Digging Through Dominoes

Teri Anderson

Are you constantly wondering what the hell is wrong with me? Why don’t I trust people? Why do the same things keep happening over and over again? Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I ever feel like I’m enough? HOW DO I CHANGE MY LIFE?! Then it’s time to grab your coffee, or wine, or whatever you need and curl up on the couch with these real and inspiring conversations with Teri Anderson of Digging Through Dominoes. Don’t be surprised if you see glimpses of yourself as Teri shares her very real (sometimes hard to believe) stories. From childhood neglect to abusive relationships, she’s seen her fair share of hardships and KNOWS the feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness and despair. But she fought her way through to where she is today – fighting the good fight to live a good life, learning about herself and how to love herself. More importantly, she wants to share that hope and optimism that she’s gained through enduring the hardest of times. In a world where depression and anxiety are growing, and PTSD is finally being recognized, we all need a safe place to go and be heard and understood. Digging through Dominoes is that place. It’s the place to be if you’ve experienced any sort of mental, physical or emotional trauma. It’s a safe haven that welcomes you in, but isn’t afraid to talk about what hurts the most. The stories may be hard but they are REAL and there is hope at the end of the day! Teri’s mission is to let you know that you’re safe, you’re definitely not alone, and to never give up because there is always hope!

  1. Jun 5

    What Everyone Missed When I Was Crying Out For Help S5 E4

    Have you ever looked back at a version of yourself and barely recognized the person staring back at you? A few weeks ago, I found a stack of old journals. Dusty notebooks I'd forgotten existed. I opened them expecting memories. What I found instead was a map. Page by page, entry by entry, I watched myself disappear. I watched a woman who was exhausted, overwhelmed, confused, and desperately trying to make sense of what was happening inside her own mind. I watched someone crying for help without even knowing how to ask for it. What shocked me most wasn't how bad things got. It was how obvious it seems now. The pain was right there in black and white. The fear was there. The hopelessness was there. The loneliness was there. Yet at the time, people told me I was attention-seeking. They told me to snap out of it. They told me to think positive. What they didn't see was that I was fighting battles I couldn't even explain. And if I'm being honest, there were moments when I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep going. Today, I'm going to share parts of that journey. Not because I want sympathy. Not because I want to relive the pain. But because someone listening right now may be where I was. Someone may be feeling broken, misunderstood, exhausted, misdiagnosed, overmedicated, or completely alone. And I want you to know something: You are not alone. I know because I've been there. These journals tell the story of my fall, the wrong turns, the labels that never fit, the medications that made things worse, the moments I thought I'd never find my way back, and ultimately, how I rebuilt my life piece by piece. This is the story of losing sight of the sun. And how, eventually, I found it again.

