The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Renee Swanson, Bleav

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

  1. 1d ago

    When Your Children Start to See Covert Narcissism, Part 1

    In this two-part CNG Community Chat, four moms sit down to talk about one of the hardest parts of covert narcissistic abuse recovery: watching your children start to see it for themselves. In part one, they share the specific moments — some sudden, some slow-dawning — when their kids realized what was really happening at home, and what daily life looks like now as their relationships with the other parent shift. If you've ever wondered how much your kids really see, or carried guilt about what they've lived through, this conversation will meet you right where you are. If this resonates, my coaching program can help you work through it one-on-one — learn more here: www.covertnarcissism.com Want conversations like this one delivered straight to you? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. If you'd like to be part of a future CNG Community Chat, you can sign up here: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats The stories shared in this episode reflect the personal experiences and perspectives of community members and are shared for the purpose of support, connection, and healing — not as therapy, diagnosis, or legal advice. Every family situation is different, and if you're navigating covert narcissistic abuse, custody concerns, or your children's wellbeing, please consult a licensed therapist or attorney who can speak to your specific circumstances. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  2. 5d ago

    Covert Narcissism & Kids: Helping Them Trust Their Nervous System

    When one parent shows up as the "nice, generous" one — buying gifts instead of ever offering real repair, gaslighting instead of listening — kids learn to distrust the very signals that are supposed to keep them safe. In this episode, Renee walks through practical, age-specific tools to help kids and teens of a covert narcissist reconnect with their own nervous system: how to recognize an emotional signal before it becomes a full-blown meltdown, how to separate a parent's gaslighting from their own gut-check, and how to teach a child that their feelings don't need anyone's permission to be real. Whether you're newly separated, co-parenting with a covert narcissist, or supporting kids through narcissistic abuse recovery, this episode gives you language and tools you can use today. If you're ready for more support on your own healing journey, I invite you to check out my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. If this episode spoke to you, please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  3. Jul 9

    Covert Narcissism Recovery: Going No Contact and Finding Yourself Again

    In part two of this community chat, the conversation goes even deeper. We pick back up right where we left off — with Denise sharing what it actually took to go no contact after twenty-seven years of covert narcissistic abuse, including the post-separation hoovering, manipulation, and false self-awareness that so often follows a breakup or divorce with a covert narcissist. She also opens up about hitting a devastating low point before finally realizing that no contact was the only way forward — a moment that changes everything for her. We talk about triangulation, and how a narcissistic parent can quietly turn children against the healthier parent — often without either parent realizing what's happening until years later, and what it's like to uncover that damage after the fact. We talk about grief, and how leaving a narcissistic relationship means grieving not just the relationship, but the person you thought you were with, and the future you thought you'd have. We talk about trauma bonding, gaslighting, and why it can take so long to see clearly, even after you've physically left — especially when years of walking on eggshells have taught you to doubt your own perception. This episode also gets into the real, physical cost of narcissistic abuse — chronic health conditions, PTSD, emotional dysregulation, and the mental exhaustion that comes from years of narcissistic abuse recovery work. And we talk about what it actually looks like to start finding yourself again after covert narcissism: rebuilding your identity, reclaiming your self-advocacy, discovering strengths you didn't know you had, and learning to trust your own instincts after a covert narcissist spent years teaching you not to. This isn't a tidy, wrapped-up healing story — it's honest, and it's real. If you're navigating your own narcissistic abuse recovery, whether you've just gone no contact or you're years down the road, this conversation is for you. To work with Renee, visit her website at www.covertnarcissism.com The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  4. Jul 5

    The Covert Narcissist's Mask: What's Really Underneath

    If you've ever felt like something was missing in a relationship with a covert narcissist — a flatness, a lack of depth, a sense that you're never quite reaching the real person — this episode is for you. In this episode, Renee breaks down the mask covert narcissists wear using a new framework: not a costume hiding a "true self," but a crown covering an exposed nerve that never developed protection. This reframe explains why the mask never fully comes off, and why even gentle honesty can trigger a reaction that feels wildly out of proportion. You'll learn why DARVO, stonewalling, disproportionate rage, and hollow apologies aren't calculated manipulation so much as reflexive alarm responses. You'll also understand why walking on eggshells around someone never actually works — because real intimacy means eventually touching the nerve, no matter how careful you are. This episode reframes narcissistic abuse recovery around a compassionate but clear-eyed truth: the emptiness you sensed was real, and it was never your failure to look hard enough. If this episode resonates and you're ready for support in moving forward, I invite you to learn more about my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. You don't have to untangle this alone. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  5. Jul 2

