I Wish You Knew

Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
  • 4.7 (53)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

  1. Why You Attract the Wrong Men | Celebrity Matchmaker Alessandra Conti and Adam Lane Smith

    19H AGO

    Why You Attract the Wrong Men | Celebrity Matchmaker Alessandra Conti and Adam Lane Smith

    Are you tired of going on endless first dates that go nowhere? Sick of swiping through apps that seem to get more exhausting and less satisfying every year? You are not alone, and this conversation is going to change the way you think about finding a partner entirely. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Alessandra Conti, celebrity matchmaker and founder of Matchmakers in the City, for one of the most honest and practical conversations about modern dating you will find anywhere. With nearly 14 years of experience working with celebrities, royals, and high profile clients, Alessandra has seen every pattern, every mistake, and every thing that actually works when it comes to finding the right person. What you will learn in this conversation: 1- Why dating apps are not the problem but the way almost everyone uses them is 2- What matchmaking actually is and why guided courtship has worked for all of human history while modern dating has been failing for 100 years 3- Why building female community before dating men is one of the most important things a single woman can do and why so many women resist it 4- Why no sex until monogamy is not just a values decision but a strategic one that protects your heart, your judgment, and your future 5- How good men actually respond when a woman holds her boundaries and what it tells you immediately about whether he is worth your time 6- The most destructive thing women think they are looking for in a man and what they actually need instead 7- Why men with a plan are the most attractive men in any room and what that means in practice 8- What women should never do on a first date if they actually like the man and the surprising thing they should do if they do not 9- Why both men and women are walking around wanting the same thing and completely failing to find each other and what to do about it If you have ever felt like the modern dating world was designed to keep you single, this conversation will show you exactly why that feeling is right and what the alternative actually looks like. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 4 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/9 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/9 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/9 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:  https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/9 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

    1h 17m
  2. Gabby Reece ALMOST Got a Divorce at 30... Then Did THIS | Attachment Psychology Explained

    APR 3

    Gabby Reece ALMOST Got a Divorce at 30... Then Did THIS | Attachment Psychology Explained

    Most people online will tell you that being feminine means being weak, giving something up, or falling into the background. This conversation is nothing like that. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Gabby Reece, professional volleyball legend, model, author, and host of The Gabby Show, for one of the most grounded and honest conversations about what it actually means to be a feminine woman in the modern world. No performance. No agenda. Just a woman who has spent decades figuring out who she is and is willing to show you exactly what that looks like from the inside. What you'll learn in this conversation: 1- Why femininity looks different for every woman and why trying to copy someone else's version is the wrong starting point 2- How Gabby straddled the worlds of elite sports and modeling at 18 and what that taught her about owning both sides of herself 3- Why the word submissive has been misunderstood and what it actually means when you choose it from a place of strength 5- How Gabby almost divorced Laird Hamilton at 30, what she did instead, and the 25 years of relationship that followed 6- What shiny eyes are and why this one simple habit has kept their relationship alive and exciting for over 30 years 7- Why women are afraid to ask themselves what they actually want and what gets lost when they stop asking 8- How to have hard conversations with a strong man without it turning into a battle 9- Why self care is not selfish and how reframing it changes everything for mothers and partners 10- What strong women should actually be looking for in a man and why values matter far more than status or money If you have ever wondered whether you can be strong, capable, and fully feminine all at the same time, this conversation will show you that not only is it possible, it is the whole point. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–27, 2026 | San Diego, California 4 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/2 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/2 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/2 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:  https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=4/2 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

    1h 2m
  3. The CEO and COO Model | Tom & Lisa Bilyeu and Adam Lane Smith

    MAR 26

    The CEO and COO Model | Tom & Lisa Bilyeu and Adam Lane Smith

    Most couples you see online are either performing for the camera or fighting for the clicks. This conversation is nothing like that. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu, co-founders of Quest Nutrition and hosts of Impact Theory and Women of Impact, for one of the most honest conversations about marriage you'll find anywhere on the internet. No highlight reel. No performance. Just two people who have been building a life together for 25 years, and are willing to show you exactly what that has looked like, the hard parts included. What you'll learn in this conversation: 1- Why happy couples are invisible online and what that's doing to everyone's idea of what love is supposed to look like 2- How Tom and Lisa met, why they both assumed it wouldn't last, and the moment that changed everything 3- Why Lisa stayed silent for eight years and the one sentence she finally said that pivoted their entire lives 4- The CEO and COO model of marriage and why treating your relationship like a business might actually save it 5- What happened when Lisa became the boss of 40 ex-convicts and accidentally brought that energy home to her husband 6- What Tom actually needed after working 120-hour weeks that Lisa didn't know how to give him and how they figured it out 7- The post-it note system they built so Tom always knows what Lisa needs when she comes to him with a problem 8- Why the most dangerous moment in a marriage is when one partner starts outgrowing the dynamic and what to do before it breaks you 9- What legacy actually means when you strip away the ego and why Tom thinks most people are quietly fooling themselves about being remembered If you've ever wondered what it looks like when two people genuinely love each other, fight for each other, and keep choosing each other through the hard stuff, this is that conversation. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–27, 2026 | San Diego, California 4 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/27 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/27 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/27 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:  https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/27 Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

