Down The Rabbit Hole: Unfiltered

Lindsay-Michele
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Personal Journals

I know what it feels like to lose yourself in abuse. The manipulation. The silence. The emotional wreckage they never warn you about. I’ve lived it. Down The Rabbit Hole is where we stop pretending healing is easy. This space is raw, real, and made for survivors finding their way back to themselves. You are not broken. You are rebuilding. And you are not doing it alone.

Episodes

  1. Jan 12

    I'M NO LONGER SHRINKING TO BE DIGESTIBLE

    EPISODE 9: I’m No Longer Shrinking to Be Digestible (Everything I Know About My Light Was Taught by My Darkness) This episode isn’t about healing in a pretty way. It’s about what abuse actually teaches you to do in order to survive. I talk about how trauma conditioned me to become digestible. How I learned to disappear without realizing I was doing it. How being adaptable, agreeable, and “easy” slowly erased my sense of self. This episode traces where that pattern started, how it followed me through friendships, work, relationships, and everyday life, and what it cost me to keep surviving that way. We talk about: • How abuse trains you to explain yourself to stay safe • Why being “understanding” can actually be self-erasure • The difference between being understood and being aligned • What happens when you stop shrinking and people lose access to you • Why growth doesn’t always feel lighter, just clearer There’s no packaged takeaway here. No clean ending. No version of this story made easier to swallow. Just truth, presence, and the moment you stop negotiating your own existence. If you’ve ever felt like you disappeared to keep the peace, this episode will land. Trigger Warning: This episode contains a discussion of sexual assault and trauma responses. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors 1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) BetterHelp or Open Path Collective: Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders International Directory: therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)

    47 min

  2. 12/18/2025

    TRY TO RELAX? BABE, MY NERVOUS SYSTEM DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THAT SETTING EXISTS

    Episode 8: Try to Relax? Babe, My Nervous System Doesn’t Even Know That Setting Exists You’re not in danger anymore… so why does your body still feel like it is? In this episode, Lindsay-Michele talks honestly about what happens after you leave trauma. When your life finally looks calm on the outside, but your nervous system refuses to stand down. This isn’t about “calming down” or fixing yourself. It’s about understanding why chronic trauma lives in the body, why healing doesn’t feel peaceful, and why being safe doesn’t automatically mean feeling safe. Lindsay-Michele shares her lived experience with hypervigilance, exhaustion, dissociation, and the grief that comes with realizing how long the body has been in survival mode. She breaks down what nervous system regulation actually looks like in real life, without the Instagram version of healing. If you’ve ever wondered why you’re still tense, wired, or exhausted even after the danger is gone, this episode is for you. Want to go deeper? Lindsay-Michele is hosting a free, once-a-month space called The Stripped Down Hour — a real, informal place to slow down, connect, and dive deeper into these topics. 👉 Sign up here: https://www.lindsay-michele.com/stripped-down-hour

    47 min

  3. 11/18/2025 ·  Bonus

    The why behind the podcast, the book, and the breaking point that started it all.

    This deep dive pulls back every layer and finally tells the real reason I created Down the Rabbit Hole and wrote Stripped Down: Piece by F*cking Piece. This is the truth underneath everything I’ve put out into the world. The moment my life cracked open. The years of abuse, manipulation, and silence that pushed me to the edge. The collapse that forced me to stop pretending I was fine. It walks through the point where survival mode stopped working and the only way forward was speaking the story I spent years hiding. The emotional weight. The psychological damage. The nervous system breakdown. The spiritual unraveling. The exact moment I realized this wasn’t content for me. This was survival. Staying quiet was destroying me. This is my why. My core message. The heartbeat behind every chapter and every episode. A woman finally telling the truth she carried alone for too long so no one else has to feel that alone in theirs.

