Love, Laughs, and Lessons

Loves, Laughs, and Lessons
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Dive deep into the heart of human connections with the Love, Laughs, and Lessons Podcast. Dr. Frankie and Denise Rai lead an extraordinary journey, unraveling the mysteries of intimacy, relationships, and self-discovery. With empathy, humor, and vulnerability, this podcast explores the joys, challenges, and the 'vanilla' moments in romantic relationships, family bonds, friendships, and our vital relationship with ourselves.

  1. Oct 19

    The Best Sex After 50 | Menopause, Desire & Reinventing Intimacy with Karen Bigman

    What happens when we stop believing the myth that intimacy inevitably expires with age, and how do we rewrite rigid scripts around sex to cultivate the most fulfilling physical and emotional connection of our lives in midlife? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with Sexual Health Alliance certified sexuality educator and host of the Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50 podcast, Karen Bigman. Karen shares how she became curious about the unspoken realities of menopause, andropause, desire, and communication after realizing that most midlife couples aren't broken. They simply never received the tools to navigate physical and biological shifts. Together, they dismantle the outdated "lips, nips, hips" script that treats intercourse as the only valid form of sex, exploring how physical changes, performance pressure, and decades of routine can cause one or both partners to pull away. The conversation dives deep into Karen's "Midlife Desire Shift" framework and her practical concept of "sex snacks," low-pressure gestures of touch, affection, and play that take the expectation of intercourse off the table to reduce anxiety and rebuild safety. They also address mismatched desire, navigating dating after 50, overcoming the shame surrounding midlife sexuality, and exploring everything from sensation play to open relationships and kink. What You'll Learn Why hitting menopause or midlife does not mean your sex life is over, and how shifting your mindset opens up possibilities for the best intimacy of your life. How to dismantle the traditional "lips, nips, hips" script and expand your definition of sex to include sensual touch, sensation play, kink, and deep emotional connection beyond intercourse alone. How to use "sex snacks," short, intentional gestures like a six-second kiss, a twenty-second hug, or a tender touch, to reintroduce intimacy without the pressure or anxiety of performance. The core pillars of the "Midlife Desire Shift" framework, addressing physical and biological changes, psychological roadblocks, emotional communication, and redefining what satisfaction looks like for long-term couples. Practical approaches to handling mismatched desire in midlife relationships, navigating conversations about sexual health and STIs without shame, and understanding why many men in their 50s and 60s are actively seeking conscious, sex-positive partners. Guest Bio: Karen Bigman Karen Bigman is a Sexual Health Alliance certified sexuality educator, midlife relationship coach, and the creator and host of the podcast Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50. After navigating her own post-menopausal journey and midlife singlehood, Karen dedicated her work to breaking the silence around midlife desire, menopause, andropause, and relational disconnection. Through her podcast, educational courses, and coaching programs, she helps people replace shame with curiosity, navigate physical and emotional changes, and cultivate vibrant, authentic intimacy at any age. Connect with Karen Bigman Website: https://taboototruth.com Podcast: Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50 Special Offer & Resources Listeners can visit taboototruth.com to explore Karen's free resources, discover her courses for partners of women navigating menopause, and join the waitlist for her men's midlife coaching program.

  2. Sep 10

    When Everyone Thinks He’s a Nice Guy: The Reality of Covert Narcissistic Abuse | Laura Richards

