The Good Girl Game Changers

Dr. Michelle McQuaid, Evie Wright
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Helping women break free of their ‘good girl’ beliefs with practical evidence-based tools to embody their 'kickass self'.

  1. Jun 16

    What's The Worst Thing People Might Discover About You?

    What if failing didn't mean you were fundamentally flawed but simply that you were human? In this episode, Chelle revisits her favourite conversation with Stanford professor and world-leading mindset researcher Dr. Carol Dweck, and unpacks the insight that finally gave her permission to let go of perfectionism. 0:32: Chelle shares the a-ha moment from her conversation with Carol Dweck that shifted her relationship with failure and perfectionism4:39: Dr. Carol Dweck shares what her research reveals about mindsets and success5:41: How fixed vs. growth mindsets affect confidence — and why setbacks hit differently depending on which lens you're using7:12: Why women are particularly vulnerable to fixed mindset fragility (and what the research says about why)8:50: Where our mindsets come from: the surprising role of parental praise from as early as age one10:54: What adults can do to start shifting fixed mindset beliefs — including noticing the voice in your head14:10: Carol's story: a graduate student who invited senior faculty to critique her teaching — and what happened next16:02: Carol's Silicon Valley experiment: what happened when a team made "struggle" a daily conversation16:52 : The mastery curve — white-knuckling your way up, and how understanding the process creates self-compassion17:49: Navigating growth mindset inside a fixed mindset organisation20:40: Chelle's "screw up of the week" leadership practice — and why she always had to go first22:26: Growth mindset and wellbeing: why the brain literally rewires as we learn, and why it sometimes hurts23:30: Closing reflections and resources: Carol's book Mindset, the Breaking Free Studio, and the GGGC website25:37: Evie and Chelle debrief: the cringe factor of listening back to your own voice — and finding grace for past-you

    27 min

  2. Jun 10

    Are You As Kind To Yourself As You Are To Everyone Else?

    If you have questions, challenges, or favorite tools of your own, ⁠⁠email us⁠⁠ — we'll feature them in the episodes ahead. Are you looking for a group of like-minded women to do this messy, beautiful work with? Come and join us for 30 days freeat The Breaking Free Studio: ⁠https://shop.thegoodgirlgamechangers.com/the-breaking-free-studio⁠ Have you ever noticed how easy it is to say something warm and encouraging to a friend who's struggling and how quickly that same generosity disappears the moment you turn it on yourself? According to Dr. Kristin Neff, one of the world's leading researchers on self-compassion, there's a very good reason it happens.  [00:02] Evie and Chelle introduce today's vault favorite — a conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research. [02:05] Evie connects Kristin's work to the research finding that 92% of women feel the pressure to be a good girl is now coming from within themselves [03:25] Kristin unpacks why people raised as girls tend to be warm and caring toward others, yet often struggle to extend that same care to themselves [06:26] Kristin walks through the three elements of self-criticism — self-judgment, isolation, and over-identification — and how we use them to try to protect ourselves from pain [11:58] Kristin and Chelle explore why it's important not to beat ourselves up for beating ourselves up — and how the three positive components of self-compassion work like a seesaw to reduce self-criticism [17:17] Kristin introduces the quintessential self-compassion question — What do I need right now? — and unpacks the two faces of self-compassion: tender acceptance and fierce action [20:07] Kristin explores why drawing boundaries, feeling anger at injustice, and meeting our own needs are all acts of fierce self-compassion. [23:26] Kristin shares her favourite three-step self-compassion practice. [28:18] Kristin introduces the concept of "backdraft" — why opening to self-compassion can sometimes intensify pain, and how to slow the practice down so it feels safe [30:33] Kristin wraps with a key takeaway — self-compassion is already in our back pocket, we just need to give ourselves permission to do the U-turn. [32:12] Post-show reflection

    34 min

  3. Jun 4

    Are You Safe Enough To Be Imperfect?