    11 min

  4. 11/17/2025

    THE SILENT POISON AND THE FIGHT TO BREATHE (48 Mins)

    EPISODE 7 | The Silent Poison and the Fight to Breathe: In this episode, I’m telling the truth most people never hear. The kind that lives behind closed doors and quiet smiles. The kind of abuse that destroys you from the inside out long before anyone realizes something is wrong. This isn’t a story about “just leaving.”It’s about what happens when you survive something that should have killed you, and then spend years trying to make sense of the pieces left behind. I talk about the night I almost didn’t make it out, the decade of fallout that rewired my entire nervous system, and the relationship that felt like a soul-level connection but ended up breaking me deeper than anything before it. This episode goes into the real aftermath — the panic, the numbness, the drinking, the self-doubt, the gaslighting you do to yourself because the world refuses to believe your story. It’s the truth about trauma bonding, emotional abuse, and what chronic trauma actually does to your body and your mind. If you’ve ever felt unseen, disbelieved, or blamed for the pain you didn’t cause, you’re not alone.If you’ve ever questioned your own memories because someone trained you to, you’re not crazy.If you’ve ever left abuse and wondered why everything still hurt afterward, this episode will make you feel understood. This is what survival really looks like.And this is what healing actually feels like. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care.Resources for SupportAbuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out.National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org(Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more)RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org(24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders)Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org(Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men)Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org(Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse)BetterHelp or Open Path Collective:Online, low-cost therapy options for all gendersInternational Directory:therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk(Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)Visit my website: lindsay-michele.comFollow on Instagram: @downtherabbithole.lmAll my Links: https://linktr.ee/downtherabbithole.lm❤️ You are not alone.#healing #traumarecovery #selflove #mentalhealth #resilience #lifecoach #inspiration #empowerment #narcissisticabuse #mindfulness #emotionalhealing

    49 min

  5. 10/30/2025

    I’M THE ‘CRAZY EX.’ CERTIFIED BY GASLIGHTERS ANONYMOUS.

    Episode 6: I’m the “Crazy Ex.” Certified by Gaslighters Anonymous You tell the truth, and suddenly you’re the problem. The liar. The dramatic one. The “crazy ex.” This episode exposes what really happens after you walk away from abuse—how the story gets rewritten, how friends disappear, and how the world believes the version that feels easier to hear. It’s about the smear campaigns, the silence of people who stayed “neutral,” and the moment you realize defending yourself only keeps you trapped in their game. Because when you stop fighting to clear your name, you start standing in it. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors 1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) BetterHelp or Open Path Collective: Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders International Directory: therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)

    27 min

  6. 10/09/2025

    THE BREAKTHROUGH THAT BREAKS YOU

    Episode 5: The Breakthrough That Breaks You What happens when the healing hits harder than the hurt? When the moment of clarity isn’t light—it’s heavy. When you finally see how deep it went and how much of you it shaped. In this episode, I talk about the side of healing no one warns you about—the part where awareness knocks the wind out of you, where the truth doesn’t feel freeing at first, it feels like breaking down everything you once believed about yourself. This isn’t about becoming new. It’s about facing what’s been there all along. The breakthrough that breaks you—before it rebuilds you. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors 1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) BetterHelp or Open Path Collective: Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders International Directory: therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)

    1h 14m

  7. 09/22/2025

    WAS IT ME?

    Episode 4: Was It Me? What do you do when the cycle repeats? When the faces change, but the abuse looks hauntingly familiar? In this episode, I open up about being in more than one abusive relationship — physical, verbal, and manipulative — and the question that haunted me for years: Was it me? We dig into the patterns survivors fall into, why unprocessed trauma repeats itself, how silence keeps us stuck, and the lie every abuser wants us to believe: that we’re the problem. This isn’t just my story — it’s the story of so many survivors who have carried shame that never belonged to them. Together, we’ll pull apart the silence, the gaslighting, the shame cycle, and finally flip the narrative. Because no, it wasn’t me. And if you’ve been there too, it wasn’t you either. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors 1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) BetterHelp or Open Path Collective: Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders International Directory: therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)

    42 min

  8. 09/09/2025

    THE LANGUAGE OF TRAUMA

    Episode 3: The Language of Trauma Trauma doesn’t just live in memories — it lives in the body, the brain, the nervous system. In this episode, I strip down the hidden reality of what it feels like to survive: the pretending, the shutdown, the silence that isn’t respected, and the aftermath people don’t talk about. This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s about the cost of survival and the messy, unpolished work of healing. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors 1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) BetterHelp or Open Path Collective: Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders International Directory: therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)

    51 min

  9. 08/21/2025

    “WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST LEAVE?”

