Fostering Conversations with Utah Foster Care

Utah Foster Care
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Utah Foster Care guides real and raw conversations about parenting for bio, foster, adoptive or blended families to increase understanding of issues we all experience as families. Utah Foster Care's mission is to develop innovative strategies to help recruit, train, and retain foster families.

  1. May 12

    Ep 71: First-Time Fostering

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith welcomes back Laura from Foster Parenting to discuss her first book, First Time Fostering. Designed as a practical field guide, the book brings together real-world strategies, scripts, and community-sourced wisdom to support new foster and kinship caregivers. Laura explains why she created a manual that caregivers can jump into by topic, rather than reading cover to cover. The conversation explores how the book helps families who are licensed, waiting for placement, or already feeling overwhelmed. They dive into what caregivers can control inside their homes, from building trust and connection to handling sleep, food, boundaries, and hard conversations.  Amy and Laura also discuss preparing friends and family for fostering, responding to inappropriate questions, advocating with caseworkers, knowing when to say no to a placement, and supporting permanent children already in the home. This episode offers reassurance, validation, and practical tools for foster parents at every stage. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why First Time Fostering was written as a practical, topic-based field guide How new foster parents can use the book when they feel overwhelmed What caregivers can control inside their homes, even when the system feels chaotic The power of scripts and role-play for hard parenting moments How to prepare friends, family, and community before placements arrive Ways to respond to inappropriate or insensitive questions Why saying no to a placement can sometimes be the most supportive choice The importance of putting agreements with caseworkers in writing How fostering impacts permanent children in the home Why flexibility and reassessment are essential throughout the year Resources mentioned: First Time Fostering by Laura Available through major retailers via https://firsttimefostering.com Follow Laura on Instagram at Foster.Parenting Learn more about foster care in Utah at Utah Foster Care Transcript Amy: Tune in to today’s episode we chat with Laura from Foster Parenting. Talking about her first book a must read for all foster parents. Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Laura from Foster Parenting. That is what she’s known for on her Instagram, and she’s joining us again for the second podcast and we’re so excited to have her. Thanks for being here, Laura. Laura: Thanks so much for having me back. Amy: I’m excited because you are putting out a book. Yes,...

    26 min

  2. Apr 7

    Ep 70: Still Standing

    In this powerful episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with former foster youth Carlos Rios Redd to talk about lived experience in foster care, sibling separation, adoption disruption, resilience, and hope. Carlos entered foster care as a baby, lived in more than ten homes, and experienced three adoptions. Despite repeated trauma and instability, Carlos shares how relationships, faith, and supportive families helped shape the life he leads today. Now married and working as a K9 handler with the Utah Highway Patrol, Carlos reflects on how growing up in foster care influenced his compassion, maturity, and commitment to service. His story offers meaningful insight for foster parents, youth currently in care, and professionals who work within the child welfare system. In this episode, we discuss: What it is like to grow up in foster care and experience multiple adoptions The impact of sibling separation and staying connected Reconnecting with biological siblings after years apart Being a permanent child in a fostering household Resilience, healing, and allowing yourself to be loved Advice for youth currently in foster care Why maintaining relationships matters long after placements end Carlos speaks honestly about trauma without bitterness and shares why he believes connection is one of the most powerful tools for healing. Resources mentioned in this episode: Learn more about foster care in Utah: Utah Foster Care If you are a foster parent, considering fostering, or supporting youth in care, this episode offers perspective that is both grounding and hopeful. Transcript; I reformatted the transcript so the sentences flow correctly, broken lines are fixed, speakers start on new lines, and long sections are split into readable paragraphs for WordPress. I did not intentionally change wording—only line breaks and paragraph structure. Speaker: Join us for one of the most important aspects of foster care, former foster youth. Today we talk with Carlos who has gone through multiple homes and multiple adoption, and now he’s thriving. Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have a former foster youth, Carlos Rios-Redd. Thanks for being with us today, Carlos. Carlos: thank you for the invitation. Glad to be here. Amy: Yeah, we’re so excited to chat with you. I think this is one of the most important sides of foster care to discuss is the lived experience. So would you just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your story? Carlos: My name’s Carlos Rios-Redd shred. I grew up in foster care through the system about at a year old, and then lived through, 10 homes within 10 years and been adopted three different times. And, I guess left the system through adoption at the age of 14, but really never left because we always had kids coming into our home as well. So I was able to see both sides of the spectrum on, on the foster care system. Amy: Yeah. So you’ve been, had the lived experience and al...

