School of Self-Worth

Nicole Tsong

School of Self-Worth is a purposeful podcast and community for the ambitious woman who knows she is worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we redefine success, set and sustain boundaries, and reclaim your self-worth. Hosted by Nicole Tsong, bestselling author, former journalist, and work/life balance coach, who helps professional women live an aligned life. We will have diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and yourself every day. Every single episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered, with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

  1. Sep 9

    148: Why Feedback Makes You So Reactive

    As soon as you get feedback, do you find you’re in a reactive cycle? Instead of taking it as something to put into place, you’re thinking about what it says about you. Maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I screwed this up. Maybe they don't trust me anymore. So you might replay it, analyze what your performance for the next 24 hours, or beat yourself up. For many Asian American women, this reaction isn't random. We grew up trying to avoid disappointing people, respecting authority as the final word, and working hard to be good enough.  But being harder on yourself isn't making you a better leader. It's making it harder to actually see yourself accurately. In this episode, I talk about why feedback can trigger such a strong reaction, how self-appreciation changes your relationship with feedback, and why you need to be able to see your blind spots without making them mean something is wrong with you. Because leadership requires being able to see what's not working without losing sight of what's already working. If you're ready to uncover the blind spots keeping you from being seen as the leader you are, apply for an Asian Authority Audit here. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Why Feedback Triggers Reactivity: The Real Reason  [00:00:06]The Impact of Asian Cultural Conditioning on Feedback  [00:02:49]Navigating Shame and Criticism: From Childhood to Boardroom [00:03:36]Discovering and Addressing Your Blind Spots as a Leader  [00:05:06]The Power of Self-Appreciation and Building a Culture of Appreciation    [00:08:18]Small Habits, Big Shifts: Compounding Self-Worth for Effective Leadership  [00:11:25]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  2. Aug 26

    Ep 147: Coming Home to Yourself: Navigating Grief and Growth with Neeta Bhushan of The Brave Table

    Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth! In this episode, I sit down with Neeta Bhushan, host of The Brave Table and author of That Sucked, Now What?, for a powerful conversation about what happens when the patterns that once helped you survive and succeed start getting in the way of becoming the person, leader and human you’re meant to be. As the daughter of immigrant parents from India and the Philippines, Neeta learned early how to carry responsibility, achieve, and keep moving forward, even as she lost both her parents and a brother. We unpack how cultural and generational conditioning drove her to hustle harder and achieve more, while also taking care of everyone else. She digs into what it took to break generational patterns and to choose herself so she could finally come home to herself. It’s a vulnerable, expansive conversation — do not miss the exact ritual that keeps the mom of two regulated and grounded!  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   How performance becomes self-worth in immigrant  [02:56]  Navigating Grief and Responsibility as an Eldest Daughter  [03:55]  The Cost of Overachievement: Validation, Hustle, and Toxic Relationships  [06:13]  Finding Freedom and Redefining Identity Abroad  [14:05]  The Power of Vulnerability and Authentic Leadership  [22:01]  Healing Generational Patterns Through Emotional Regulation  [42:04]GUEST BIO: Neeta Bhushan is the host of the top 13 mental health podcast, The Brave Table, award-winning author of That Sucked, Now What? Founder of Ayurvedic wellness company Chai Tonics, and mother of 2.  If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and @neetabhushan everywhere so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Neeta Bhushan:  chaitonics.com/pages/rose-ritual-chai http://neetabhushan.comGrab her book “That Sucked, Now What?”@neetabhushan on InstagramCatch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  3. Aug 12

