Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Barb Nangle
  • 4.7 (12)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries  coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.   Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in! To learn more about Barb, go to https://higherpowercc.com/

  1. 5d ago

    The Real Reason You Back Down After Setting a Boundary at Work | Episode 369

    Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 369 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about why workplace boundaries often collapse—not because we don’t know what to say, but because of what happens inside us after we say it. Knowing how to set a boundary and being able to stay with it through discomfort are two completely different skills. I explore the sequence that can happen when we set a boundary: external pressure, an internal reaction such as guilt, fear, or self-doubt, and finally the urge to back down in order to make the discomfort go away. I also share a personal experience from my work life that helped me understand how easily I could abandon what I knew about my own capacity when someone else needed something from me. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why another person’s disappointment or pushback can feel like relational dangerHow boundary collapse can provide immediate relief while weakening self-trust over timeThe difference between responding to new information and changing your decision simply to make discomfort stopA practical process of pausing, orienting yourself to the present, and naming what is trueHow to identify what is yours, what isn’t yours, what support you need, and the next smallest safe actionThis episode is a reminder that you don’t have to become comfortable with someone else’s disappointment before you can hold a boundary. The goal isn’t to guarantee that another person will like your boundary—it’s to remain present long enough to make a conscious decision instead of letting anxiety make the decision for you. Because a boundary isn’t only the words you say to another person. It also includes what you do inside yourself after you say it. You don’t break a boundary because you’re weak; sometimes it simply doesn’t yet feel safe inside you to hold it. And that safety can be built. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

  2. Sep 7

    How to Stop Being a Corporate Chameleon and Set Better Boundaries at Work | Episode 368

    Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 368 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about the “corporate chameleon”—the version of ourselves we create at work when we’re constantly adapting to what we think other people need, expect, or want from us. I explore how behaviors like being dependable, accommodating, helpful, and willing to go above and beyond can look like healthy professionalism while actually being driven by fear, insecurity, or the need to prove that we belong. The problem isn’t doing excellent work. It’s using our usefulness as a way to earn our place. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: How being praised for going above and beyond can make unhealthy workplace patterns difficult to recognizeThe difference between healthy adaptability and changing yourself to fit what you think the room requiresWhy taking responsibility for other people’s feelings and work can become a boundary problemHow pretending to know, refusing to ask for help, and trying to be indispensable can create a professional facadeHow to stay connected to yourself while still being dependable, collaborative, and excellent at your workRecovery taught me that I didn’t need to stop being dependable, caring, generous, or willing to take initiative. I needed to disentangle those qualities from fear and stop using excellent work as currency to purchase belonging. Ordinary professional statements:  “I don’t know, but I can find out.” “I need some clarification before I proceed.” “I can help with this part, but I can’t take responsibility for the entire thing.” “I don’t have the capacity to add that unless we change another priority.” “I think that decision belongs with you.” Questions to ask yourself: What does that version of you believe she must never need, admit, say, or feel? What responsibilities are you carrying because you’re afraid of what might happen if you put them down? Where are you trying to appear confident instead of allowing yourself to learn? Where are you being helpful because you genuinely want to help, and where are you making yourself indispensable so you can feel secure? The next time you feel yourself starting to change colors, pause and ask: “What is actually true for me right now?” Healthy professionalism | The corporate chameleon pattern Adapting how you communicate | Changing what you think to match the room Helping a colleague | Carrying their responsibilities Learning what you don’t know | Pretending you already know Using discretion | Maintaining a facade Being dependable | Believing you must be indispensable Asking appropriate questions | Hiding uncertainty to avoid exposure This episode is an invitation to notice who you become when you go to work. You don’t have to become less excellent or stop contributing. The goal is to know that you already belong before you prove anything. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

