Immersion

Pamela Carey
  • 5.0 (8)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

A search for how to live a meaningful life in the modern world by applying psychology and philosophy. Let’s dive 30 minutes beneath the surface each Sunday together. | Hosted by Pamela Carey Leave a voice message for the show here: https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey Write in here: https://www.pamcarey.com/contact This podcast is a production of Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist

  1. 4d ago

    How Do We Actually Heal From Trauma? A Psychologist on Self-Worth, Recovery & More

    I sat down with clinical psychologist Anita, who specializes in trauma work to talk about what working through trauma actually looks like, how trauma-focused therapy works, and what healing can look like in practice. Timestamps:  00:00  Meet Anita & What we cover in this episode  01:42 When Are You Ready to Work on Trauma? 03:08  What Is Trauma-Focused Therapy? 04:08  Avoidance: How Do We Avoid Looking at Trauma? 07:18  Trauma, Self-Worth & Bridging the Gap Between Knowing and Feeling 10:57  Cognitive Processing Therapy & Incremental Improvement 12:00  How Different Forms of Therapy Work Together 16:55  Corrective Experiences & Healing in Connection 18:50  How Do We Learn Who Is Safe to Trust? 22:01  How Do We Change Our Patterns? 23:57  How “The Pendulum” Shows Up in Our Patterns 25:40  What Are the Stages of Healing From Trauma? 31:05  What Is Trauma? What Is PTSD? 34:07  Stepping Away From Comparative Suffering: “Your Pain Is Your Pain” 35:39  Integrating Fragmented Memories & Building a Narrative of Our Lives 38:36  Moving Between the Stages: Healing Isn’t Linear 41:10  The Back and Forth Between Therapy & Life 42:00  What to Expect in Therapy If You’ve Never Been 43:04  Why Is Therapy a One-Sided Relationship? Referenced in this episode: Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/cognitive-processing-therapy Anita's practice is currently full, but if anything changes, I will link more about her work here! Content note: This episode includes non-graphic discussion of trauma, PTSD, and abuse. Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  2. Aug 23

    How to make your life feel bigger & more alive (When your routine has become a rut)

    How do we make our lives feel fuller, more alive, and packed with meaningful memories? Often we stick to the same routine - watching the same shows or scrolling the same apps - even if we would rather be at a book reading by a local author, jumping in to dance at a free salsa class, or taking part in a board game meetup group. It can be hard to know about the vast array of events happening in our cities and towns, and it can also be hard to then make ourselves go to them (assuming we even have the time or bandwidth to begin with). Here I want to lighten the load a little by giving ideas for how to find these events, and also dive into why they matter so much for our growth, creativity, community, and sense of possibility. In this episode we: Look at how seeking out new experiences can help with career success, including a few ideas from the book RangeExamine what we are really after - because often it is not simply “music” or “comedy,” but a sense of wonder, play, sensory experiences, physicality, or something else entirelyAcknowledge the privilege involved in being able to have this conversation, and explore ways to seek out new experiences within our current constraintsDive into the myriad ways these experiences can benefit us, from new ways of thinking and increased compassion, to better stories, a sense that time is slowing down, and feeling more alive and full of zest for lifeShare many thoughts on community specifically - which is such a big part of this, because we are getting out of the house and spending time with other humans!Timestamps:  00:00 How to make your life feel bigger 02:04 What are you looking for? Finding the right experiences for you 05:38 What’s stopping us from actually doing these things? 09:32 This is a no-guilt approach to making your life bigger 10:16 How to find things to do near you—and actually go 21:52 Why novelty, community, and this kind growth matter 30:34 More thoughts on community specifically Resources and potential follow up episodes:  How time slows down with novel experiences: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/17926814How to build community: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/16532349Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World book by David Epstein referenced The Artist's Way book / course by Julia Cameron referencedQuick relevant article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-trails/201607/activation-energy-how-it-keeps-happiness-distanceWrite in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  3. Aug 16