    1h 7m
  2. May 22

    Is THIS the Key to a Happier Life? S5 E3

    Expectations can quietly destroy us. They can ruin relationships, fuel resentment, trigger childhood wounds, and keep us trapped in cycles of abandonment, trauma, and emotional pain.  In this episode, I want to talk about expectations, especially for those of us who grew up with childhood neglect, abuse, abandonment, emotional trauma, or complex PTSD. Many of us learned very early that our needs wouldn’t be met. Some of those wounds began before we could even speak. When a baby cries, they expect comfort. They expect safety. But for many of us, those expectations were broken long before we understood why we felt unsafe in the world. For years, I expected people to heal me. I expected doctors to fix me. Back in 2008, after being misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, I was heavily medicated with medications that nearly destroyed my life. Years later, a psychiatrist finally told me the truth: “You don’t have bipolar disorder. You have Complex PTSD.” That moment changed everything. Suddenly I understood that so much of my suffering came not from who I was — but from what had happened to me. And expectations were at the center of all of it. I realized I spent most of my life expecting love from people who were incapable of giving it. Expecting validation from people who never saw me clearly. Expecting family members to become emotionally healthy when they had no desire to heal themselves. That realization hurt. But it also freed me. This year, during my birthday trip, I started seeing expectations differently. I went away alone like I usually do — something I began years ago because birthdays carried too much pain and disappointment at home. I expected to spend my time taking photographs, staying isolated, controlling my environment so I wouldn’t get hurt. But life interrupted my plans in unexpected ways. I ended up at a poetry reading in Palm Springs that completely shattered my assumptions. I walked in expecting pretentious performances and emotional distance. Instead, I heard raw humanity. One man told a story about his grandmother dying while insisting someone leave the television on so she could make sure the Yankees lost. It was funny, heartbreaking, deeply human — and completely unexpected. That night forced me to realize something important: Every artist had their own voice, their own rhythm, their own imperfections. And I realized how much of my own life I had spent comparing myself to others — photographers, artists, friends, even strangers online. Trauma teaches us to shrink ourselves. To believe we’re only valuable if we become what someone else wants us to be. But healing begins when we stop trying to imitate other people and start allowing ourselves to exist authentically. I also realized how expectations had shaped my relationships. Growing up with an alcoholic father and a mother who emotionally neglected me left wounds I carried into adulthood. When you grow up feeling unwanted, you unconsciously recreate those dynamics later in life. You chase people who withhold love because some part of you still hopes you can finally earn it.  We create silent contracts in our minds that nobody else agreed to. We expect people to love us the way we love them. We expect loyalty, honesty, effort, emotional maturity — even from people who have never demonstrated they’re capable of those things. One of the most healing moments of my life happened recently through something I never expected. My youngest son reached out to me after years of distance. At first I was guarded. Trauma teaches you to brace for betrayal. But he kept showing up. He told me he finally understood what I had been carrying while raising multiple children, navigating mental illness in the family, chaos, hospitals, conflict, and survival. He told me he saw now what I had gone through. I cannot explain how healing that was. Not because it erased the pain — but because it reminded me that life still has room for unexpected grace. Healing isn’t about becoming fearless. It’s about loosening your grip on expectations. It’s about learning that your self-worth cannot depend on whether other people finally choose to see your value. The truth is, many of us were taught to live inside emotional boxes built by other people’s cruelty, neglect, criticism, or abuse. But we don’t have to stay there. You are not broken because someone failed to love you correctly. You are not unworthy because someone projected their poison onto you. And you do not need to keep shrinking yourself trying to earn love from emotionally unavailable people. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is release the expectation… and finally choose ourselves. Healing is possible. You are valuable. Life is not over because someone failed to see your worth.   FB https://www.facebook.com/DiggingThroughDominoes/ IG https://www.instagram.com/diggingthroughdominoes/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@falcongirl.gsd #podcast  #expectations #trauma     #healing

    50 min
  3. Mar 23

    The DARK Truth About Her Hidden, Haunting, History S5 E2

    This episode of Digging Through Dominoes tells a deeply emotional, hidden truth, about her personal story of betrayal, trauma, survival, and healing. The speaker begins by explaining that a canceled podcast episode and something upsetting on social media triggered intense emotions, leading her to share a story she has never fully told before. She recounts leaving home at 18 due to a difficult, emotionally neglectful upbringing. With no real guidance or life skills, she quickly became involved with an older man she barely knew. Their relationship escalated into marriage and severe abuse almost immediately. He was controlling, criminal, and violently abusive—physically assaulting her, manipulating her, and attempting to force her into prostitution. She lived in constant fear and survival mode, moving with him from Texas to Nevada. Despite multiple warning signs and opportunities to leave, she felt trapped due to fear, lack of support, and emotional conditioning. The turning point came when she became pregnant—this gave her the strength to escape. She returned to her parents’ home, though their response was emotionally distant and lacked understanding or support. She describes ongoing harassment from her abuser, legal and financial fallout from his actions, and her determination to protect her child, including refusing to name him as the father. Over time, she reflects on her childhood, recognizing patterns of emotional neglect, lack of structure, and generational trauma that left her vulnerable. The episode also explores: How trauma shaped her identity and decisions The long-term psychological impact of abuse Her complicated feelings toward her parents—both anger and eventual compassion Her healing journey through therapy, support systems, and self-reflection The role of her child in motivating her survival and escape She ends by emphasizing resilience: despite everything, she survived, healed over time, and continues to grow. She hopes sharing her story helps others feel less alone and shows that it’s possible to make it through even extreme trauma. DIGGING THROUGH DOMINOES MAIN PODCAST PAGE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4A3V8sW0X5c1QZGqQfBqXw COMMON THREAD OF TRAUMA TATTOOS: https://youtu.be/K2PTqmvhxWE My Trauma Tattoos: Story of Healing and Hope - My Tattoo Tour: https://youtu.be/-gjjry83qUI FB https://www.facebook.com/DiggingThroughDominoes/ IG https://www.instagram.com/diggingthroughdominoes/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@falcongirl.gsd In this video, I share a personal story, reflecting on past experiences and how they've shaped my emotional well-being. It's a journey of self-discovery and a form of storytelling that helps process complex emotions. This narrative, much like a bedtime story for adults, helps in understanding personal history. 💔 adverse childhood experiences  betrayal narcissist hidden history survival

