I Wish You Knew

Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
  • 4.7 (61)
  • Relationships
  • Weekly

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

  1. Oct 28

    The Real Reason You Feel Like You Don't Matter | John R. Miles & Adam Lane Smith

    He was CIO at Dell managing a billion and a half dollar budget. And he could not tell if he was valued more than the piece of furniture he was sitting in. Most people are living with that same feeling without knowing what it is. Adam Lane Smith sits down with John R. Miles, author of The Mattering Effect, to break down why the question “do I even matter?” is driving a global crisis and what it takes to build a life where your presence is felt rather than performed. 💬 Ready to transform your attachment? Work directly with me & my team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/22 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ - Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes:  https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/22 What you will learn in this video: 1- Why loneliness burnout and depression are not separate problems but symptoms of the same root cause  2- Why mattering is social immunity and what happens when it disappears  3- Why insecure attachment trains people to believe they are only worth what they produce  4- The four stepping stones from internal worth to impact and why most people never get past the first  5- Why belonging and mattering are completely different and why confusing them keeps people stuck  6- What it means to build a life where your presence changes the room 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/20 Connect with me on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ John R Miles Socials:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles/ ,  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m , https://x.com/John_RMiles , LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmileshumanperformanceexpert/ ,  Website: https://johnrmhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmileshumanperformanceexpert/iles.com/

  2. Oct 23

    Why Men Pull Back When They're Hurting (And How To Help Them) | Dr Aaron Kheriaty

    Stress has gone down by almost every historical measure. Suffering has gone up. Those turn out to be different things. In this episode, attachment expert Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Kheriaty to ask why despair is rising in a culture organized around comfort, what the attempt to eliminate all discomfort has cost, and what ordinary people can do for someone struggling. The conversation covers the research on loneliness and risk, why intervention works more often than people assume, and why small acts of attention matter more than they look like they should. If you’re struggling, please reach out. In the US and Canada, call or text 988. In the UK and Ireland, call 116 123. Elsewhere, findahelpline.com lists services by country. Private Coaching, Apply Here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/16iwyk 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=10/16iwyk In this episode you will learn:  1- Why reduced external stress has not produced reduced suffering  2- What deaths of despair are, and what has happened to the numbers since 1999  3- Why solitude and loneliness are not the same thing  4- The three reasons religious practice shows up as protective in the research  5- What people who survived a crisis later said about it  6- Why hopelessness predicts risk better than severity of illness does  7- Why more clinicians alone cannot solve a problem rooted in isolation  8- The paradox: how trying to eliminate all discomfort produces more suffering  9- Why addiction is that paradox in its clearest form  10- How joy and suffering can occupy the same moment  11- Three concrete things to do, and a gratitude practice with unusually strong evidence behind it Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, MD, is a physician specializing in psychiatry and author of five books, including most recently, Making the Cut: How to Heal Modern Medicine (2025). He is a Fellow & Director of the Program in Bioethics, Technology, and Human Flourishing at the Ethics and Public Policy Center Connect with me on your second preferred platform:  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

  3. Oct 12

    Why Modern Dating Is Failing Those Seeking Marriage | Emily & Daniel Hussem

    She had 7000 comments on a single matchmaking post. Thirty of those people are now married. Six babies have been born. And it all started because she asked one question: what if I just tried to help? Adam Lane Smith sits down with Emily and Daniel Hussem, co-founders of Sacred Spark, a Catholic dating app, to break down why finding a spouse has never been harder, what the collapse of friend and family networks has done to an entire generation of people who desperately want marriage, and what is actually working to bring good people together. 🚨 My biggest coaching sale of the year is on and you can save 30% on coaching. Apply Here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/8iwyk 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=10/8iwyk In this episode you will learn:  1- How couples used to meet, and what replaced it  2- Why friends have stopped introducing each other, and what that costs  3- What thirty marriages from a single matchmaking post says about unmet demand  4- Why a dating app's business model works against the outcome its users want  5- The difference between being ready to date and wanting to be  6- Why so many faith communities make marriage sound like an endurance test  7- What the research actually says about married life, and where the stereotypes come from  8- A hundred years of family networks breaking down, traced decade by decade  9- What leading and being led looks like in a marriage where both people are secure  10- Why brotherhood and sisterhood take pressure off a marriage rather than competing with it  11- Red flags compared with personal triggers, and the only way to tell them apart  12- Why "I don't feel a spark" after four months is usually about something else Emily Wilson Hussem - Co-Founder SacredSpark, Inc.   Emily Wilson Hussem is an internationally recognized Catholic speaker and author who shares her faith both online and at events around the globe. Emily has written 7 books, including the #1 Christian bestseller Sincerely, Stoneheart: Unmask the Enemy's Lies, Find the Truth That Sets You Free.   Daniel Hussem - Co-Founder SacredSpark, Inc.   Daniel Hussem is a husband, father of three, and a passionate Catholic with over a decade of experience in marketing, product strategy, and technology from the tech-startup world. Daniel holds a Master's degree in Business & Economics from Tilburg University in the Netherlands. Connect with me on your second preferred platform:  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/  🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro  𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/  🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Links: https://www.youtube.com/@emwilss  https://www.instagram.com/emwilss  https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielhussem/?isSelfProfile=false

