Say More About That

La Toya Carter

Hosted by La Toya, a licensed therapist-turned-creator, Say More About That helps high-functioning Black women set unapologetic boundaries, navigate emotional burnout, and reconnect with their authentic selves. Tune in for sharp insights, soft truths, and healing that moves with you—literally. New episodes every Monday!! Let’s talk about it.

  1. May 4

    Say More About Being the Strong Friend

    In this episode of Say More About That, La Toya discusses the pattern of becoming “the strong friend” everyone relies on for support without reciprocity, distinguishing it from mutually beneficial relationships. She explains how this role accumulates over time through reliability and early conditioning, then becomes an expectation that others stop questioning. She outlines the costs—persistent exhaustion, resentment that shows up as irritability or withdrawal, loneliness even when surrounded by people, and the performance of appearing fine while overwhelmed—alongside internal beliefs like “I can handle it,” “If I fall apart, everything falls apart,” “asking for help means failing,” and “I don’t want to be a burden.” La Toya encourages noticing imbalance, practicing letting others show up, and journaling who knows the real truth of how you’re doing and why it may feel unsafe to share. Stay connected... Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup 00:45 Defining the Strong Friend 01:33 How You Became the Go-To 02:47 When Strength Becomes Expectation 04:50 The Real Costs 06:32 Loneliness and Staying Polished 10:22 The Inner Scripts Keeping You Stuck 13:49 Redefining Burden and Friendship 15:15 Building Real Reciprocity 18:09 Journal Prompt and Closing

    20 min
  2. Say More About Boundary Burnout

    08/18/2025

    Say More About Boundary Burnout

    Understanding and Combating Boundary Burnout In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delves into the concept of boundary burnout—a form of emotional fatigue experienced after setting and maintaining boundaries. She explains that this exhaustion often arises from breaking old habits, managing both your emotions and those of others, and lacking recovery time. La Toya provides practical steps to combat this burnout, including starting with small boundaries, scripting responses, planning recovery time, and expecting resistance. She concludes by emphasizing the importance of mental recovery to sustain healthy boundaries and protect one's peace. Stay connected... Get the FREE⁠⁠⁠ Soft Return⁠⁠⁠ email challenge ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠. Support the show on ⁠⁠Patreon.⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction to Boundary Burnout 00:42 Defining Boundary Burnout 02:51 Reasons for Boundary Burnout 05:22 Strategies to Combat Boundary Burnout 08:26 Recovery Techniques 10:10 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

    12 min
  3. Say More About Embracing True Authenticity in Your Life

    08/04/2025

    Say More About Embracing True Authenticity in Your Life

    Unpacking the Emotional Weight of Self-Abandonment In this episode of 'Say More About That,' La Toya explores the emotional consequences of making choices that don't truly resonate with one's authentic self. She discusses the concept of core beliefs, particularly the belief of not being enough, and how it leads to self-abandonment in pursuit of external validation. The episode delves into the importance of identifying and challenging these beliefs, rewriting them, and aligning actions with one's true self. Practical steps are provided for beginning this deep emotional work, aiming to cultivate a life filled with choices that genuinely reflect who you are. ​If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment Today. Stay connected... Get the FREE⁠⁠ Soft Return⁠⁠ email challenge ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠. Support the show on ⁠Patreon.⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:10 The Trap of Self-Abandonment 01:35 Understanding Core Beliefs 02:35 Steps to Change Core Beliefs 03:41 Living Authentically 07:20 Questions for Self-Reflection

    14 min
  4. Say More About Letting Your Guard Down

    07/28/2025

    Say More About Letting Your Guard Down

    Navigating Social Anxiety and Embracing Vulnerability In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delves into the sensitive topic of social anxiety, exploring the aftermath of feeling exposed when someone makes a casual yet impactful comment. She defines social anxiety using the DSM criteria, distinguishes it from shyness, and discusses the struggle between personal identity and external perception. LaToya shares personal experiences and offers practical grounding practices for managing anxiety, emphasizing the importance of showing up authentically. She closes with a reminder of the strength it takes to be vulnerable and encourages listeners to embrace their true selves. ​If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment Today. Stay connected... Get the FREE⁠ Soft Return⁠ email challenge ⁠HERE⁠. Support the show on Patreon. Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:20 The Moment of Vulnerability 01:26 Understanding Social Anxiety 03:29 Defining Vulnerability 04:02 Identity vs. Perception 04:26 Personal Experience and Reflection 05:34 The Instinct to Retreat 10:15 Grounding Practices for Anxiety 11:51 Journal Prompts and Affirmations 12:50 Conclusion and Additional Support