    1h 1m
  4. 10/31/2025 ·  Video

    Autism: A Parent's Perspective S4 E5

    Joshua's journey was marked by a constellation of challenges, making a singular diagnosis difficult and showing how his conditions interacted with each other and his environment. In this heartfelt conversation, Teri Anderson shares her personal journey navigating the complexities of raising a child with autism, reflecting on the challenges, societal stigma, and the impact of family dynamics. She discusses the therapeutic approaches taken, the struggles faced during her son's homelessness, and the profound loss she experienced. Teri emphasizes the importance of community support, understanding, and the ongoing fight against misconceptions surrounding autism and mental health. takeaways Autism awareness is increasing, but challenges remain. Early diagnosis can be difficult and often delayed. Family dynamics play a crucial role in the experience of autism. Therapeutic approaches vary in effectiveness and can be controversial. Homelessness and mental health issues are interconnected. The loss of a child brings profound reflection and guilt. Stigma surrounding autism can lead to isolation and misunderstanding. Community support is vital for families dealing with autism. Listening to one's intuition is essential in parenting. The journey of raising a child with autism is filled with both struggles and rewards. titles Navigating Autism: A Mother's Journey The Complexities of Autism and Family Dynamics Sound Bites "I had a lot of guilt." "He was extremely abused." "Listen to your gut." Chapters 00:00 Understanding Autism: A Personal Journey 10:05 The Struggles of Parenting a Child with Autism 19:56 Uncovering the Truth: Abuse and Misunderstandings 29:54 Therapeutic Approaches and Their Impact 42:15 Navigating Crisis: A Mother's Journey 48:10 Understanding Homelessness and Mental Health 52:59 Community and Connection in the Face of Adversity 56:34 The Struggles of Seeking Help 01:02:58 The Heartbreaking Reality of Loss 01:12:34 Reflections on Parenting and Mental Health 01:18:32 A Message of Hope and Resilience autism, mental health, family dynamics, therapy, homelessness, parenting, stigma, community support, personal journey, awareness summary autism asd autism spectrum disorder autistic autism awareness autism treatment autism spectrum adult autism autism spectrum disorder  autism autism diagnosis sensory processing late diagnosed autism symptoms of autism mental health neurodivergent psychologist,autism in men signs of autism in adulthood  autism experience early signs of asd humanity aspergers homeless Portland Teri Anderson Digging Through Dominoes

