Because I'm Healing

Asha Wilkerson
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Spirituality
  • Updated Weekly

You did everything right. And still... something's off. Not quite broken, but not quite right either. Because I've Healed is for high-achieving Black women who are ready to stop performing and come home to themselves. We have real conversations and give real solutions. Asha Wilkerson is a former attorney, healing guide, and retreat curator in Lisbon, Portugal. She's been where you are. She got out., and she came back to get you! New episodes drop regularly. Go deeper with Love Notes, a weekly email for women ready to trust themselves again.

  1. 5d ago

    Ep 70: Celebrate: Why Celebrating Yourself Is An Act of Resistance

    Welcome to the third week of October! This month on the podcast, we are continuing our deep dive into celebrating ourselves. If you are anything like me, celebrating probably wasn't something you were encouraged to do growing up. High performance was expected, and staying humble, or deflective, was seen as a virtue to keep from appearing cocky, conceited, or "braggadocious".   In this episode, I unpack the historical, brain-based, social, and political reasons why high-achievers, and Black women in particular, struggle to take ownership of their wins. Drawing on Dr. Joy DeGruy’s work on Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome, we look at how minimizing our success started as a protective survival mechanism to avoid standing out or being separated from community.   I also share how I caught myself using these same deferral tactics as a college professor, and why continuing to outsource your recognition keeps your nervous system trapped in hypervigilance and high blood pressure. When you practice celebrating yourself, you reclaim your sovereignty, quiet the physical stress in your body, and embody a contagiously regulated Black joy that sets everyone around you free.   Key TakeawaysHistorical Protective Minimization: Unpacking Dr. Joy DeGruy’s research on how Black parents historically deflected praise to protect their children from harm during enslavement and how that subconscious survival mechanism persists today.The Safety of the Crowd: Why human beings and specific cultures (like post-dictatorship Portugal) instinctively play in the middle of the crowd to avoid standing out as a target.The Danger of Constant Deferral: How giving all the credit to everyone else trains others and your own mind to believe you didn't drive the success, outsourcing your innate power.Somatic Impact of Hypervigilance: How bracing for a fight and refusing to acknowledge your own magic manifests physically as elevated shoulders, stomach aches, and hypertension.Black Joy as Resistance & Freedom: Why occupying space, experiencing unbridled joy (like playing Double Dutch in the street!), and celebrating yourself dismantles white supremacy and anti-Black regulation.  (00:00) - The Importance for the Brain(02:17) - Historical Context of Celebration and Self-Praise(06:51) - The Psychological Impact of Minimizing Achievements(10:52) - The Physical Effects of Not Celebrating Wins(14:15) - Celebration as an Act of Resistance(18:25) - Embracing Joy and Community   Resources MentionedBook / Scholar Mentioned: Dr. Joy DeGruy, author of Post-Traumatic Slave SyndromeCultural History: Portuguese Post-Dictatorship Social DynamicsConnect with Asha:Follow on Instagram: @ashawilkersonesqConnect on Threads: @ashawilkersonesqWork with Asha & Explore Offerings: ashasplacelisbon.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 70: Celebrate: Why Celebrating Yourself Is An Act of Resistance

