Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman

Natasha Riley
  • 5.0 (10)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast for accomplished Black women ready to stop just surviving and start truly living. I'm Natasha Riley, licensed therapist and CEO of Javery Integrative Wellness Services, and this is where we move beyond talking about change to actually creating it. Each episode gives you practical tools to build a daily pleasure practice—the art of finding joy, presence, and fulfillment in your ordinary life. Because you've already proven you can achieve anything. Now it's time to learn how to enjoy it. This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about being fully present with what's already there.

  1. 22h ago

    You're Not Lazy. You Just Don't Know How to Rest Yet.

    Episode Summary In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we kick off a brand-new series inside Season 7's desire theme: the seven types of rest. I'll walk you through why the rest you've been taking might not be working — not because you're doing it wrong, but because no one ever taught you that rest is allowed to include desire. If you've ever rested all weekend and still felt empty, or called yourself lazy when your body was really just asking for something you wouldn't let yourself have, this one is for you. Over the next seven episodes, we're taking each type of rest one at a time — starting today with the reframe underneath all of them. What You'll Walk Away With → Why "productive rest vs. lazy rest" is the wrong question — and what to ask instead → The seven types of rest framework (physical, creative, sensory, social, spiritual, and more) and why physical rest alone was never going to be enough → Three reflection questions to figure out what kind of rest you've actually been avoiding Resources Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith (2017) — the seven types of rest framework referenced in this episode. ***This description contains an Amazon affiliate link. If you purchase through it, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.*** Sponsored By This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store Connect → Instagram · @javerywellness → Website · javerywellness.com Disclaimer Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

  2. Sep 11

    How to Choose Yourself When Everyone Needs You

    Episode SummaryIn this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore what happens in the actual moment you try to choose yourself — and why desire so often loses to other people's needs. Building on Episode 1's exploration of reconnecting with desire, I walk through why that desire gets so quiet when someone else's need gets loud, and what it's costing you to keep choosing the loud thing. If you've been trying to reconnect with what you want and feel like life keeps testing that the second you try, this one is for you. What You'll Walk Away With→ Why desire is quiet and need is loud — and why that's not a character flaw → A reflection question to sit with this week → Permission to let your desire speak first, even for three seconds Resources Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset Sponsored By This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store More From This Episode → Watch on YouTube → youtube.com/@javerywellness → Read the companion blog post → Upcoming events → javerywellness.com/events Connect → Instagram · @javerywellness → Website · javerywellness.com Disclaimer Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

  3. Sep 4

    When Did Having Fun Get So Hard?

    Episode Summary In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore what happens when you've spent so long achieving, performing, and being logical that you've completely lost touch with what you actually desire. I'm opening Season 7 with my own story — the hobbies I tried this summer, the struggle I didn't expect, and what it taught me about the gap between pursuing goals and following desire. If you've looked at your life on paper and thought "nothing is wrong, but something is missing" — this one is for you. What You'll Walk Away With → Why creativity and play feel so uncomfortable when your whole identity is built around being excellent — and why that makes complete sense → A reflection to sit with: What did you stop wanting because wanting felt dangerous? → Permission to start the season exactly where you are — confused, curious, and ready to remember Primary Action Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset Sponsored By This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store More From This Episode → Watch on YouTube → youtube.com/@javerywellness Connect → Instagram · @javerywellness → Website · javerywellness.com Disclaimer Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

  4. May 29

    Why I'm Taking My Own Advice This Summer

    In this Season 6 finale of Owning Pleasure as a Black Woman, Natasha does something radical: she actually takes her own advice. After a season spent naming the patterns that keep high-achieving women stuck — inherited guilt, the productivity trap, the double bind of self-care, the cost of always choosing everyone else — Natasha pauses to reflect on what this season was really about, and what it looks like to move from content consumption to actual implementation. She'll be back in September. And she's inviting you to enjoy your summer too. If you've been nodding along all season and still feel stuck, this episode is your permission slip — and your next step. Key Takeaways: Understanding your patterns and actually changing them require two different things — and knowing the difference is the first real stepConsuming content about rest is not the same as resting — and this season was an invitation to close that gapModeling rest matters: when you see someone else take a real break without the world falling apart, it gives you permission to do the same Listen Now: Hit play to hear why the woman who's been teaching you about rest all season is finally taking some — and why she wants you to do the same. Links Mentioned: Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset] Connect with Us: Instagram: @javerywellnessFacebook: @javeryIWSYouTube: @javerywellnessWebsite: www.javerywellness.com Leave a Review: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most! Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

  5. May 22

    You're Not Falling Apart — You're Holding Everyone Together (The Sandwich Generation)

    In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we're talking about the pattern that gets mistaken for strength all the time — hyper-independence. If you're the woman everyone leans on but you can't remember the last time you actually let someone carry something for you, this episode is going to feel very familiar. We explore where this pattern comes from, what it's really protecting you from, and what it might be costing you in your relationships and your sense of connection. This isn't about fixing yourself — it's about understanding yourself, maybe for the first time. Key Takeaways: Hyper-independence is a protective response, not a personality type — and it usually develops for very good reasonsThe same pattern that kept you safe at some point may now be the thing keeping you isolatedTrue connection requires a kind of vulnerability that hyper-independence doesn't allow — and there's a way through that doesn't require you to abandon yourself Listen Now: Hit play to hear why the most exhausting thing you might be doing is refusing to let anyone help you. Links Mentioned: Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset] Connect with Us: Instagram: @javerywellnessFacebook: @javeryIWSYouTube: @javerywellnessWebsite: www.javerywellness.com Leave a Review: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most! Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