    14 min
  5. Say More About Retuning to Self, because the Comeback is For you

    07/21/2025

    Say More About Retuning to Self, because the Comeback is For you

    Rediscovering Yourself: The Personal Journey of a Quiet Comeback this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya delves into the true essence of a comeback—one that is personal, internal, and not for show. Unlike the performative 'bounce back' often seen on social media, this episode emphasizes healing, self-acceptance, and quiet strength. La Toya discusses the pressures to appear okay and the struggle with overthinking, highlighting how crucial it is to reset your nervous system and genuinely connect with your inner self. The episode includes practical tips for grounding exercises, such as the '3, 3, 3' method, and encourages listeners to embrace their unique journeys of transformation. Plus, La Toya shares her own experiences in the gym and offers a free three-day nervous system reset program to help listeners on their path to self-recovery. ​If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment Today. Stay connected... Get the FREE Soft Return email challenge HERE. Join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Say More Crew!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast 00:32 The Myth of the Quick Comeback 01:28 The Quiet, Personal Comeback 02:11 Overthinking and Self-Doubt 02:32 Accepting Change and Moving Forward 03:43 Reframing Your Healing Journey 05:06 Resetting Your Nervous System 06:09 Practical Tips for Grounding Yourself 07:44 Movement as a Form of Healing 09:06 The Soft Return: A Free Resource 09:57 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

    12 min
  6. Say More About Letting Go of What is not Yours to Carry

    07/14/2025

    Say More About Letting Go of What is not Yours to Carry

    Letting Go of What Isn't Yours: Emotional Awareness and Boundaries In this episode, La Toya hosts an episode focusing on the emotional burdens people often carry that do not belong to them. She explains how high-functioning individuals, especially women, are often praised for managing chaos, which can lead to unnecessary emotional strain. La Toya introduces a three-step framework—awareness, ownership, and release—to help individuals recognize and manage these burdens. She emphasizes the importance of setting emotional boundaries and releasing what is not theirs to carry. The episode aims to help listeners create space for their well-being by letting go of unnecessary emotional weight. ​If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment Today. Stay connected... Join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Say More Crew!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 01:25 The Weight We Carry: Understanding Emotional Burdens 03:15 Awareness: Identifying Unchosen Responsibilities 04:07 Ownership: Setting Emotional Boundaries 06:34 Release: Returning the Weight 07:56 Conclusion and Final Thoughts 08:34 Patreon and Additional Resources

    11 min
  7. Say More About Doing Hard Things With Help

    07/07/2025

    Say More About Doing Hard Things With Help

    The Power of Community: Embracing Support and Letting Go of Isolation In this episode of 'Say More About That,' host La Toya explores the deep-seated notion that high-functioning individuals must do everything alone. She delves into the harmful effects of emotional perfectionism and emphasizes the importance of seeking support from a community. La Toya suggests practical strategies for auditing your support system, asking for help, and allowing others to assist during challenging times. She highlights how vulnerability and community can foster resilience, regulation, and relief. Tune in for tips on evolving strength into discernment and delegation to avoid burnout. ​If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment Today. Stay connected... Join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Say More Crew!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:12 The Myth of Doing It All Alone 00:52 The Praise and Perils of High Functioning 01:59 The Importance of Asking for Help 03:39 Strategies for Building Support Systems 06:30 The Role of Community in Personal Well-being 09:16 Conclusion and Call to Action

    11 min
  8. Say More About Burnout and Discipline

    06/30/2025

    Say More About Burnout and Discipline

    Balancing Burnout and Discipline: Insights for High Achieving Women In this episode of Say More About That, we delve into the challenging dynamics between burnout and discipline, particularly for high-achieving women and high-functioning black women. La Toya shares personal experiences of dealing with fatigue post-surgery and the internal conflict between feeling lazy and recognizing the need for rest. The episode offers a comprehensive definition of burnout, differentiates it from mere tiredness, and explores the unique pressures faced by high-functioning individuals. Practical advice is given on recognizing when to rest versus when to apply discipline, advocating for a compassionate approach to self-care and productivity. ​If you have not done so already, please subscribe and comment Today. Stay connected... Join the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Say More Crew!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @livinlatoya⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ @toya.the.thrpst⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter and other links⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email- hello@latoyathetherapist.com To learn more about La Toya visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:23 Personal Story: Recognizing Burnout 01:35 Understanding Burnout: Definitions and Symptoms 03:34 High-Functioning Women and Burnout 05:40 The Strong Black Woman Stereotype 06:49 The Importance of Rest in Discipline 08:36 Practical Tips for Balancing Rest and Discipline 10:10 Conclusion and Additional Support

    13 min

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5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Hosted by La Toya, a licensed therapist-turned-creator, Say More About That helps high-functioning Black women set unapologetic boundaries, navigate emotional burnout, and reconnect with their authentic selves. Tune in for sharp insights, soft truths, and healing that moves with you—literally. New episodes every Monday!! Let’s talk about it.