Into Ambivalenne

Ambivalenne
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A forty year woman stands at the crossroads of her life. Travel alongside her as she audio-journeys into an unknown future.

  1. 01/11/2024

    14. What Does It Mean to Be Free?

    Over a couple of days of walking in stormy weather, visiting the river, and playing at my piano - I record myself riffing on the topic of freedom and exploring what a right relationship to constraints and limits might be. I share a song I wrote about breaking out of “learned helplessness” and also share my reaction to a recent interview with the author of “Determined” - as heard on the podcast of Theories of Everything.

  2. 12/01/2023

    13. Roses and Worms

    I jumped back into my audio journey after taking a nine month break. I was in dire need of a companion today as I faced down my messy basement, and the feelings of shame and overwhelm that predictably show up whenever I am down there. And guess what else showed up? Roses and worms. Not the companions I expected, but I will take them!

  3. 04/13/2023

    12. Our Lady In Waiting …And Of Resurrection

    In this episode I explore the inexplicable math of 1 big juice life = many small deaths along the way. Scenes from the film My Neighbor Tortoro come up, along with a Mother Mary oracle card, plus more details about that recently unearthed journal I wrote at 17. I am shocked to see my young self speaking in such strong “Christianese” and my adult self has some thoughts on the “I’m a bad human” vs “I’ve had a bad day” paradigm that began shifting after leaving home.

  4. 04/06/2023

    11. Making Claims

    Sitting in the car at my son’s soccer practice I hit record: I talk about coming across a journal I wrote the summer I turned 18, and the feelings that came up when I learned that my mom recently read it before giving it to me. Thoughts around privacy, personal space, and sovereignty come up, and I reflect on the practice of “making claims” and how I was groomed to believe this was a selfish and unrelational thing to do.

  5. 03/30/2023

    10. Yin Yang Jung

    In this episode I give updates on: my recent gym membership, a music contest, and a mediation training that got cancelled. I also reflect on how Yin dominant Ive become since motherhood, and how I’m simultaneously 1) desiring more Yang in my life 2) appreciating my Yin even if the larger culture isn’t, 3) how my juiciest life moments are when both energies are present and working in tandem, for example - last night’s hot spring adventure!

  6. 03/15/2023

    9. Good Inside

    Is Spring actually here? Glimmers of new life are suddenly, and oh so subtly, emerging in the barren landscape - both within me and out. A sudden upsurge of energy is rippling across multiple domains of my life at once - and think a song is partially responsible. I sing it at the end.

  7. 03/09/2023 ·  Bonus

    8. I Will Still Be Singing

    This short journal entry is a gasp of breath in a season of more sinking than swimming. This a claim. A promise. A blessing.

  8. 02/08/2023

    7. Lake of Snow

    I begin this episode beseeching the four directions, and the above and below, to lend me their wisdom and energy for the journey ahead. The most amazing synchronicity unfolds and I find myself encountering both a figurative and literal lake of snow - and the lesson leaves an imprint.

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About

A forty year woman stands at the crossroads of her life. Travel alongside her as she audio-journeys into an unknown future.

Information

  • Creator
    Ambivalenne
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2024
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Ambivalenne
  • Show Website
    Into Ambivalenne