School of Self-Worth

Nicole Tsong

School of Self-Worth is a purposeful podcast and community for the ambitious woman who knows she is worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we redefine success, set and sustain boundaries, and reclaim your self-worth. Hosted by Nicole Tsong, bestselling author, former journalist, and work/life balance coach, who helps professional women live an aligned life. We will have diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and yourself every day. Every single episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered, with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

  1. 4d ago

    Ep 150: Balancing Ambition and Family as an Asian American Woman with Cloe Zeng

    In this episode of School of Self Worth, I talk with Cloe Zeng, Chief Growth Officer at the Gottman Institute and former senior leader at Microsoft. If you're the reliable one, the one who gets it done, and you still find out about high-impact decisions that affect you after they're made, this conversation is for you. Cloe was raised to believe her work would speak for itself, and what she did after she discovered it didn’t. She talks about how she learned to advocate for herself and the detailed steps that actually helped her rise as a leader.  We also talk about: Turning down a fast-track promotion. She did it for her teenagers' stability, and still got promoted.Asking for help. Most of us never saw our parents do it. Cloe explains how to build a personal board of directors.The real barrier. When she suggested a colleague for a senior role, the colleague said she didn't see anyone who looked like her at that level. She applied and was the top candidate.Presence. Her daughter asked, "Mom, can I talk to you for a second?" Cloe closed the laptop and they went to watch the sunset. That's what the Gottman Institute calls a bid for connection.In the conversation with Cloe, learn about why you don't have to choose between ambition and family, and why you become a better leader when you don’t. If you know you’re likely giving away your authority and don't know precisely when it’s happening, the Asian Authority Audit is a personalized session to help you identify that moment. Limited spots available every month, apply here.  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Balancing Ambition and Family Is Possible [10:11]  Career Growth Is a Lifelong Journey, Not a Single Track [13:16] The Power of Presence: Responding to Bids for Connection [15:49]  Self-Advocacy and Intentional Career Conversations [25:11]  The Importance of Imagination and Representation in Leadership [33:01] Building Emotional Bank Accounts in All Relationships [41:41]Guest Bio: Cloe Zeng is the Chief Growth Officer at The Gottman Institute, where she works to bring research-based relationship and well-being tools to more people and organizations around the world. Before joining Gottman, she spent 10 years at Microsoft in global business and leadership roles and was recently recognized as an OPULIS #empowHER50 honoree, celebrating 50 women connected to Microsoft’s 50-year history.  She has also been deeply involved in education and community service and is passionate about supporting women, families, and the next generation. As a mother of two, Cloe brings a deeply personal perspective to the intersection of leadership, motherhood, cultural identity and relationships. She believes that how we lead others is deeply connected to how we understand and value ourselves.  ___________________________________________________________________ If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and cloezeng so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Cloe Zeng:  www.linkedin.com/in/cloezeng/gottman.com www.gottman.com/qr-code-love-notes-free-download/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  2. Sep 23

    149: #1 Leadership Lie Asian Americans Didn’t Learn Growing Up

    Today, I’m talking about one of the biggest career myths many Asian American women grow up believing: your work will speak for itself. And honestly, it’s not bad advice. It probably helped you get pretty far. You worked hard. You delivered. You followed through. You became the person people could count on. But at a certain point, that strategy can stop working. You can have the title, the experience, and the track record, and still find yourself being treated like the person who executes rather than the person who leads. In this episode, I unpack why this happens, how cultural conditioning can reinforce the pattern, and why continuing to prove yourself through more work isn't necessarily going to change how people see you. Because getting promoted isn't just about doing good work. It's about knowing when to step forward, how to make your judgment visible, and how to recognize the moments that can change how you're perceived. I also share a simple way to start a conversation with your boss about your professional growth, so you're not waiting around hoping someone notices that you're ready for more. If you're tired of doing more without seeing the career movement you want, I invite you to apply for an Asian Authority Audit and connect with me on Instagram. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  The No. 1 Leadership Lie for Asian Americans  [00:01:34]How School Conditioning Influences Career Habits [00:02:13]Cultural Conditioning and Outsourced Motivation [00:03:51]The Pitfall of Being an Excellent Follower, Not a Leader [00:05:57]How to Proactively Position Yourself for Leadership  [00:07:01] Tangible Steps: Setting Up for Growth Conversations  [00:08:44]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Asian Authority Audit: If you are doing everything right at work—delivering results, being reliable, taking ownership—but still not being seen as a leader, this is where we identify why. Apply for a personalized audit to assess how you are being perceived by leadership. There are limited spots monthly, so grab yours here. Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  3. Sep 9