    146: How to Be Heard When You’re Already in the Room

    What happens when you’re already in the room where decisions are being made, but your voice still isn’t carrying the weight your experience warrants? In this episode, I’m breaking down an all-too-common experience for Asian American women in leadership: being in the room, delivering results, managing teams, and carrying significant responsibility, while still feeling like their perspective isn’t fully recognized. I share the story of a director managing a team of 30 who was frustrated when her insights were overlooked, even when decisions directly affected her work. The issue wasn’t getting into the room; her problem was she wasn’t being experienced as the strategic leader she already was.  In this episode, I break down how early expectations around reliability, hierarchy, respect, and keeping the peace common in Asian families can continue showing up in leadership, and how those patterns can quietly shape what happens before, during, and after you speak. If you’ve been told to “be more strategic” or “show more executive presence,” I’ll help you look beneath that feedback and understand what may actually be happening. You don’t need to work harder to prove you deserve the seat. You’ve already earned it. The work is learning how to lead from your own authority once you’re there. If you’re ready to explore what that looks like, join my Strategic Authority Sprint. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The Leadership Trap: Hard Work Does Not Always Equal Trust from Leadership  [02:28]High Performers Are Often Seen as Reliable Executors, Not Strategic Leaders  [03:28]Authority and Ownership in Leadership Roles: The Execution vs. Strategy Divide [04:25]How Early Definitions of Success Influence Workplace Dynamics  [05:05]Outsourcing Authority Happens in Small, Incremental Moments  [07:48]Vague Feedback Is a Sign You Haven’t Fully Stepped Into Your Leadership  [08:23]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Strategic Authority Sprint: If you’re an Asian-American leader who wants a seat at the table where strategy, influence, and leadership decisions happen for details on my weeklong Strategic Authority Sprint August 10-13. Get invited into the conversations where decisions are made. https://go.nicoletsong.com/optin1773963245894 Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. https://go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  4. Jul 29

    Ep 145: The Main Thing Blocking Your Seat at the Table

    Today, I dive into the MAIN thing blocking Asian-American women from getting a true seat at the table. And you do not want to miss what we talk about, because it’s NOT about your old stand-by, working harder. In fact, when you learn the details about this block, it can help you actually work LESS. Once you identify your personal block , and often we need some help to figure out exactly what it is , the next step is to understand how to STOP doing it. This is such an important conversation for Asian-American women leaders, make sure to dive in and then message me on Instagram @nicoletsong with your insights!  When you master overcoming this block, this is the moment shift out of seeking validation to leading strategically and confidently, truly claiming your seat at the table. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  The Biggest Lie for High-Achieving Asian American Women  [02:28]Leadership Isn’t About Working Harder  [03:03]The Cost of Protective Patterns in Leadership  [08:47]Unlocking Internal Authority for Real Leadership  [10:21]Why Most Capable Leaders Can’t Shift This Alone  [15:05]Steps to Identify and Shift Your Leadership Pattern  [16:10] If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  5. Jul 15

    Ep 144: {ALUMNI} Emotional Stability at Work: Journey to Authentic Leadership with Gloria Bui

    Have you ever struggled with critical feedback at work, despite your track record of success and hard work? That’s what Gloria Bui was facing when she joined the Seen as a Leader course. Like so many high-performing Asian-American women, she was used to accolades and being seen as excellent, but she felt blocked about how to move to the next level at work.  Through the course, Gloria learned to stabilize her emotions and respond with intention, something previous leadership coaching and communication courses hadn’t fully addressed for her. She discovered the power of knowing and acting from her authentic self, rather than feeling compelled to prove her worth in every meeting or chase external validation like a promotion for the sake of status. As Gloria grew more grounded and confident, she saw dramatic changes at work and in her personal life - becoming the pivotal person colleagues wanted in the room and experiencing more connection in her relationships.  You don’t want to miss the details of how Gloria shifted from emotionally reactive to stable and grounded at work, and how that changed everything. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The Importance of Bridging the Perception Gap in Leadership [06:16]Emotional Regulation Leads to Personal and Professional Growth [08:03]Speaking with Intention Improves Workplace Perception [10:40]Authenticity as the Foundation of Confident Communication [16:35]Gaining Clarity and Patience When Navigating Career Choices [19:07]The Power of Community and Group Coaching for Asian American Women [25:27]GUEST BIO Gloria Bui is a strategy and operations leader with a background spanning the nonprofit, consulting, and corporate sectors. She studied History at Davidson College and earned her MBA from Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business. She specializes in helping organizations identify growth opportunities, align teams around a shared strategy, and bring complex initiatives to life. Outside of work, Gloria serves on the YWCA-NYC Young Professionals Leadership Council, where she supports fundraising efforts and mentors local high school students. Originally from Asheville, North Carolina, she now lives in Brooklyn, New York with her partner and their pup.  If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and [insert guest IG handle] so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Gloria:  Substack: https://bigincremental.substack.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloriabui/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  6. Jul 1

    Ep 143: The fastest way to instantly land your work ideas

    Ever have that moment in a big meeting where you share your innovative idea … and it doesn’t land? And it’s happened more than once, despite your years of experience and knowing your stuff backward and forward. Today, we’re unpacking what’s REALLY going on before you even share your idea — and why being seen as reliable and hard‑working doesn’t always translate into being heard. For many Asian-American women, this goes all the way back to being raised to be agreeable, polite, or to put others first, habits that don’t always serve us in high‑stakes rooms. Inside, I share some practical shifts you can start using right away! Tune in to hear more. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Understanding The Reason Why Your Ideas Aren't Landing [00:00:34]The Impact of Self-Doubt and Anxiety in Meetings [00:02:22]Positioning Yourself as an Authority [00:03:32]The Subtle Sabotage of Deferring to Others [00:05:59]Shifting from Needing to be Right to Collaborative Leadership [00:07:45]Presenting Ideas Effectively [00:09:32]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  7. Jun 17