    What happens when you spend over three decades married to a man who makes you feel like every breath you take is wrong, and how do you rebuild your entire identity and sense of self from the bottom up? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with international podcaster, best-selling author, and speaker Laura Richards. Laura spent 33 years married to a covert narcissist—a "nice guy" in public who served the homeless and picked up tabs, but who systematically devalued her and left her walking on eggshells at home. After leaving her marriage, she finally found a name for her pain: narcissistic abuse. She turned her recovery journey into a lifeline for others, writing two best-selling books, Married to a Nice Guy and There is Hope, and hosting her hit podcast, That's Where I'm At. The conversation explores the mechanics of covert narcissism, love bombing, and the slow "drip, drip" of devaluation that erodes self-worth over decades. They delve into why religious spaces can sometimes harbor abusers under the guise of "staying and praying," how she strategically escaped her marriage, and why she firmly believes "if we're not dead, we're not done" in midlife. One of the most memorable moments is when Laura discusses her "bought the avocado wrong" post—perfectly capturing the exhausting, everyday reality of covert devaluation. What You'll Learn The critical difference between overt and covert narcissism, why covert abusers are so difficult to spot because of their helpful public personas, and how the slow "drip, drip" of devaluation leaves you walking on eggshells in your own home. Why love bombing at the beginning of a relationship floods your brain with chemicals that bypass logic, and the critical importance of slowing down and pacing yourself when dating to allow red flags to show up. The intersection of religious conditioning and abuse, why the church's emphasis on "staying and praying" or reconciliation can inadvertently keep survivors trapped in toxic dynamics, and how Laura navigated her own reverse discard. How to plan a strategic and quiet escape from a narcissistic partner, why keeping your plans completely private is essential for safety, and how covert narcissists often use financial control to prevent their partners from leaving. Why self-love and internal validation are the ultimate antidotes to narcissistic abuse, and why reclaiming your power in midlife means building a completely new, stronger version of yourself rather than trying to get back to who you used to be. Guest Bio: Laura Richards Laura Richards is an international podcaster, best-selling author, and speaker dedicated to empowering women after narcissistic abuse. She is the creator and host of the That's Where I'm At podcast, which has been featured on Google News, AP News, and Yahoo. Drawing from her own 33-year marriage, Laura is the author of Married to a Nice Guy: Getting Over Narcissistic Abuse and There is Hope: 52 Keys to Healing After Divorce. Today, she offers resources, speaking engagements, and one-on-one coaching to help women navigate midlife starting over and reclaim their power. Connect with Laura Richards Website: thatswhereimatpodcast.com Podcast: That's Where I'm At Podcast https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ https://www.youtube.com/@thatswhereimatpodcast https://www.facebook.com/thatswhereimatpod/

  3. Sep 3

    Living Out Loud & Modern Queer Dating | Michele Flamer

    What happens when you step out of an 18-year marriage into a modern dating scene you haven't navigated since your 20s, and how do you find a deep, slow-paced, and conscious connection in a world dominated by dating apps? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with entrepreneur, advocate, and host of the Living Out Loud podcast Michele Flamer to discuss modern queer relationships, midlife dating, and what it truly means to live out loud. Drawing from her own transition out of an 18-year marriage, Michele shares how she bypassed dating apps, worked with a shaman and a therapist for four years, and ultimately met her current partner, Liz, via TikTok DMs. Together, they dive into the mechanics of their long-distance relationship between Phoenix and San Diego, co-parenting their 14-year-old daughter like "rock stars," and how they use intentional tools like video messaging and relationship-building games to grow closer every day. The conversation explores what it means to be demisexual—needing an intellectual and emotional spark before a physical one—and how midlife dating in your 50s shifts your perspective on what is truly desirable. Michele unpacks why she warns against the "U-Haul effect," why a partner's lack of friends is a significant warning sign, and how speaking up from your "throat chakra" to state exactly what you need is the ultimate green flag for a lasting relationship. What You'll Learn Why chasing butterflies and intense early chemistry is often a sign of trauma-bonding, and why we should look for a calm, stable "steady f*** yes" connection instead. How to heal your throat chakra by expressing your boundaries, fears, and deal-breakers openly, and why collecting data early on prevents dating fatigue. What it means to be demisexual in the modern dating landscape, and why establishing a deep cerebral connection is the ultimate foreplay. Why having no friends is a significant relational red flag, and what healthy friendships teach us about our capacity for romantic partnership. Practical ways to use intimacy tools like the "We're Not Really Strangers" card deck to take the pressure off first dates and facilitate deep, authentic connection. Guest Bio: Michele Flamer Michele Flamer is a mother, entrepreneur, advocate, and lifelong connector with decades of experience in sales and leadership. She is the host of the Living Out Loud podcast and the co-founder of Relationship Ready Lesbians, an upcoming workshop curriculum designed to help women navigate midlife dating, build relational skills, and step into intentional connection. Grounded in her own journey of self-reflection and healing, Michele is passionate about helping people stop editing themselves down for the comfort of others and start showing up exactly as they are. Connect with Michele FlamerInstagram & TikTok: @relationshipreadylesbiansPodcast: Living Out Loud(Note: Listeners can follow her social channels to join the waitlist for her upcoming "Relationship Ready Lesbians" workshop series!)

