It's Not That Deep

Adrienne Kirk and Lucy Ranger
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

In each episode Adrienne Kirk, a Psychotherapist and Lucy Ranger (was Woods), a Mindfulness Specialist bring some lightness to often difficult subjects, helping to navigate through the messiness of life's challenges. With a real emphasis on how to move towards flourishing, It's Not That Deep, looks at what it really is to be human, and offers some tools and strategies that help to support our wellbeing. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 11h ago

    Why do we read into things more than we should?

    In this episode, we explore the very human tendency to read into situations and how our perceptions can distort reality. We have a bias for making assumptions based on our prior experiences with other people, and then do not check them out in the current situation. In fact, we often are not aware that we are applying these assumptions at all. And, of course, there is our inclination to believe everything our brains think – and as we often say in these podcasts, just because we believe something, it doesn’t mean it is true! We go on to discuss strategies for mindful communication, the importance of self-awareness, and how we might foster healthier relationships by questioning assumptions and managing our emotional responses. Key topics Why we read into situations more than we should The impact of personal biases and experiences on perception The importance of curiosity and asking questions Strategies for emotional regulation and staying calm The role of honesty and kindness in communication How to recognise and challenge assumptions The significance of self-awareness and reflection The danger of overthinking and rumination Techniques for mindful listening and speaking Building trust and vulnerability in relationships Takeaways We tend to interpret situations based on our own experiences and assumptions. Questioning our initial thoughts can prevent misunderstandings. Emotional regulation is crucial for effective communication. Practicing mindfulness helps in responding rather than reacting. Being honest and kind in communication fosters trust. Taking a pause before responding can de-escalate conflicts. Recognising that not everything is about us reduces overthinking. Self-awareness and curiosity are key to understanding others. Avoiding overinterpretation requires conscious effort and practice. Trusting others to tell the truth is vital, but we must also be prepared for honesty. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  2. Aug 25

    Why do we get defensive?

    In this episode, we explore the roots of defensiveness, how it manifests in communication, and practical ways to respond more mindfully. Defensiveness probably has its origins in safeguarding us from a fear of being excluded, though it generally has the opposite effect from the one we are after! We are often trying to explain ourselves, to be seen as ‘a good person’ when we judge that we have been misunderstood, and we come over as defensive doing this.   We discuss the impact of childhood experiences, social dynamics, and emotional regulation on our reactions, and towards the end of the episode, we offer insights to foster healthier interactions. Key Topics The human tendency towards defensiveness as a safeguarding mechanism The role of being misunderstood and judged in triggering defensiveness Evolutionary roots of fear of exclusion and outcasting The impact of childhood experiences on adult defensiveness Strategies to respond calmly and reduce conflict in conversations The importance of mindfulness and present-moment awareness in communication How to differentiate between genuine criticism and perceived attack The role of shame and self-perception in defensive reactions Takeaways Defensiveness often stems from a deep-seated fear of being misunderstood or outcast. Responding with curiosity and calmness can prevent escalation of conflicts. Childhood experiences and early relationships heavily influence adult defensive behaviours. Practicing mindfulness helps in recognising and managing defensive reactions. Building awareness of one's emotional triggers is key to healthier communication. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  3. Aug 11

    Why do we think everyone else is more fun than we are?

    In this episode, we explore the intricacies of social anxiety, conversation starters, and the stories we tell ourselves about social interactions. Social anxiety can lead us to believe that everyone else is more interesting than us, but perhaps everyone else also thinks that about themselves. We consider that believing this story can be a way of making it true, by causing us to become tongue-tied in social situations. We also explore our dislike of ‘small talk’, something that’s not particular to just us! We share personal experiences and practical insights on how to navigate social situations with more confidence and authenticity. Takeaways Our perception of others as more interesting is often a story we tell ourselves. Small talk is a necessary but often uncomfortable part of social interactions. Authenticity and self-awareness can help reduce social anxiety. Stories activate parts of us that may not be helpful in social situations. Being kind to ourselves and realistic about social interactions is crucial. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  4. Jul 28

    Why are we affected by other people's emotional state?

    In this episode, we explore why we are so affected by others' emotional states. We discuss how childhood experiences shape our responses, how they may make us more porus to the feelings of others. We investigate practical ways to manage our emotional boundaries, to include ourselves in our beam of care, and to protect ourselves from merging with the feelings of others.  This insightful conversation offers tools for understanding and protecting our emotional well-being in personal and professional relationships. Key Topics Impact of childhood experiences on emotional responses Role of mirror neurons in empathy and emotional contagion Strategies for managing emotional boundaries The influence of neurodivergence on social interactions Practical tips for staying present without being overwhelmed Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  5. Jul 14

    Why Do We Put Off the Hard Things?

