Feel Better

Charlotte Cummings
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Daily

A podcast focused on building better mental and emotional health, with New Zealand counsellor Charlotte Cummings.

  1. When Church Hurts: Spiritual Abuse Explained

    6d ago

    When Church Hurts: Spiritual Abuse Explained

    Spiritual abuse is one of the most misunderstood forms of harm there is. And it might be exactly what you've been trying to name. In this episode, I'm getting into a topic I know many of you have been waiting for. After my episode on "when faith gets messy" became one of my most downloaded ever, I knew we needed to go deeper. So today we're talking about spiritual abuse: what it actually is, what it looks and feels like from the inside, and what healing can look like on the other side. This is a topic I come at from multiple angles. I'm currently completing my PhD in sociology, researching the experiences of women who have left Gloriavale, a high-control fundamentalist Christian community in New Zealand. I'm also a licensed Private Investigator who works on cases of institutional harm, and a therapist who has seen many clients navigating this kind of trauma. So when I say I get this issue from a lot of different angles, I mean it. In this episode we cover: What spiritual abuse actually is and why it's so hard to name in the momentHow power, scripture, and religious authority get used to control and harmThe difference between a healthy faith community and a high-control oneThe lasting impact on your mental health, your sense of self, and your ability to trust your own thoughtsWhat healing actually looks like, including rebuilding agency, reconnecting with your own voice, and giving yourself permission to step awayGreen flags to look for if you're navigating faith communities going forwardIf you've ever walked away from a religious group feeling like something wasn't right, or if you've spent years wondering whether what happened to you was "bad enough" to matter, this episode is for you. You don't have to have all the words for it yet. Sometimes just hearing it named is the first step. Find more support and resources at charlottecummings.nz

    38 min
  2. Have Fun Together Again

    Jun 7

    Have Fun Together Again

    Is your relationship feeling a little flat? Like you used to laugh more, go on proper dates, and actually enjoy each other's company, but somewhere along the way life just got in the way? In this episode of Ask Charlotte, I'm answering a listener question that I hear all the time: how do we have more fun in our relationship? I cover: Why fun doesn't just happen and what to do about itHow to figure out what you both actually enjoy (and why one person's preferences might be quietly dominating)The alphabet dating idea my husband and I used early on (and why I think we need to revisit it)Why scheduling fun is not the enemy of spontaneityThe "micro fun" moments that build connection without needing a whole night outWhat to do when conflict, stress, or a packed schedule is the real barrier I also share some of what the Gottman Institute's research says about the ratio of positive to negative interactions in happy relationships, because it's a game changer for how you think about the small stuff. If you've been meaning to prioritise your relationship but keep letting it slip, this episode is your nudge. Send me your questions anytime at charlottecummings.nz, and if this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it.

    18 min
  3. Parenting When You're Over It - With Zazi

    May 31

    Parenting When You're Over It - With Zazi

    Some days you just hit the wall. The noise, the need, the relentlessness of it. You love your kids and you are completely done. This episode is for you. I'm joined by Zazi, a speech and language therapist, child development expert, MMA fighter, and mum who gets it. Zazi has built a community of parents who are done pretending they've got it all together, and she brings the kind of practical, no-guilt wisdom that actually helps. We go deep on why overwhelm isn't a character flaw. It's a nervous system response. Why your child melting down after school isn't bad behaviour. Why so many women are reaching their 30s and 40s and finally understanding their own brains for the first time. And what you can actually do when you're at the end of yourself and your child still needs you. We cover: The 8 senses and why the three you've never heard of are driving your overwhelm and your child's meltdowns Interoception, proprioception, and the vestibular system explained simply and why they matter more than emotions for nervous system regulation Postpartum rage, sensory overload, and the mental health struggles that don't look like depression or anxiety ADHD in women, why it gets missed, what diagnosis can offer, and what you don't need a diagnosis to give yourself Neurodivergent parenting strategies that work whether or not anyone has a formal label Why your child isn't being naughty. Every behaviour is communication, including the meltdown at the checkout Screen time, sensory regulation, and what to actually replace screens with The "blame your systems, not yourself" reframe that will stay with you What to do in the moments when you're completely over it and your child still needs you This one is for you if: You find yourself ragey more than sad You're touched out, noise-sensitive, and visually overwhelmed by the state of your house You've wondered whether you might be neurodivergent and you're not sure what to do with thatYou're holding it together on the outside and quietly burning on the inside You just need someone to say: this is hard, you're not failing, and here's something that might actually help "Every behaviour is communication.""Blame your systems, not yourself.""You've got this, even when you quite clearly haven't." Find Zazi:🌐 zazi.co.nz📱 @zaziplays on Instagram🎙️ You've Got This podcast Find me:🌐 charlottecummings.nzIf this felt like it was for you, share it with the Mum who needs it today. And subscribe so you don't miss what's next

    53 min

  4. May 24

    Feeling Off? Here's What To Do Next

    Do you feel off but can't explain why? Flat, disengaged, not quite yourself but you don't know where to start? In this episode of Ask Charlotte, I'm responding to a listener who's feeling flat and disconnected, and walking you through exactly where to begin when something just doesn't feel right. I break down a practical, no-fluff framework for understanding why you feel off and what to actually do about it. In this episode I cover: Why feeling flat and disengaged is information, not a flawHow to check your physical wellbeing first (sleep, nutrition, movement, blood work)The role of unresolved decisions and avoided conversationsHow misalignment with your values quietly drains your energySaying yes when you mean no, and the toll it takesWhat "too much on your plate" really looks like How to read and reset your nervous systemMaking a practical plan to find your spark again Whether you're burnt out, emotionally exhausted, going through a life transition, or just can't put your finger on what's wrong, this episode is for you. Send me your question: charlottecummings.nz If this episode helped you, I'd love you to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it.