    148: Why Feedback Makes You So Reactive

    As soon as you get feedback, do you find you’re in a reactive cycle? Instead of taking it as something to put into place, you’re thinking about what it says about you. Maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I screwed this up. Maybe they don't trust me anymore. So you might replay it, analyze what your performance for the next 24 hours, or beat yourself up. For many Asian American women, this reaction isn't random. We grew up trying to avoid disappointing people, respecting authority as the final word, and working hard to be good enough.  But being harder on yourself isn't making you a better leader. It's making it harder to actually see yourself accurately. In this episode, I talk about why feedback can trigger such a strong reaction, how self-appreciation changes your relationship with feedback, and why you need to be able to see your blind spots without making them mean something is wrong with you. Because leadership requires being able to see what's not working without losing sight of what's already working. If you're ready to uncover the blind spots keeping you from being seen as the leader you are, apply for an Asian Authority Audit here. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Why Feedback Triggers Reactivity: The Real Reason  [00:00:06]The Impact of Asian Cultural Conditioning on Feedback  [00:02:49]Navigating Shame and Criticism: From Childhood to Boardroom [00:03:36]Discovering and Addressing Your Blind Spots as a Leader  [00:05:06]The Power of Self-Appreciation and Building a Culture of Appreciation    [00:08:18]Small Habits, Big Shifts: Compounding Self-Worth for Effective Leadership  [00:11:25]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  4. Aug 26

    Ep 147: Coming Home to Yourself: Navigating Grief and Growth with Neeta Bhushan of The Brave Table

    Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth! In this episode, I sit down with Neeta Bhushan, host of The Brave Table and author of That Sucked, Now What?, for a powerful conversation about what happens when the patterns that once helped you survive and succeed start getting in the way of becoming the person, leader and human you’re meant to be. As the daughter of immigrant parents from India and the Philippines, Neeta learned early how to carry responsibility, achieve, and keep moving forward, even as she lost both her parents and a brother. We unpack how cultural and generational conditioning drove her to hustle harder and achieve more, while also taking care of everyone else. She digs into what it took to break generational patterns and to choose herself so she could finally come home to herself. It’s a vulnerable, expansive conversation — do not miss the exact ritual that keeps the mom of two regulated and grounded!  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   How performance becomes self-worth in immigrant  [02:56]  Navigating Grief and Responsibility as an Eldest Daughter  [03:55]  The Cost of Overachievement: Validation, Hustle, and Toxic Relationships  [06:13]  Finding Freedom and Redefining Identity Abroad  [14:05]  The Power of Vulnerability and Authentic Leadership  [22:01]  Healing Generational Patterns Through Emotional Regulation  [42:04]GUEST BIO: Neeta Bhushan is the host of the top 13 mental health podcast, The Brave Table, award-winning author of That Sucked, Now What? Founder of Ayurvedic wellness company Chai Tonics, and mother of 2.  If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and @neetabhushan everywhere so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Neeta Bhushan:  chaitonics.com/pages/rose-ritual-chai http://neetabhushan.comGrab her book “That Sucked, Now What?”@neetabhushan on InstagramCatch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  5. Aug 12

    146: How to Be Heard When You’re Already in the Room

    What happens when you’re already in the room where decisions are being made, but your voice still isn’t carrying the weight your experience warrants? In this episode, I’m breaking down an all-too-common experience for Asian American women in leadership: being in the room, delivering results, managing teams, and carrying significant responsibility, while still feeling like their perspective isn’t fully recognized. I share the story of a director managing a team of 30 who was frustrated when her insights were overlooked, even when decisions directly affected her work. The issue wasn’t getting into the room; her problem was she wasn’t being experienced as the strategic leader she already was.  In this episode, I break down how early expectations around reliability, hierarchy, respect, and keeping the peace common in Asian families can continue showing up in leadership, and how those patterns can quietly shape what happens before, during, and after you speak. If you’ve been told to “be more strategic” or “show more executive presence,” I’ll help you look beneath that feedback and understand what may actually be happening. You don’t need to work harder to prove you deserve the seat. You’ve already earned it. The work is learning how to lead from your own authority once you’re there. If you’re ready to explore what that looks like, join my Strategic Authority Sprint. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The Leadership Trap: Hard Work Does Not Always Equal Trust from Leadership  [02:28]High Performers Are Often Seen as Reliable Executors, Not Strategic Leaders  [03:28]Authority and Ownership in Leadership Roles: The Execution vs. Strategy Divide [04:25]How Early Definitions of Success Influence Workplace Dynamics  [05:05]Outsourcing Authority Happens in Small, Incremental Moments  [07:48]Vague Feedback Is a Sign You Haven’t Fully Stepped Into Your Leadership  [08:23]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Strategic Authority Sprint: If you’re an Asian-American leader who wants a seat at the table where strategy, influence, and leadership decisions happen for details on my weeklong Strategic Authority Sprint August 10-13. Get invited into the conversations where decisions are made. https://go.nicoletsong.com/optin1773963245894 Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. https://go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  6. Jul 29