    In this episode, we delve into the common challenge of avoiding difficult tasks, and we examine the emotional and practical barriers that keep us stuck. Often, when we find ourselves putting off getting on with the tricky things, we give ourselves a really hard time. However, it’s not as easy as just telling ourselves to get on with it! Being kind to ourselves helps us to recognise that our emotional capacity may be at breaking point. Once we can do that, we may be able to work out what one thing we might be possible to do, rather than thinking we need to complete the whole list. During this episode we share personal stories, psychological insights, and practical strategies to manage overwhelm and foster kindness towards ourselves. Tackling the hard things one step at a time with kindness towards yourself makes a significant difference. Resilience is built in small acts of compassion and realistic planning. Key topics: The complexity behind procrastinating on small but accumulative chores, like managing subscriptions or booking travel. How cognitive load and emotional capacity influence our ability to tackle tasks. We use the metaphor of a "bucket" to describe our mental capacity and how it's overwhelmed by stressors. The role of self-compassion and kindness in overcoming feelings of shame and failure. Practical strategies: breaking down tasks, scheduling focused time, and managing expectations. The impact of age, technology, and environmental factors on our capacity to do hard things. The importance of recognizing and sitting with discomfort rather than avoiding or resisting it. The power of incremental action—doing one thing at a time—and the mental shift from urgency to kindness. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  6. Jun 30

    Why don't we let go of the past?

    In this episode, we explore the complex nature of letting go of the past, the importance of boundaries, trust, and self-compassion. We talk about the difference between forgiving and forgetting. This can be a tricky one as we think that we ‘ought’ to just let go of things. And sometimes that is not in our best interests. We explore whether and when it’s ok to put in boundaries to protect ourself. We also discuss what happens when we hold on to a sense of things being better in the past and how that can affect our relationship with our present life.  We discuss practical ways to navigate emotional baggage, rebuild trust, and find balance between holding on and moving forward. Key topics Why we hold on to past hurts and memories The role of the brain in emotional patterns Boundaries and trust in relationships The difference between forgive and forget Practicing self-compassion and acceptance The impact of nostalgia on present life Techniques for letting go and closure The importance of perspective shift Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  7. Jun 16

    Why do we feel responsible for others' feelings?

    In this episode we explore why we often feel responsible for others' feelings, how boundaries influence our relationships, and discusses strategies for healthier communication and self-care, especially during times of change and grief. We can find it hard to stick to our boundaries because we don’t want to upset other people. This can lead us to feeling that our needs don’t count and we can become frustrated, sad or even angry. However, it can feel risky to change deeply ingrained habits - whether it’s saying no to family demands, setting limits on caring for others after grief, or navigating the complex dance of giving and receiving support. We don’t like to upset others. However we are responsible for our actions, but not how others respond to those actions. And this is important though difficult to remember when we are faced with the distress of others. And generally it’s not an either/or choice, we can take care of our own feelings and also the feelings of others. Key Topics Why we feel responsible for others' feelings The importance of boundaries in relationships Communication strategies for boundary setting Impact of grief and life changes on boundaries Self-care and emotional regulation Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  8. Jun 2

    Why do we get in our own way?

    In this episode we welcome a guest, Lou Collins, who shares her insights on how habits and patterns influence our behaviour. Lou helps women in business stop being their own biggest obstacle. With over 15 years of experience in behaviour change, including in substance use, she now works with the women who've done all the courses, know all the strategies, and are still stuck because the problem was never the strategy. It was the habits and patterns underneath it.    Together we explore the science behind habits, the importance of awareness, and practical strategies for rewiring the brain to overcome self-sabotage and achieve personal growth. Takeaways Awareness of habits is the first step to change. Not all patterns are the same; strategies must be personalised. Reward systems influence habit formation and change. Breaking habits involves rewiring neural pathways. Support and accountability are crucial for lasting change Lou Collins can be contacted here: https://www.instagram.com/theloucollins https://linktr.ee/loucollinscoaching Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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About

In each episode Adrienne Kirk, a Psychotherapist and Lucy Ranger (was Woods), a Mindfulness Specialist bring some lightness to often difficult subjects, helping to navigate through the messiness of life's challenges. With a real emphasis on how to move towards flourishing, It's Not That Deep, looks at what it really is to be human, and offers some tools and strategies that help to support our wellbeing. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Adrienne Kirk and Lucy Ranger
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    111
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lucy Ranger and Adrienne Kirk
  • Show Website
    It's Not That Deep

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