    11 min
  5. Close Your Confidence Gap

    May 17

    Close Your Confidence Gap

    Do you look capable on the outside but feel held back by self-doubt on the inside? You're not alone, and you're not failing. You might just be living with a confidence gap. In this episode, I'm digging into one of the most common and costly patterns I see in high-functioning women: being far more capable than you believe yourself to be. Research shows women tend to underrate their competence, wait until they feel 120% ready before going for opportunities, and carry a five-year lag in their professional self-concept. The result? Missed promotions, missed pay, and a life lived smaller than it needs to be. But confidence isn't a personality trait you either have or you don't. It's a behaviour, and it can be built. I'm sharing my most practical, honest advice for closing the confidence gap, including: Why your self-concept is behind your actual capabilities and how to update itThe power of acting ahead of your identity (and the Mel Robbins technique that makes it easier)How what you wear can genuinely shift how you show upThe language patterns that quietly undermine your authority and what to say insteadHow to use evidence, not feelings, to build a more accurate picture of who you arePractical tools for interrupting overthinking and moving towards actionHow to channel a confident role model and up-regulate your mood before high-stakes momentsWhether you're navigating career decisions, relationship pressures, or simply tired of holding yourself back, this episode will help you carry things differently.

    21 min
  6. Wisdom From A Hypnotherapist

    May 10

    Wisdom From A Hypnotherapist

    What if the heaviness you're carrying isn't a personality trait — it's your nervous system asking for something different? Clinical hypnotherapist Bec Marshall joins Charlotte to unpack hypnotherapy, the fawn response, functional freeze, and how high-functioning women can start feeling safe in their own bodies again. If you've been pushing through, performing capable, and quietly wondering why everything feels heavier than it should, this episode of The Feel Better Podcast is for you. Bec is a clinical hypnotherapist, trainer and nervous system educator with a rare gift for making the science of the subconscious mind feel both fascinating and genuinely useful. Together we explore hypnotherapy, nervous system regulation, and why understanding your stress response is the foundation for feeling better in your body, your motherhood, and your everyday life. Inside this episode: What hypnotherapy actually is (and what it isn't)The conscious vs subconscious mind, and why willpower keeps failing youFight, flight, freeze and fawn — and why so many women are stuck in fawnFunctional freeze: how high-functioning women run on emptyWhy feeling safe in your body is the foundation for nervous system regulationHow birth, motherhood and grief reshaped Bec's own nervous systemA simple three-step framework for moving out of stress: interrupt → anchor → practiceWhy food is a signal of safety to your nervous system, not a moral testThe link between long-held emotion, trauma and chronic painPlus a bonus self-hypnosis practice you can come back toIf you've been searching for a gentler, more grounded approach to anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, and the quiet weight of high-functioning life — this is the conversation you didn't know you needed. Find Bec Marshall at behypnotherapy.co.nz, and more support, tools and ways to work with me at charlottecummings.nz. The Feel Better Podcast helps high-functioning women carry things differently. New episodes weekly.

    56 min
  7. How To Talk To Kids About War

    May 3

    How To Talk To Kids About War

    If you’ve been wondering how to talk to your kids about war… you’re not alone. With global conflict dominating headlines, many parents are finding themselves having conversations they never expected to have. Conversations about safety, fear, and what’s happening in the world. In this episode, I walk you through how to talk to children about war in a way that keeps them feeling safe, informed, and emotionally steady. You’ll learn: What to say (and what not to say) to kids about warHow to manage your child’s fear and anxietyWhy “safety first” is the most important starting pointHow to explain complex global conflict in age-appropriate waysHow to handle conversations differently for younger kids vs tweens and teensWhat to do if your child has already heard things at school or onlineHow to set boundaries around news, social media, and exposureHow to use this moment to build resilience, emotional literacy, and critical thinking. This isn’t about having the “perfect” conversation. It’s about being the calm, steady place your child comes back to when the world feels uncertain. If you’re a parent trying to support your child through scary or confusing world events, this episode will give you practical tools, language, and confidence to do that well. 🎧 Listen now and feel more equipped to have one of the hardest parenting conversations of our time.

    25 min

  8. Apr 26

    You Hate Routine. Now What?

    You want to look after yourself better…but you hate routine. So every time you try to “get your life together,” it lasts about five days. Then you’re back to square one, telling yourself you’re the problem. You’re not. In this Ask Charlotte episode, I’m breaking down why the way we talk about consistency is actually setting a lot of people up to fail and what to do instead. We cover: Why you don’t need strict routines to take care of yourselfThe difference between consistency and repetitionHow to use “bursts,” themes, and menus instead of rigid habitsThe real reason you’re struggling to start (and how to fix it)How to stop comparing yourself to the 5am routine crowdThe identity shift that changes everything: “I’m someone who shows up for myself”If you’ve ever thought“I’m just not disciplined enough”this episode will rewire that completely. You don’t need to become a routine person.You need a way of showing up that actually works for you. Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next.

    13 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

A podcast focused on building better mental and emotional health, with New Zealand counsellor Charlotte Cummings.

Information

  • Creator
    Charlotte Cummings
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    132
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Charlotte Cummings
  • Show Website
    Feel Better

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