    If you have questions, challenges, or favorite tools of your own, ⁠email us⁠ — we'll feature them in the episodes ahead. Are you looking for a group of like-minded women to do this messy, beautiful work with? Come and join us for 30 days freeat The Breaking Free Studio: https://shop.thegoodgirlgamechangers.com/the-breaking-free-studio⁠ When you remember a recent moment of tryingto be a ‘good girl" — performing perfectly, pleasing everyone, or protecting others at your own cost — who was really expecting you to behave that way? In our latest research, two years on from our quantitative study of more than 1,000 Australian women, we went back and asked exactly that question. 92% named themselves. What began around age 11 as a set of external instructions — be quiet, be helpful, don't make a fuss — has gradually become our internal framework as grown women. [03:00] Chelle takes us back to where theresearch began two years ago, and how good girl conditioning — performing perfectly, pleasing everyone, and protecting others — often takes hold by around age 11 [05:00] Chelle walks through the 2024 quantitative research with more than 1000 Australian women that uncovered the three tools to help break free of good girl beliefs — self compassion, secure attachment, and self-leadership [06:37] Evie introduces the new 2026 qualitative focus group of 15 women that revisited the findings two years on. [07:00] Evie shares research insight #1 — 92% of the women said the pressure to be a good girl is now coming most strongly from themselves, not from bosses, partners, or the outside world [10:00] Chelle explores why understanding the systems that groomed us matters more than self-blame when we notice these internalised pressures. [11:23] Chelle shares research insight #2 — self-compassion, secure attachment, and self-leadership are quietly building self-trust underneath it all [13:30] Chelle shares her morning beachpractice of three reminders — "I am safe enough, I am loved enough, and I am resourced enough" [17:00] Chelle reframes success around howwe show up to each moment — advocating for ourselves, asking for help, and choosing not to abandon ourselves [19:24] Evie and Chelle look ahead to Season 4, and invite listeners to send in questions, tips, and favourite tools for future episodes [23:32] Post-show reflection

    24 min

  4. 12/09/2025

    Can We Move Beyond Gender?

    Have you ever walked away from a conversation about men and women feeling more stuck than when you started? You made your point. They made theirs. And somehow you both ended up further apart than before. It’s exhausting — the same arguments, the same defensiveness, the same feeling that for someone to win the other side has to lose. After a while, you start wondering: is there another way to do this? Or are we just destined to keep circling? [02:44] Chelle shares Aha #1: how early socialisation creates “thin stories” that disconnect women from their voices and men from their capacity to care. [06:51] Evie introduces Tool #1: Break Free of the Gender Cage with three steps—spot the cage, open the door with curiosity, and walk free by seeing the human, not the stereotype. [10:36] Chelle shares Aha #2: compassion and accountability aren’t opposites—they’re partners. Without both, we stay stuck in shame, blame, or performance mode. [13:28] Chelle introduces Tool #2: Own It with three accountability questions—What’s mine to own? Have I made my expectations clear? If boundaries were crossed, have I voiced it? [21:34] Chelle shares Aha #3: thriving requires partnership. Not “facing off,” but sitting side-by-side, working through the mess together—because complexity demands collaboration. [28:26] Evie shares Tool #3: Embrace the Mess & the Magic by “looking for the AND.” Notice binary thinking, pause with a hand on your heart, and make space for two truths. [33:51] Chelle and Evie explore examples of using the AND in real life—slowing down, widening perspective, and softening defensiveness. [34:32] Chelle summarizes the three ahas and three tools from the season: thick stories, accountability with compassion, and embracing complexity with the AND. [37:09] Post-show wrap-up with Evie & Chelle. Want more? 💗 DOWNLOAD THE FREE SELF-COMPASSION TOOLKITSelf-compassion research shows us that when we meet our struggles with understanding rather than criticism, we activate our brain’s natural caregiving system - allowing us to maintain high standards while releasing the crushing weight of perfectionism. Using the FREE framework—Feel it, Release it, Experiment with it, Evolve it—this toolkit will help you build self-compassion that is sustainable. Get your toolkit.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now. 💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