  2. Oct 13

    Ep 69: Celebrate: Breaking the Cycles You Carried from Childhood

    Welcome to the second week of October! This month, we are talking all about celebrating, but today I want to address something I saw on Threads recently that completely caught my attention. Someone responded to a question about regrets by saying, "I regret healing." I completely understand why healing can feel that way. When we treat healing like a never-ending item on our to-do list, like getting another degree or another promotion, it becomes exhausting. But healing isn't about fixing something that is broken. It is the process of processing reality, coming back to our "zero point" before trauma, and celebrating the revelations that set us free. In this episode, I get vulnerable about a massive revelation I had recently. As a recovering people-pleaser and the daughter of a textbook narcissist, I learned early on to shape-shift, over-give, and manage relationships to keep the peace. Last month, I realized I was repeating that exact childhood pattern in my business in Lisbon, giving away so much that I was becoming resentful. Instead of spiraling, I got excited. Recognizing the pattern gave me the exact opportunity I needed to change it, set real boundaries, and include myself in my vision of justice.  Key TakeawaysRedefining Healing: Healing is not a list of endless tasks or proof that you are broken. It is the practice of integrating reality so old emotional patterns no longer dictate your future.The Natural Healing Cycle & The Zero Point: Trauma moves us away from our baseline "zero point". Healing is the journey back to that original state of love and self-acceptance.Spotting Childhood Patterns in Adulthood: How survival strategies learned in childhood, like over-giving, shape-shifting, and avoiding conflict, secretly show up in romantic relationships, friendships, and even business operations.Including Yourself in Justice: Generosity that requires your own resentment isn't altruism. True balance means putting your needs on the scale alongside everyone else's.Celebrating Revelations: Hard realizations are not failures; they are exciting opportunities to break generational cycles and protect your peace. (00:00) - Celebrating Healing and Self-Reflection(05:06) - Understanding Trauma and Its Impact(09:54) - Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth(14:28) - Business Dynamics and Personal Patterns  Resources MentionedFramework: The Natural Healing Cycle (Trauma ➔ Trigger ➔ Integration ➔ Zero Point)Connect with Asha:Follow on Instagram: @ashawilkersonesqConnect on Threads: @ashawilkersonesqWork with Asha: ashasplacelisbon.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 69: Celebrate: Breaking the Cycles You Carried from Childhood

  3. Oct 6

    Ep 68: Celebrate: Building Self-Trust Beyond Other People’s Approval

    Welcome to the first week of October! I am so glad you are here. This month on the podcast, we are talking all about celebration, partly because it is my birth month (hello, Libra season!), but also because of something that has been showing up consistently in my recent tarot card readings. Lately, when I hold space for women asking about their relationships, the Justice card keeps coming out. The message is always about doing what is fair and right, but I notice that the person I am reading for rarely includes themselves in their vision of justice. As a recovering people-pleaser, I know this pattern intimately. I naturally balance all sides of a story, but I had to learn that to truly balance the scales, I have to put my own wants, needs, and desires into the equation too. This month, I want you to focus on celebrating you. Not in relation to other people, not only after all your responsibilities are finished, and not just when society validates you. In this episode, I share a simple 7-day daily practice to write down your wins, from cooking dinner for yourself to winning a new client, so you can start collecting data on your own value, building self-trust, and protecting your peace.   Key TakeawaysIncluding Yourself in Justice: Fairness isn't just about how you treat others; true balance requires including your own needs and desires in the equation.The Power of the Micro-Win: Celebrating small daily choices (like eating breakfastUncoupling Worth from Productivity: Your existence is already a gift to the world. You do not have to earn your right to celebrate or prove your value through constant output or self-sacrifice.Harvesting Your Seeds: October marks harvest season, a time to recognize the seeds you've planted over the past months or years before moving into winter rest and hibernation.Celebration as Boundary Protection: Acknowledging your own impact makes it significantly easier to say no to things that drain you and prioritize your peace without guilt.  (00:00) - Celebrating Yourself and the Justice Card(00:30) - Putting Yourself in the Picture of Fairness(01:30) - How to Start a Daily Wins List(02:27) - Small Wins Build Self-Trust and Confidence(02:54) - Recognizing Your Inherent Self-Worth(03:21) - Letting Go of People-Pleasing and Proving Yourself(04:16) - A Simple Daily Self-Celebration Practice(04:46) - How Self-Celebration Can Change Your Relationships(05:13) - Fall, Harvest Season, and Recognizing Your Growth(06:10) - A Seven-Day Self-Worth Challenge(07:08) - How Celebrating Your Wins Helps You Set Boundaries(08:01) - Putting Your Needs First and Protecting Your Peace(08:31) - Your Daily Self-Celebration Practice   Resources MentionedTarot Archetype: The Justice CardConnect with Asha:Follow on Instagram: @ashawilkersonesqConnect on Threads: @ashawilkersonesqWork with Asha & Book a Private Session: ashawilkerson.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 68: Celebrate: Building Self-Trust Beyond Other People’s Approval

