Five-a-side

Five-aside
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This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

  1. Who Knows Ball? Relegation Scrap Survival Mode 🥶⚽

    16H AGO

    Who Knows Ball? Relegation Scrap Survival Mode 🥶⚽

    The Five Aside boys enter the football knowledge trenches with the ultimate Premier League relegation game. From Ipswich and Sunderland to Nottingham Forest and QPR, it turns into pure chaos as heads start spinning, answers get repeated, and “I already said that!” becomes the phrase of the episode 😭 There’s pressure, shameless cheating allegations, vintage Premier League nostalgia, and one of the scrappiest title races you’ll ever witness. If you know your Barclays heritage, this one is for you. Who actually knows ball? 👀 Transcript source: Timestamps 0:00 – Intro to the Relegation Game 1:05 – Rules explained: 39 relegated Premier League clubs 2:00 – Fast start: Ipswich, Wigan, Middlesbrough & more 3:45 – Sunderland, Blackburn & West Ham enter the chat 4:30 – Chaos begins over repeated answers 😭 5:20 – Hull City, Crystal Palace & Wolves confusion 6:40 – Brentford guess gets instantly packed up 7:35 – Burnley controversy 👀 8:30 – Sheffield derby knowledge battle 9:10 – “Man City got relegated?!” shock moment 10:00 – Timer pressure starts frying brains 11:00 – Bournemouth clutch answer 12:00 – Everton debate sparks confusion 13:20 – Arsenal title-race analogy during the game 😂 14:45 – Aston Villa & QPR save the day 16:00 – Lincoln and York City desperation era 17:10 – Oldham Athletic deep-cut pull 🤯 18:30 – Final scramble for forgotten clubs 19:10 – Nottingham Forest & Norwich somehow forgotten 20:00 – Full answers revealed + outro banter

    21 min
  2. Forgive Nessy: Arsenal Survive, City Stalk & Bruno vs Rice Gets Spicy

    1D AGO

    Forgive Nessy: Arsenal Survive, City Stalk & Bruno vs Rice Gets Spicy

    The lads break down Arsenal’s chaotic late win over West Ham, the set-piece controversy, City’s ruthless chase, Chelsea and Liverpool’s mid-off at Anfield, United scraping past Sunderland, and a heated Bruno Fernandes vs Declan Rice PFA debate. Plus: Mother’s Day love and premium football banter. Timestamps 00:00 – Arsenal fans survive the stress 02:00 – Fernandez miss, Raya save, late-game chaos 09:00 – Ben White injury and Arteta’s risky Rice experiment 12:00 – Zubimendi exposed by Premier League intensity 17:30 – Odegaard and Havertz change the game 19:15 – SofaScore spoilers and VAR pain 20:45 – Arsenal set-piece goal controversy 30:30 – Are Arsenal gaming corners or just smarter? 36:30 – Man City beat Brentford and keep chasing 38:00 – Doku, money, and City’s ridiculous squad depth 45:20 – Chelsea vs Liverpool: mid-table energy, big drama 51:45 – Slot criticism and Liverpool’s bad substitutions 56:30 – Chelsea pride, Mikel’s comments, and Colwill’s return 01:06:00 – Man United vs Sunderland reaction 01:12:00 – Carrick stabilising United? 01:18:00 – Bruno Fernandes vs Declan Rice PFA debate 01:33:30 – Mother’s Day shoutouts and closing chaos

    1h 36m
  3. El Plástico & Title Races: Ass Cheeks at Stamford Bridge 😭

    4D AGO

    El Plástico & Title Races: Ass Cheeks at Stamford Bridge 😭

    Arsenal fans are already planning the parade, Chelsea fans are fighting for survival, and Real Madrid are apparently one training session away from a WWE tag match. This week on Five Aside, the boys preview a MASSIVE football weekend — from Arsenal vs West Ham and the Premier League title race drama, to Liverpool vs Chelsea aka El Plástico, plus a chaotic El Clasico breakdown featuring Mbappé drama, Barca vibes football, and Madrid dressing-room civil war allegations. There’s also love for Michael Carrick’s turnaround at United, conference league slander, title-race paranoia, and enough football Twitter energy to fuel an entire timeline. Comment your predictions below 👀 Timestamps 00:00 Intro 00:30 EPL Weekend Preview Begins 01:20 Arsenal vs West Ham & Title Race Confidence 03:00 Chelsea vs Liverpool “El Plástico” Preview 05:00 Michael Carrick’s United Revival 12:20 Forest, Villa & Top Four/Relegation Talk 13:50 Liverpool vs Chelsea Predictions 18:30 Arsenal Confidence Hits Dangerous Levels 23:20 Can Brentford Stop Man City? 26:00 Five Aside Watchalong Announcement 29:20 El Clasico Nostalgia & Madrid vs Barca Rivalry 32:20 Real Madrid Dressing Room Chaos 39:00 Barcelona Vibes vs Madrid Drama 41:40 El Clasico Predictions 44:45 Arsenal vs PSG Hype Levels 45:10 Outro