    1h 27m
  4. Is He a Narcissist or Just Avoidant? | Dr. Leslie Dobson & Adam Lane Smith

    MAR 20

    Is He a Narcissist or Just Avoidant? | Dr. Leslie Dobson & Adam Lane Smith

    Most people online will tell you your partner is a narcissist because he didn't text back fast enough. This conversation is nothing like that. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Leslie Dobson, forensic psychologist and court-appointed expert who has spent her career inside prisons, jails, and psych hospitals assessing the most dangerous individuals in the system, to give you a reality-based answer to the question so many people are afraid to ask: am I actually in danger? What you'll learn in this conversation: 1- Why true narcissistic personality disorder is rare and why misusing the term puts people at real risk 2- What coercive control actually is, and why a federal judge needed to hear that it's more dangerous than physical violence 3- How to tell the difference between an avoidant partner and an actual predator 4- What narcissists are scanning for in a potential target and why certain attachment wounds make you more visible to them 5- Why the 10% good moments in a toxic relationship are not evidence that things can change 6- How isolation works, why it happens so gradually, and what it takes to reconnect with the people who knew you before 7- What forensic journaling looks like and why it might be the most important thing you do if you're not sure yet 8- Why building community is the only real protection against narcissistic predators and the science behind why 9- If you've been questioning whether your relationship is unhealthy or whether you're overreacting, this episode will give you the clarity you've been looking for. If you've been questioning whether your relationship is unhealthy or whether you're overreacting, this episode will give you the clarity you've been looking for. 📚 WORK WITH ME 👉 FREE 90-minute Masterclass - Save your spot https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/masterclass-signup?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–27, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat-new/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:  https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=3/20 Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg/join

    1h 18m
  5. The Science Behind Why Your Nervous System Is Destroying Your Kids (Without Knowing It)

    MAR 18

    The Science Behind Why Your Nervous System Is Destroying Your Kids (Without Knowing It)

    Most parents aren't struggling because they don't care enough. They're struggling because they care too much and their nervous system is running on empty. In this episode, Adam sits down with Hunter Clark-Fields, mindful parenting expert and host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, to talk about what "good enough" parenting actually looks like and why perfection would be the worst thing for your kids. ➡️ Why mom guilt is a sign of love and how it quietly damages your kids ➡️ What attachment research actually says about "good enough" (hint: it's shockingly low) ➡️ How your nervous system sets the temperature for the whole house ➡️ The real difference between teenage rebellion and healthy differentiation ➡️ Why "do as I say, not as I do" is a relationship-ender with your teenager ➡️ The 3-part communication tool from Plum Village that opens even the hardest conversations ➡️ Why self-care isn't selfish it's literally child care ➡️ How to ask your co-parent for help when no one taught you how 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–27, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns:  https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=newsletter Find Hunter: Mindful Mama Podcast: mindfulmamacoach.com Book: Raising Good Humans

    1h 18m
  6. The Forgotten Attachment Psychology of Biblical Marriage | Jonathan Pageau & Adam Lane Smith

    MAR 6

    The Forgotten Attachment Psychology of Biblical Marriage | Jonathan Pageau & Adam Lane Smith

    Most people have been sold a version of marriage that's either a power grab or a slow sacrifice into nothing. This conversation dismantles both. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jonathan Pageau, symbolic artist, Orthodox Christian thinker, and author, to go deep on what Biblical marriage actually asks of a man, what it gives a woman, and why the model most people are running has nothing to do with Christianity. What you'll learn in this conversation: → Why hierarchy in a Christian marriage looks nothing like the Roman model most people are reacting against → What it actually means for a husband to "die to self" and why it's not what you think → The covenant framework God uses with Israel and what it reveals about secure attachment in marriage → How oxytocin, the nervous system, and masculine sacrifice are biologically connected → Why women become contemptuous of men who collapse into the home and what a wife actually needs → The undervalued power of the feminine private sphere and why dismissing it is destroying families → What repair looks like inside a covenant and why so many Christians don't believe it's available to them → How the seasons of a woman's life create a different kind of contribution than a man's and why that's worth honoring If you've been told that submission means suffering, or that self-sacrifice means disappearing, this conversation will give you a language for something you've felt but couldn't name. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through.  Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/ --- Jonathan Pageau's website: thesymbolicworld.com Jonathan's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/jonathanpageau Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro    X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith    Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/   I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

