How to have Extraordinary Relationships

Lucy Cavendish
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Bimonthly

Well we have all wondered about it haven't we?And "Relationship" is a big word. Because if you think about it, we all have a relationship with everything don't we?Join us for fun facts, deep dives and every conceivable mind broadening angle of relationships.Reach out to Lucy on www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com

  1. 1d ago

    Channeling the Music: Creativity, Courage and a Woman's Journey in a Man's World with composer Dr Susannah Self S6 E4

    Send us Fan Mail Dr Susannah Self is a British composer, conductor and former mezzo soprano whose work spans opera, orchestral music and choral composition.  She is a highly successful woman in what is predominantly a man's world. Her compositions garner international acclaim. After an international singing career of more than 25 years, she turned her focus to composition, earning both an MPhil from the University of Cambridge and a PhD in Composition from Birmingham Conservatoire. She originally trained at the Royal College of Music, where she studied singing, composition and conducting, and also received scholarships from the Royal Society of Arts and the Banff Centre in Canada, where she worked with the pioneering composer John Cage.  Self has composed four operas, including The Butt, based on Will Self's novel and premiered at the Musiktheatertage Festival in Vienna, and Quilt Song, first performed in Birmingham in 2018. Her orchestral catalogue includes four symphonies, two of which have been recorded by the Moravian Philharmonic Orchestra. Her music has been commissioned by organisations including the Arts Council England, Birmingham Opera Company, Birmingham Contemporary Music Group and the Spitalfields Festival, and is published by Composers Edition.  Alongside her composing, Dr Self teaches at Junior Guildhall and has conducted numerous operatic productions. As a performer, she appeared with leading opera companies across Europe, including the Royal Opera House, Glyndebourne, Opera North and the Vlaamse Opera, singing a wide repertoire from Mozart and Britten to Philip Glass and contemporary works. Today, she continues to combine composition, conducting and education while championing new music and opera. Key points of the episode: Her life, composing and life in a man's world.Is her world as glamourous as it looks?How she was originally advised to be an opera singer and why.How employment differs in the UK and Europe and the best way to succeed.What she was like as a little 3 year old girlHow women composers were discouraged.The flow state of composing.The therapy she went through - Jungian style.The delicious response her therapist had to her doubts.Her amazing relationship with her "perfect match" partnerHow composers earn money (at the top)....and not.Conducter - or poet?How she makes a living- the same as the greats..Her sense of and interest in spirituality, but not religion as such.How brave you have to be- self daringWhat she would say to her 3 year old self.See her on her publishers websites Composers Edition UK Universal Edition Vienna Substack Next Performances - (Facebook) You Tube Soundcloud (ad free) Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  2. Jul 20

    The Last Ordinary Night: Kathryn Flett on Losing Her Son Jackson S6 E3

    Send us Fan Mail Kathryn Flett is one of Britain's best known journalists, critics and memoirists.  In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Kathryn discusses the unimaginable loss of her son Jackson and the long, complex journey through grief that followed. With extraordinary openness, she explores the many different shades of grief experienced by everyone involved, why she initially believed the police officer at her door was "talking nonsense", and why real life bore little resemblance to television, right down to there being just one police officer delivering the devastating news. She speaks candidly about the level of demonstrative love she found herself needing, the well-meaning but often "wrong" ways people responded, and the painful "reconfiguration of the address book" as friendships and relationships changed forever. She also recounts the emotional impact of the inquest, the unexpected shock that followed, and the slow, tentative process of re-entering the world through what she describes as "baby steps". It is an honest, compassionate and ultimately hopeful conversation about surviving the unsurvivable, finding a way forward, and learning to live alongside grief rather than trying to outrun it. Kathryn reflects on the role of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy in helping her process trauma, why she came to see blame as an unhelpful emotion, and the complicated aftermath that follows a sudden loss.  A former editor of Arena magazine and a long-time columnist for The Observer, The Guardian and other national publications, she has built a reputation for combining razor-sharp wit with remarkable emotional honesty. She is currently a Daily Mail's TV critic. Key points of the episode: The tragic story of how she lost her son.The different shades of grief experienced by all concerned.Why, when the police came, she did not immediately realise the seriousness of the situation.How she felt the policeman was "talking nonsense"Her treatment of EMDR- "Eye Movement Desensitiving (and) Reprocessing. Why there was only one police officer at the door (unlike on TV)Why blame she felt was an unhelpful emotion.The complicated aftermath.The level of demonstrative love that she needed.The "Wrong" ways people responded.The "reconfiguration of the address book."The inquest. And then the next shock.The re-entering the world. Baby Steps Check out her TV in the Daily Mail or ... kathrynflett.substack.com Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  3. Jul 7