    Covert Narcissism Recovery: Do I Stay or Do I Go? A Community Chat

    Some of the hardest questions in a narcissistic relationship don't have easy answers — and "do I stay, or do I go" is one of them. In this episode, I'm joined by three women from our CNG community for a raw, honest community chat about life inside a covert narcissistic relationship, and the impossible in-between of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what to do about it. These ladies each share their own version of the fog — the gradual awakening to covert narcissism, the years spent believing this was just normal marital struggle, and the moment they finally had language for what they were living. We talk about what it's like to be married to someone who is charming and beloved by everyone else, while walking on eggshells at home — a form of gaslighting that leaves you questioning your own reality. We talk about the isolation of COVID and how it forced so many people to finally recognize the narcissistic abuse they were living with day in and day out. We talk about the fear of opening up to someone for the first time, and what it costs to carry something invisible, completely alone. We also get into the real reasons so many of us stay in these relationships — financial fear, trauma bonding, health struggles, kids, guilt, the belief that if we just tried harder or understood more, things would change. And we start to unpack how deeply narcissistic abuse impacts the body, not just the mind — the emotional dysregulation, the mental exhaustion, the physical toll of walking on eggshells for years. Whether you're still in the fog yourself, actively trying to make sense of your relationship, or years removed and just now connecting the dots, this conversation on narcissistic abuse recovery will meet you where you are. This is part one of a two-part conversation — part two goes even deeper into what it took for these women to finally leave, and what healing actually looked like on the other side. For more help specific to your journey, visit www.covertnarcissism.com The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  6. Jun 28

    Covert Narcissist Relationships: Love Bombing, Smear Campaigns, and Surviving the Aftermath

    When you finally speak your truth to a covert narcissist, you expect relief. What you don't expect is what comes next. In this episode — the follow-up to Covert Narcissist Relationships: When You Can't Live the Lie Anymore — Renee Swanson walks through what actually happens in the aftermath of confronting a covert narcissist. Why love bombing feels like hope but is really about control. What a smear campaign looks like and why the people around you believe it. How to recognize when escalation and rage are designed to make you feel like the confrontation was your mistake. Renee also covers the internal experience of the aftermath — the emotional whiplash, the second-guessing, the particular loneliness of telling the truth and still not feeling heard — and what your body is doing while all of this is happening. Plus what you actually need in this season: how to find safe people, stay grounded in the chaos, and begin moving forward without making permanent decisions in the eye of the storm. If you are in the middle of the hardest season of a covert narcissistic relationship, this episode will help you understand what is happening — and remind you that you are not losing your mind. To work with Renee Swanson and address the specifics of your situation, visit her website at www.covertnarcissism.com The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  7. Jun 25

    How to Set Boundaries With a Toxic Aging Parent (Without the Guilt)

    Do you owe your toxic aging parent everything... or nothing? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Stinson, author of The Obligation Myth: Rethinking What You Owe Your Difficult Aging Parent, joins the show to unpack what happens when a critical, dismissive, or covertly narcissistic parent starts needing care — and why "I do everything" or "I do nothing" was never the real choice. We dig into the specific family roles that get assigned in childhood — the scapegoat, the golden child, the invisible child, and the enmeshed child — and how each one carries a different wound, gets triggered differently, and needs a completely different approach to setting a boundary. Dr. Stinson also breaks down how fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) get weaponized differently depending on which role you were handed, and why your role can shift as the family system changes around you. If you've ever walked into your parent's house and instantly felt five years old again, this episode will help you understand why — and what to actually do about it. Lisa D. Stinson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist specializing in complex PTSD, narcissistic abuse recovery, adult children of dysfunctional families, and the psychology of toxic family obligation. Her expertise was forged through extensive experience as an active-duty Navy psychologist, where she predominantly worked with trauma patients. Dr. Stinson holds both a Master's degree and Doctorate from the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University, following her undergraduate studies at the University of Alaska Anchorage. Substack:  lisadstinsonphd.substack.com Website:  lisadstinsonphd.com The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

  8. Jun 21

    Covert Narcissist Relationships: When You Can't Live the Lie Anymore

    There comes a point in a covert narcissistic relationship when you can no longer live the lie. Not a dramatic breaking point necessarily — sometimes it's a slow erosion that leaves you mentally exhausted, emotionally numb, and physically depleted. Sometimes it's a single moment of devastating clarity you can never unsee. In this episode, Renee Swanson shares her own story of hitting the wall in her marriage to a covert narcissist — the slow erosion that wore away her mental bandwidth, her emotional capacity, and her physical health, alongside the quiet moment of clarity that changed everything. She breaks down the two distinct paths to reaching your breaking point, what happens internally when you finally decide to speak your truth, and what to realistically expect when you confront a covert narcissist — including DARVO, minimizing, and emotional manipulation designed to knock you off balance. If you've been walking on eggshells, doubting your own perception, or wondering if you're the only one who feels this exhausted in your relationship, this episode will help you recognize what's happening and find the words to finally name your reality out loud. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

4.8
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.

You Might Also Like