  3. Aug 31

    Different Doesn’t Mean Worse: How to Learn to Live Where You Are | Episode 367

    Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 367 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring what happens when life takes us somewhere different from where we thought we were going—and why different doesn’t automatically mean worse. Using Emily Perl Kingsley’s Welcome to Holland metaphor as a starting point, I talk about the experience of grieving the life we expected while learning to notice what is possible in the life we actually have. Whether the transition involves a child leaving home, retirement, a relationship ending, a career change, a move, or another unexpected shift, we often see what we’re losing long before we can see what we might gain. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why we so quickly equate change with lossHow uncertainty can make familiar—even unhealthy—patterns feel saferWhy unfamiliar doesn’t mean dangerous, and familiar doesn’t necessarily mean safeHow routines can help us learn to live in a new chapterWhy you can grieve what you left behind while still becoming curious about what comes nextYou can choose a new chapter and still grieve the old one. Grief isn’t evidence that you made the wrong decision, and discomfort isn’t necessarily evidence that something has gone wrong. Sometimes it’s simply what it feels like to be somewhere you haven’t learned how to live yet. This episode is an invitation to resist deciding too quickly that your new reality is worse than the one you imagined. You can plan to go to Italy, land in Holland instead, miss Italy, but still notice the tulips in Holland, and love them too. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

  4. Aug 24

    Why Transitions Change How You See Yourself (and Why That’s a Good Thing) | Episode 366

    Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 366 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about why some of the biggest transitions in our lives also become turning points in how we see ourselves. Transitions aren’t just about changing routines, schedules, jobs, relationships, or where we live. They can change our identity. In this episode, I reflect on several transitions in my own life—from graduate school and moving to New Haven to recovery—and what each one taught me about who I was becoming. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why transitions are really about identity, not just routinesHow a perceived lack of ability can sometimes be a mismatch of values insteadThe different ways recovery changed how I saw myselfHow boundaries reinforce the person you’re becoming and build self-trustWhy you don’t need to have a perfect plan during a transition—you need to stay connected to yourselfI also share how my upcoming transition into working part-time while continuing to run my coaching business is making me think differently about identity, routines, and what it means to become someone new. This episode is a reminder that transitions can reveal strengths you didn’t know you had, show you identities you’ve outgrown, and help you discover that something you thought you wanted may not actually be what you want. So if you’re in the middle of a transition right now, maybe the question isn’t simply, “How do I get through this?” Maybe the better question is: “Who is this transition inviting me to become?” Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

  5. Aug 18

    From Fragmented to Flow: How Letting Go Became My Business and My Life with Guest Shaun Enright | Episode 365

    Send us Fan Mail This is my 365th episode! That means you could literally listen to one episode per day for an entire year! In this week’s episode 365 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m joined by Shaun Enright, who shares his experience, strength, and hope of recovery and how learning to let go changed both his life and his business. Shaun shares how he went from running a successful seven-figure business while struggling behind the scenes, to recognizing that alcohol was a problem, entering 12-step recovery, and learning to surrender control. He also explains how those lessons eventually became the foundation for the work he now does helping entrepreneurs and professionals let go of stress, fear, and the need to control everything. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Shaun’s journey from outward success and inner struggle into 12-step recoveryWhy letting go of control and surrender became such an important part of his healingHow his relationship with a higher power changed his understanding of responsibility and controlHow recovery helped him rebuild his business and create a new life centered around helping othersThe “FLOW” framework he developed to help people feel, acknowledge, choose, and let go in moments of stressShaun also shares how he went from being deeply in debt and trying to carry everything himself to rebuilding his finances, creating a new business, and building a family life he describes as wonderful. This episode is ultimately about hope. Shaun has lived through the difficult parts he talks about, and his story is a reminder that even when you can't see a way forward, change is possible. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE Shaun Enright, Coach and Podcaster, Founder and CEO of Zenright Life. Shaun helps founder-led service businesses turn selling into a calm, consistent growth system—so revenue becomes predictable without pressure, gimmicks, or chasing. Listen to Shaun’s podcast “Drop the Stress, Not the Ball” Follow Shaun on LinkedIn On Instagram On Facebook on his Zenright Living page Other links we discussed: NLP - Neuro-linguistic Programming info David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. is the person who created the Levels of Vibration by Type of Emotion graphic Shaun and I discussed. CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    From Fragmented to Flow: How Letting Go Became My Business and My Life with Guest Shaun Enright | Episode 365