  4. Sep 29

    Ep 67: Protecting Your Power: The Empath’s Guide to Boundaries

    In this final installment of the Reclaiming Your Personal Power series, I explore how highly empathic people can protect their energetic boundaries without sacrificing their compassion. Reflecting on my transition from legal practice and higher education to running Asha's Place Lisbon, I share real-life examples of how unhealed people-pleasing and old family dynamics can pull us into fixing other people's emotional chaos, and I provide a framework for separating what is yours to hold from what belongs to someone else.   Key Takeaways Empathy vs. Empathic Perception: Empathy allows you to understand and care for someone else's experience, while being an empath means physically absorbing their emotional state. Power lies in learning to separate your energy from theirs.The Pause as Energetic Protection: When confronted with conflict, dissatisfaction, or external reactivity, taking a step back to process gives you space to respond from a grounded place rather than react from defensiveness.Uncoupling Blame from Responsibility: Unresolved childhood dynamics, such as managing an unpredictable parent's emotions, often teach us to absorb misplaced blame. Maturing as an empath means recognizing that another person's dysregulation is not yours to fix.Protecting Business & Personal Energy: Responding to client feedback or misunderstandings from an anxious desire to "fix it right now" surrenders your personal power. Objective distance helps you hold your boundaries while staying clear and kind.  (00:00) - Reclaiming Your Personal Power (00:38) - Customer Service, People-Pleasing & Emotional Burnout (02:17) - Protecting Your Energy as an Introvert (03:30) - Empathy vs. Being an Empath (05:07) - Separating Your Emotions From Other People’s Emotions (07:05) - Childhood Patterns, Emotional Manipulation & Boundaries (11:16) - Handling Client Complaints Without Losing Your Power (14:48) - How Pausing Helps You Respond Instead of React (16:01) - Emotional Regulation, Self-Awareness & Healthy Boundaries (17:15) - Setting Boundaries With Parents and Family (20:10) - Responding to Criticism, Feedback & Difficult Customers (21:15) - A Practice for Healers, People-Pleasers & Adult Children (22:22) - Reclaim Your Energy and Personal Power   Resources Mentioned Asha's Place Lisbon: Studio offerings, workshops, and community circles. Explore the classes HEREThreads: Join the conversation with me @ashawilkersonesq.Love Notes: Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for updates on online courses, memberships, and studio events. Sign up HERE. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 67: Protecting Your Power: The Empath’s Guide to Boundaries

  5. Sep 22

    Ep 66: Somatic Wisdom: How Your Body Perceives What Your Eyes Can’t

    In this episode, I explore how connecting with your spirituality and intuition serves as a primary doorway to reclaiming your personal power. Grounding the esoteric in high school physics, I break down how we are energetic beings who constantly perceive invisible information, why society conditions us to ignore our innate body wisdom, and how honoring your physical data directly increases your personal power and self-trust.   Key Takeaways The Physics of Intuition: Everything is made of energy. Human beings are electrical beings designed to pick up on unseeable data, intuition is simply your body processing real information before your brain applies logic.Body Data as Power: Tapping into physical sensations (like a sudden drop in your stomach or an ache in your chest) gives you more information to make aligned choices about your career, business, and relationships.Redefining Spirituality: Spirituality isn’t about external dogma, complex rituals, or moral control. True spirituality is your internal connection with yourself as a valid, trusted energy source.Life Force Within: Practices like yoga and breathwork teach us that life force energy (prana or qi) is already inside us. Listening to your body is a direct connection to universal consciousness.Sovereignty in Action: Making choices based on your body’s intelligence, such as resting in bed while working instead of forcing yourself into a rigid chair, builds self-trust and true autonomy.  (00:00) — Spirituality, intuition, and personal power (00:29) — Why intuition makes sense scientifically (00:58) — Energy, physics, and human awareness (02:22) — Energy perception and energetic shifts (03:49) — Intuition as information (05:36) — The limits of logic vs body wisdom (07:32) — Spirituality as self-connection (09:29) — Spirituality vs control and oppression (10:30) — Breath, prana, qi, and life force energy (11:58) — Reclaiming power through embodied decisions (12:54) — A real-life example: moving to Portugal (14:50) — Rest, intuition, and productive flow (15:50) — Spiritual practice as empowerment   Resources Mentioned Asha's Place Lisbon: Studio offerings, bodywork, and community circles.Threads: Connect and share your reflections with me @ashawilkersonesq.Email List Community (Love Notes): Join my email list for updates on new online offerings, courses, and studio events.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 66: Somatic Wisdom: How Your Body Perceives What Your Eyes Can’t