  6. May 15

    Why Asking for Help Feels Dangerous

    In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we're talking about the pattern that gets mistaken for strength all the time — hyperindependence. If you're the woman everyone leans on but you can't remember the last time you actually let someone carry something for you, this episode is going to feel very familiar. We explore where this pattern comes from, what it's really protecting you from, and what it might be costing you in your relationships and your sense of connection. This isn't about fixing yourself — it's about understanding yourself, maybe for the first time. Key Takeaways: Hyperindependence is a protective response, not a personality type — and it usually develops for very good reasonsThe same pattern that kept you safe at some point may now be the thing keeping you isolatedTrue connection requires a kind of vulnerability that hyperindependence doesn't allow — and there's a way through that doesn't require you to abandon yourself Blog Post: Want to go deeper on this topic? Read the accompanying blog post: Hyper-Independence Isn't a Personality Trait. It's a Survival Strategy. Read it here. Watch on YouTube: Prefer to watch? Head over to our YouTube channel to catch the full episode: Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman. Watch it here. Listen Now: Hit play to hear why the most exhausting thing you might be doing is refusing to let anyone help you. Links Mentioned: Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset] Connect with Us: Instagram: @javerywellnessFacebook: @javeryIWSYouTube: @javerywellnessWebsite: www.javerywellness.com Leave a Review: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most! Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

  7. May 8

    She Did Everything Right w/ Symone' Austin

    In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we sit down with Simone’ — UX content designer turned full-time content creator — for one of the most honest conversations we've had about what happens when you do everything you were supposed to do... and life still falls apart. After nearly a decade in tech, Simone was laid off in 2025. She recorded the moment, posted it, and watched it reach over 700,000 views overnight. But this episode isn't really about going viral. It's about what it means to lose the thing you built your identity around, have to ask for help when you've never done that before, and slowly discover that the version of yourself on the other side is someone you actually like. If you've ever felt like your worth was wrapped up in your job title, struggled to ask for support, or wondered what it would look like to finally choose yourself — this one's for you. 📷 Love the video quality in this episode? Simone records using the Acer 4K Webcam — shop it on her Amazon Storefront here. This is an affiliate link. Simone’ may earn a small commission if you purchase through this link, at no extra cost to you. Key Takeaways: Grief looks like guilt: Simone’ shares how losing a job she didn't even cause felt like letting her family down — and what that revealed about where her sense of worth was living.Asking for help is a skill, not a weakness: From getting a roommate to launching a Buy Me a Coffee, Simone’ had to completely reframe what it meant to receive support — and found out people were more generous than she expected.Survival mode can quietly become your ceiling: It wasn't until Simone’ stopped just trying to cover her bills and started asking "what if I actually went for it?" that everything shifted. Watch the Video That Started It All: See the moment Simone recorded her layoff in real time — the video that reached over 700,000 views. And yes, she made $15,000 in 30 days – check out how she did it. Watch on YouTube: Prefer to watch instead of listen? Head over to our YouTube channel to catch the full episode: [Watch it here.] Listen Now: Ready to get inspired? Hit play to hear what becomes possible when the life you planned stops working — and you finally let yourself want something different. Follow Simone: YouTube: youtube.com/@lifeandnumbersInstagram: instagram.com/thelifeandnumbersTikTok: tiktok.com/@lifeandnumbersSubstack: substack.com/@lifeandnumbers Links Mentioned: Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset] Connect with Us: Instagram: @javerywellnessFacebook: @javeryIWSYouTube: @javerywellnessWebsite: www.javerywellness.com Leave a Review: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most! Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

    She Did Everything Right w/ Symone' Austin

  8. May 1

    Ability vs. Capacity

    In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we're sitting with a distinction that has the potential to change everything: the difference between ability and capacity. Being able to handle something has never meant you were supposed to. If you're a high-achieving woman who keeps saying yes out of competence rather than bandwidth, this episode will help you see why — and what it's been costing you. Tune in for warm, honest reflection on the survival pattern of overriding your own limits, and what it might look like to finally stop. Key Takeaways: Ability is what your skills allow. Capacity is what your system can sustain. Confusing the two is a pattern, not a personality trait.For many high-achieving Black women, demonstrating ability became a survival strategy — but honoring capacity was never modeled as an option.When we consistently override capacity, the body eventually forces the pause we refused to give ourselves. Blog Post: Want to explore this topic further? Read the companion blog post: Being Capable Doesn't Mean You're Required to Do It. Read it here. Listen Now: Ready to give yourself permission to work within your actual limits? Hit play. Links Mentioned: Get Started with Therapy: Ready to move from understanding to implementation? Complete the intake form a javerywellness.com/get-startedFree 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Start taking action today. Download our free guide and join our newsletter at javerywellness.com/reset Connect With Us: Instagram: @javerywellnessFacebook: @javeryIWSYouTube: @javerywellnessWebsite: www.javerywellness.com Leave a Review: If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most! Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

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A podcast for accomplished Black women ready to stop just surviving and start truly living. I'm Natasha Riley, licensed therapist and CEO of Javery Integrative Wellness Services, and this is where we move beyond talking about change to actually creating it. Each episode gives you practical tools to build a daily pleasure practice—the art of finding joy, presence, and fulfillment in your ordinary life. Because you've already proven you can achieve anything. Now it's time to learn how to enjoy it. This isn't about adding more to your plate. It's about being fully present with what's already there.

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