    Being The Change; making meaningful choices about how we live with existential therapist Dr Stella Duffy | S6 E2

    Send us Fan Mail Dr Stella Duffy OBE is an existential psychotherapist, award-winning writer, speaker and theatremaker with a career spanning therapy, literature and the arts. Alongside her private practice, she has worked in NHS cancer support, hospice bereavement services and community mental health, helping people navigate life's biggest challenges with warmth, honesty and compassion.  Awarded an OBE for Services to the Arts, Stella is also the author of 17 novels, more than 70 short stories and numerous plays. Her doctorate in Existential Psychotherapy focused on the embodied experience of post-menopause, reflecting her passion for exploring what it means to live a rich, authentic and meaningful life.  Expect an engaging, thought-provoking evening as Stella shares insights into the human condition, resilience, creativity, and how we can all make better sense of ourselves and the lives we lead. Key Points of the Episode: How she was the first person in her family to finish secondary school!Existential therapy- she practises it- what is it?How she has been in therapy herself 3 times in her life.Her experience with cancer.Her first experience of existential therapy and how she encountered it.Her experience of the self help movement.Her current practise (hint - slowwwwww down!)Why she is such a "doer"Her thoughts on education and its privilege.Her thoughts and statistics on menopause and the importance of supporting women. (an old school view but still very relevant) The problem with current cultural attitudesWhat was really happening during the hunter/gathering period.Her new book.Sexuality and the freedom after menopause.The benefits of an existential outlook on life.A motivational message. Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  4. Jun 22

    Why We Fall For Dangerous People: Killing Eve's Luke Jennings on Villanelle, Eve and Moral Grey Areas S6 E1

    Send us Fan Mail Luke Jennings is the bestselling author and journalist whose self-published Villanelle novellas became the global phenomenon Killing Eve. Originally released as a series of Kindle Singles, Jennings' stories introduced readers to the brilliant and terrifying assassin Villanelle and the intelligence officer obsessed with tracking her down, Eve Polastri. The books quickly attracted attention and were adapted for television by acclaimed writer and creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge. What followed was one of the most successful British television dramas of recent years. Starring Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh, Killing Eve became a worldwide hit, winning major awards and earning a devoted international following. Jennings has described the experience of watching his creation evolve from a self-published passion project into a cultural phenomenon as both surreal and deeply rewarding. His latest book is Killing Eve: Medusa available now - yes Oksana and Eve live on.... Long before Villanelle arrived on our screens, Luke had established himself as one of Britain's most respected journalists and critics. He wrote for The Observer, Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, developing a reputation for sharp observation, stylish prose and a fascination with extraordinary people and hidden worlds. His novels include the Booker Prize-nominated Atlantic, as well as a wide range of fiction and non-fiction exploring subjects as varied as espionage, performance, identity, adventure and human obsession. Alongside his writing, he has also been recognised as one of Britain's leading dance critics - having trained as a ballet dancer - bringing the same insight and storytelling ability to the arts as he does to fiction. Today, Luke continues to write, with the world of Villanelle still evolving on the page long after the television series ended. His work combines literary craftsmanship with page-turning storytelling, creating characters who are intelligent, flawed, dangerous and unforgettable. From self-publishing a series of short novellas to inspiring one of the most talked-about television dramas of the 21st century, Luke Jennings' career is a reminder that sometimes the biggest stories begin in the most unexpected places. Key Points of the Episode: Why he self published his new book and how it was noticed by the right person and became a global phenomenon.The tricky, clunky part of publishing and how the market is differentSome of the characters in the book (and who they are a bit like in the real world!)The exciting plotliines discussed.The momentum of his success!The best way to do business meetings!Where to find the book.His books are available on Boldwood Books and Amazon Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  5. Jun 9