  4. Aug 27

    Microdosing Lust | Affairs, Responsive Desire & the Truth About Lasting Intimacy

    What happens when the excitement of a new relationship fades? Can desire be rebuilt, or is that simply what long-term love looks like? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with board-certified sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Jenn Kennedy to explore what really happens after the honeymoon phase ends. Drawing from years of working with individuals and couples, Dr. Jenn explains why intimacy is something we intentionally create, not something we either have or lose. Together, they unpack the different stages of long-term relationships, why so many couples struggle with desire despite deeply loving one another, and how shame, routine, resentment, and unrealistic expectations quietly erode connection. They also explore emotional affairs, responsive desire, and why great sex is often the result of emotional safety, curiosity, and playfulness rather than spontaneity alone.  What You'll Learn Why the honeymoon phase fades and what healthy long-term intimacy actually looks likeDr. Jenn's concept of "microdosing lust" and what emotional affairs reveal about desire The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and why understanding both can transform your relationshipWhy nobody wants to be the only one initiating intimacy, and how couples can break that cyclePractical ways to bring playfulness, curiosity, and genuine connection back into your relationship Guest Bio - Dr. Jenn Kennedy Dr. Jenn Kennedy is a board-certified sex therapist, licensed marriage and family therapist, and founder of The Pleasure Project. She holds a PhD in Clinical Sexology and specializes in helping individuals and couples navigate intimacy, desire, communication, and sexual wellness. Through therapy, education, and her online program The Pleasure Circle, she helps people move beyond shame, deepen connection, and build fulfilling relationships grounded in authenticity and pleasure.  Special Offer Love, Laughs & Lessons listeners receive 50% off The Pleasure Circle, Dr. Jenn Kennedy's self-paced intimacy and sexuality program. Use code: HORSE The course includes more than five hours of video instruction, 30 guided worksheets, and practical tools to help you better understand your body, improve communication, and cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. Website: www.drjenn.com Podcast: The Pleasure Project

  5. Aug 20

    Why Big Boys Don’t Cry & Reclaiming Male Vulnerability | Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

    What happens when we teach young boys to shut down their emotions, and how can that early conditioning follow them into their adult relationships, emotional lives, and well-being? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with licensed psychologist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst to explore the profound impact of gender conditioning, emotional suppression, and how adults can recover their full emotional range. Dr. Gloria shares research that has shaped her work, including findings she says suggest infant boys begin life with a broader range of emotional expression than girls, only to have that range narrowed through early social conditioning. Together, they unpack why Dr. Gloria challenges the statistics around declining divorce rates and argues that relationship breakups tell a bigger story than divorce statistics alone, how text messaging may give young men another avenue for emotional expression, and how women may also be shaped by gender conditioning and what it can look like to stay present when a male partner begins expressing vulnerable emotions. The conversation explores Dr. Gloria's concerns about the overmedication of young children with ADHD, the role of thoughtful parenting strategies and structure, and how her unique blank-page journal method helps adults tap into emotions that exist beyond language. One of the most memorable moments comes when Dr. Gloria shares a story about her granddaughter's male preschool teacher allowing her to finger-paint beyond the page, sparking a lively conversation about gender, parenting, exploration, and how much of children's behavior is innate versus conditioned. We Cover: Dr. Gloria shares research that has shaped her work, including findings she says suggest infant boys begin life with a broader range of emotional expression than girls, only to have that range narrowed through early social conditioning. The societal myth of "big boys don't cry" and how withholding emotional vocabulary forces men to substitute tender feelings with aggression, frustration, or silence. Why Dr. Gloria challenges the statistics around declining divorce rates and argues that relationship breakups tell a bigger story than divorce statistics alone. How text messaging may give young men another avenue for emotional expression. How women may also be shaped by gender conditioning, and what it can look like to stay present when a male partner begins expressing vulnerable emotions. Dr. Gloria's concerns about the overmedication of young children for ADHD, when medication may be appropriate, and parenting strategies that can provide children with greater structure, connection, and support. How to use blank-page journaling and structured feeling lists to bypass intellectualization, unlock somaticized history, and expand your emotional vocabulary at any age. Guest Bio: Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst is a licensed psychologist in Maryland and Washington, D.C., with over three decades of experience helping children, men, couples, and families navigate emotional suppression, gender conditioning, and relational disconnection. She has served as the Director of Child and Adolescent Services at the Chesapeake ADHD Center of Maryland, founded Vanderhorst & Associates, and held a tenured faculty position in developmental psychology at Towson University. Grounded in Internal Family Systems and Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Dr. Gloria is the co-editor of The World of Collaborative Practice and the author of the Read, Reflect, Respond journal series, dedicated to helping adults take a deeper, shame-free dive into their emotional lives. Website: www.drvanderhorst.com Journal Website: www.gloriasbooks.com