  6. Sep 15

    Ep 65: The Systems Keeping You Exhausted and How to Rebel

    Spurred by a discussion on Threads about creating a life that supports the nervous system rather than constantly forcing it to adapt, I unpack why exhaustion in a capitalist society isn't a personal failure. I explore the historical roots of modern capitalism and explain why you shouldn't expect your nervous system to go quiet in the face of a genuine threat, along with how small, daily micro-acts of rebellion allow you to reclaim your personal power.   Key Takeaways Systemic Design of Burnout: Capitalism is built to keep us busy and depleted so there is no time or energy left to analyze, question, or rebel against the system.Rebellion Over Adaptation: Instead of trying to force your nervous system to adapt to overwhelming environments, true power lies in rebelling, slowing down, setting firm boundaries, and choosing where your energy goes.Listen, Don't Silence: Your nervous system freaks out because it perceives a threat; the goal isn't to silence or force it into compliance, but to listen to its data and move away from the threat.Generational Shifts in Autonomy: Autonomy and the ability to push back look different across generations; honoring how much room you have to rebel allows you to take calculated risks for your peace.Micro-Acts of Power: Reclaiming your power starts with accessible micro-decisions, taking a breath before answering the phone, closing your inbox early, or taking a walk instead of forcing another meeting.    (00:00) – Intro: Black Women, Recovery, and Nervous System Support (01:22) – Reclaiming Personal Power in a Capitalist System (03:16) – Rest Is Resistance and the History of Capitalism (07:07) – Burnout, Recovery, and Living a Life of Ease (08:01) – Small Acts of Rebellion to Reclaim Energy (09:29) – Generational Differences, Career Pressure, and Rebellion (12:46) – Nervous System Regulation and Listening to Your Body (14:42) – How to Start Reclaiming Power Today (16:35) – Closing Thoughts and Listener Call to Action   Resources Mentioned Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia HerseyThreads: Join the conversation with me @ashawilkersonesqLove Notes: Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for updates on online courses, studio events, and community offerings Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 65: The Systems Keeping You Exhausted and How to Rebel

  7. Sep 8

    Ep 64: Reclaiming Personal Power: Are You Willing to Do the Work?

    I share a vulnerable look into my weekly "money dates" and paying instructors at my Lisbon studio. I open up about how financial conversations re-trigger old somatic memories from my teenage years, and why true personal power isn't about physical labor; it's about doing the internal, somatic work to grow through discomfort.   Key Takeaways The Internal Shift: True growth isn't about working harder or putting in physical labor; it's about your willingness to do the internal, emotional, and somatic work required to reach your next level.Trauma in Business: Unhealed childhood experiences, especially around money, control, and negotiation, will show up in your day-to-day business operations if left unaddressed.Self-Awareness vs. Action: Self-reflection is only the first step; moving from understanding into real action requires nervous system regulation and sitting through somatic discomfort.Power in the Choice: Deciding if you are willing to work through the stickiness of a goal reclaims your power. If you decide you aren't willing to do the work for a specific dream, letting it go is an equally empowered choice.  (00:00) — Self-Empowerment: The Work Behind Personal Growth (01:47) — Self-Sabotage, Healing & Building Self-Trust (03:39) — Money Trauma, Entrepreneurship & Nervous System Regulation (08:07) — Overcoming Financial Anxiety as a Business Owner (12:05) — Working Through Discomfort to Grow Your Business (13:13) — Personal Power: Making Empowered Decisions (16:05) — How to Stop Feeling Stuck and Reclaim Your Power (17:42) — Healing Community, Online Offerings & Staying Connected   Resources Mentioned Asha's Place Lisbon: Studio offerings, workshops, and weekly classes.Threads: Connect and share your reflections with me @ashawilkersonesq.Email List Community: Join my email list for updates on new online offerings, memberships, and courses. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 64: Reclaiming Personal Power: Are You Willing to Do the Work?