    26 min

  3. Mar 10

    Ep 69: Reunification

    In Episode 69, Amy Smith sits down with longtime foster and adoptive mom Crystal Dukes for a heartfelt conversation about the real purpose of foster care: reunification. Crystal shares her family’s journey fostering more than 30 children, adopting through both private adoption and foster care, and developing deep, lasting relationships with biological families. This episode offers a candid, uplifting look at what it truly means to support reunification even when it’s challenging, emotional, and full of unknowns. What We Discuss • Why reunification is the primary goal of foster care • Crystal’s early experiences as a new foster parent and the mindset shift she had to make • The story of two young brothers placed in her home and how their mother’s gratitude changed everything • Navigating a Safe Haven baby placement and ultimately adopting her youngest son • Maintaining meaningful relationships with biological families long after reunification • The emotional complexity of children moving between homes • How foster families can cheerlead, support, and build trust with parents • A multi‑year case that transformed into a true village of caregivers • Advice for new or prospective foster parents • Why openness, compassion, and connection benefit everyone involved Key Takeaways • Foster care works best when caregivers approach it as a team effort with biological families. • Kids thrive when they can remain connected to parents, grandparents, and others who love them. • Reunification can be challenging but often leads to beautiful, long‑term relationships. • Supporting parents and honoring their role makes the experience healthier for children. • The more people loving a child, the better. Resources Mentioned Learn more about foster care in Utah at: https://www.utahfostercare.org About Our Guest Crystal Dukes is a former foster parent, adoptive mom, and advocate for reunification. Over seven years she and her husband cared for approximately 30 children, building ongoing relationships with many of the families they supported. Her compassionate, connection‑driven approach provides valuable insight for anyone exploring foster care. Listen & Subscribe New episodes of Fostering Conversations are released regularly. Subscribe on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss a conversation that matters. Transcript: Speaker: On today’s episode, we’ll be talking to a former foster adoptive mom about reunification. The entire goal of foster care is to reunify the kids in our home join us. Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Crystal Dukes, who is a foster and adoptive mom, and we are so glad to chat with her today. Thanks for being here, Crystal. Crystal: Thank you so much for having me. Amy: So we wanna just start off by letting our audience know who you are. So tell us a little bit about yourself. my name’s Crystal Jewkes like Amy said, and,My husband and I have been married for 27 years, and we have four kids of our own. We’ve had about 30 kids in and out of our homes, many of which we’re still, in contact with in one way or another. and it’s been a while. we were foster parents for seven years. our older kids actually are adopted and that’s what put got us, interested in foster care is to it, to go that route. Okay. Yeah. So you guys had adopted domestically or internationally? Privately, essentially. And then did foster care Crystal: an agency here. Yep. Amy: Okay. Okay, cool. So you’ve experienced both situations of adoption. That’s awesome. That’s really neat. So today’s podcast, we wanna focus on reunification. So we’ll start with that. The goal of foster care is to reunify these kids, right? We want th...