  6. Aug 13

    Shrooms, Schizophrenia & The Hard Truth About Boundaries | Mike Stroh

    What happens when your life looks successful on the outside, but you are quietly falling apart from addiction on the inside, and how do you find true purpose when conventional paths fail? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with registered psychotherapist and ADHD specialist Mike Stroh to explore the raw realities of mental health, addiction, and the human search for meaning. Drawing from his own journey, from experiencing a drug-induced psychotic episode on magic mushrooms at age twelve to over fourteen years of sobriety, Mike shares how he transformed his lived experiences into a mission to help others. Together, they unpack why we are facing a modern "meaning crisis" and how his Feedback Informed Treatment approach measures progress with the goal of helping people need less therapy over time, not more. The conversation explores what living with ADHD actually feels like from the inside, how weed, porn, screens, and other distractions can become ways of escaping ourselves, and how to stop taking on the emotional weight of everyone around us. One of the most memorable moments of the episode comes when Mike shares a witty but profound story about an old man on a park bench that perfectly illustrates the true, secret of boundaries and minding your own business. We Cover: How a drug-induced psychotic episode on magic mushrooms at age twelve set off a fifteen-year struggle with severe weed addiction, and the turning point that led him to finally ask for help. The reality of the modern "meaning crisis" and how our cultural loss of spiritual and communal institutions has left an existential void that many try to fill with substances or digital distractions. How his Feedback Informed Treatment approach measures progress with the goal of helping people need less therapy over time, not more. The visceral, daily reality of living with ADHD, and why practical, structured routines involving sleep, exercise, and mindfulness are often the most potent "medicine." Why young people struggle deeply to establish healthy boundaries, often misperceiving themselves as responsible for the reactions and feelings of those around them. The heartbreaking but necessary art of holding a hard line, illustrated by Mike's family experience with his brother's schizophrenia and what it taught him about the limits of responsibility and control. How Mike, during early recovery, encountered the profound message that "sobriety brings all of the things drugs and alcohol promised," and how that realization shaped his path toward separating his ultimate purpose from the roles he plays as a parent or partner. Guest Bio: Mike Stroh Mike Stroh is a registered psychotherapist and ADHD certified clinical service provider based in Ontario, Canada. He holds a master’s degree in counseling psychotherapy and specializes in anxiety, ADHD, addiction, and helping individuals discover genuine purpose in their lives. After overcoming his own severe battles with mental illness and substance abuse, Mike founded Starts With Me and has since delivered mental health talks and workshops to over 100,000 people, partnering with major school boards and national brands. He is featured frequently on national news as a mental health advocate, hosts The State of Mind Mental Health Podcast, and maintains a strictly social-media-free life to practice the healthy boundaries he teaches. Website: startswithme.ca Podcast: The State of Mind Mental Health Podcast

  7. Jul 30

    The Husband Coach | How to Improve Communication in Marriage: Why Love Gets Lost in Translation

