I been telepathically programming bitches To mimick this addictive obsession with [Expletive] If anything just to hop up on his dicks in Get his attention And end his Ahem Apparently awful//awesome marriage edits in multidimensions, for the unmentionable shit that might just hit too close to home, for some What Be a parent to your son, They said I said, Hey, man I'm just a dear old dad with bad habits It's a trap, you know! You can't trust us bitches I took pictures of this bitches ass To put on top of the dead presidents Hell yes, I said Get dressed man, It isn't hygienic, All that shit we just did, Remember? I live in a trash can! (It's a dumpster but) [IT's actually really nice in here, what the f**k] Damn, alright what is that Idk #RIPJImmyFallon I was fasting like a maniac when that hashtag happened You just can't come back from that, You just can't ever Get back to the dad joke The man told. That pulled you out of that last fast, Like I did From that man whole! FLAGPOLE FLAGPOLE —what? OHFD. *OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. -The Rock And The Kite As told by Who's that guy Uh. TESTPILOT. I need some sages And stages And sages in this bitch! I need some Pages and Playlists and Paiges in this bitch It just goes On an on for days, This just gets crazy in this bitch Can't say Expletives because peacock is paying for this bitch! Nevermind, Lets just do Netflix? Pass. Amazon Prime? This costs too much for us I'll do this : every dime I own, Will go straight up your but I Is that an innuendo for ‘anal.plug' No, don't be gross! But I'm supposed to be gross (Going back and forth with Alec Baldwin) You win. Win WHAT You're the best. All your brothers are the off-awkward versions of you. *YES*. 30+ Rock ID please. Here you go. Sorry. No go. What do you mean. We're 21. I'm actually 23, but. No can do. This lounge is 30 Plus 30 PLUS? WHATTHEPLUG. Yup. Sorry kiddos. I'mfilthyDRUNK. I'm an ADULT. Pfft. That's what you think. Are you serious!? Serious as a heart attack; which, I'm at higher risk of actually having, Because I'm allowed in here. So Consider yourself lucky! PSH! I could have a heart attack if I want to! PSHH. PSHHHHHHHH. Hold your liquor, punk! I'll hold you—all night long!I —see you in like a decade! PSSSHSHUTUP. Shh. C'mon, lets go. Apparently, though According to some voice inside, He's miserable I call it insertinct* Or psychic inclinations, But perhaps that just my Hormonal fluctuations And high hopes to open up a portal And jump into some Seriously self deprecating behavior, Or some other alien shit Who the f**k can say, anyway You can't say any of these things publicly -1And actually expect to get away with them. You're just an a*****e, That's a whole ass scandal waiting to happen I'll just light a candle and pray about it “God will work it out,” I said I'll just keep working out Avoiding bread, and figure out how to get out of debt Maybe crowdfunding? Somebody wake him up, yet? Nope, nothin. Mm. Poptarts. That's why I called it “The Allegory of [Redacted]” after all He's practically infinite except for That part And-1 That's that n***a! Are you sure. F**k yeah, JIMMY FALLOn(s) F**k you, dude. SUNNI BLU (shrugging) Whatever. All they played was Fallon in the pen, bro. Really? YeahYeah. And Sesame Street. And he even on THAT mo'f****r. Aight.Aight. you want ‘em. I got ‘em. Straight shot? Straight and clean. Aight, then. Well, alright then. [JIMMY FALLON is shot in a driveby.] “First Person Shooter” First person shooter is a live action open world game where. {BLAT} OH NO. AHAHA. Wait. The guns are REAL? The whole world's in slow motion. Nobody's supposed to know this kind of stuff, you know— Nobody's supposed to go there –I hope she doesn't post or publish this anywhere. Sure, that's what they all say, But hey, you could never love me anyway I'm on my way up I'm on my way up to Heaven F**k this It's just this shit Over and over again All for the sake of the artform, All of up in arms, No comfort non conformist, With no money and no hopes left, Just a bunch of Too much, conscious And time on her hands Shes got One hand on the gun Underworld The other on the Trigger Which means Each hand has a gun in it Gun in it Gun in it EXT. MEXICO. DAY [Crying inconsolably in a hammock] COSMIC AVENGER (as a bird) I WILL AVENGE THIS!!!!! Man, I miss that bird, I wonder if he ever sings “I miss that girl” Gosh, he followed me everywhere I loved to hear him there, Even when I moved, He found me Must have been