The Adoption Roadmap Podcast

Rebecca Gruenspan
  • 5.0 (44)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Biweekly

Your dream is to become a mom. My dream is to help you get there. I am Rebecca Gruenspan, a single mom through domestic adoption and an adoption consultant for over a decade. I’ll be your guide, along with other adoption professionals and members of the adoption constellation, walking you step by step down this beautiful and complex path of adopting your baby. This isn't just another podcast sharing adoption stories. If you're genuinely committed to diving in with an open heart, eager to learn everything there is to know about adopting a baby, this is for you!

  1. 13h ago

    Ep. #154: The Psychology of Adoption | Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao

    In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan sits down with Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao—a pioneer in the world of adoption, an adoptee herself, and the author of The Family of Adoption. With over five decades of clinical experience, Dr. Pavao challenges the idea that adoption is something to be “fixed,” and instead invites us to see it as a lifelong experience that demands truth, openness, and deep emotional care. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Pavao unpacks the psychology of adoption, the concept of ambiguous loss, and the invisible grief so often overlooked. She shares practical guidance for adoptive parents—how to talk about adoption, how to recognize adoption-related trauma, and how to support their children through it without over-pathologizing them. From early separation and normative crises to adoption-competent therapy and systemic change, this episode is filled with wisdom every member of the adoption constellation needs to hear. Important Links ⁠Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao⁠ Email: kinnect@gmail.com ⁠The Family of Adoption⁠ ⁠Sweet Peach Tree⁠ – Clean, natural hair + skin products for melanin-rich families. Use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off your first order ⁠RG Adoption Consulting⁠ Take our FREE quiz: ⁠“Am I Ready to Adopt?”⁠ Chapters 00:00 Celebrating Milestones and Community Engagement 03:14 Understanding Adoption: A Lifelong Journey 05:48 The Child-Centric Approach in Adoption 09:13 Normative Crises in Adoption 12:05 The Impact of Early Adoption Experiences 14:55 Creating Adoption Competent Therapists 18:05 Ambiguous Loss in Adoption 20:50 Supporting Children Through Invisible Loss 24:01 Indirect Communication Strategies for Parents 26:54 Recognizing Trauma in Adopted Children 30:06 Understanding Behavioral Responses in Adoptees 33:02 The Complexity of Adoption Experiences 36:13 Encouraging Open Conversations in Adoption 38:57 The Role of Parents in Navigating Adoption Challenges 41:58 Empowering Adoptees to Share Their Stories 46:31 Navigating Family Dynamics in Adoption 49:41 The Vulnerability of Pre-Adoptive Parents 55:29 The Need for Honest Conversations in Adoption 57:40 Challenges in the Adoption System 01:02:33 The Importance of Community in Healing 01:10:31 Therapeutic Approaches for Adoptive Families 01:12:32 Understanding Healing vs. Fixing 01:16:29 Building Connections and Community 01:23:59 Embracing the Truth of Adoption RG Adoption Consulting Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ Get your personalized Adoption Roadmap - https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/roadmap-quiz Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠ __ adoption, adoption trauma, ambiguous loss, adoption therapist, how to talk to your child about adoption, signs of trauma in adopted children, adoption grief and loss, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, The Family of Adoption, lifelong impact of adoption, adoptive parent advice

    Ep. #154: The Psychology of Adoption | Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao

  2. Oct 7

    Ep. #153: Willing Isn't Ready: What It Takes to Adopt a Black Child | Rhonda Chandler