    What happens when it feels like you and your partner are speaking completely different languages—even when you're both trying your hardest to communicate? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with Josh Livingstone, The Husband Coach, to explore why so many couples struggle to connect despite having the best intentions. Drawing from more than 15 years of coaching married men, Josh explains why the biggest challenge in marriage isn't a lack of effort—it's a lack of direction. He introduces his CORE Method—Clarity, Ownership, Responsibility, and Execution—and explains why men often need practical, actionable tools to better understand, support, and emotionally connect with their partners. Together, they explore why men and women frequently "translate" each other's needs differently, how emotional validation strengthens relationships, and why sharing the mental and logistical load of running a household matters more than many couples realize. One of the episode's most memorable moments is Josh's "headache" thought experiment, which perfectly illustrates how men and women often seek connection in very different ways—and how a simple shift in perspective can completely change the outcome of a conversation. We Discuss: Why relationship struggles are often a translation problem, not a communication problemJosh's CORE Method: Clarity, Ownership, Responsibility, and ExecutionWhy listening is often more powerful than trying to fix the problemEmotional validation and what it really means to feel heardSharing the mental load and dividing household responsibilities effectivelyThe three relationship needs Josh believes are foundational for men: respect, appreciation, and intimacyWhy proactive affection and emotional connection strengthen long-term relationships About Josh Livingstone Josh Livingstone, known as The Husband Coach, has spent more than 15 years coaching married men at every stage of marriage, from newlyweds to couples together for more than three decades. Through his CORE Method, he provides practical, results-driven tools that help husbands strengthen communication, deepen emotional connection, and build healthier, more fulfilling marriages. Website:www.thehusbandcoach.com Instagram:@the_husband_coach

  8. Jul 23

    The Sex Talk Your Doctor Never Had With You | Porn, Orgasms, Herpes & Sexual Health

    Why is sexual health still one of the most important—and least discussed—parts of our overall well-being? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer (Dr. Z.), a Doctor of Nursing Practice and board-certified nurse practitioner specializing in sexual medicine, to have the honest conversation most of us never had with our healthcare providers. Drawing from her background in cardiac, surgical, geriatric, and urologic care, Dr. Z explains why conventional medicine often overlooks pleasure, intimacy, and sexual function, and why that gap leaves millions of people feeling confused, ashamed, or unsupported. Together, they explore the rise in sexual dysfunction among younger adults, how pornography and common medications influence desire and arousal, and why understanding our bodies is essential to healthier relationships and better overall health. The conversation tackles some of today's biggest questions surrounding sex and intimacy; from responsive desire and foreplay to penis size myths, squirting, orgasms, and one of the most misunderstood diagnoses in sexual health: herpes (HSV). Dr. Z also explains why changes in your sex life can sometimes be early warning signs of underlying medical conditions and why sexual health deserves to be treated as an essential part of healthcare—not an uncomfortable afterthought. We Discuss: Why sexual health is an essential part of overall healthWhy most healthcare providers receive little training in sexual medicineHow pornography and common medications can affect desire, arousal, and sexual functionDifferent types of orgasms and the science behind pleasureThe truth about squirting and other common sexual mythsDebunking myths about penis size, body count, and sexual performanceThe facts about herpes (HSV), STI testing, false positives, disclosure, and reducing stigmaWhy erectile dysfunction and painful sex can be early indicators of broader health concerns About Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer (Dr. Z) is a Doctor of Nursing Practice, board-certified nurse practitioner, and founder of the Revive Institute of Sexual Health. After years working in cardiac, surgical, geriatric, and urologic medicine, she recognized a significant gap in how healthcare addresses sexual wellness, pleasure, hormones, and intimacy. Today, she helps patients overcome the physical and emotional barriers affecting their sexual health through evidence-based, shame-free care. She is also the host of the sexual health podcast Between the Sheets. Website:www.reviveish.com Podcast:Between the Sheets Instagram:@reviveish

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About

Dive deep into the heart of human connections with the Love, Laughs, and Lessons Podcast. Dr. Frankie and Denise Rai lead an extraordinary journey, unraveling the mysteries of intimacy, relationships, and self-discovery. With empathy, humor, and vulnerability, this podcast explores the joys, challenges, and the 'vanilla' moments in romantic relationships, family bonds, friendships, and our vital relationship with ourselves.

Information

  • Creator
    Loves, Laughs, and Lessons
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    91
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Loves, Laughs, and Lessons
  • Show Website
    Love, Laughs, and Lessons

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