    Ep 145: The Main Thing Blocking Your Seat at the Table

    Today, I dive into the MAIN thing blocking Asian-American women from getting a true seat at the table. And you do not want to miss what we talk about, because it’s NOT about your old stand-by, working harder. In fact, when you learn the details about this block, it can help you actually work LESS. Once you identify your personal block , and often we need some help to figure out exactly what it is , the next step is to understand how to STOP doing it. This is such an important conversation for Asian-American women leaders, make sure to dive in and then message me on Instagram @nicoletsong with your insights!  When you master overcoming this block, this is the moment shift out of seeking validation to leading strategically and confidently, truly claiming your seat at the table. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  The Biggest Lie for High-Achieving Asian American Women  [02:28]Leadership Isn’t About Working Harder  [03:03]The Cost of Protective Patterns in Leadership  [08:47]Unlocking Internal Authority for Real Leadership  [10:21]Why Most Capable Leaders Can’t Shift This Alone  [15:05]Steps to Identify and Shift Your Leadership Pattern  [16:10] If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  7. Jul 15

    Ep 144: {ALUMNI} Emotional Stability at Work: Journey to Authentic Leadership with Gloria Bui

    Have you ever struggled with critical feedback at work, despite your track record of success and hard work? That’s what Gloria Bui was facing when she joined the Seen as a Leader course. Like so many high-performing Asian-American women, she was used to accolades and being seen as excellent, but she felt blocked about how to move to the next level at work.  Through the course, Gloria learned to stabilize her emotions and respond with intention, something previous leadership coaching and communication courses hadn’t fully addressed for her. She discovered the power of knowing and acting from her authentic self, rather than feeling compelled to prove her worth in every meeting or chase external validation like a promotion for the sake of status. As Gloria grew more grounded and confident, she saw dramatic changes at work and in her personal life - becoming the pivotal person colleagues wanted in the room and experiencing more connection in her relationships.  You don’t want to miss the details of how Gloria shifted from emotionally reactive to stable and grounded at work, and how that changed everything. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The Importance of Bridging the Perception Gap in Leadership [06:16]Emotional Regulation Leads to Personal and Professional Growth [08:03]Speaking with Intention Improves Workplace Perception [10:40]Authenticity as the Foundation of Confident Communication [16:35]Gaining Clarity and Patience When Navigating Career Choices [19:07]The Power of Community and Group Coaching for Asian American Women [25:27]GUEST BIO Gloria Bui is a strategy and operations leader with a background spanning the nonprofit, consulting, and corporate sectors. She studied History at Davidson College and earned her MBA from Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business. She specializes in helping organizations identify growth opportunities, align teams around a shared strategy, and bring complex initiatives to life. Outside of work, Gloria serves on the YWCA-NYC Young Professionals Leadership Council, where she supports fundraising efforts and mentors local high school students. Originally from Asheville, North Carolina, she now lives in Brooklyn, New York with her partner and their pup.  If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and [insert guest IG handle] so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Gloria:  Substack: https://bigincremental.substack.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloriabui/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  8. Jul 1

    Ep 143: The fastest way to instantly land your work ideas

    Ever have that moment in a big meeting where you share your innovative idea … and it doesn’t land? And it’s happened more than once, despite your years of experience and knowing your stuff backward and forward. Today, we’re unpacking what’s REALLY going on before you even share your idea — and why being seen as reliable and hard‑working doesn’t always translate into being heard. For many Asian-American women, this goes all the way back to being raised to be agreeable, polite, or to put others first, habits that don’t always serve us in high‑stakes rooms. Inside, I share some practical shifts you can start using right away! Tune in to hear more. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Understanding The Reason Why Your Ideas Aren't Landing [00:00:34]The Impact of Self-Doubt and Anxiety in Meetings [00:02:22]Positioning Yourself as an Authority [00:03:32]The Subtle Sabotage of Deferring to Others [00:05:59]Shifting from Needing to be Right to Collaborative Leadership [00:07:45]Presenting Ideas Effectively [00:09:32]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

5
out of 5
44 Ratings

About

School of Self-Worth is a purposeful podcast and community for the ambitious woman who knows she is worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we redefine success, set and sustain boundaries, and reclaim your self-worth. Hosted by Nicole Tsong, bestselling author, former journalist, and work/life balance coach, who helps professional women live an aligned life. We will have diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and yourself every day. Every single episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered, with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

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