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Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Where Politics Meets Pop Culture

Caloroga Shark Media
  • 3.1 (19)
  • STAND-UP
  • UPDATED SEMIWEEKLY

In the spirit of The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, and yes, even those Pod Save America guys, we’re cutting through the chaos of Trump’s second term and the Democrats’ sudden hot streak. From Zohran Mamdani shocking New York to Gavin Newsom redrawing democracy with a kombucha in hand, we’ll break down the biggest stories with sharp humor, a little parody, and zero political homework required. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

  1. DEC 19

    Boobs, Bronze And Pornhub: Sweeney Takes Lie Test As Trump Turns White House Into Grievance Museum

    Sydney Sweeney shuts down plastic surgery rumors with a lie detector, hackers claim to expose Pornhub viewing habits, and President Trump installs scathing bronze plaques attacking Biden, Obama and Hillary — turning the White House into a permanent monument to his grudges. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    6 min

  2. DEC 18

    Trump Speed-Reads Victory Speech As Ratings Tank And Epstein Ties Resurface

    President Trump races through a rambling prime-time address as his approval sinks to thirty-nine percent, unveils a last-minute “Warrior Dividend” with no clear funding, shrugs off war talk, and faces fresh scrutiny after a New York Times investigation reveals his long-denied closeness to Jeffrey Epstein. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    5 min

  3. DEC 17

    White House In Chaos: Trump Teases Big Speech As Top Aide Unloads And Dems Dread Kamala

    President Trump promises “the best is yet to come” ahead of a prime-time address, even as his chief of staff torches the administration in a stunning Vanity Fair interview and Democrats cringe at Kamala Harris hinting she may run again. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    12 min

  4. DEC 16

    Trump Hears About Rob Reiner Murder, Makes It About Himself

    fter a shocking double murder, President Trump went straight to Truth Social to attack the dead man, diagnosing Rob Reiner with “Trump Derangement Syndrome” instead of offering condolences. Even Trump allies recoiled, calling the post indecent. Then, as if that wasn’t enough for one day, Trump filed a ten billion dollar lawsuit against the BBC over a January sixth documentary that never aired in the U.S., insisting his words that day were “beautiful.” From blaming a murder victim to suing a foreign broadcaster in Florida, Trump once again proved that no story is too tragic or too international to bend back toward himself.   Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    7 min

  5. DEC 12

    Trump Halts Oval Office Meeting for Shoe-Size Roast as JD Vance Spills Wild Christmas Party Story

    Vice President JD Vance says President Trump once stopped an “important” Oval Office meeting to announce a more pressing topic — “Shoes” — before telling top officials they had “shitty shoes” and whipping out a shoe catalogue he apparently keeps at the Resolute Desk. Trump then asked for everyone’s sizes, used the moment to make a not-so-subtle anatomy joke about a size-seven colleague, and left Vance joking about his own measurements in front of the Second Lady. The tale echoes Trump’s infamous 2016 “no problem” debate line and adds a new chapter to the Rubio-hand saga — now with the former rival serving as Secretary of State and getting roasted for his footwear. Somewhere, a size-seven lawmaker is begging Santa for a quieter December. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    8 min

  6. DEC 11

    Trump Brags About Dementia Tests in Midnight Rant as SC Prison Busts Crab-Leg Drone Drop

    President Trump lit up Truth Social with a late-night tirade boasting he’s taken more cognitive decline tests than any president ever — “aced” them, too — while blasting reporters as “treasonous” for questioning his health and demanding *The New York Times* shut down. The president challenged AOC to a cognition showdown, forgot details of his own exams, and brushed off a mysterious MRI as questions swirl about his mental fitness. Meanwhile in South Carolina, guards seized a drone carrying steak, crab legs, Old Bay, weed, and cigarettes into a prison — a full surf-and-turf smuggling attempt officials dubbed “Contraband Christmas.” From cognitive tests to crab legs in the sky, America continues to out-Florida itself. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    7 min

  7. DEC 10

    Why Is It So Cold? Trump Rips ‘Stupid People’ at Fiery Pocono Rally as Deep Freeze Turns America Into an Ice Block

    President Trump roared back onto the rally stage in Mount Pocono, torching critics as “stupid people,” bungling Susie Wiles’ name, and reviving chants of “Send her back” while pitching his “no tax on tips” plan. The president blasted Minnesota leaders, mocked immigration from global “hellholes,” and even mixed up the Eagles’ season while trying to win over Pennsylvania. Meanwhile, meteorologists warn a brutal polar vortex “mega-dump” is set to smash the central and eastern U.S. with the coldest temperatures on Earth — from minus-45 wind chills in the Dakotas to frost creeping toward Florida. America’s freezing over… and the political climate isn’t much warmer. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    9 min

  8. DEC 9

    Trump’s Birthday Replaces MLK Day? National Parks Spark Outrage With ‘America-First’ Holidays

    Patrick Gutfield digs into the National Park Service’s explosive new holiday calendar scrapping MLK Day and Juneteenth — while elevating Donald Trump’s birthday to fee-free status. Add in a $100 “patriotic premium” for foreign visitors and you’ve got bureaucratic chaos with a nationalist twist. Then: Trump “accidentally” tries to rename the Kennedy Center after himself (again), the Institute of Peace gets the full Trump makeover, and a new citizenship bill could accidentally boot Melania and Barron. It’s political whiplash at its finest. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land. Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!  Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media

    5 min
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About

In the spirit of The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, and yes, even those Pod Save America guys, we’re cutting through the chaos of Trump’s second term and the Democrats’ sudden hot streak. From Zohran Mamdani shocking New York to Gavin Newsom redrawing democracy with a kombucha in hand, we’ll break down the biggest stories with sharp humor, a little parody, and zero political homework required. Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

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