It's Not That Deep

Adrienne Kirk and Lucy Ranger
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

In each episode Adrienne Kirk, a Psychotherapist and Lucy Ranger (was Woods), a Mindfulness Specialist bring some lightness to often difficult subjects, helping to navigate through the messiness of life's challenges. With a real emphasis on how to move towards flourishing, It's Not That Deep, looks at what it really is to be human, and offers some tools and strategies that help to support our wellbeing. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 3d ago

    Why Do We Put Off the Hard Things?

    In this episode, we delve into the common challenge of avoiding difficult tasks, and we examine the emotional and practical barriers that keep us stuck. Often, when we find ourselves putting off getting on with the tricky things, we give ourselves a really hard time. However, it’s not as easy as just telling ourselves to get on with it! Being kind to ourselves helps us to recognise that our emotional capacity may be at breaking point. Once we can do that, we may be able to work out what one thing we might be possible to do, rather than thinking we need to complete the whole list. During this episode we share personal stories, psychological insights, and practical strategies to manage overwhelm and foster kindness towards ourselves. Tackling the hard things one step at a time with kindness towards yourself makes a significant difference. Resilience is built in small acts of compassion and realistic planning. Key topics: The complexity behind procrastinating on small but accumulative chores, like managing subscriptions or booking travel. How cognitive load and emotional capacity influence our ability to tackle tasks. We use the metaphor of a "bucket" to describe our mental capacity and how it's overwhelmed by stressors. The role of self-compassion and kindness in overcoming feelings of shame and failure. Practical strategies: breaking down tasks, scheduling focused time, and managing expectations. The impact of age, technology, and environmental factors on our capacity to do hard things. The importance of recognizing and sitting with discomfort rather than avoiding or resisting it. The power of incremental action—doing one thing at a time—and the mental shift from urgency to kindness. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  2. Jun 30

    Why don't we let go of the past?

    In this episode, we explore the complex nature of letting go of the past, the importance of boundaries, trust, and self-compassion. We talk about the difference between forgiving and forgetting. This can be a tricky one as we think that we ‘ought’ to just let go of things. And sometimes that is not in our best interests. We explore whether and when it’s ok to put in boundaries to protect ourself. We also discuss what happens when we hold on to a sense of things being better in the past and how that can affect our relationship with our present life.  We discuss practical ways to navigate emotional baggage, rebuild trust, and find balance between holding on and moving forward. Key topics Why we hold on to past hurts and memories The role of the brain in emotional patterns Boundaries and trust in relationships The difference between forgive and forget Practicing self-compassion and acceptance The impact of nostalgia on present life Techniques for letting go and closure The importance of perspective shift Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  3. Jun 16

    Why do we feel responsible for others' feelings?

    In this episode we explore why we often feel responsible for others' feelings, how boundaries influence our relationships, and discusses strategies for healthier communication and self-care, especially during times of change and grief. We can find it hard to stick to our boundaries because we don’t want to upset other people. This can lead us to feeling that our needs don’t count and we can become frustrated, sad or even angry. However, it can feel risky to change deeply ingrained habits - whether it’s saying no to family demands, setting limits on caring for others after grief, or navigating the complex dance of giving and receiving support. We don’t like to upset others. However we are responsible for our actions, but not how others respond to those actions. And this is important though difficult to remember when we are faced with the distress of others. And generally it’s not an either/or choice, we can take care of our own feelings and also the feelings of others. Key Topics Why we feel responsible for others' feelings The importance of boundaries in relationships Communication strategies for boundary setting Impact of grief and life changes on boundaries Self-care and emotional regulation Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  4. Jun 2

    Why do we get in our own way?

    In this episode we welcome a guest, Lou Collins, who shares her insights on how habits and patterns influence our behaviour. Lou helps women in business stop being their own biggest obstacle. With over 15 years of experience in behaviour change, including in substance use, she now works with the women who've done all the courses, know all the strategies, and are still stuck because the problem was never the strategy. It was the habits and patterns underneath it.    Together we explore the science behind habits, the importance of awareness, and practical strategies for rewiring the brain to overcome self-sabotage and achieve personal growth. Takeaways Awareness of habits is the first step to change. Not all patterns are the same; strategies must be personalised. Reward systems influence habit formation and change. Breaking habits involves rewiring neural pathways. Support and accountability are crucial for lasting change Lou Collins can be contacted here: https://www.instagram.com/theloucollins https://linktr.ee/loucollinscoaching Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  5. May 19

    Why do we find it hard to be honest?