God in that bird Must have been God on that mountain talking some shit about Jimmy Fallon –That was a long fast. (The f*****g longest) My veins, they ached At least a week, I think Some haloed being, Urging me to urgently just spill the blood for sweet relief, Wavering, I needed something Soothing, pleading Leaning in my weakness Back and forth , And that was when The fascination displayed With affection the affliction of infliction and in reflection of James turned Patrick Her turned to the successor He returned up to the surface The servitor became the alter After all and only in ever after The Procter, A doctor astonished him In neverland, somewhere beyond Asension Where the story starts and ends, Here. Oh man. This Jimmy Fallon dude is gonna f*****g hate me Who is that again? I don't f*****g know, honestly. Hello, John. Woah. Don't open this box. Okay. woah , this just came in crystal clear.. [A young and disheveld looking, tired young man turns on the television; Some sort of special, hosted by a popular commedienne and actress sparks his interest almost magnetically, and even seems to call to him.] Why, Hello, Jim. I'm–I'm Jim. Well, you're James. I am James! For now, actually. Well, forever, actually… Wtf is this. This is a parallel dimension, I guess, where everything that happened to me, just happens to this guy, and I'm— wait , who are you then. I'm glad you're watching this. Wait, who are you? I'm you! I–doubt that. Don't. Huh! F**k, that's when I started wondering about– HEY. What the f**k, man. Did we ever figure out Jimmy Fallon's Skrillex? Not…yet, but… No. No. no. NO. It's not like i've tried to. You see, As they say This Fallon Is the front man for a larger operation at hand Hold onto your hat kids, Here comes the axe, Have your heads ready To get disconnected at the neck, Cause this shit gets NECK- BREAK. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH Crazy. No political affiliations, ever! Your inattention to the deficit, the prerequisite Inquizitive kid, this one A wizard at this, that He waxes and waxes off, Smokes with his left hand And slaps the shit out of that oncoming diaster with his right SLAP. AaaaaaaYY. That's for–the bike incident. Okay. alright, Fallon. You win. That's f*****g right, and I'm gonna keep winning. Now get your shit together. Oh. And stop calling me Fallon; My name's Patrick. What is WRONG with him (I'm doing this method) I don't think this dude is eligible to play this character at all, but i'll just dedicate it to him— He is devistatingly attractive, and apparently super-professional so, Of course They had to hire him for SNL, but also…. THIS SHIT NEVER ENDS, DOES IT? NOPE. MORE CORNBREAD? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA YES PLEASE. his punctuality is perfect; His punchlines, astounding In actuality, he's kind of an a*****e Abandoned Catholosism for entertainment It's just engrained in him to be deranged, Rearranged his images for campaigns against hatred Hey, lets save this for another lesson, Okay, kids? The worst part is I think i'm a genius The other worst part is, Nobody can read this The other worst part Is the worst part of all I got words But no money to dream with It's just sequences of sequence Beyoncé dancing with coffee The plot thins and gets thick again Cause my budget alternates between ketogenics and cost-effective carb days My neighborhood's getting worse It's covered in trash and littered with ignorant [explitive] Motorists interrupting arcadian rhythms And all i want is some dick And fried chicken I'm so tired of this The American Nightmare Could be a dream, but then i'd be Up there On stage A fast forward I been up for four days Hard working as ever In a hard hat, I'm so blazed And these days Tina Fey just says “Hey” every now and again Cause i've been obsessed With her success/or It f****n sucks, man It came on suddenly What if i told you I've been attached to this project since the beginning When's the beginning? Uhhh, i'd say, :”get out of my head, Jimmy Fallon, you're an imaginary Psycho f*****g fart created as a result of my brain collapsing after imminent death from a successful suicide?” Is that a question? It had a question mark on it for inflection. Well, inflect this: you're right. I fucking–hate you. Okay! I'm assuming you also hate yourself, And you're also Skrillex. Okay, you're only correct, because that's entirely accurate, And also, you're Jesse Eiseinberg. Okay. OKay. OKAY? OKAY. F**k, I hate you. I f*****g hate you.