    25 min

  4. Feb 10

    Ep 68: Mentorship Program

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with Michelle Ostmark, the Statewide Mentoring Coordinator for Utah Foster Care, to discuss the Utah Foster Care Mentoring Program and why it matters. Michelle explains how the program pairs experienced foster parents with new or existing foster and kinship families to provide guidance, emotional support, and real-life insight throughout the fostering journey. From navigating first placements and court processes to coping with reunification, burnout, and self-care, mentors help ensure families don’t feel alone. The conversation highlights how mentoring builds community, strengthens placements, and improves outcomes for children by supporting the adults who care for them. Michelle also shares how the program began, its statewide growth, success stories, and how former foster parents can continue giving back as mentors—even if they’re no longer licensed. Learn how to request a mentor or become one at: https://utahfostercare.org/foster-parent-resources/mentors/ Transcript:  Welcome to Fostering Conversations. On today’s episode, we’ll be talking about the statewide Utah Foster Care Mentoring Program and its importance to our Utah foster families. Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Michelle Ostmark, who is the statewide mentoring coordinator for Utah Foster Care. Thanks for joining us, Michelle. Michelle: Thank you for having me. Amy: So we’re excited to talk about the mentoring program. It is part of Utah Foster Care and available to all of our foster families in the state of Utah. Is that correct? Michelle: It’s also available to kinship families that have gone through the licensing process or have started the licensing Amy: which is awesome. I think kinship, all foster families need support, but kinship have an added layer of need of support, so I love that you’ve included that now. Michelle: Yeah. I think it’s important that they also have support for the children that are coming into their home. They have the same. Needs that any other child coming into care have, and they just have an extra dynamic of having a personal relationship with the biological families. Amy: Yeah, absolutely. So let’s just start by what is the mentoring program? Michelle: So the mentoring program is designed to pair a seasoned foster family with a new or existing family that needs additional support, or. Resources in each of their communities. We gear it towards new families just so that as they’re starting their foster care journey, they’re able to have somebody that they can call and gather information from, learn what’s appropriate, what’s not, questions to ask as they’re getting placements in their home, um, when they’re struggling, when there’s. exciting news for a child or their family, they have somebody that they can share those things with. Yeah. So that they’re not feeling alone. Amy: I love that because I think back to when I started fostering and I didn’t know like anything, like you just like you get trained. But then you forget what you’re doing and then a kid shows up and you’re like, wait, what am I doing again? Yeah. Michelle: Yeah. And I think our training is amazing, Amy: It is. It’s beautiful. Michelle: But like during that process, you go through the training and then you wait for your licensing and approval, and oftentimes there’s a few months that pass by. Yeah. And so all of that training that you’ve had, you’re super excited. But once you get that call for that child, all of that training and al...

    26 min

  5. Jan 13

    Ep 67: Trust-Based Relational Intervention

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith sits down with Terumi Sagers, TBRI Specialist for Utah Foster Care, longtime foster parent, and adoptive parent. Together, they unpack the foundations of Trust‑Based Relational Intervention (TBRI)—a relationship‑centered, trauma‑informed caregiving approach developed by Dr. Karen Purvis and Dr. David Cross. This conversation is filled with real‑life examples, practical tools, and compassionate insights for foster parents, kinship caregivers, educators, and anyone raising children—because, as Terumi explains, TBRI works for all humans, not just those with trauma backgrounds. Episode Summary Terumi shares her extensive experience fostering, adopting, and training caregivers for over 15 years. She explains the three core TBRI principles—Connecting, Empowering, and Correcting—and why trust must be rebuilt from a “negative starting point” for many children who enter care. You’ll hear: How simple, consistent connection builds safety Why correcting behavior isn’t effective until trust is established How sensory needs, movement, nutrition, and hydration affect behavior Practical examples caregivers can implement today Clear guidance on where families (foster or not) can access TBRI training This episode is a comforting mix of vulnerability, practical strategy, and hope for caregivers navigating the complexities of trauma‑impacted parenting. Guest Terumi Sagers TBRI Specialist, Utah Foster Care 20 years as a foster parent • Adoptive parent • Trainer and practitioner Key Topics Covered 1. What Is TBRI? A trauma‑informed parenting philosophy centered on trust‑building and relational connection. Originally developed for children with trauma histories, but now shown to benefit all children and even adult relationships. 2. Why Trust Starts Below Zero Children in care often enter new homes with trauma, loss, and disrupted attachment. Caregivers must focus on connection to help kids reach “zero” before growth can begin. 3. The Three TBRI Principles Connecting: Relationship‑building through presence, attunement, and positive interactions. Empowering: Meeting physical and sensory needs (movement, hydration, blood sugar, calm environments). Correcting: Teaching life skills and addressing behavior after safety and connection are in place. 4. Real‑World Examples A withdrawn teen reconnecting through daily small affirmations. A family eliminating after‑school meltdowns simply by offering protein snacks and water right after pickup. 5. Training Opportunities Utah Foster Care’s 8‑class TBRI Caregiver Series (20 hours). Community resources including My Healing Home, Raise the Future, and online courses from TCU. 6. Becoming a TBRI Practitioner A rigorous process including 10 weeks of study, an intensive adult attachment interview, and a 5‑day immersive training. Resources Mentioned Books: The Connected Child and The Connected Parent by Dr. Karen Purvis Training: UtahFosterCare.org → TBRI Caregiver Series Community Providers: My Healing Home • Raise the Future Online Learning: TCU’s TBRI 101 resources ...