    In this episode, we delve into the complex reasons behind our reluctance to tell the truth, from small everyday lies to avoiding pivotal conversations about mortality. We explore how avoidance impacts ourselves and others, the role of shame in our avoidance, and practical ways we can foster honesty in our relationships. We use personal examples to illustrate the impact of not being honest can have. We discuss how although honesty can be uncomfortable, often the relief and authenticity outweighs the temporary discomfort. We explore the idea that conversations we fear may be difficult can end up being the most transformative. Key Topics Covered: The emotional reactions and fears that lead to untruths and avoidance Examples from personal experiences: missed events, hiding purchases, and the fear of letting others down The deep connection between avoidance and shame, and how stories we tell ourselves reinforce this The role of familiarity and the unknown in avoiding difficult conversations The impact of avoiding honesty on mental health and human connection Strategies for practicing honest communication and overcoming fear The importance of having difficult conversations about mortality and practical preparations How misaligned perceptions of honesty and avoidance affect our relationships with family, friends, and clients in professional settings Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  6. May 5

    Why don't all therapeutic approaches suit everyone?

    In this episode, we welcomed a guest, Sassy Smith, who is the founder of Aphantasia Academy and author of Unseen Minds - A Therapist's Guide to Multisensory Aphantasia and Invisible Cognitive Differences    The episode delves into the fascinating world of cognitive differences, exploring how unique mental experiences like aphantasia, endophasia and SDAM shape our perception of reality. By understanding these variations, therapists can tailor their approaches to better meet the needs of their clients, and clients are able to articulate their experiences more easily. Lucy (who has aphantasia) and Sassy share personal insights, Adrienne adds a therapeutic perspective and all three of us discuss professional strategies that highlight the importance of recognising and validating individual cognitive profiles.   This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in enhancing therapeutic practices and fostering a deeper understanding of the human mind, and also anyone currently undergoing therapy. Sassy has generously offered a gift to listeners with codes that give discounts off her brilliant resources. FOUNDATIONS50 gives listeners a £50 discount for the Aphantasia Foundations course and NOTTHATDEEP gives a £100 discount for the Aphantasia Therapist training.  Unseen Minds: A Therapist's Guide to Multisensory Aphantasia and Invisible Cognitive Differences -https://www.amazon.com/Unseen-Minds-Therapists-Multisensory-Differences/dp/1036970612 Aphantasia Academy - https://www.aphantasiaacademy.com Sassy Smith on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/SassySmith Sassy Smith on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/aphantasia_academy/ Free CBT Masterclass on Aphantasia - https://www.aphantasiacoach.com/CBTMasterclass Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  7. Apr 21

    Why do we want things to be pleasant?

    In this, our 100th episode, we explore the very human tendency to desire pleasant experiences and the impact this wanting has on our well-being. It’s natural, of course, to delight in the pleasant, it only becomes a problem when we start to crave for things to be more pleasant and thereby end up increasing our own suffering.  We discuss the impact of trying to push away unpleasant feelings, and even diminishing our pleasant times by being sad that they will end! To offset this we delve into mindfulness, emotional regulation, and how acceptance of impermanence can lead to greater peace. Takeaways Wanting things to be pleasant can increase suffering when they are not Mindfulness helps in noticing subtle mood shifts and choosing responses Thoughts significantly influence feelings and can be challenged Acceptance of impermanence allows for greater peace and enjoyment of the present Small, neutral moments can be sources of steady happiness Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  8. Apr 7

    Why do we hold on to a bad mood?

    In this episode we explore why we hold onto bad moods. We discuss the psychological mechanisms behind it, and practical strategies to let go. We explore the role of thoughts, perceptions of injustice, and the importance of awareness and calming techniques. Takeaways Holding onto a bad mood often stems from perceived injustice or unfairness. Our stress response system complicates quick emotional release. Pattern recognition and confirmatory bias reinforce bad moods. Awareness and mindfulness are key to recognizing and releasing bad moods. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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About

In each episode Adrienne Kirk, a Psychotherapist and Lucy Ranger (was Woods), a Mindfulness Specialist bring some lightness to often difficult subjects, helping to navigate through the messiness of life's challenges. With a real emphasis on how to move towards flourishing, It's Not That Deep, looks at what it really is to be human, and offers some tools and strategies that help to support our wellbeing. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Adrienne Kirk and Lucy Ranger
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    107
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lucy Ranger and Adrienne Kirk
  • Show Website
    It's Not That Deep