#ParentingTeens #TeenParenting #ExecutiveFunctioning #ADHDParenting #NeurodivergentTeens #TeenMentalHealth #TimeBlindness #ParentingADHD #TeenDevelopment #ExecutiveFunctioningSkills #ParentingSupport #NeurodivergentParenting #ParentingPodcast #Teenagers #EducationalAdvocacy Have you ever wondered how your teenager can spend hours gaming, scrolling TikTok, or hanging out with friends—but somehow can't get ready for school, start their homework, remember what they need, or get out the door on time? And then you find yourself thinking: “They can do it when they want to. So why won't they do it?” What if the problem isn't motivation, laziness, defiance, or not caring? In this episode of Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's World, I sit down with Dr. Anna Levy-Warren, licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, founder of Organizational Tutors, and an expert in executive functioning, to unpack what's really happening underneath these everyday struggles. With more than 20 years of experience working in psychology and education—and as a parent herself—Anna brings both professional expertise and lived experience to this conversation. What you'll learn about executive functioningExecutive functioning isn't one single skill. It's an interconnected set of cognitive processes that help us manage things like: Working memorySelf-regulationMental flexibilityPlanningTask initiationDecision-makingTime managementAttentionOrganizationGoal-settingAnd when these skills are developing differently, the impact can show up everywhere—not just at school. Why can your teen remember every song but forget three instructions?We talk about the difference between long-term memory and working memory, and why a teenager can remember an incredible amount of information but still forget what you just asked them to do. “Go get ready for school” might sound like one simple instruction to a parent. For a teen with working-memory challenges, it can actually contain a whole series of steps that are difficult to hold onto and execute. Is your teen experiencing time blindness?If you're sitting in the car with the engine running while your teenager is still inside getting ready, this part of the conversation is for you. Anna explains time blindness and why some teens don't experience time in the same way their parents do. We talk about: Working backwards from a deadlineBuilding in extra timeUsing alarms and visual remindersCreating routines collaborativelyReducing verbal remindersHelping teens build their own systems rather than constantly managing themStop calling it lazinessOne of the biggest themes in this conversation is the difference between “won't” and “can't yet.” A teen may genuinely want to do something and still struggle to initiate it, organize it, estimate the time required, or shift away from something they are deeply engaged in. And yes, your teen may be able to play video games for three hours. That doesn't necessarily mean they are capable of transferring that same level of attention and executive functioning to a math assignment. Motivation isn't the whole storyWe also challenge the idea that a teenager is simply “motivated” when they want to do something and “unmotivated” when they don't. Adults work this way too. There are things we can do for hours because we enjoy them—and things we procrastinate on despite knowing they need to be done. So what happens when we stop treating our teenagers like they're deliberately making our lives difficult and start looking at what support the task actually requires? Your teen's chronological age isn't necessarily their developmental ageA 16-year-old is chronologically 16. But their executive functioning skills don't necessarily develop in a perfectly linear way. Your teen might be incredibly mature in one area and need significantly more scaffolding in another. We talk about why parents need to look at the developmental skill required by the task, rather than simply assuming that a teenager should be able to do something because of their age. Executive functioning affects more than schoolWe also explore how executive functioning can affect: Friendships and social relationshipsSocial media usePhone regulationImpulsivityPlanning social activitiesExtracurricular activitiesSleepEatingFuture planningCollege preparationEmotional regulationKnowing when to stopWhat should parents do instead?This conversation is packed with practical strategies, including: Collaborate instead of command. Instead of putting the problem between you and your teen, put the problem in front of both of you and work on it together. Use visual cues. Post-it notes, calendars, written instructions, alarms and other visual systems can reduce the endless parent-teen verbal ping-pong. Talk less when everyone is activated. When your teenager's nervous system is overwhelmed, more talking usually isn't the answer. Work backwards. Start with the time your teen needs to be somewhere and work backwards to determine when they need to begin getting ready. Build the system with your teen. The goal isn't for you to become your teenager's external executive functioning system forever. It's to gradually help them develop systems they can eventually use independently. The family calendarAnna has a particular obsession with the family calendar—and after this conversation, I can see why. A shared visual calendar can help teenagers anticipate what's coming, understand competing demands, see how much time they actually have, and participate in planning their own lives. Instead of: “You have a test Monday!” Try: “Let's look at the week together. You have a test, you want to see your friends, and we have Grandma's birthday. How can we make all of this work?” That's the shift. From control → collaboration. From consequences → curiosity. From telling → problem-solving together. About Dr. Anna Levy-WarrenDr. Anna Levy-Warren is a licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, and founder of Organizational Tutors, a company that connects students and families with customized executive functioning support. Her work focuses on helping young people develop the skills they need to navigate academics, relationships, emotional growth, organization, and everyday life. Connect with Dr. AnnaLearn more about Dr. Anna Levy-Warren and Organizational Tutors through the link in the episode resources. Connect with CherylI'm Cheryl Pankhurst, Educational Strategist and Family Advocate, and host of Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's World. If your teenager is struggling at school, navigating a new diagnosis, transitioning to high school, or you need help understanding assessments, IEPs, accommodations, or how to advocate effectively within the school system, you can work with me directly. Visit CherylPankhurst.com to learn more and book a complimentary consultation. And remember: It's not them. It's you. And that's where the magic happens. If this episode gave you a different way to understand your teenager, share it with another parent. You never know who needs to hear that their teen isn't simply being lazy, defiant, or unmotivated.