  8. Sep 1

    Ep 63: Reclaim Your Power with Your Ancestors

    What if reconnecting to yourself doesn't have to happen alone? As we wrap up our August series on reconnection, Asha talks about two powerful ways we can come home to ourselves: community and ancestry. Community can become a mirror, a place where parts of you that you've questioned or hidden are reflected back to you. When you're around people who share your values, interests, experiences, or ways of seeing the world, you may finally feel safe enough to put some of your armor down. And then there's ancestry. You don't have to know every name in your family tree. You don't need a perfect lineage. You don't even have to feel connected to your immediate family. Asha shares how connecting with the benevolent parts of her ancestry helped her realize something profound. This episode is an invitation to consider what happens when you stop trying to prove yourself and begin connecting with the people, places, and energies that remind you who you already are.  In this episode, Asha explores:Why community can act as a mirrorHow finding aligned community can help your nervous system settleThe role of co-regulation in feeling safe enough to restWhy you are allowed to create new communities as your life changesWhat to do when your family or immediate lineage doesn't feel safe or healthyWhy you don't need to know your ancestors' names to connect with ancestral energyHow to intentionally connect with the benevolent and supportive parts of your lineageAsha's experience connecting with her ancestral lineagesThe message she received: “We’ve been waiting for you.”How ancestral connection helped Asha release the pressure to prove herselfThe difference between carrying your lineage and being loyal to energy that makes you smallWhy you can let the BS goWays to begin reconnecting with community and ancestry in your own life  (00:00) - Reconnecting Through Community and Ancestry (03:17) - How to Build a Supportive Community (05:41) - Community, Safety, and Nervous System Regulation (08:25) - How to Connect With Your Ancestors Through Intention (12:20) - Ancestral Freedom, Healing, and Personal Power (13:26) - Living in Alignment and Releasing the Need to Prove Yourself (17:42) - Choosing a Healthy Ancestral Connection (19:01) - Practical Ways to Connect With Community and Ancestry   Resources & Ways to ConnectAsha mentions several resources and experiences during this episode: Meet Your Ancestral Guide Meditation - a guided practice to help you begin connecting with your ancestral energy.Meet Your Four Ancestral Lineages - a one-on-one guided meditation with Asha exploring the maternal and paternal lines on both sides.Ancestral Tarot Reading - an intuitive reading focused on the energies, gifts, messages, and wishes present within your ancestral lineage.  Connect with Asha: Threads: @ashawilkersonesqInstagram: @ashawilkersonesqWeekly Love Notes Newsletter: https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/659871/112719372217222301/share Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    Ep 63: Reclaim Your Power with Your Ancestors
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About

You did everything right. And still... something's off. Not quite broken, but not quite right either. Because I've Healed is for high-achieving Black women who are ready to stop performing and come home to themselves. We have real conversations and give real solutions. Asha Wilkerson is a former attorney, healing guide, and retreat curator in Lisbon, Portugal. She's been where you are. She got out., and she came back to get you! New episodes drop regularly. Go deeper with Love Notes, a weekly email for women ready to trust themselves again.

Information

  • Creator
    Asha Wilkerson
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    70
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Asha Wilkerson
  • Show Website
    Because I'm Healing

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