    From 60 to 20; How to Defy Aging- with Sandra Parsons- S5 E60

    Send us Fan Mail Sandra Parsons is a British journalist, editor, author, and qualified yoga instructor best known for her wellness and longevity work, including the book Age Less and the “Ageless Method.” Formerly an editor at The Times, Sandra combines personal experience with modern health science to explore ageing, wellbeing, and lifestyle transformation. After overcoming serious health challenges, she developed a practical approach focused on nutrition, movement, rest, and mindset, aiming to help people improve both vitality and longevity.  Her incredible biological ageWhat finally pushed her to changeThe research she has studiedThe incredible results of it.Why smoking is still seen as "cool"How she began to look and feel so much better.Why she (for good reasons) felt she had to carry on working despite not feeling good.The amazing - and most importantly doable discoveries from leading edge science.Seriously... easy and doable!The amazing benefits of fibre, and how it can help us.Where to find fibre easily.(Would you believe fibre is in raspberries?)Small changes is the key........and what they lead to.You can find Sandra on Insta Or.. Grab the book! Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  6. May 26

    Bad Maps and Good Intentions; Sophie Radice on the trials and tribulations of life beyond the comfort zone S5 E11

    Send us Fan Mail On this episode, writer and human rights campaigner Sophie Radice talks about many issues that need a deeper conversation; xenophobia, travel vs escape, identity and how she ended up on court after working in the Jungle in Calais. Her latest novel, The Year of Bad Maps, is a deeply personal and politically resonant story inspired by her solo travels across ten countries and her experiences surrounding the Calais refugee camps, being arrested and put on trial. Blending wit, travel writing and contemporary politics, the novel explores themes of migration, motherhood, friendship, ageism and xenophobia, while asking challenging questions about why movement is romanticised for tourists but criminalised for refugees. The book has been praised for tackling difficult political themes with warmth, humour and humanity rather than polemic. She is a British journalist, novelist and human rights campaigner whose work spans literature, politics, journalism and social justice. Over the course of a varied career, she has written for major publications including The Guardian, The Observer, The Independent, Vogue and The Sunday Times, developing a reputation for intelligent, compassionate writing that often explores identity, inequality and the human stories behind political issues.  Alongside her journalism, Radice has spent more than two decades working in communications and campaigning roles for organisations focused on refugee rights, women’s rights and humanitarian issues. She has worked on campaigns involving immigration detention, wrongful convictions and violence against women, and has collaborated with NGOs both in the UK and internationally, including projects in Sierra Leone. She currently works with the United Nations Association UK as Head of Campaigns.  Radice is also an accomplished novelist. Her debut novel, The Henry Experiment, received critical praise for its sharp psychological insight and was later adapted into a BBC drama. Her writing is known for combining humour, emotional intelligence and social commentary, often examining the tensions between personal freedom, morality and modern society.  Key points of the interview: How she wrote her book about her year off from the point of view of her guides.How her adventure was incredible.........but ended up facing a 5 year prison sentence.The easy emotional bonds she forms with people.Reminiscing on some amazing memories.Dealing with peoples distress who are escaping bad situations elsewhere in the world, and being treated badly here.The questionable meetings she had in Goa, and how she was advised not to travel alone.How freeing it was travelling alone.How the wanderlust did not satisfy her.What she learned about herself.The place she visited that was the most challenging and why.Many profound moments.The court case and what she was arrested for.The court case outcomeGet the book here "The Year of Bad Maps" Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  7. May 20

    Surviving Breast Cancer; one woman's story of the loneliness no one talks about | S5 E10