    The Most Dangerous Emotion in Connection: The Psychology of Contempt

    Contempt is one of the most damaging emotions in human connection - but what exactly is it, and why can it be so difficult to let go of? In this episode of Immersion, we explore the walls that are often built between ourselves and others, sometimes unspoken and sometimes maintained for decades. These walls can form between people in romantic relationships, workplaces, the political arena, group dynamics, and even within our relationship to ourselves. Some psychologists suggest that contempt doesn’t simply go away on its own - it persists unless we begin to break down the walls that keep us separated. So today, we’re asking: What are these walls made of? Finally, we explore how contempt can often be an attempt to get out in front of pain - to protect ourselves before we can be hurt. I hope this episode helps you dive deeper into the ways we can find healing through connection. I’d love to hear what you think. 00:00 The most dangerous emotion in human connection: contempt 00:44 What is contempt? An example 02:40 How different psychologists define contempt: primary vs. secondary emotions 05:13 When is contempt likely to occur? 7:00 Criticism vs. contempt 07:25 It’s not about if we have conflict, but how we have conflict 08:04 Why this emotion is so dangerous: resentment, walls, and disengagement 09:24 What does contempt look like? 10:20 Why doesn’t contempt just go away? 12:13 Group dynamics and contempt 15:29 Contempt directed at the self 16:44 Action steps and hope Resources:  - Paul Ekman on contempt: https://www.paulekman.com/universal-emotions/what-is-contempt/ - Vanessa Van Edwards speaking about contempt on The Psychology of Relationships podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-psychology-of-relationships/id1852111386?i=1000777054616 - The Gottman Institute on Contempt https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt/ - Psychology today article quoted for group dynamics part: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-of-intergroup-conflict-and-reconciliation/202204/a-devil-in-disguise-how - Terry Real quote on contempt directed outwards vs inwards https://www.youtube.com/shorts/vgWJvcxZvxU Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  4. Aug 9

    Do the 5 Love Languages Actually Work?

    Are the love languages actually still a useful tool in 2026? The original 5 Love Languages book was published by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992, but the framework is still talked about today - from long-term relationships to first dates and everything in between. In this episode, we take a nuanced look at the love languages and ask: What are the 5 Love Languages?What are the strengths and limitations of this framework?What is Truity’s updated version, the 7 Love Styles?What does the research actually say?What are some practical ways to apply these ideas in your relationships?How might the framework apply to friendships, family relationships, and other connections?What can we learn from other people’s experiences with the love languages? And, ultimately, how useful do I think this framework is?I also share some thoughts and tips I heard from people in my life when I brought up the love languages with them. Timestamps:  00:00 What we will cover 00:30 What are the 5 love languages? 02:49 A common complaint about these in the modern world 04:58 How this can look more specifically: examples to get more clear (physical touch and intellectual connection) 10:08 Does this apply in dating? Do people have the same love language they like to give and receive? 12:28 Digging into why this specific need or gesture matters to you 13:59 The 7 love styles by Truity 18:43 How might this apply to many relationships? (not only romantic ones!) 22:19 Does this change over time? 23:31 Action steps - making a list of how you want to receive your love language: specific actions 25:43 Rating this framework: what does the research say, and what are the limitations? 29:51 Are you able to receive your favorite love language? Resources:  Love Languages Quiz: To take the original love languages quiz.Truity’s 7 Love Styles Test: Truity’s updated framework for thinking about how we give and receive love.Related Podcast Episode - Psychology of Relationships hosted by Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, this is an episode featuring Molly Owens discussing the love stylesResearch Mentioned in the Episode by Sharon M Flicker and Flavia Sancier-BarbosaWrite in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  5. Aug 2

    When Your Identity Becomes a Cage: How to Hold Your Story Lightly (Part 3)

    How do we balance our past experiences and tendencies with the freedom of who we can become? In this episode, part 3 of a mini-series on identity and self-concept, we explore how psychology and philosophy can help us use identity as a tool, without becoming trapped by the story we tell ourselves about who we are. In this episode, we discuss: The Zen concept of “selfing”Why we should not mistake the map for the territoryCBT principles and cognitive restructuring for examining our thoughts and beliefsA lesson from Atomic Habits on using identity to support behavior changeHow to develop a flexible sense of self while still maintaining a strong sense of who you are Mentioned in this episode:  Part 1 of this series through the lens of psychology: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19515584Part 2 of this series on identity through the lens of philosophy: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19551982Full Relationship to the self series playlist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OGEpisode on The Artist's Way: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/14926488And the "selfing" post I was quoting from was by https://www.instagram.com/saragottfriedmd/?hl=en and https://www.instagram.com/elenabrower/Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  6. Jul 26

    Who Are You, Really? Rethinking Identity, Freedom, and the Self (Part 2 on Identity)

    What is the self? Are we as fixed as we think we are? In this episode, we explore identity, freedom, and self-concept through the lenses of philosophy and spirituality. Last week, we explored how our self-concept forms through psychology. This week, we're taking the next step. In this episode, we explore: - Bad faith with Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. - Is there a permanent self? Perspectives from David Hume and Buddhism. - Who—or what—are we beneath our thoughts? Insights from Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts. I'm excited to continue this journey with you. Let's dive in. Part 1 on identity from the lens of psychology: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19515584 Full Relationship to the self series playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OG Timestamps:  00:00 Bad Faith, Identity, and Choice 08:54 David Hume and the Idea of the Self 14:09 The White Lotus Quote 16:07 Anatta and the Buddhist Concept of No-Self 17:23 Who Is the “I” We Are Speaking Of? - Eckhart Tolle 20:57 Can We Expand the Definition of the Self Even Further? Ideas / resources discussed in this episode:  On Hume: https://iep.utm.edu/hume/ Eckhart Tolle excerpt: https://eckharttolle.com/power-of-now-excerpt/ On Anatta (the Buddhist concept of “not-self”):  https://www.lionsroar.com/buddhism/no-self-anatta/We also explored ideas from Sartre, Beauvoir, and Alan Watts.Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  7. Jul 19