    You can be willing to adopt a Black child. But are you prepared to raise one? Rhonda Chandler knows firsthand that transracial adoption requires more than love. After seeing the lack of representation and community available to Black and biracial youth, she founded Loving the Skin I’m In and later Melanated Adoption Journey to help families navigate the cultural, identity, and parenting challenges that can come with transracial adoption. In this episode, Rhonda shares why families need to do the work before they ever bring a child home—from examining their own biases and building relationships within the Black community to understanding hair and skincare, creating representation at home, and preparing for the experiences their child may face in the world. In this episode, we talk about: The difference between being willing to adopt a Black child and being prepared to raise oneWhy adoptive parents need to examine their own biases, assumptions, and understanding of raceWhat White parents can expect when raising a Black child in communities and spaces where they may experience curiosity, judgment, or unsolicited adviceHow to intentionally build cultural connection through haircare, skincare, books, art, mentors, traditions, and communityHow to honor a child’s birth family and culture without making them feel singled out within their own familyWhat to say when a child says, “You don’t understand,” or begins questioning their identity and belongingWhy parents and schools need to look beyond behavior and understand the emotions and experiences underneath it About Rhonda: Rhonda Chandler is a social worker, mother, and founder of Loving the Skin I’m In and Melanated Adoption Journey. Her work focuses on supporting Black and biracial youth and helping transracial adoptive and foster families become more intentional and prepared in raising children whose racial and cultural experiences may differ from their own. Through education, community, resources, and family support, Rhonda helps parents build the cultural awareness, connections, and confidence needed to support their children’s identity and sense of belonging. Connect with Rhonda: Lovin the Skin I'm In: https://lovinmyskinwi.com/ Melanated Adoption Journey: https://melanatedadoptionjourney.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhonda-chandler-a97692206 If you enjoyed this episode, please check out: Ep. #31: Beyond the Hair ~ Transforming Lives Through Cultural Connection and Transracial Adoption with Tamekia Swint https://open.spotify.com/episode/5AW6MW4YAHVs1QtaeMP22M?si=57ac4d715ca14cdc RG Adoption Consulting Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ Get your personalized Adoption Roadmap - https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/roadmap-quiz  Sweet Peach Tree (Sponsor) → ⁠https://sweetpeachtree.com/, use the code ROADMAP10 for 10% off.   Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠

    Ep. #153: Willing Isn't Ready: What It Takes to Adopt a Black Child | Rhonda Chandler

  3. Sep 30

    Ep. #152: The Adoption Questions That Surface in the Teen Years | Melissa Smallwood

    Your baby won’t remember the adoption. But your teenager might have a lot to say about it. At 15, Melissa packed a bag and left her grandparents’ home, believing she was running toward her mom and finally getting the family she needed. Instead, she found herself on her own, working full-time at Wendy’s, having dropped out of high school, and pregnant at 16. Today, Melissa is a licensed therapist, former foster youth, mom to seven, and adoptive parent. She has also fostered older children, worked extensively with teens and adoptees, and spent years supporting teen moms through a ministry she founded with her best friend. In this episode, Melissa brings both her personal experience and professional expertise to one of the most important conversations adoptive parents can have: what happens after the baby comes home. From why adoption-related grief can resurface during adolescence, to what “running away” may actually be communicating, she explains why parents need to think beyond infancy and start building their relationship with their future teenager from day one. In this episode, we talk about: Why “they won’t remember” doesn’t tell the whole story for children adopted as newbornsWhy adoption grief and identity questions can resurface during the teenage yearsWhat running away, shutting down, or saying “You’re not my real mom” may actually be communicatingHow parents can regulate themselves, prioritize connection, and repair after conflictWhy telling your child their full adoption story from day one can change everythingHow keeping the door open to their first family can help children navigate identity and belongingWhat adoptive parents can do now to prepare for the teenage years—before they arrive About Melissa: Melissa Smallwood is a licensed therapist, former foster youth, adoptive parent, and mom to seven. Her personal experience with foster care, teen motherhood, and adoption deeply informs her work with adoptees, foster youth, and families. She has also fostered older children and spent years supporting teen moms, bringing both lived experience and professional expertise to conversations around adoption, trauma, attachment, identity, and adolescence. Connect with Melissa: Website: https://www.mendingheartscoaching.com/about Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissasmallwood/ RG Adoption Consulting Do you have an adoption "Kismet Moment" you'd like to share? Tell us the story here to be apart of my upcoming podcast episode! https://form.jotform.com/261976309097066   Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ Get your personalized Adoption Roadmap - https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/roadmap-quiz   Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠

    Ep. #152: The Adoption Questions That Surface in the Teen Years | Melissa Smallwood

  4. Sep 23

    Ep. #151: Ethical Adoption Practices: What Every Hopeful Adoptive Parent Should Know | Robert LaMarche