    46 min
  4. 20 Years Later: Arsenal Are Back on Europe’s Biggest Stage

    5D AGO

    20 Years Later: Arsenal Are Back on Europe’s Biggest Stage

    Arsenal are heading back to the Champions League final for the first time in 20 years — and the Five Aside crew had plenty to say about it. From Saka’s starboy performance to Arteta outclassing Simeone, the boys break down Arsenal’s mature win over Atletico and what it means for long-suffering Gunners fans. Then it’s over to PSG vs Bayern, where Luis Enrique’s machine-like PSG side delivered another cold, clinical performance. The panel debates whether PSG are officially the best team in the world right now, why Bayern got tactically cooked, and whether Arsenal actually stand a chance in the final. Expect banter, tactical breakdowns, football heritage, and some outrageous final predictions. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro & Arsenal fans finally lose their minds 01:30 – Arsenal reach their first UCL final since 2006 03:30 – The pain of being an Arsenal fan for 20 years 06:10 – Arsenal vs Atletico tactical breakdown 08:50 – Why Atletico never really threatened Arsenal 09:30 – Saka’s impact and injury concerns 12:20 – Arteta outsmarts Simeone 15:20 – Gabriel earns world-class shouts 16:50 – Atletico disappointment & Arsenal celebrations 20:00 – Saka, Gyökeres & Arsenal’s final hopes 22:30 – Which final opponent did Arsenal actually want? 26:30 – PSG vs Bayern second leg reaction 28:00 – Why Luis Enrique’s PSG are terrifying 30:40 – Kvaratskhelia & PSG’s attacking quality 32:30 – Are PSG the best team in the world right now? 37:00 – Bayern’s defensive mistakes exposed 41:40 – Kane scores too late for Bayern 43:20 – Arsenal vs PSG final predictions 50:30 – Comparing this PSG side to prime Barça 53:30 – Final score predictions 55:40 – Outro

    57 min
  5. Blue Is the Warmest Colour: Chelsea’s Cold Reality, Doku’s Fire & Arsenal’s Destiny Call

    MAY 5

    Blue Is the Warmest Colour: Chelsea’s Cold Reality, Doku’s Fire & Arsenal’s Destiny Call

    Dalu and AK Haruna break down a chaotic weekend of football. Chelsea’s collapse gets a full post-mortem—boardroom chaos, poor recruitment, and players not stepping up. Then it’s over to the title race, where Doku goes full demon mode but Everton still snatch a huge result, putting Arsenal firmly in control. The boys also debate whether this Arsenal side finally has the mentality to deliver, before diving into Champions League predictions—can Arsenal handle Atletico’s dark arts, and will Bayern or PSG come out on top? Banter, pain, and bold predictions—this one hits everything. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro — a good Monday for some, not all 02:30 – AK’s Chelsea eulogy — Maresca, the board & the downfall 07:00 – Palmer under the microscope 10:00 – The ex-City player curse — Grealish, Zinchenko, Palmer 13:00 – The players have to own this too 16:00 – Youth & inexperience — Chelsea’s core problem 20:00 – The Boehly “pure profit” model explained 28:00 – Final take on Chelsea’s season 33:00 – Arsenal’s title charge — is it finally happening? 38:00 – City vs Everton — Doku chaos & the turning point 44:00 – Everton flowers — Gana & Barry step up 52:00 – Foden watch — from PFA to problems 01:02:00 – Arsenal vs Atletico — predictions 01:10:00 – Bayern vs PSG — tactical breakdown 01:18:00 – Outro — reactions coming midweek

    1h 19m
  6. Mainoo Event: United Slap Liverpool, Carrick Gets the Keys & Saka's Back to Break Hearts

    MAY 4

    Mainoo Event: United Slap Liverpool, Carrick Gets the Keys & Saka's Back to Break Hearts