    39 min

  5. 12/02/2025

    Sarah Wilson: Why We Need Each Other Now

    Have you noticed how quickly gender conversations turn into battles we can’t seem to win? She said this, he did that, who has it worse, who should apologize first. But once we’re locked in—your suffering versus mine, who should apologize first—we’re trapped in a zero-sum game. So how do we free our energy from the gender wars, not by hating the players but by changing the game? [00:00] Chelle introduces Sarah Wilson — multi–New York Times bestselling author, social philosopher, and host of Wild with Sarah Wilson. [01:51] Chelle and Sarah discuss why the growing gender divide is emerging so sharply at this point in history. [06:37] Chelle and Sarah reflect on the fear underlying gender tensions and why energy is being directed toward gender conflict rather than broader global challenges. [09:40] Chelle and Sarah discuss how neoliberalism removed community guardrails and how this has impacted men’s emotional and social development. [11:27] Chelle and Sarah explore the idea of changing the “game” rather than blaming the “players,” and why collaboration is essential. [12:06] Chelle and Sarah unpack the concept of the Moloch scenario and how zero-sum traps show up in climate action, AI development, nuclear arms, and everyday social behaviour. [17:41] Chelle and Sarah discuss compassion as a messy, nonlinear process and how accountability unfolds within complexity. [20:23] Chelle and Sarah discuss how everyday conversations — not just public forums — can model gender compassion and cultural change. [24:48] Chelle and Sarah talk about Sarah’s upcoming 2026 book release and how community discussion has shaped the writing. [26.00] Chelle & Evie post-show discussion. Want more? 💗 DOWNLOAD THE FREE SELF-COMPASSION TOOLKITSelf-compassion research shows us that when we meet our struggles with understanding rather than criticism, we activate our brain’s natural caregiving system - allowing us to maintain high standards while releasing the crushing weight of perfectionism. Using the FREE framework—Feel it, Release it, Experiment with it, Evolve it—this toolkit will help you build self-compassion that is sustainable. Get your toolkit.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now. 💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

    30 min

  6. 11/26/2025

    Celeste Davis: Can We Stop Playing The Blame Game?

    Have you noticed how quickly conversations about gender turn into competitions about who has it worse? One side insists men are the real victims—look at the loneliness epidemic, the education gaps, the suicide rates. The other side counters that women are the real victims—look at the violence statistics, the unpaid labor, the centuries of having our voices silenced. Both sides race to claim the prize of victimhood. But what might be possible if we quit playing the blame game? [00:02] Chelle introduces writer of the Substack publication - Matriachal Blessing - Celeste Davis. [02:12] Celeste and Chelle discuss how online (and offline) gender debates often devolve into opposing victim narratives and why this competitive framing is ineffective. [05:52] Celeste explains the Drama Triangle dynamics and how the Victim–Persecutor–Rescuer cycle keeps us stuck in blame rather than solutions. [08:42] Chelle reflects on how hard it is to escape reactive roles, noting how our brains cling to them for a false sense of safety. [09:41] Celeste introduces the conflict escalation model, outlining the three stages — rational, emotional, and fight — and how rising tension shifts goals from compromise, to winning, to wanting the other side to lose. [13:59] Celeste and Chelle discuss how patriarchy (and other power systems) benefit from keeping men and women divided. [19:12] Celeste and Chelle explore “two truths at once,” using the Richard Reeves example to illustrate how focusing only on male pain OR only on male harm creates incomplete stories. [23:28] Celeste shares her personal story, from a Mormon upbringing and forgiveness-only tools, through awakening rage, to eventually developing a more balanced view: men are harmed and men harm. [26:21] Celeste shares how she speaks and supports her sons and daughters. [30:43] Chelle reflects on teaching her own sons to see and “bend” systems, not just comply with them. [33:17] Chelle and Celeste highlight the difference between fitting in and belonging, and how long-term benefits of authenticity outweigh short-term approval losses. [35:56] Post-show with Chelle & Evie Want more? 💗 DOWNLOAD THE FREE SELF-COMPASSION TOOLKITSelf-compassion research shows us that when we meet our struggles with understanding rather than criticism, we activate our brain’s natural caregiving system - allowing us to maintain high standards while releasing the crushing weight of perfectionism. Using the FREE framework—Feel it, Release it, Experiment with it, Evolve it—this toolkit will help you build self-compassion that is sustainable. Get your toolkit.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now. 💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