    1h 4m
  5. 04/19/2025

    Tattoos as Therapy: A Journey of Self-Expression - S4 E3

    In this conversation, Teri Anderson explores the profound connection between trauma and tattoos, discussing how individuals use body art as a means of self-expression and healing. She highlights the common experiences of trauma survivors and the various ways they cope, including the use of tattoos to tell their stories. The discussion delves into the symbolism behind popular tattoo designs, the significance of memorial tattoos, and the transformative power of art in the healing process. Teri emphasizes the importance of understanding the narratives behind tattoos, encouraging listeners to see them as expressions of resilience and recovery. In this conversation, Teri Anderson explores the profound connection between tattoos and personal healing. She shares various stories behind tattoos that symbolize resilience, trauma, and recovery. The discussion emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, community, and self-expression in the healing journey. Teri highlights how tattoos serve as reminders of strength and transformation, while also addressing the emotional weight of personal experiences and the significance of shared narratives among trauma survivors. Takeaways Tattoos can represent deep, unspoken trauma. Not all tattoos are linked to pain; some celebrate joy. Art on the body can be a powerful storytelling tool. Coping mechanisms for trauma have evolved over time. There is one thing that the tattoos of trauma survivors have in common. And that is a deep.That is a deep, soul crushing pain that's either known or unknown, spoken or unspoken. Maya Angelou said, up from a past that's rooted in pain, I rise. And I think that's very true with what we see in today's culture of trauma survivors telling their stories and letting others see exactly. how they're feeling. We're reclaiming our bodies. We're reclaiming our thoughts. We are reclaiming our identities. Before I go any further, I want to say that not all tattoos are rooted in pain. Not all tattoos are rooted in trauma. but for those of us that have chosen to wear our stories. That's the case. In past decades, the survivors of trauma dealt with their trauma. through a lot of different coping mechanisms, including avoidance, substance abuse, seeking social support, religious practices, rituals, creative outlets, sometimes therapy, but therapy wasn't always. Therapy was pretty much a stigma in past decades. In today's culture, with tattoos being more prevalent, and the stigma of self-harm. being so heavy. Many of us have chosen to tell our stories. through the art on our bodies.   Teri Anderson (05:10.688) And I wanted in the past, the past episode, we talked a lot about the correlation between trauma. We spoke a lot about the core. I spoke a lot. I spoke a lot about the correlations there are between trauma and tattoos. Here we are in 2025. My traumas started in 1962, the year I was born. A lot of them were seared into my soul and I didn't know what they were. I had no idea what they were. But I wanted to go through in this episode here and kind of show you some of these. So you'll be aware if you see someone with some of these tattoos, you're be able to put it together and you're gonna be able to say, oh my gosh, I know what that means instead of, oh my gosh, that's trash. That was totally stupid. It might give you a little better understanding at some of the pain and some of the situations that we've gone through that have really been bigger and heavier than we have been able to carry alone. I think in some instances we do tell our story. in some instances, in some instances, in some situations. We are using tattooing. so we don't harm. so we don't do anything that will harm our bodies and leave a scar filled with stigma. So I'm gonna go through several resources here. I've got some pages pulled up here on the web that I'm gonna try and screen share with you guys. Some of the stories that people have that have survived their traumas. how they chose to represent themselves. and the meaning of the symbols that we see inked into the skin of people all around us. I guess first I wanted to read something to you from this incredible book that I found and I'll link it in the show notes below. It is called Tattoo Monologues Indelible Marks on the Body and Soul. I'll put the author's names in the show notes as well as the photographer's name. I'm not sure if I'll use any of these filters or not to make a point, but there are a lot of things that I would like to. touch on in this book. Teri Anderson (09:02.08) And one of the reasons I think if you're contemplating If you're trying to put your trauma together with your ink. I think this book might be very helpful, especially for women. Teri Anderson (09:23.509) One of the things in here. for praise for tattoo monologues is tattoo monologue sends a powerful message to tattoo trauma survivors like me, like you. We don't have to cover or we don't have to cower in the shame of our trauma. We don't have to hide our ink. They are a part of our stories. I find that very, very true. And as I said in the last episode, I don't see trauma or I don't see people with tattoos and think, my God. I see trauma. Sometimes I see beautiful art and I have some that are just beautiful art. But the ones that you see mainly on me that are the black and gray, those are trauma. I didn't know it at the time. I was trying to survive a horrible, horrible situation, horrible memories. But I wanted to go through some of the different, as I said, some of the different tattoos that we see. Teri Anderson (10:40.192) in Trauma survivors. Let me see if I can share this screen. Teri Anderson (11:08.928) Okay, this screen is from themighty.com. 23 tattoos that represent healing from childhood trauma. Now, of course, here we have the beautiful Phoenix. Teri Anderson (11:31.766) And I think that that pretty much relates with what my Angela was speaking about rising. from a pain, from a. rising up from a pain that's rising up from a past that's rooted in pain Teri Anderson (11:56.718) From Maya Angelou's quote that I read earlier, up from a past that's rooted in pain, I rise. You're gonna see a lot of phoenixes. I know many people that have a phoenix. I considered one myself. And this tattoo right here that we have, this young woman, is a beautiful colorful phoenix. We can only see it in part there on her back. Teri Anderson (12:28.183) in what she has. All right, let's go into this next one, this black and white. Teri Anderson (12:39.5) or black and gray, my phoenix still in progress is a symbol of my strength, of how many times I've risen from the absolutely horrible medical circumstances that have both altered the course of my life and nearly taken my life. But I survived because of the fire inside. The fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. I think a lot of you might be able to identify with that. Now she says that this tattoo is still in progress. I will put this link in the show notes and it, like I said, it's the mighty.com, mental health, childhood trauma and tattoos. So she went full out back piece. I don't know, it's not saying if this was her first tattoo. But generally, I have found, it's not always the case, when someone goes in, go big or go home, there's trauma, there's a story there. And sometimes, you know, a little tiny space the size of a quarter can't really fill, in my case, 62 years. of dealing with trauma and this discovery of trauma. Teri Anderson (14:10.062) All right, the next one that we come to is a semicolon. Teri Anderson (14:31.264) is a semicolon. And the semicolon I think is pretty unique. I had considered one. Teri Anderson (14:43.084) And I still might do that. I'm going to have to find a unique way to deal to do that. But the semi-colon basically says, my story is not over. This woman is saying, it seems odd, but I distinctly remember reading a book about. What the hell? That's a totally different one. Teri Anderson (15:06.082) the semicolon, a lot of times is saying to remember every time I wanted to give up. Teri Anderson (15:16.852) every time I almost gave up and even when I tried to that I got through everything that had happened. Not only was it difficult but I experienced it as a child. It's a constant reminder to keep fighting and never forget what's brought me where I am now. Teri Anderson (15:45.55) And that is the semicolon. Teri Anderson (16:00.696) The semicolon. And you're going to see that on a lot, mainly women. I've seen it on women more than I have seen it on men. There are a lot of different tattoos that symbolize trauma or what people have gone through in their lives and trying to be the better person, trying to understand, trying to... Teri Anderson (16:32.916) Almost we have felt invisible for so long. We're not going to be invisible anymore. We felt forgotten. Teri Anderson (16:45.056) in ways that think few people can understand. Teri Anderson (16:53.262) So this person was talking about, they remembered reading a book about forests and forest fires when they were a child and learning how the ecosystem recovered after a fire. I read that some trees' would only successfully plant and germinate after a large fire hot enough to open whatever structure the tree used to contain its seeds. Teri Anderson (17:34.4) And as a little bit of a, you know, that just reminded me of something. I was on a motorcycle one day with, we do this run. My friend Brian holds it every year. It's the St. Helens Memorial Motorcycle Run. And one thing that really struck me on the first time, one of the first times I went up was the devastation. that was caused in 1980 by this volcanic eruption that took many lives and left miles and miles of damage. In between the burnt trees, they're still out there charred 40 something years later. There's new growth. There are flowers. There's beauty. And I think that really speaks to why some