    Rob LaMarche has seen adoption from nearly every angle—and he’s sharing what families should know before taking the next step. When Rob LaMarche met Casey at age 11, he was simply his client. Three years later, after a legal battle against a Florida law that prohibited gay people from adopting, Casey became his son. That fight changed the course of Rob’s life, leading him to law school and a career advocating for children and families through adoption. Today, Rob is the executive director and in-house attorney for ACF Adoptions, a nonprofit agency that has been placing babies since 1992. He’s also an adoptive parent of three, a licensed clinical social worker, and someone who understands adoption from nearly every angle. In this episode, Rob pulls back the curtain on how adoption agencies actually operate. From the real costs of running an ethical agency and why adoption expenses can vary so dramatically, to the safeguards that protect expectant parents and the red flags hopeful adoptive parents should watch for, he offers a level of transparency families don't often get. In this episode, we talk about: How adopting Casey after a legal battle in Florida led Rob to law school and a career in adoption advocacyWhy adoption costs vary so dramatically, from expectant parent living expenses to advertising, legal fees, and agency operating costsThe ethical safeguards Rob believes every adoption professional should prioritize, including transparency, independent legal representation, and informed choiceThe questions hopeful adoptive parents should ask when evaluating an agency—and why you should pay attention to how they handle failed matchesThe red flags that should make you pause, from pressure to make decisions quickly to agencies that aren't transparent about fees or the adoption processWhy nonprofit versus for-profit status doesn't automatically determine whether an agency is ethicalThe advice Rob gives hopeful adoptive parents about staying committed, navigating uncertainty, and not throwing in the towel About Rob: Robert LaMarche is the executive director and in-house attorney for ACF Adoptions, a private nonprofit adoption agency that has been placing babies since 1992. He is also a licensed clinical social worker and an adoptive father of three. Rob began his career in child protective services in Massachusetts before moving into adoption work, including matching and supporting pre-adoptive families. After moving to Florida, he adopted his son Casey following a legal battle challenging the state's ban on gay adoption. That experience inspired him to attend law school and pursue a career advocating for children and families. Since joining ACF Adoptions in 2011, Rob has worked across the legal and social services sides of adoption, bringing his professional experience and personal journey to the work of building families. Connect with Rob: Website: https://www.adoptionflorida.org/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-lamarche-lcsw-jd-00a6346 About: https://adoptioncouncil.org/guest-contributor/robert-lamarche/ RG Adoption Consulting Do you have an adoption "Kismet Moment" you'd like to share? Tell us the story here to be apart of my upcoming podcast episode! https://form.jotform.com/261976309097066   Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ Get your personalized Adoption Roadmap - https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/roadmap-quiz   Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠

    Ep. #151: Ethical Adoption Practices: What Every Hopeful Adoptive Parent Should Know | Robert LaMarche

  5. Sep 16

    Ep. #150: Adoption 101: What You Must Know Before You Start (Replay)

    In this episode of The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, Rebecca Gruenspan—adoptive parent, consultant, and founder of RG Adoption Consulting—takes you inside her signature presentation: a masterclass on the basics of domestic adoption. From her own story of 26 failed IUIs to becoming a single mom through adoption, Rebecca walks you step by step through what it really takes to build your family this way. She covers the questions hopeful parents ask most often—about open adoption, profiles, timelines, and costs—and doesn’t shy away from the realities, risks, and emotional work required. You’ll learn why readiness (emotional and financial) is critical, how to manage fears and expectations, and why building the right team around you makes all the difference. Whether you’re just beginning to explore adoption or you’ve already started your journey, this episode gives you the clarity, encouragement, and practical insight you need. RG Adoption Consulting Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ Get your personalized Adoption Roadmap - https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/roadmap-quiz Our Chosen Child - Use code ROADMAP for $100 off the Social Media Plan + Post Program.→ https://ourchosenchild.com  Sweet Peach Tree (Sponsor) → ⁠sweetpeachtree.com⁠ – use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠

  6. Sep 9

    Ep. #149: The Business Side of Adoption Consulting: Pricing, Hiring & Building Trust

