Silence teaches what nothing else can. In this episode, I share what came up during my tenth silent retreat in eight years, 17 days of silence that humbled me completely. We explore what meditation actually is beyond the buzzword, the balance between masculine effort and feminine surrender, and the moment grace took over when I finally stopped pushing. I also get honest about my own spiritual ego, the parts of me that still crave being seen and validated, the judgment that showed up toward my meditation neighbours, and the apology I realised I owed myself before anyone else. We close with the question that matters more than any retreat, spiritual practice or blissful state: does it make you kinder. And why receiving love, receiving bliss, receiving good things, can be harder for us than receiving pain. This episode is for you if you are on any kind of inner path, whether that is yoga, therapy, coaching or your own quiet practice, and you want to be reminded why the going within is worth it. Please give this podcast a 5 star review and share this with anyone who might need to hear it. Hridaya Yoga, where I trained and return to for silent retreats: https://hridaya-yoga.com/ Unstoppable Lovers, doors opening soon: https://leen-s.com/unstoppable-lovers/ Find Leen on Instagram:instagram.com/leen.s.coaching Check Leen's Website:www.leen-s.com Any questions: hi@leen-s.com About Leen S:Leen is a Belgian born, International Facilitator with traditional roots in yoga, tantra & conscious relating. She brings us closer to our bodies, our life force energy and a new way of relating through heart healing and soul recognition. Her magic lies in being a shameless permission slip for eros and joy to awaken in all. Leen stands for conscious relationships where emotional maturity, safety and vulnerability meet the fire of passion. As a certified Sex, Love and Relationship VITA coach, breath-work facilitator and 500 hours certified tantric Hatha Yoga Teacher, Leen has been guiding thousands of people to awaken to the power of their pleasure and orgasmic nature for the last 10 years. Chapters00:00 - Welcome to Sex & Soul00:32 - Retreat context: 17 days of silence02:41 - What meditation actually asks of you05:32 - Tantra beyond the misconception07:23 - Falling in love with the mystery12:08 - Masculine effort, feminine surrender16:01 - Grace, humbling and letting go of control21:54 - Throwing the whole book away24:14 - Letting yourself feel good26:12 - The apology as an ego death28:55 - What I judge in others, I have not loved in myself30:33 - Does it make you kinder32:28 - We become love by loving others39:07 - Welcome home, soul family