    40 min
  6. 03/24/2025

    Why Getting Tattoos Might Be Linked To Past Trauma? S4 E2

    Summary This conversation delves into the intricate relationship between tattoos and trauma, exploring how body art serves as a form of self-expression, coping mechanism, and cultural identity. Teri Anderson shares personal anecdotes and research findings that highlight the prevalence of tattoos among individuals with traumatic experiences, particularly childhood abuse. The discussion emphasizes the significance of tattoos in narrating personal stories and fostering connections within communities. Takeaways * Tattoos have been used for various reasons throughout history, including cultural and religious significance. * There is a notable correlation between tattoos and trauma, particularly among individuals with mental health issues. * Tattoos can serve as a coping mechanism for emotional pain, providing a sense of control and relief. * The resurgence of tattoos in modern culture reflects changing societal attitudes towards body modification. * Many individuals with tattoos report them as symbols of survival and resilience against past traumas. * Research indicates that tattoos are more common among those who have experienced childhood abuse and neglect. * Tattoos can help redefine one's identity and serve as a visual reminder of personal growth and healing. * The motivations for getting tattoos can vary widely, from personal expression to social resistance. * Tattoos can be a way to narrate one's story and foster connections with others who have similar experiences. * Understanding the significance of tattoos can help reduce stigma and promote acceptance of body art. Sound Bites * "Tattoos can give us clues to psychiatric conditions." * "Tattoos and trauma are deeply connected." * "Tattoos tell a story of identity and belonging." * "Tattoos can be a form of social resistance." * "Tattoos are often linked to lower self-esteem." * "The prevalence of tattoos is higher among trauma survivors." * "Tattoos can help redefine oneself after trauma." * "Tattoos are a visual reminder of survival." * "Tattoos can serve as a coping mechanism." * "Tattoos are a mark of survival and resilience." Chapters 00:00 Exploring Tattoos and Trauma 12:01 Cultural Significance of Tattoos 24:44 Tattoos as a Coping Mechanism 36:31 Childhood Trauma and Body Modification

    37 min

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

Are you constantly wondering what the hell is wrong with me? Why don’t I trust people? Why do the same things keep happening over and over again? Is there something wrong with me? Why don’t I ever feel like I’m enough? HOW DO I CHANGE MY LIFE?! Then it’s time to grab your coffee, or wine, or whatever you need and curl up on the couch with these real and inspiring conversations with Teri Anderson of Digging Through Dominoes. Don’t be surprised if you see glimpses of yourself as Teri shares her very real (sometimes hard to believe) stories. From childhood neglect to abusive relationships, she’s seen her fair share of hardships and KNOWS the feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness and despair. But she fought her way through to where she is today – fighting the good fight to live a good life, learning about herself and how to love herself. More importantly, she wants to share that hope and optimism that she’s gained through enduring the hardest of times. In a world where depression and anxiety are growing, and PTSD is finally being recognized, we all need a safe place to go and be heard and understood. Digging through Dominoes is that place. It’s the place to be if you’ve experienced any sort of mental, physical or emotional trauma. It’s a safe haven that welcomes you in, but isn’t afraid to talk about what hurts the most. The stories may be hard but they are REAL and there is hope at the end of the day! Teri’s mission is to let you know that you’re safe, you’re definitely not alone, and to never give up because there is always hope!