  4. Oct 1

    What Happens When Two Avoidants Fall in Love | Relationship Psychology Explained

    Everyone said it could not work. Two avoidant people in the same relationship. Two people wired to pull back, protect themselves, and disappear the moment things get close. And then Carly and Mel proved everyone wrong. Adam Lane Smith sits down with couple Carly Randall and Mel Shingleton, two self-proclaimed avoidants, for a live coaching session that answers the question everyone in the comments has been asking: can two avoidant people actually build something real together? 🚨 My biggest coaching sale of the year is on and you can save 30% on coaching. Apply Here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=10/1 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=10/1 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social In this episode you will learn: 1- Why two avoidant people create a specific kind of relationship dynamic that looks fine on the surface and quietly starves underneath  2- Why avoidant people are not afraid of commitment they are afraid of the cost of being truly known  3- What emotional permanence is and why avoidant people struggle to hold onto the relationship when the other person is not in the room  4- Why the avoidant nervous system spikes when intimacy grows instead of relaxing into it  5- What context is and why it is the single most important currency two avoidant people have with each other  6- Why quarterly relationship check ins work better for avoidant couples than constant emotional processing  7- What it actually looks like when two avoidant people start doing the work in real time  8- The one thing avoidant partners need to say to each other that most of them never say Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

  5. Sep 24

    What God Wants From Men: How to Build True Masculinity | Met. Jonah & Adam Lane Smith

    We have talked about masculinity and manhood on this show before. Today is the mature version of that conversation, going back to the oldest teachings we have. In this episode, attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith sits down with His Eminence Metropolitan Jonah, retired primate of the Orthodox Church in America, rector of St. Herman's Church and Abbot of St. Demetrios Monastery, for a conversation about what forms a man.  💬  Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/24 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/24 In this episode you will learn: 1- Why so many young men have no working model of a man, and what that costs them 2 - What it looks like for a father to nurture, and why the word gets mocked online 3 - Why a father's role with a son and with a daughter cannot be filled by anyone else 4- The distinction between servant leadership and authority that serves itself 5 - Why male friendship has thinned out, and the Russian word for the friend who is your other self 6- Why a marriage cannot carry every burden both people bring home 7 - The third way between swallowing every feeling and collapsing into all of them 8 - What asceticism actually asks of you, and why self-control is a threshold of maturity 9 - The nous, the two aspects of the mind, and what the Western tradition left behind 10 - Why responsibility without shame is the mature form of all of this Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam Metropolitan Jonah was born James Paffhausen in Chicago to a German American Episcopalian family, and was raised in Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Diego. While studying at the University of California, he discovered the Russian Orthodox Church and was received into the faith in 1978 at age 19. After completing his BA in Anthropology at UC Santa Cruz, he attended St. Vladimir's Seminary, earning both a Master of Divinity and a Master of Theology in Dogmatics. He later worked in real estate finance and for the OCA Diocese of the West, and resumed doctoral studies in theology at Berkeley before traveling to Russia in 1993, where he became a novice at Valaam Monastery. Upon returning to the United States, he was ordained a hierodeacon and then a hieromonk in 1994, serving St. Mary Magdalene Mission in Merced, California, and helping to establish several new missions.

    What God Wants From Men: How to Build True Masculinity | Met. Jonah & Adam Lane Smith

  6. Sep 18

    The Truth About ADHD VS Attachment Trauma in Relationships | Dr. Steven Storage & Adam Lane Smith