  6. Aug 10

    How to Create New Routines Without Setting Yourself Up to Fail | Episode 364

    Send us Fan Mail As summer winds down, many of us start imagining the organized, disciplined person we're finally going to become in the fall. The problem is that we often create new routines for an ideal version of ourselves at the exact moment our lives are getting busier. When we can't maintain the plan, we don't question the routine. We question ourselves. This week, on episode 364 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I'm talking about how to create new routines without setting yourself up to fail! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I'm sharing why routines can become another form of self-abandonment when they ignore your actual energy, capacity, responsibilities, and circumstances. I'm also sharing what happened when I stopped trying to force myself through an ideal strength-training plan and started with two minutes a day instead. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why routines often fail when you create them for the person you wish you were instead of the person who will actually have to live them.How unrealistic expectations can turn a supportive routine into another form of self-abandonment and self-judgment.What my resistance to a full workout taught me about treating resistance as information instead of proof that I lacked discipline.Why starting with two minutes and gradually ramping up can build a routine you are genuinely willing and able to continue.How self-trust helps you adjust a routine, make room for it, and begin again without treating the change as failure.A routine is supposed to support the life you're actually living. It is not supposed to become another way to override yourself. Choose one routine that would genuinely help you, make the first version smaller than you think it should be, and give yourself time to ramp up. If it doesn't work, you haven't failed. You received information, and you can adjust, simplify, and begin again. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

  7. Aug 3

    How to Use Life Transitions to Become Who You Want to Be | Episode 363

    Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 363 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about life transitions and why the biggest change often isn’t what’s happening around you—it’s the shift in your identity. Whether you’re becoming an empty nester, changing careers, retiring, ending a relationship, or entering a new season of life, transitions often invite you to ask, “Who am I now?” In this episode, I explore a different question that can be even more helpful: “Who do I want to be?” Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why life transitions are often identity transitionsHow boundaries and routines help shape the person you’re becomingThe difference between creating routines for productivity and creating routines that support the life you wantWhy approaching new routines as experiments can make change feel more manageableQuestions to help you move intentionally into your next season of lifeI also share examples from coaching clients, including an empty nester navigating a new stage of motherhood and a professional experimenting with focused work time instead of reacting to email all day. This episode is a reminder that you don’t need to have your entire future figured out. You simply need something meaningful to reach toward—a value, a relationship, or a routine that helps you become more grounded in the person you want to be. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

  8. Jul 27

    Why Making Decisions Feels So Unsafe and How to Trust Yourself Anyway | Episode 362

    Send us Fan Mail In this week’s episode 362 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about why so many people struggle to make decisions—and why the real issue often isn’t a lack of information. It’s a lack of internal safety. Many of us spend hours weighing options, asking for advice, researching every possibility, and trying to predict the outcome before making a choice. But no decision-making method can guarantee that no one will be disappointed, that you'll never regret your choice, or that life will unfold exactly as you hope. This episode explores what it means to trust yourself even when certainty isn’t possible. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why decision-making is often an internal safety issue rather than a lack of informationThe difference between reflection and ruminationHow self-trust means staying on your own side after making a decisionWhy you're allowed to change your mind as new information becomes availablePractical questions to help you make decisions without abandoning yourselfI also revisit several ideas from Episode 171 on decision-making and explain how my understanding of self-trust has evolved over the years. This episode is a reminder that the goal isn't to make the perfect decision. The goal is to become someone who can stay connected to yourself through uncertainty, learn from what unfolds, and make adjustments when needed. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast New to my work: START HERE CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

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Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries  coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.   Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in! To learn more about Barb, go to https://higherpowercc.com/

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