    47 min
  7. Attachment Styles at Work: Why Avoidant Leaders Destroy Companies

    MAR 4

    Attachment Styles at Work: Why Avoidant Leaders Destroy Companies

    80% of management strategies create addiction and fear. Your best employees aren’t burning out because they’re weak. They’re burning out because you’re running their nervous system on the wrong chemical. You keep giving them dopamine: bonuses, titles, corner offices. And every single hit requires a bigger one tomorrow just to feel the same. Meanwhile, their cortisol climbs higher with every promotion, every new responsibility, every quarter where the targets get bigger and the recognition gets emptier. This is the episode where Adam Lane Smith and Andrey Korikov break down the Secure Loyalty Formula: the biochemical equation that separates companies people would fight for from companies people quietly escape from. Adam’s recent TEDx talk introduced Bio Loyalty: the concept that real human loyalty isn’t built through manipulation or incentive structures. It’s built the same way a healthy family is built: through deep need fulfillment that makes people genuinely want to stay. Most companies have never even considered this. They’re running the same addiction cycle they use in bad relationships: give a hit, withdraw the hit, punish for not performing, repeat. The equation is simple: Attraction + Commitment ÷ Cortisol. Most companies only target attraction. That’s the dopamine. That’s the “we are all family here” lie. That’s the pizza party nobody asked for. What’s missing is the commitment piece: vasopressin bonding through shared achievement, serotonin through genuine belonging, and cortisol managed at the right level so people actually care without being crushed. In this episode, you’ll learn why two thirds of dopamine is just anticipation (and why the reward never feels as good as you imagined), why avoidant leaders scoff at loyalty and only understand manipulation, why Gen Z isn’t lazy but has been dopamine burned out since birth, the difference between the Secure Love Formula and the Secure Loyalty Formula, how Japanese work culture got the bonding right but destroyed their people in the process, why anxious and disorganized employees are actually more likely to become deeply loyal, the mentorship model that builds tribal belonging instead of learned helplessness, and the three steps any leader can deploy today to start building the Secure Work Home Balance. This conversation breaks down the nervous system science applied to how humans actually bond in professional environments: the same biochemistry that builds lasting marriages, applied to building teams that stay, perform, and recruit your next best hire for you. The research shows teams built on this formula are up to 30% more productive and 30% more profitable. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/

    1h 4m
  8. Your Body Keeps Score When You Stop Feeling (The Attachment Style Nobody Talks About)

    FEB 21

    Your Body Keeps Score When You Stop Feeling (The Attachment Style Nobody Talks About)

    She schedules her crying every week. She hasn't processed a single painful experience in her entire life. And her body is keeping score. Raina is a brand strategist, agency owner, mother of two, and one of the most high-functioning people you'll ever meet. She's also been running on pure survival mode since childhood; dissociating from every emotion that slowed her down and treating the people around her like objects she navigates around instead of humans she connects with. In this episode, Adam breaks down how quiet disorganized attachment combined with autistic features creates a double-layered wall between someone and every person who's ever tried to love them. He explains why "understanding why someone hurt you" isn't the same as forgiving them; it's actually stripping them of their humanity. And he walks Raina through the exact moment her nervous system learned that love is just a setup for betrayal. his conversation covers: Why high-functioning women with chronic dissociation often develop autoimmune disorders by their mid-30s The difference between short-term dissociation (useful) and lifelong dissociation (destructive) How your brain processes trauma using left brain logic and right brain emotion; and why it gets stuck What happens when you remove someone's agency by excusing everything they do Kohlberg's morality scale and why you should only open up to the top 10% The "resolve and repair" model for confronting people without rupturing the relationship Why the people who confused you in your life were probably the ones who loved you most How 40 collaborative conversations in 90 days can rewire your neural pathways If you've ever been told you're "cold" when you're actually terrified; this one's for you. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/

    1h 23m
See All (100)

4.7
out of 5
53 Ratings

About

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

Information

  • Creator
    Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    I Wish You Knew

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