The Schmear Podcast

The Schmear Podcast
  • 4.5 (8)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to The Schmear, a podcast hosted by Alyssa Burns & Hailey Wilson. We're cousins who grew up together & after many failed YouTube channels later, have decided to make a podcast to talk about all things life, family, pop culture, corporate America, and more. Join us every week as we cackle & chive about the latest and greatest in our lives (and yours!)

  1. Jul 1

    Can I Pull You for a Chat?

    We're officially halfway through the year (how did that happen?!), so we're catching you up on everything we've been up to—from our Denver trip and Alyssa's embarrassing airplane story to Fourth of July plans and what we're looking forward to this summer. We also play a chaotic round of Would You Rather, reminisce about why summer as a kid was unmatched, and share all our latest pop culture obsessions, including our full Love Island brain rot, Summer House drama, movies, music, sports, and more. Grab a snack and come hang out with us! ☀️🎙️🏝️

  2. Jun 1

    S4E7: BottleRock, Bird Attacks & Bad Decisions

    Big personal growth this month: Aly survived a 3-day music festival. Bad news? A bird literally took possession of Hailey's front door and forced her into witness protection. We're unpacking BottleRock, kitten chaos, Demi Lovato, insane NBA fans, childhood status symbols, summer TV binges, and the cultural emergency that is Drake releasing THREE albums at once. Plus, is restarting Glee a sign of emotional healing or impending disaster?

  3. May 1

    S4E6: Klay Thompson, Explain Yourself (Feat. Megan Thee Stallion)

    This week: I scream over a mystery animal on my car, realize it’s basically May already, and flex my proudest 2026 achievement....my grass. Then we spiral into iconic cheating scandals (because… what are these men doing?? YES we are talking about you Klay!!!), put celebs and trends ON TRIAL, and debate reboots, crying videos, podcasts, and biopics. Plus: what we’re watching, listening to, and obsessing over. Unhinged. Opinionated. Necessary.

  4. Apr 1

    S4E5: Traumatized by Easter Ham

    This week on The Schmear, cousins Alyssa & Hailey reunite post-wedding (we love love!! 💍) and immediately dive into the real issues: why Easter food is actually foul, whether complaining ever gets you anywhere, and the shocking tale of a nail salon crush gone VERY wrong (@Hailey you good???) We’re talking calorie deficits (or lack thereof), and a Bagel Bite segment packed with hot takes that might ruin friendships, like, are weddings overrated? Is it rude to regift something you'll never use?? And do we actually believe everything happens for a reason… be honest. Plus, our latest Eyes & Ears obsessions: emotional Hannah Montana nostalgia, chaotic TV returns *cough cough* Taylor Frankie Paul is no longer The Bachelorette, movies we’re already obsessed with, and why March Madness brackets are all fun and games (until you realize money is on the line) Let's chive! 🥯✨

  5. Mar 1

    S4E4: Finales, Fame, and Future Apology Videos

    On this week’s episode of The Schmear, cousins Hailey and Alyssa say goodbye to February and spiral straight into hot-girl spring energy ☀️ We’re breaking down the couples fight that broke out at Hailey’s pickleball championship (unhinged), and asking the real question: if we woke up tomorrow with 10 million followers… how long until we’re canceled? Old tweets? Family drama? PR nightmares?? Be honest. Plus: Traitors, Survivor 50, chaotic Love Is Blind, Taylor Frankie Paul’s Bachelorette era, Ryan Gosling on SNL, and why Bruno Mars lowkey snapped. Press play before your Facebook memories resurface. 💀

  6. Feb 1

    S4E3: We’re Not Beating the Bad Outfit Era Allegations

    Florida reunions, fashion regrets, and pop culture chaos 🚨 This week on The Schmear, Alyssa and Hailey recap a mini Florida reunion for Lindsey’s bridal shower, unpack their worst outfit eras, and argue over what’s overrated vs. overhated (celebs, shows, trends...no one is safe). Plus: accidentally watching Skyscraper and witnessing history, spiraling over Traitors (#JusticeForLisaRinna), celebrating Tell Me Lies being OUT, new Queer Eye, Grammys-eve chaos, and why we’re on the brink of a legendary music year. Unhinged, opinionated, and very cousin-coded. 🎧✨

  7. Jan 1

    S4E2: 2026 Is a Fever Dream

    On this future-forward episode of The Schmear, Hailey Wilson and Alyssa Burns spread the cream cheese on everything new, shiny, and slightly unhinged coming our way in 2026. We’re talking TV throwbacks rising from the ashes (yes, Scrubs is scrubbing back in and Malcolm in the Middle is very much having a middle-age moment), plus rumors of the Spice Girls spicing up Las Vegas with a possible Sphere residency (zig-a-zig-ah, indeed). And because we can’t help ourselves, we close things out with a totally unofficial, extremely unserious mock NBA draft featuring our favorite players, scouting reports based purely on vibes. It’s nostalgia, news, and nonsense, all perfectly schmear-ed together. 🥯🏀✨

  8. 12/01/2025

    S4E1: Why We Stopped Talking for 672 Days

    Did you miss us? Because we missed you.... 672 days later Alyssa and Hailey are filling YOU in on The Bilson Family LORE....We catch you up on all the things you've missed since Feb 2024. Between Dancing With The Stars, Wicked 2: For Good, and just good 'ole fashion memories with cousins, you are in for a treat with this reunion episode. Let's chive!

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4.5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

Welcome to The Schmear, a podcast hosted by Alyssa Burns & Hailey Wilson. We're cousins who grew up together & after many failed YouTube channels later, have decided to make a podcast to talk about all things life, family, pop culture, corporate America, and more. Join us every week as we cackle & chive about the latest and greatest in our lives (and yours!)

Information

  • Creator
    The Schmear Podcast
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    60
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © The Schmear Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Schmear Podcast