OH GOD WE FORGOT TO DO THE MAY 5/12THS BIT Now, logically, we could just, like, not do it. Ezpz. But, it’s like, a thing! And things are meant to be done! And, as fate would have it, this episode is for July reviews. The usual: top three albums for J, top three albums for Zack, and any number of newly-charting Billboard 100 singles for Dan. I can’t tell the Future, but I think there have been better months. BUT! July is the 7th month. And this is the 7th year that we’ve been doing this bit oh god it all aligns we’re stuck now here we go I guess THE FAIRLY KICKASS UNOFFICIAL RANKING OF THE DUMB MAY REVIEWS BIT ENTRIES #7) May 2026. Nonexistent bit, and the actual write-up was also pretty subpar. Not one of the better months in the episode description game… we’re not proud of this one. #6) July 2026. This year has to take the cake, since it’s not even in the right month, right? I mean, it’s gonna be cool to see some of the dumb stuff this dumb bit has yielded over the years, but only because we needed to be bailed out. #5) May 2025. Technical difficulties led to losing the whole bit, and at this point I don’t even remember what it was supposed to be. It was in the correct month, at least, and it did get one reference to the 5/12ths mark of the episode runtime, so A+ for effort and D+ for execution I guess. #4) May 2024. We looked at 2021-2023 to revisit a bunch of entries, and then we spun them off… unchanged. It was basically like the filler clip show that your favorite TV program does from time to time, to stretch out the season juuuuuust a bit more. Or, for you Dragonball Z fans, it’s the majority of Dragonball Z. (Don’t @ me.) Fun walk down memory lane, sure, but I prefer that new-new. Also: does this mean that the bit just got progressively worse every year? Would it be a great bit if it didn’t age like raw meat? I suppose not. Let’s see if the trend continues. #3) May 2021. The first cut was the freshest of all of them of course, as the bit was pretty much fleshed out from the off. We listed various things, cut them into a 5/12th portion, and talked about them. A million dollars, a dozen bagels, a car, etc. But there was just a one-line description for each entry - which, while fun, left a bit to be desired. A great start nonetheless. #2) May 2023. We took the bit a step farther, found albums with 12 songs (not as hard as it sounds, a LOT of albums have 12 songs), and picked five of them. A pretty novel concept! This kinda-sorta became an episode type of its own, with our Greatest Sh**s episodes consisting of us taking one song per album in an artist’s discography. I do think there could be more in this vein though… more to come? #1) May 2022. If May 2021 was the gold standard, then May 2022 was the diamond standard. It’s what you want out of a bit: take the good idea, make it gooder. New entries on the list from what was used in 2021, and longer descriptions. Baseball games, companies, sandwiches. Good times were had by all. If this bit persists into 2027, and we all know it will, this will probably be the format moving forward. Honorary #1) A Platter of Tater Tots. It’s both awesome in a vacuum (because tater tots rule), and it’s a little easter egg. If you know about this little easter egg, or even if you don’t and just got to this point in the description, please give us a shout in all the usual ways below and let us know. I need to know if anyone actually reads this nonsense. Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/fairlykickass.bsky.social Instagram: https://instagram.com/fairlykickass TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fairlykickass Threads: https://www.threads.net/@fairlykickass Website (for Ride-Along Playlists): https://fairlykickass.com/ Next week: More Will Smith than you want. We're sorry in advance.But we won't apologize for you Keeping. Kicking. Ass.