    Temi, Chidalu, AK and guest Haruna break down a massive weekend — Mainoo signs his contract and immediately puts in a shift, United dismantle a depleted Liverpool, the Carrick debate heats up, and Arsenal fans are daring to dream again with Saka back to his terrifying best. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro & good vibes 01:30 – Kobbie Mainoo signs his contract 06:00 – Should Mainoo make England’s squad? 09:30 – Man United vs Liverpool — match ratings 14:00 – The Amad problem & self-inflicted goals 19:00 – Why Liverpool are in trouble 22:00 – Bundesliga players in the Premier League — do they work? 28:00 – Premier League vs Europe — who’s actually better? 33:00 – Chelsea’s top four chances — math vs reality 38:00 – Should Carrick get a permanent contract? 45:00 – 4-3-3 vs Carrick’s own system — what should he do? 52:00 – Building team chemistry — the Fergie way 1:05:00 – Arsenal vs Fulham — Saka is back 1:17:00 – Can Arsenal win the title? 1:37:00 – Moment of the weekend & outro

    1h 42m
  7. Pressure is Privilege: EPL Weekend Preview

    MAY 1

    Pressure is Privilege: EPL Weekend Preview

    The boys are back previewing a massive Premier League weekend—and it’s pure chaos. Arsenal fans are battling title-pressure nerves, United fans are dreaming (again), and Chelsea are… finally showing signs of life? From bold scoreline predictions to heated debates on “Premier League legends,” this episode is packed with banter, hot takes, and just enough delusion to keep things spicy. Plus: Can Everton actually do Arsenal a favor? Don’t hold your breath… Timestamps 00:00 – Intro & weekend preview setup 00:45 – Arsenal vs Fulham: “Pressure is privilege”… or panic? 03:30 – Are Arsenal players on the brink of legendary status? 06:00 – Score predictions: Arsenal vs Fulham 07:30 – Aston Villa vs Tottenham: Injuries, relegation fears & no firepower 10:00 – Spurs struggles & why Villa should cruise 13:30 – Final predictions: Villa vs Spurs 14:00 – Man United vs Liverpool: Delusion vs inconsistency 16:00 – Bruno, Mainoo & Casemiro appreciation 18:30 – Liverpool doubts + Salah absence impact 20:00 – Predictions: United vs Liverpool 23:00 – Chelsea vs Nottingham Forest: Chaos vs clarity 26:00 – Chelsea dressing room vibes & tactical hopes 30:00 – All-time Garnacho rant 😂 34:00 – Final predictions: Chelsea vs Forest 37:00 – Man City vs Everton: Arsenal fans PRAYING 39:00 – Can Everton actually stop City? 42:00 – Final predictions & title race implications 44:00 – Outro: Like, subscribe & join the banter

    45 min
  8. Nine-Goal Madness & Tactical Therapy: From Bayern-P$G Chaos to Arsenal’s Chess Match

    APR 30

    Nine-Goal Madness & Tactical Therapy: From Bayern-P$G Chaos to Arsenal’s Chess Match

    This episode is pure football whiplash. The boys break down the absolute madness between Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain—a 5-4 thriller that had everything: chaos, brilliance, and zero defending (or was it?). Then it’s a hard pivot to the tactical trenches as Arsenal vs Atlético Madrid delivers a cagey, high-IQ battle. From Enrique vs Pep debates to penalty controversies, second-leg predictions, and Arsenal catching stray bullets (again), this one’s banter-heavy but insight-loaded. Chaos vs control. Vibes vs structure. Pick your fighter. Timestamps 00:00 – Cold open chaos & intro 01:00 – Bayern vs PSG: “Best game ever?” debate 03:00 – Are defenders actually to blame? 05:30 – Individual brilliance: Diaz, Olise, Kane, Kvaratskhelia hype 08:00 – Goalkeeper slander & retirement talks 10:00 – Second leg predictions: more chaos or calm? 12:00 – Enrique philosophy vs Pep legacy debate 16:00 – Is football becoming boring… or evolving? 20:00 – Tactical breakdown: Arsenal vs Atlético 24:00 – First half control vs second half chaos 28:00 – Key players: Griezmann masterclass & midfield battles 32:00 – Penalty controversies (VAR doing cardio again) 40:00 – Arsenal pressure & mentality concerns 45:00 – Second leg predictions: who goes through? 50:00 – Can Arsenal win it all? Reality check 55:00 – Closing banter & outro

    1h 16m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

Information

  • Creator
    Five-aside
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    107
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chukwudalu Fab-Ukozor 2022
  • Show Website
    Five-a-side