    28 min

  6. 12/09/2025

    Ep 66: Compassion in Action

    Podcast: Fostering Conversations Host: Amy Smith Guest: Dave, Owner of Dave’s Auto Episode Summary In this heartfelt episode, Amy sits down with Dave Bell from Dave’s Auto Center to discuss his incredible journey of giving back to the community through Utah Foster Care and other charitable initiatives. Dave shares the deeply personal story of his mother’s childhood in an orphanage, how that shaped his values, and why supporting foster families and children is so meaningful to him. From partnering with Mountain America Credit Union to organizing a massive community Christmas event, Dave’s passion for service shines through every story. Key Topics Covered Dave’s Background: From starting his auto shop in a storage unit to building a successful business over 36 years. Personal Connection: How his mother’s experience as an orphan inspired his commitment to foster care. The Power of Service: Why giving back changes lives—both for those who receive and those who give. Community Christmas Event: Details about the annual Family Community Christmas in Farmington, serving thousands of families with food, clothing, toys, and holiday cheer. Encouragement for Listeners: Practical ways to get involved and make a lasting impact during the holiday season. Memorable Quotes “Service is a dividend that pays double.” – Dave “Be careful what you fill your mind with—your life depends on it.” – Dave “One caring adult can make all the difference.” – Amy Resources & Links Utah Foster Care: utahfostercare.org Family Community Christmas (Farmington, UT): December 20th at Farmington Fair Park Mountain America Credit Union: macu.com Call to Action Want to make this holiday season meaningful? Join the Family Community Christmas event or support foster families in your area. Your time and kindness can change lives. Transcript: Amy: Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Dave with Dave’s Auto, Thank you so much for joining our podcast today. We’re excited to chat with you. Dave: I’m happy to be here. Thank you. Amy: So let’s start off by just introducing yourself, you know, what’s a little bit of your background and how did you get involved with Utah Foster Care? Dave: my background is, I’ve been a mechanic my whole life since I was 15. So that’s 50 years now. And I started the business here in Utah in 1990. So we’re starting our 36th year this year. And started in a storage unit in the dead of winter with no heat. And Lord, I’ve been very blessed. So that’s a little bit about me and where I came from and why I’ve gotta shop. Mountain American Credit Union came to me last year, a little before Christmas, and asked me to collaborate with them with Utah Foster Care. And I was so honored to do it, and they didn’t even know it. They just came to me because they wanted a a working kind of guy to be part of their ad campaign and everything. And then through, meeting the people and you know, talking to Utah foster care and everything a story came up and that story is probably why this is so near and dear to me, but no one knew that. But it’s unusual how people will get put in your life or you’ll get put in people’s lives and then it’s an answer to somebody’s prayer. You know, for me it’s an answer to my prayer ’cause I can give back. I’ve been so blessed in my life. And I hope that in some way t...