    Episode 2- “Why didn’t you just leave?” “Why didn’t you just leave?” It’s the question every survivor hears — the one that blames us instead of the abuser. In this episode, I take you inside the hospital rooms, the police stations, the fear of leaving, the retaliation after, and the reality survivors live with every day. Leaving isn’t simple. It isn’t safe. And it isn’t the end of the story. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. ​National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) ​RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) ​Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors ​1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma): 1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) ​Male Survivor: malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) ​BetterHelp or Open Path Collective: Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders ​International Directory: therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence)

    42 min

  10. 08/18/2025

    THIS IS WHY I’M HERE

    Episode 1: This Is Why I’m Here This is where it starts. The silence, the shame, the years no one saw. In this first episode, I open the door to the truth most people avoid. Abuse. Isolation. Aftermath. This isn’t just my story—it’s what survivors live every day. Take what you need. Leave what you don’t. And learn to love yourself again—piece by f*cking piece. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussions of abuse, trauma, and mental health struggles that may be distressing or activating for some listeners. Please listen with care. Resources for Support Abuse doesn’t discriminate—and neither do the resources that can help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. ​National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.):800-799-7233 | thehotline.org (Free, confidential support for anyone in an abusive relationship—women, men, LGBTQIA+, teens, and more) ​RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network):800-656-HOPE | rainn.org (24/7 support for sexual assault survivors of all genders) ​Crisis Text Line:Text HOME to 741741 (U.S.) for immediate, free support from trained crisis counselors ​1in6 (for male survivors of sexual trauma):1in6.org (Support, therapy, and group resources specifically for men) ​Male Survivor:malesurvivor.org (Education, peer support, and healing spaces for men who have experienced sexual abuse) ​BetterHelp or Open Path Collective:Online, low-cost therapy options for all genders ​International Directory:therapyroute.com or womensupportproject.co.uk (Global support lists for emotional abuse, trauma, and domestic violence) ⸻

    39 min

  11. 06/26/2025 ·  Bonus

    Podcast Deep Dive: Why I Created Down The Rabbit Hole: Unfiltered

    This Deep Dive is the raw truth behind why I created Down The Rabbit Hole: Unfiltered. It’s not about healing being pretty or having it all figured out. This space is for the survivors—the ones still piecing themselves back together, still triggered, still rebuilding, still carrying the weight no one sees. You’ll hear the real story, the unfiltered aftermath, and the reason I had to create this space, not just for me—but for anyone who’s ever felt silenced, invisible, or broken by abuse. Stay tuned—the full podcast and my book, Stripped Down: Piece by F****g Piece, are coming soon.*

    8 min

  12. 06/26/2025 ·  Bonus

    Deep Dive from Stripped Down: Piece by F****g Piece*

    This deep dive comes straight from my upcoming book, Stripped Down: Piece by F****g Piece. It’s raw, real, and unfiltered—the same way this entire space is meant to be. I’m sharing my story not to relive the pain, but to raise awareness and remind anyone listening they aren’t alone in this. If you’ve ever felt lost, silenced, or shattered by trauma, this space is for you. Stay tuned—the full book is coming soon.* -Lindsay-Michele

    13 min
  • 12 Episodes

About

I know what it feels like to lose yourself in abuse. The manipulation. The silence. The emotional wreckage they never warn you about. I’ve lived it. Down The Rabbit Hole is where we stop pretending healing is easy. This space is raw, real, and made for survivors finding their way back to themselves. You are not broken. You are rebuilding. And you are not doing it alone.

Information