    37 min

  7. 11/18/2025

    How Gender Conditioning Keeps Us From Connecting

    Ever noticed how much pressure there is for ‘good girls’ to perform compassion and for ‘strong boys’ to avoid it? [00:00] Evie & Chelle share the gender expectations they're shaking off. [02:00] Chelle shares Ah Ha #1: how early socialization creates deeply different relationships with compassion—women often perform it to earn love, while men armor up against it for survival. [06:20] Evie introduces Tool #1: Reaching for Compassion with four steps: listen to learn, understand to know, connect to capabilities, and then act to solve. [11:15] Evie shares Aha #2: Accountability isn't about blaming and punishing someone, but partnering together. [12:42] Chelle introduces Tool #2: Own It with three questions to do our accountability work first: What's mine to own? Have I made my expectations clear? If boundaries were crossed, have I voiced it? [17:57] Chelle shares Aha #3: We can't just do our own work—healthy accountability requires partnership. [20:36] Evie shares Tool #3: Share the Load with four steps: get clear on expectations (for me, for you, for us), check motivation levels, decide how to track progress, and adjust as needed when things go off track. [23:33] Chelle shares a vulnerable story about her son Charlie holding her accountable. [30:54] Chelle summarizes the three ahas and three tools covered in the episode. [34:22] Post-show discussion with Evie and Chelle. Want more? 💗 DOWNLOAD THE FREE SELF-COMPASSION TOOLKITSelf-compassion research shows us that when we meet our struggles with understanding rather than criticism, we activate our brain’s natural caregiving system - allowing us to maintain high standards while releasing the crushing weight of perfectionism. Using the FREE framework—Feel it, Release it, Experiment with it, Evolve it—this toolkit will help you build self-compassion that is sustainable. Get your toolkit.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now. 💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

    35 min

  8. 11/11/2025

    Dr. Paige Williams: What We Get Wrong About Accountability

    Accountability isn’t about blame. It’s not about compliance. It’s actually about clarity, integrity, and honoring what matters in our relationships with each other. This is how compassion and accountability work together. [01:28] Chelle welcomes Paige and reflects on their past cliff-top conversation that inspired this episode. [02:27] Paige and Chelle explore how performance, protection, and disconnection are human dynamics shaped by patriarchal systems, not just gender ones. [05:53] Paige and Chelle explain how compassion and accountability are not opposites but coexisting forces. [10:09] Paige invites listeners to start with what’s mine to own?—recognizing human bias, clarifying expectations, and voicing boundaries rather than assuming others can read our minds. [15:20] Paige and Chelle discuss how early conditioning teaches us to betray our own needs and how accountability begins by reclaiming our truth. Paige shares her “6Ws Framework”to help clarify expectations and communicate cleanly. [24:07] Paige reframes accountability as partnering rather than policing—a dynamic that activates choice, agency, and mutual understanding. [36:21] Paige and Chelle distinguish between local safety (protecting ourselves in harmful relationships) and global openness (not letting those experiences define our worldview). [40:36] Paige and Chelle reflect on how cultural norms calcify both women and men—women shrink, men harden. [42:34] Paige shares her closing remark: accountability is an act of love. [44:18] Chelle and Evie post-show discussion. Want more? Please note: We are mindful that ‘girl’, ‘woman’, ‘boy’ and ‘man’ are socially constructed ideas of gender that can fall painfully short of defining the fabulous complexity of who we each are. If these words resonate with part of how you have previously or currently identified yourself, we’d love to hear about your lived experiences. 💗 DOWNLOAD THE FREE SELF-COMPASSION TOOLKITSelf-compassion research shows us that when we meet our struggles with understanding rather than criticism, we activate our brain’s natural caregiving system - allowing us to maintain high standards while releasing the crushing weight of perfectionism. Using the FREE framework—Feel it, Release it, Experiment with it, Evolve it—this toolkit will help you build self-compassion that is sustainable. Get your toolkit.📚 DISCOVER THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT BOOKS If you’ve ever felt pressured to be good, The Perfectly Imperfect Women’s Journal and The Perfectly Imperfect Companion Workbook will help you break free. With real stories, research-backed insights, and powerful exercises, these books will give you the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and step into your own power. It’s time to rewrite the rules and start living on your terms. Get your copies now. 💃 BECOMING UNIQUELY YOU Break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-doubt with the Uniquely You Workshop & Tools Bundle. Through three powerful workshops, you’ll gain the confidence to trust yourself, set boundaries, and lead with authenticity. With lifetime access, you can move at your own pace and start making real change today. Start your journey now.

    45 min
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About

Helping women break free of their ‘good girl’ beliefs with practical evidence-based tools to embody their 'kickass self'.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Michelle McQuaid, Evie Wright
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    63
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Dr. Michelle McQuaid, Evie Wright
  • Show Website
    The Good Girl Game Changers