    26 min

  7. 11/11/2025

    Ep 65: Blocked Care

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith talks with Utah Foster Care clinical support specialist and LCSW Les Harris about blocked care: why it happens, how it impacts foster parents, and practical steps to restore connection. Les explains how chronic stress can suppress the parenting response system, making it difficult to feel joy or affection toward a child, even when we deeply care. They discuss what blocked care looks like, why it’s different from burnout, how small “doses” of positive interaction can rebuild connection, and why acceptance, playfulness, curiosity, and empathy are powerful tools for healing relationships. Resources mentioned in this episode Brain-Based Parenting by Daniel Hughes & Jonathan Baylin What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey Utah Foster Care Clinical Support Services Transcript: Amy: On today’s episode, we’re talking to Les Harris, a Utah foster care clinical support specialist, and LCSW about blocked care and how it affects foster parents. Welcome to Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith. Today we have Les Harris who works for Utah Foster Care as the clinical support specialist, and also is an LCSW. Welcome Les. Les: Thank you. Happy to be here. Amy: Today we’re excited to be talking about blocked care. Blocked care really affects foster parents, but it affects all parents. So will you give us the dumb down version of what blocked care is? Les: It’s one of those terms that’s relatively recent in the trauma informed literature, even though we know it’s been around forever. So it’s often used in, as you said, in foster care, adoptive care and in parenting in general. It’s a, it’s refers to the chronic stress that often comes with working with children with difficult emotions and behaviors, and forces the parent then to shut down emotionally and almost stop caring about the child. It’s and in other words, they no longer find joy in parenting, and that’s one of the most common outcomes where. Foster and adoptive parents, when they get pushed emotionally, their own parenting response system starts to shut down, and the next thing they know, they don’t even want to be around the child anymore. And so that’s the basic definition but there’s so much more to it in the context of why does that happen? What do I do about it when it happens? And so on and so forth. So we’ll probably get into to more of that as we go. Amy: Yeah, I know that when I started fostering, I had never heard that term. It was very interesting to me to learn about it from you and from different classes and things that I went to as a foster parent to, to understand that. So maybe we can just start, by talking about what are some of the reasons why a parent might be facing blocked care? Les: Yes. I think that’s important because once we have a bit of awareness about the underlying causes and why it’s happening, then it gives me at least some information I could use to, to change some things about my approach to parenting, some of the most difficult children that will ever encounter. So, Let me go back. I’m gonna get back to basics. Talk a little bit about. The idea that all humans, are born with an instinct, as we get older, particularly, and you can even see this in young children, but particularly as we start to get a certain age, we start to, that nurtur...

    32 min

  8. 10/07/2025

    Ep 64: Building Care Communities

    In this episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy Smith welcomes Utah’s First Lady Abby Cox to announce the statewide launch of the Care Communities program. After a successful two-year pilot with Utah Foster Care, Care Communities are expanding across the state to provide essential support for foster families and children in care. Abby shares how this initiative was born out of a desire to strengthen foster care in Utah and ensure that every child has a safe and supportive environment. The Care Communities model surrounds each foster family with 8–10 trained volunteers who provide emotional support, physical assistance, and trauma-informed care. This helps foster parents feel less isolated and ensures children in care have healthy, lasting connections with caring adults. Key highlights from this episode: Statewide Care Communities launch – a first-of-its-kind effort in Utah. The top three benefits foster families experience: emotional support, physical help, and positive impact on children. How Care Communities prevent burnout and keep families fostering longer. Success stories from the pilot program, including mentorship moments, adoption celebrations, and lifelong community bonds. Practical ways listeners can get involved, even if they aren’t able to foster themselves. Abby emphasizes that Care Communities not only support foster families but also give children the community connections they desperately need. This initiative is backed by faith organizations, nonprofits, local businesses, and state agencies—all working together to improve outcomes for Utah’s most vulnerable kids.  Learn more or sign up at utahcarecommunities.org  Explore Utah Foster Care programs at utahfostercare.org Transcript Fostering Conversations Podcast Episode 64: Building Care Communities Amy: Thanks for joining us for Fostering Conversations. I’m your host, Amy Smith, and today we have our amazing guest and First Lady Abby Cox. Thanks for joining us, Abby. Abby: Thanks so much for having me. Amy: So we are excited. Today is a special episode because, there is an exciting announcement that Abby is going to share with us. So go ahead and share that with us and we’ll dive in. Abby: we are super excited to announce that we are having a statewide launch of our Care Communities program. So we have been doing a two year pilot, around this Care Communities program. We’ve had. Great successes. We’ve had some incredible stories. we are thrilled with the outcomes, frankly, of what we’ve been seeing, and we are ready to launch statewide, which is very exciting. Amy: It is so exciting and honestly for me as a former employee, this is flown by, so I can’t believe it’s already out of the two year pilot and ready to go, so that’s exciting. So would you just tell us a little bit about why you started the Care Communities program, why you joined up with Utah Foster Care to create this specific program? Abby: Yeah, so when I got into this position,and wanted to see where in child welfare, really didn’t know that much about it, but knew that I wanted to, see if there was. Somewhere that I could have an impact or that my team could really maybe help in ways that, that some of the other organizations needed. And so for us, it was, it really was a learning thing. and the more I got into it, and the more I started learning about it, the more, I learned great organizations...

    28 min
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Utah Foster Care guides real and raw conversations about parenting for bio, foster, adoptive or blended families to increase understanding of issues we all experience as families. Utah Foster Care's mission is to develop innovative strategies to help recruit, train, and retain foster families.

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