    Ep 142: The Invisible Ways Asian-American Women Give Away Their Authority

    In this episode, Nicole explores one of the most overlooked leadership dynamics affecting high-achieving Asian American women: the subtle ways we unintentionally give away our authority at work. If you've ever wondered why you're trusted with important projects but still overlooked for leadership opportunities, this conversation is for you. Nicole breaks down the hidden moments where authority is lost, why these patterns often stem from cultural conditioning, and how they impact the perception of you as a leader long before promotion talks begin. You'll learn why authority isn't built in high-stakes presentations, but in everyday interactions where you either reinforce the identity of someone they trust to get things done or strengthen your position as a strategic leader. Nicole shares practical methods to develop internal stability, how to position your thinking with confidence, and recognizing the patterns keeping you stuck despite your expertise.  If you're ready to stop being praised privately and overlooked publicly, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? Download The Authority Shift, Nicole's free private audio series for high-achieving women who are tired of being known as the person who gets things done and ready to be known as the person who leads. Inside, you'll discover the hidden leadership patterns shaping how you're perceived at work and what actually changes them. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:    Authority is often lost in subtle, everyday moments, not just during big presentations or meetings [03:01]Over-explaining, defensiveness, and worrying about others' reactions can dilute your authority [05:07]Many behaviors, like waiting to be spoken to or making things easier for others, are ingrained culturally, especially for Asian American women [10:05]Authority isn’t about confidence or perfect words, but about remaining stable and grounded, even under unexpected pressure [12:01]Awareness of these patterns is the first step toward making powerful shifts in how you show up and lead [15:11]Understanding and practicing holding authority in micro-moments [06:41] If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong, so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

  8. Jun 3

    Ep 141: Taking Risks in Love and Career with Filmmaker Christine Chang

    Today on the School of Self-Worth, I’m sitting down with the remarkable Christine Chang, a celebrity photographer, author and now filmmaker, as she celebrates her debut short film, Making Space. In this conversation, we delve more deeply into how her Asian-American upbringing impacted her sense of self and how it affected her in her relationships and dating.  Throughout our conversation, she pointed to a pattern many high-achieving women are familiar with — the belief that love has to be earned. Christine shares how this showed up in her own life by dating unavailable people and how she broke the pattern honest, raw conversations with her parents. We explore what emotional availability actually looks like in practice, and why being gentle with yourself matters so much. She also digs into why receiving help is an essential part of healthy relationships.  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   How self-worth influences dating patterns and romantic relationships  [07:47]Awareness of childhood roots helps break destructive patterns [15:13]Emotional availability is a skill that must be practiced and developed [21:10]Choosing a healthy relationship and learning to feel calm and safe, not dramatic [28:43]Letting people help is an act of self-worth and vulnerability [33:06]Pursuing your dreams requires embracing discomfort and self-kindness [46:17]Christine Chang spent two decades as a celebrity photographer, developing a keen eye for capturing people during authentic, in-between moments. That fascination with intimacy, identity, and relational awareness expanded her career into writing, podcasting, branding, and now film.  She is the author of Show Up: Finding Love for Independent Women and the former host of the podcast Show Up with Christine Chang, where she explored modern relationships and self-discovery. Most recently, she directed her debut short film Making Space, which is currently screening at film festivals throughout the US. If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Christine Chang @cchangandco  so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email podcast@nicoletsong.com to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Christine Chang:  Website: http://christinechang.com https://www.instagram.com/cchangandco/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

5
out of 5
44 Ratings

About

School of Self-Worth is a purposeful podcast and community for the ambitious woman who knows she is worthy of an astoundingly great life. Join us weekly as we redefine success, set and sustain boundaries, and reclaim your self-worth. Hosted by Nicole Tsong, bestselling author, former journalist, and work/life balance coach, who helps professional women live an aligned life. We will have diverse and meaningful conversations with successful women from all walks of life who share insight about what it takes to be brave, joyful, and yourself every day. Every single episode is thoughtfully designed to leave you feeling empowered, with tangible tips and advice that will lead you to your next breakthrough.

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