    ADHD, attachment, trauma, anxiety, and stress can look surprisingly similar. So how do you know what you’re actually dealing with? Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Steven Storage to unpack what ADHD really looks like, how it affects relationships, what a proper assessment involves, and where medication, sleep, nutrition, movement, and behavioral work fit in. 💬  Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/17 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/17 In this episode you will learn: 1 - Why overlapping symptoms make self-diagnosis unreliable, and what curiosity is actually good for 2 - Why a diagnosis explains behavior without excusing it 3 - How growing up with ADHD features can shape attachment, including through a parent with the same wiring 4 - What the condition involves beyond attention: time blindness, impulse control, task initiation, and thought loops 5 - Where the strengths sit, and what happens when hyperfocus lands somewhere other than the relationship 6 - Why the quiet, high-achieving kid is often missed while the disruptive one is caught early 7 - What a thorough assessment includes, and why medication is one tool rather than the whole plan 8 - Practical systems: the five minute rule, the Eisenhower matrix, timed sprints, and breaking distant goals into visible wins 9 - For parents: why yelling works in the moment and costs you later, and what connection over correction looks like 10 - For partners: written lists over spoken ones, clear targets, shared activity, and time-limited conversations Links:  IG: https://www.instagram.com/drstevenstorage/  YT:  https://www.youtube.com/@dr_steven_storage/shorts  Dr. Steven Storage is a doctor at the Amen Clinics in California. He is a diplomate of the Medical Board of California for Physicians and Surgeons and a diplomate in both Child/Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry for the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. He graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, magna cum laude with a degree in molecular and cell biology and earned his medical degree from the University of California, Los Angeles School of Medicine.  Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

  7. Sep 11

    The Real Reason Your Husband Is Pulling Away | Laura Doyle & Adam Lane Smith

    Trying harder to fix your marriage can leave you exhausted, resentful, and convinced you’re married to a man who doesn’t care. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with The Surrendered Wife author Laura Doyle to challenge what happens when fear turns into control, why stepping back can give a capable husband room to step forward, and how desire, receptivity, gratitude, and respect can change the dynamic between husband and wife. 💬 Ready to work with me? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/10 📋 Learn your attachment style - take my free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=socialiwyk&utm_content=9/10 🎥 Watch my main channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg  In this episode you will learn: 1- Why overperforming in your marriage can leave you feeling like the only responsible adult 2- What can happen when you stop automatically taking over and give your husband room to contribute 3- Why “he doesn’t care” may not tell the whole story when your husband doesn’t know what would actually make you happy 4- How the phrase “I would love…” communicates a desire without turning it into criticism or a demand 5- Why receiving help, affection, gifts, and care can be difficult for women who are used to handling everything themselves 6- How gratitude can change both the way you see your husband and the way the two of you respond to each other 7- Why respect and a clean apology can restore connection faster than defending or explaining your criticism You don’t have to carry every responsibility, anticipate every problem, and manage your husband into becoming the partner you want. Sometimes changing the marriage starts with making your desires clear, allowing him the opportunity to respond, receiving what he gives, and noticing what happens when you stop treating control as the only thing keeping your life together. Connect with me on your second preferred platform: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam

    The Real Reason Your Husband Is Pulling Away | Laura Doyle & Adam Lane Smith

  8. Aug 27

    How to Get Out of Your Head and Feel Like Yourself Again | Mark Walsh & Adam Lane Smith

    Disembodiment rarely announces itself. It can look like fatigue, unexplained aches, trouble concentrating, or difficulty feeling close to the people around you. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with embodiment expert Mark Walsh to unpack what happens when we stop listening to the body, and how rebuilding that connection can help you feel more present, connected, and human again. 💬 Ready to work with Adam and his team? Apply here: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 📋 Learn your attachment style - take Adam’ free quiz: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/attachment-quiz-organic/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27  👥 Free Secure Attachment Community - 7k+ members: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-free?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 🔒 Join the inner circle - get weekly live training from Adam and his Coaching Team: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=8/27 In this episode you will learn: 1- Why the body whispers, then sings, then screams, and what it costs you to keep turning the volume up over it 2- What Mark calls the psychological apocalypse, and why the collapse may have already happened  3- The four connections modernity severed: to the body, to community, to nature, and to a higher power  4- Why treating yourself as a machine is the same habit that lets you treat everyone else as one 5- What co-regulation actually is, and why it’s more than therapy 6- Why chasing pleasure as a cure tends to land people somewhere worse 7- Where to start: one embodied practice you can fall in love with, and how to pick the one that fits what you're missing You don’t need to think your way back into connection. Sometimes the way back to yourself, other people, and the world around you starts with learning to inhabit your own body again. Mark is an expert in embodied learning, emotional intelligence, and practical psychology. His work focuses on helping individuals and organizations improve their performance and well-being through the mind-body connection. He has a fascinating background, with extensive training in martial arts, mindfulness, and various psychological disciplines. Mark has also taught in over 50 countries, including working with the UN and humanitarian projects in war zones.  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro 𝕏 : https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/ 🎥 https://www.youtube.com/@AttachmentAdam/videos 🧵Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam  Mark Walsh:  🎥YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Theembodimentchannel 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warkmalsh/  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/embodimentunlimited  🌐 Website: https://embodimentunlimited.com/

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4.7
out of 5
61 Ratings

About

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

Information

  • Creator
    Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    I Wish You Knew

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