    Send us Fan Mail On this week's How To Have Extraordinary Relationships, I talk to 'Victoria' about what happened when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She generously offered to come on the show for many reasons; one was to help other people who have cancer and also those around them but the other one is to talk about what many people fear; what do you do when you are told you have a major illness that will involve difficult decisions, surgery, chemo, pain etc and you are alone? She is talking to me anonymously so that she can feel free to talk about everything with deep honesty. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, her world shifted overnight. Without a partner or close support network around her, she faced the long road of treatment largely on her own, navigating hospital appointments, difficult decisions, and the emotional weight that comes with serious illness. Through surgery, treatment, and recovery, Victoria showed extraordinary courage. She learned to advocate for herself, to sit with uncertainty, and to find moments of light even in the hardest days. Her journey was not just about surviving illness, but about rediscovering her own strength and independence. However it is also about how do you cope when there is no one there for you? It led Victoria to ask herself some various and serious questions; why did she not feel able to ask for help? Why did people not step up for her? She came home, finally, after the end of reconstructive surgery, rounds of gruelling chemo, many night spent tried and alone - there was no party for her, no balloons, nothing (unlike many of the other patients she had met along the way) This led her to take a long, hard, uncomfortable look at herself..... Today, Victoria’s story is one of perseverance and quiet bravery, offering hope to others who may feel alone in their own battles. But it is also a story of how we need people and find the courage to be vulnerable so that people CAN help us Key points of the episode: How the fact that she was alone (but with a full life) and how that became a key part of the story. How deep down she did want to meet someone, but it was not her priority. How she did not think in any way she was a candidate to getting cancer. How she was getting shooting pains in her breast which was not a typical symptom of cancer. The unpleasant tests, and the shock of the diagnosis. How the mammogram originally came up clear. The very invasive operation she had..... Why the word cancer was understandably emotive for her. How she handled most of it alone How she has learned that the path is not linear. How she processed her emotions. How she could not plan (which is out of character) as the treatment path is not linear. The financial difficulties she experienced. The ongoing treatment she needed How brilliant the medical team was- physically, but mental healthcare is needed. How she felt about future physical intimacy. Her life now, and what she is about. Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

  8. May 13

    Exploring Moral Ambiguity and Complex Emotions with Melissa Jones| S5 E9

    Send us Fan Mail Melissa Jones is a British novelist, journalist and non-fiction writer known for her intelligent, psychologically rich storytelling. Born in London and educated at Oxford, she began her career in television and journalism before turning to fiction.  Her novels often explore complex emotional landscapes and moral ambiguity, with notable works including Cold in Earth, Sick at Heart, and The Hidden Heart of Emily Hudson.  Jones has built a reputation for elegant prose and dark, compelling narratives that linger like a half-remembered dream… the kind that taps you on the shoulder at 3am and says, “We’re not done yet.” About Her New Book: Gone For A Soldier Published in 2026, Gone For A Soldier is a gripping psychological mystery that dives headfirst into the slippery nature of truth and trust.  The story follows Maddie, a former writer turned teacher, who claims she has killed a man… except there’s no body, no record of the victim, and possibly no truth in anything she’s been told. As reality begins to wobble like a dodgy pub table, the novel explores deception, identity, and how easily we can hand our sanity over to the wrong person.  Dark, unsettling, and quietly explosive, it’s less “whodunnit” and more “what on earth is going on here?” — a psychological maze where every answer raises a more troubling question. Key points of the episode: An elevator speech for her own book.How close it is to her autobiography!A discourse on the writing style and how hard is it to create.Female intuition and how it starts early.How long the book took and why.How the novel covers dangerous relationships and the patterns behind them.A highly original take on a launchThe unexpected joy of teaching.How writing is in the family.How you can get the book.Get in touch:  Support the show Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more? You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody"..... On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Well we have all wondered about it haven't we?And "Relationship" is a big word. Because if you think about it, we all have a relationship with everything don't we?Join us for fun facts, deep dives and every conceivable mind broadening angle of relationships.Reach out to Lucy on www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com

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