks down the root causes of abuse — and why abuse doesn’t always look like physical violence. He explores different expressions of abuse and where previous biblical counseling movements have shifted blame to substance abuse, stress, or even victims. As Christians, Chris reminds us, we shouldn’t rely only on the legal code to guide our definitions of abuse. We should explore how God tells us to treat His image bearers. We also emphasize that men can be safe. Trauma, addiction, neurodiversity and other factors can contribute to abuse, but they don’t cause it. And that should bring hope! Jesus died for the vulnerable and the perpetrators. He died to save everyone from their sinful hearts!  It’s the job of the Church and people of faith to advocate for the weak and vulnerable and not to excuse behaviors that dismiss agency, safety and security. Resources: More from Chris and PeaceWorks! When Home Hurts: A Guide for Responding Wisely to Domestic Abuse in Your Church by Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson God’s Protection of Women: When Abuse is Worse Than Divorce by Herb Vander Lugt Season 14 of Conversational Counseling on “Key Resources.” To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

    S14 Ep. 3 / Is My Church Actually Safe? with Chris Moles
  3. Oct 13

    S14 Ep. 2 / Finding Peace When Your Child Doesn’t Change with Dawn Ward

    ⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! ⁠ What do you do when the people you love most in your life are struggling with addiction? This is the question Dawn Ward navigated every day for two decades as members of her immediate family faced addiction. She’s wondered, “Is there hope for my child?” She’s heard some programs say, “Once an addict, always an addict.” She’s encountered grief upon grief upon grief.  But she’s also encountered God’s provision and wisdom. She shares with Alex and Brenda how she’s learned to ask: “Lord, show me how and when to step back.” Dawn explains what it means to parent from a distance, and she encourages parents to give themselves permission to be human and share the weight with God and others. Throughout this episode, Dawn reminds us that God never gives up on us or the ones we love who are walking in addiction or destructive behavior. In every season, His grace and His faithfulness are there. Resources: More from Dawn!Facebook Group: Christian Moms of Addicted ChildrenFree Lament ClassLetting Go: Rugged Love for Wayward Souls by Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert Season 14 of Conversational Counseling on “Key Resources.” To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

    S14 Ep. 2 / Finding Peace When Your Child Doesn’t Change with Dawn Ward
  4. Oct 6

    S14 Ep. 1 / How to Leave an Abusive Marriage and Stay a Christian with Leslie Vernick

    ⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! ⁠ Is divorce ever an option? What’s the difference between a disappointing marriage and a destructive one? Does the Church ever harm rather than help vulnerable women in marriages? We break down all of these topics with Leslie Vernick in this episode of Conversational Counseling. Leslie has experienced abuse and volatile relationships in her own life. She was taught to forgive, forget, and get along, even if someone was a destructive influence in her life. Now she’s advocating for and equipping women in destructive marriages to create biblical boundaries, pursue safety, and steward their one life well. Leslie has been married for decades, and she makes it clear that she loves and supports marriage. But she also recognizes some faith circles can elevate the institution over the physical, emotional, and spiritual growth and safety of the people in a marriage. She advocates for churches and church leadership to become trauma-informed and to learn how to advocate well for every single image bearer. Resources: More from Leslie What Healthy Relationships are Really Made Of by Leslie Vernick Season 14 of Conversational Counseling on “Key Resources.” To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

    S14 Ep. 1 / How to Leave an Abusive Marriage and Stay a Christian with Leslie Vernick
  5. Aug 4

    S13 Ep. 5 / Living for Heaven when Marriage is Hard

    >> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! ⁠ Every day, we feel the weight of the brokenness in our world. Brokenness that strains our relationships. It can be hard for us to believe the best days are ahead. That one day what’s broken will be made whole — that our broken stories, hearts and relationships will be made whole. The Grand Narrative reminds us that our lives now are a “trailer” for a greater story. It shows us that our marriages are designed to bring us delight and flourishing, to point us to the oneness we will experience with the Lord and the saints in the new heavens and the new earth. The sweetness we experience in this life is only a shadow of the beauty we will one day experience. It’s these pieces of heaven we see, in spite of the brokenness, that help us look forward with hope. Season 13 of Conversational Counseling on “Marriage.” To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

    S13 Ep. 5 / Living for Heaven when Marriage is Hard
  6. Jul 28

    S13 Ep. 4 / The "Secret" for a Lasting Marriage

    ⁠>> Click HERE to get free visuals, handouts and discussion questions for Conversational Counseling sent straight to your email! ⁠ Do you worry that your spouse sees but doesn’t accept you? Do you feel insecure in the relationship?  When sin entered the world through the Fall, God’s good design was distorted. Our sense of agency, purpose, belonging, and rest was distorted, not only in our individual lives but in our marriages. But the Fall wasn’t the end of our story. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice and our redemption, we have hope! Now, Jesus is “untwisting” what the Fall distorted so we can delight in our marriages and flourish in relationship. When we understand He loves us and delights in us, then we can truly delight in and love our spouses. When we’re secure in Him, we can more confidently approach our spouses to share our sin and pain and suffering. This one-flesh relationship of marriage doesn’t happen when we walk down the aisle. It requires the daily work of reorienting ourselves to God’s redemptive story while we walk together moment by moment. Resources: The Gospel of Being Human by Marty Solomon and Reed Dent Season 1 Episode 1: The Lens: Saint, Sufferer, Sinner Season 13 of Conversational Counseling on “Marriage.” To sign up for free visuals and discussion questions for this season, click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Our theme music is by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠As Isaac⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This podcast is made possible by engineer and producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shane Selby⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, executive producer ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Meleah Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠generous donors⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Conversational Counseling⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Kocher⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and Brenda Payne.

    S13 Ep. 4 / The "Secret" for a Lasting Marriage
4.9
out of 5
61 Ratings

About

Conversational Counseling is where discipleship and counseling meet. Each season we help you apply biblical truths to your everyday life and to the lives of those around you. After decades of having these conversations in the counseling room and side by side over coffee with friends, we really believe that every single thing we’ve learned is useful within family, with your friends, at your work, with your neighbors and at your church. For free visuals and discussion questions for this podcast, sign up at knownministries.org. Known Ministries is Alex Kocher and Brenda Payne.

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