Worthless Clowns

Worthless Clowns
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

a podcast celebrating life's embarrassing moments, hosted by Ali O'Neil & Brittany Cardwell

  1. 20h ago

    MY GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T KNOW MALE ACTORS

    We hype up pre-show by beating our chests, power posing, and self affirming. Brittany struggles to understand the pain scale and telling two famous old men apart. Ali gets high for her IUD insertion and is scared of who she will become if she starts wearing hats. A woman with loose butt cheeks gets chased down by the French police for trying to put in a tampon. Memories of overblown Ted Talks, misidentifying gar, and Siegfried and Roy.   We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube! theme music by Adam Turay

  2. Sep 3

    YOU GOT BIG EYES

    A man confronts Brittany about her big huge hotdog eyes. Ali chokes up around a band she just got into, and keeps waking up to a country song about boobs.  A listener accidentally breaks into her boss’s house and makes a really big mess. Memories of Korn breakdowns, horse plates for dad, and tic tac toe. We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube! theme music by Adam Turay

  3. Aug 27

    GUYS LOVE PIXELS

    It’s Ali’s one year anniversary of getting hit by a car! And she’s ready to get hit again! Brittany finally realizes what water and addresses are for. A listener too desperate to prove she can pee ends up looking very suspicious at her drug test. Memories of men loving pixels, embroidery addiction, and Ray Mysterio.  We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube! theme music by Adam Turay

  4. Aug 20

    HIS WEAPON WAS HIS LACK OF HYGIENE

    We go to Chicago! Ali’s shrimp knowledge is on full display at the aquarium, and a crab is doing Brittany’s physical therapy exercises. A listener plays metaphorical poker with an itchy man on the bus. Memories of 9/11 weddings, composing songs for Betty the dog, and Dinosaur Club.  We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube! theme music by Adam Turay

  5. Aug 13

    THIS B**CH LOVES ULTRASOUNDS

    It’s Valentines Day (we posted this very very late!). Brittany strips to Chop Suey and makes a fool of herself during an invasive ultrasound. Ali goes absolutely nuts with her food processor and accidentally offends her tattoo artist. A listener unwittingly roasts a man dressed like he’s in Scooby Doo. Memories of fresh water fish pamphlets, dad’s horse plates, and microbiome transfers.  We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube! theme music by Adam Turay

  6. Aug 6

    I LOVE A HARD-A** REGIONAL WOMAN

    We’re back from a long hiatus!!! A lot has happened in the world of Ali’s fish tank. We determine the hottest lions of Lion King, and prep for our photoshoot by doing crafts and watching Adventure Time. A listener attempts to rollerblade with clenched cheeks in a desperate search for the toilet. Memories of a dad testing a Byrna Launcher on himself, the best pogs and slammers, and the Aladdin soundtrack.  We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Rate us!! And check us out on YouTube! theme music by Adam Turay

  7. 10/17/2025

    UPDATES + BRITTANY'S SPECIAL IS COMING OUT!

    We've missed you all!!! We've got pod updates for you! PLUS: Brittany's special is out this Tuesday October 21st 8pm (EST) on her YouTube! Watch it, share it, comment with clown emojis, tell your friends! And if you haven't subscribed yet, do it now: https://www.youtube.com/@brittonuscardwell Thank you all for listening and we'll be back soon!

  8. 09/02/2025

    I HAVE A PHD IN TONY HAWK PRO SKATER

    Ali unloads on an unsuspecting man about Tony Hawk Pro Skater, CYK, and Bam Margera. Brittany gets kidnapped at a Vegas bachelorette party by a Seinfeld enthusiast. A man tries to convince a woman he’s “normal” by jumping into a sprinkler. Memories of phd balance testing strips, embarrassing pillow talk, and The Joker. Brittany’s special is coming out SOON!!! Look out for it on her Youtube, and subscribe if you haven’t already!  For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at worthlessclownspod@gmail.com theme music by Adam Turay

See All (142)

5
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

a podcast celebrating life's embarrassing moments, hosted by Ali O'Neil & Brittany Cardwell

Information

  • Creator
    Worthless Clowns
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    142
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Worthless Clowns
  • Show Website
    Worthless Clowns

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