    Thirteen years ago, Rebecca called her own adoption consultant and asked if she wanted a business partner. "Call me back in about a year," she said. "I'm not quite ready." Ten minutes later, Rebecca called back: "Then I'm going to be your competitor. Will you help me?" She had no clients, no marketing plan, and a notebook full of business ideas she'd never once acted on. What she had was a newly adopted son, eight people already asking how she'd done it so fast, and a stubborn feeling that nobody should walk this road alone. This episode is a crossover from Behind the Scene with Teah — the business side of RG Adoption Consulting, out loud: what it actually took to build it, why every consultant on the team has to have lived the adoption process themselves, and the year Rebecca finally learned to charge what she's worth. In this episode, Teah Interviews me about: Why Rebecca almost didn't start her own business — she called her own consultant first and asked to be a partner, and got told "not yet"What she actually had going for her at the start: no clients, no marketing plan, a notebook of ideas she'd never acted on — versus a son, eight referrals, and a refusal to let people do this aloneHow she built the business nights and weekends around a fundraising job she was miserable in, then let herself get laid off so unemployment could bridge the gapThe pricing mistake she made for years, undercharging because she felt "not senior enough," and what changed after a coach told her to charge $10,000 for a package she was sure nobody would buyWhy every consultant on her team has personally adopted or gone through the process themselves, and the one experience working with a non-adoptive consultant that convinced her this had to be a hard ruleThe scariest hire she ever made, why her first real employee was paid on commission, and what finally, after 13 years, made her feel like she had the right team in placeHer advice to the version of herself just starting out A reminder from RG Adoption Consulting If you're seriously considering adoption, you don't have to figure this out alone. Rebecca and her team guide hopeful families through every step using their proven four-step roadmap. In 2025, 62% of their families brought their baby home within 12 months. Book a complimentary adoption strategy session at rgadoptionconsulting.com.

    Ep. #149: The Business Side of Adoption Consulting: Pricing, Hiring & Building Trust

  7. Sep 2

    Ep. #148: Open Adoption, Birth Parents, and Building a Family | Susan Strong

    There’s a difference between choosing adoption… and choosing to embrace everything that comes with it. When Susan Strong’s first round of IVF failed, she didn’t know it would become the beginning of a completely different life. Thirty-four years later, she’s the adoptive mom of two daughters, has lifelong relationships with four birth parents, and has built an open adoption story she never could have planned for. In this honest and deeply moving conversation, Susan shares what she’s learned about choosing curiosity over fear, trusting your instincts, and building open adoption relationships without a roadmap. From meeting her first birth mother and being asked to adopt her baby after just 15 minutes, to navigating a second adoption with a teenage birth mother, to watching her daughters grow into their own relationships with their birth families, Susan offers a perspective shaped by decades of experience, unexpected loss, and a whole lot of saying yes. In this episode, we talk about: How Susan’s failed IVF cycle became the unexpected beginning of her adoption journeyThe adoptee’s story that changed Susan’s mind about closed adoption and led her to choose opennessWhat Susan learned about choosing curiosity over fear when the path ahead feels uncertainHow Susan met her first birth mother, Carmen, and why Carmen asked her to adopt her baby just 15 minutes after meetingThe three things Susan believes make open adoption work: choice, trust, and commitmentWhy open adoption doesn’t come with a roadmap—and the lifelong work required to maintain those relationshipsWhat Susan learned from her daughters about attachment, identity, grief, and the experience of carrying two family storiesThe advice Susan would give hopeful adoptive parents about trusting their instincts, being honest about what they can handle, and taking the leap together About Susan: Susan Strong is the author of One Yes At A Time: How Open Adoption Transformed Our Family, a book about her family's 34-year journey through open adoption. After an unsuccessful IVF experience, Susan and her husband, Bob, chose adoption and went on to adopt two daughters, Olivia and Caitlin. What began with two independent adoption journeys grew into lifelong relationships with four birth parents and an extended network of birth family. Susan writes about adoption on Substack and continues to share what she's learned about openness, curiosity, loss, identity, and the relationships that make adoption what it is. Connect with Susan: One Yes At A Time: https://www.susanstrongauthor.com/product-page/the-open-adoption-guidebook-1 Website: https://www.susanstrongauthor.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanstrongauthor RG Adoption Consulting Do you have an adoption "Kismet Moment" you'd like to share? Tell us the story here to be apart of my upcoming podcast episode! https://form.jotform.com/261976309097066 Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ Get your personalized Adoption Roadmap - https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/roadmap-quiz Our Chosen Child - Use code ROADMAP for $100 off the Social Media Plan + Post Program.→ https://ourchosenchild.com Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠

    Ep. #148: Open Adoption, Birth Parents, and Building a Family | Susan Strong

  8. Aug 26

    Ep. #147: Prenatal Opioid Exposure in Adoption: What the Research Actually Shows | Theresa Harmon

    At three years old, mid-meltdown, Theresa Harmon's son looked up at her and said: "I wanna calm down, Mommy, but I don't know how." She's a social worker. She spent years in child welfare before she became a mom. She was still lost. Doctors told her what they tell every family: "He'll go through withdrawal, and then he'll be fine." Teresa has spent the last decade fighting that myth. This episode gets honest about what opioid exposure actually means, not the terrifying Google version, not the everything's-fine-after-the-NICU version, but the truth that lives in between. In this episode: What actually counts as an opioid and why fentanyl exposure specifically tends to show up as more severe hyperactivity, inattention, and sleep troubleThe myth Teresa's spent a decade fighting: "he'll go through withdrawal, and then he'll be fine" — and why the neonatologists repeating it never actually go home with these kidsWhy the "no lasting effects" story and the "everything is ruined" story are both wrongThe two most common diagnoses beyond NAS/NOWSThe hospital protocol that's replaced older withdrawal scoring, and the swaddling, dim lighting, skin-to-skin, and breastfeeding tools that help at homeWhat to actually ask a pediatrician before trusting them with your child's history and why "I've worked with adopted kids before" tells you nothingTeresa's own son at three, mid-meltdown, telling her he wanted to calm down and didn't know how — and what she's learned about that moment in the decade since About Theresa: Teresa Harmon is a social worker turned psychiatric nurse practitioner specializing in kids in foster care and adoption who have prenatal opioid exposure. After her oldest son was born opioid-dependent and she couldn't find the support she needed, she founded To The Moon and Back, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit now in its 10th year, serving families nationally through case management, support groups, provider education, and published research with Child Trends. She's an adoptive mom of three, ages 13, 8, and 2. Connect with Theresa: To The Moon & Back: tothemoonandback.org Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tothemoonma Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ToTheMoonMA/ Beyond NAS Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/beyondnas Research mentioned: - TTMAB's 2 published studies (Theresa to send links) - Dr. Jonathan Davis, Tufts Newborn Medicine — created the alcohol-free methadone formulation for NAS weaning; POE/development research (Theresa to send) - Child Trends (Bethesda, MD) — TTMAB research partner - Eat Sleep Console (ESC) — hospital assessment + sensory-based comfort approach for NAS babies - Kennedy Donovan Center — early intervention (Theresa's rapid-fire shout-out) - Perkins School for the Blind — flagging high rates of Cortical Visual Impairment (CVI) in POE kids - MA legislation: automatic early-intervention eligibility bill (Theresa to send status/action link) RG Adoption Consulting Do you have an adoption "Kismet Moment" you'd like to share? Tell us the story here to be apart of my upcoming podcast episode! https://form.jotform.com/261976309097066 Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ ⁠ Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠ The Adoption Roadmap: The Four-Step Process To Adopting Your Baby In Less Than A Year → Buy Here on Amazon Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: ⁠https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt⁠   Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ support@rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠⁠⁠

    Ep. #147: Prenatal Opioid Exposure in Adoption: What the Research Actually Shows | Theresa Harmon
See All (153)

Trailer

5
out of 5
44 Ratings

About

Your dream is to become a mom. My dream is to help you get there. I am Rebecca Gruenspan, a single mom through domestic adoption and an adoption consultant for over a decade. I’ll be your guide, along with other adoption professionals and members of the adoption constellation, walking you step by step down this beautiful and complex path of adopting your baby. This isn't just another podcast sharing adoption stories. If you're genuinely committed to diving in with an open heart, eager to learn everything there is to know about adopting a baby, this is for you!

Information

  • Creator
    Rebecca Gruenspan
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    153
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Rebecca Gruenspan
  • Show Website
    The Adoption Roadmap Podcast

You Might Also Like