    Do You Really Know Yourself? | The Psychology of Identity & Self-Concept (Part 1)

    In order to love ourselves, we first have to know ourselves. But getting to know ourselves isn't always easy. Over time, we can become attached to a particular identity or story about who we are. While that story may be true, it may only be one part of us, leaving other authentic parts hidden beneath the surface. In this episode of Immersion, we explore how our self-concept develops, why we become attached to certain identities, and how we can begin reconnecting with who we are beneath the roles, labels, and stories we've accumulated over time. We'll cover: - The psychology behind how our self-concept forms, including the role of splitting. - Why it's normal for our sense of self to be partially shaped by our relationships and social world. - What the ego actually is (and how it differs from the way the term is often used). - The role of unconditional positive regard in humanistic psychology, and how being truly seen by others shapes our sense of self. - Practical exercises to help you get to know yourself more deeply and expand your sense of who you are. Who are you beneath the story you've been telling yourself? Timestamps:  00:00 How Does Self-Concept Form 04:14 Relational Models and the “Looking-Glass Self” 08:13 Ego Defined 10:22 How Self-Concept Becomes Too Rigid and We Suffer 14:12 Carl Rogers and Living With Congruence vs. Incongruence 15:32 Steps to Get to Know Ourselves Full Relationship to the self series playlist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OG And Podcast version of the first episode of the series: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19265696 Resources:  - Questions to fall in love: https://36questionsinlove.com - Creativity course book: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - How to Rebuild Self-Identity After Years of Shame by Tim Fletcher https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWktnnPa8Xs - Possible further reading - Ego and justification: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-of-knowledge/202105/what-is-the-ego Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

  8. Jul 12

    You Don’t Need to Be "Fully Healed" to Date (For the Anxiously Attached)

    Ever feel like the second dating gets stressful, anxious, or overwhelming, your only option is to hit pause and retreat? While taking space is completely valid, true relational growth actually happens in connection with others - not just sitting alone in a room meditating. In this episode, we explore how to actively work on yourself while staying in the dating game. By leaning into attachment theory and creating safe, corrective experiences, we can use the dating process as a powerful mirror for healing, rather than something we constantly need to escape from. What We Cover In This Episode: Maintaining Your Life: Keeping your anchor in your friends, health, spirituality, and hobbies instead of letting a new connection swallow you whole. Upholding Standards & Boundaries: How to stay true to your values in real-time.Detaching from the Outcome: Shifting your focus from "is this my person?" to a much simpler question: "Do I want to see them again?"Lowering the Stakes: Remaining curious and letting the process unfold naturally.Somatic Awareness: Getting out of your hypervigilant mind and learning to be present in your body and your feelings. 💛 A Gentle Reminder:  Growth happens on the field, but safety comes first. This approach is best practiced with a solid support system or in therapy. Always listen to your inner wisdom too - taking care of yourself is the priority and taking time off when you genuinely need it is also key.  Episodes I mentioned as good follow-ups after this:  Part 1 on Limerence: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19411931Part 2 on Limerence: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19445097Playlist for the whole self-worth series on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OG  Resources:  Heidi Priebe's channel - highly recommend her content on attachment styles in particular! https://www.youtube.com/@heidipriebe1Attached - Book by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller - an often-cited book in the field on attachment theory Complex Trauma Podcast by Sarah Herstich - a therapist who describes healing from complex trauma in her podcast, which you can look up on your favorite podcast player.Tim's channel has great work on aspects such as codependency and self-worth:  https://www.youtube.com/c/TimFletcherPsychology in Seattle is a podcast by a therapist - you can find his work on personality, attachment, etc. Some of his more recent work includes reaction episodes to shows, but you can go to some of his older work if that is not your thing :) Write in to the show here Leave a voice message here Newsletter sign up YouTube - channel  Instagram - we will be posting here soon

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A search for how to live a meaningful life in the modern world by applying psychology and philosophy. Let’s dive 30 minutes beneath the surface each Sunday together. | Hosted by Pamela Carey Leave a voice message for the show here: https://www.speakpipe.com/pamelacarey Write in here: https://www.pamcarey.com/contact This podcast is a production of Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or licensed psychologist

Information

  • Creator
    Pamela Carey
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    57
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Bounding Husky LLC doing business as Pamela Carey Enterprises
  • Show Website
    Immersion