In this episode of In/Fertility in the City, hosts Natalie Sutherland and Somaya Ouazzani sit down with Mel Johnson, known as The Solo Parenthood Coach and founder of The Stork and I. Mel became a solo mum at 37 after years of dating, heartbreak and fearing she’d “run out of time” to become a parent. Mel opens up about: The breakdown of her long-term relationship just before 30, and how that shifted her timeline for motherhoodReaching a point where her fear of missing out on parenthood outweighed her fear of doing it aloneUsing IVF and donor sperm, choosing a clinic-based donor, and why the donor’s letter mattered more than his statsBuilding a support “village”: moving closer to family, leaning on friends, and creating a community of solo mumsTalking to her daughter about being donor-conceived and navigating questions around donors, half-siblings and male role modelsThe reality of solo parenting and work – finances, flexible employers and why support is non-negotiableEthical and legal issues around unregulated sperm donation, HFEA rules and the end of true donor anonymityMel is honest that solo parenthood isn’t for everyone. She shares the questions she believes every prospective solo parent should ask about support, money, mental health and – crucially – what it might mean for their future child. If you’re considering solo motherhood, working with donor gametes, or supporting someone who is, this episode is a nuanced, grounded must-listen. About our guest: Mel Johnson is a solo mum to her seven-year-old daughter, conceived through IVF using donor sperm. After navigating her own journey into solo motherhood, she founded The Stork and I, a platform and community for women exploring or pursuing solo parenthood. As a qualified coach, Mel supports single women from the “Should I do this?” stage through every step of treatment, conception and beyond. In this episode, we discuss: From Plan A to Plan B (or just a different Plan A)The end of Mel’s seven-year relationship just before her 30th birthdayDating through her 30s, the “milestone” pressure of 35, and the desperation that can lead to bad choicesThe moment, at 37, when her fear of missing out on parenthood became stronger than her fear of doing it soloSolo motherhood as a real – and rising – path to parenthoodWhy more single women are choosing to become parents without waiting for “Mr Right”The tension between not wanting to settle in a relationship and not wanting to miss out on childrenHow broader social changes, dating culture and HFEA data reflect this trendCreating a village: doing it alone, but not on your ownMoving from a trendy part of Manchester to Southport to be closer to familyCo-parenting with a “village”: divorced parents who are now heavily involved, her brother, friends and a network of solo mums“Granny Day” – the weekly overnight at Mel’s mum’s house that gives her one night off every weekWhy some solo parents may actually experience more practical support than couplesDonor conception and choosing a sperm donorWhy Mel chose IVF with her own eggs and clinic-based donor spermThe donor questionnaire: physical characteristics, religion, education and the importance of donor lettersWhy the donor’s explanation of why he donated – and his willingness to be contacted in future – was crucial for MelHFEA rules around family limits and how many families can use the same donorKnown vs clinic donors & unregulated donationLegal and emotional risks of unregulated or informal sperm donation When known donation can work well – and when it can go badly wrongFinancial barriers to clinic treatment and why some women feel pushed towards informal routesThe argument for earlier access to donor information and the impact of commercial DNA testing on anonymityTalking to children about donor conception and family structureHow Mel explains her daughter’s conception story in simple, age-appropriate languageWhy she currently avoids using “sibling” as a label for donor-conceived genetic relativesHer daughter’s perspective on family: granny, granddad, mum – and the two cats at the very top of the family treeMale role models: the role Mel’s dad, brother and friends play, and whether “gendered” role models are really necessaryFuture contact with the donorExamples from donor-conceived adults: curiosity, connection, indifference and rejectionManaging expectations around what meeting a donor can realistically look likeMel’s role as a parent: supporting whatever her daughter wants while protecting her from “fairy-tale” expectationsCareer, money and the practical realities of solo parenthoodBeing the only earner – why career stability and an understanding employer are essentialRemote working, flexible hours and how her company supported her return from maternity leaveThe pressure on solo parents being pushed back into the office and long commutesWhy Mel recognises her own privilege in having supportive work and family structuresFertility treatment: Mel’s IVF journeyGoing straight to IVF to maximise chances of successCreating three embryos, experiencing a chemical pregnancy, and then a successful transferThe emotional and ethical weight of deciding what to do with her final embryoIs solo parenthood for you? Mel’s advicePractical support and a genuine “village”Financial reality – both treatment and raising a childMental health and resilienceWhy she has no regrets about her decision – but does regret the years of anxiety about “running out of time”The three pillars she thinks everyone should consider:Questioning whether you truly want children – or whether you feel you “should” because of societal expectationsThe importance of community: connecting with others considering or living solo parenthood through group coaching and peer supportUseful research and lived-experience resources for anyone considering this route -- About King’s Fertility (Sponsor): One of London’s most respected IVF clinics, working with King’s College Hospital and King’s College London. King’s Fertility offers NHS and private patients world-leading research, advanced treatment, and compassionate care. Learn more at kingsfertility.co.uk Connect With Us: Email: info@infertilityinthecity.comInstagram / LinkedIn / X: @infertilityinthecityTikTok: @infertility.in.the.cityYouTube: @InFertilityintheCityWebsite: www.infertilityinthecity.comIf this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star review and hit follow.
