Death on the Daily

Tanya Wilkinson

Let's bring the conversation about death out of the shadows and into the mainstream, where it belongs. Podcast hosted by bereaved mother, coach and death doula, Tanya Wilkinson

  1. 1d ago

    Father's Day grief survival guide: Permission to do it your way

    Does Father's Day fill you with grief and dread? You're not alone, for many grievers this day is so hard. This episode is your Father's Day grief survival guide. Whether your dad, stepdad, or any other father figure in your life has died, whether your relationship with your dad is complicated or estranged, whether you've lost a child or been through any stage of baby loss, or whether you simply long for the family life you imagined - all of you and your grief is welcome here. In this episode, I (Tanya Wilkinson, an AC certified grief and life transitions coach and bereaved mother) will walk you through: → Why grief intensifies on mass celebration days like Father's Day and Mother’s Day.  → The secondary losses we rarely talk about when we lose a father figure.  → How to approach Father's Day on your own terms — from honouring your person in your way, to setting boundaries of sacred no's, to giving yourself full permission to opt out.  → The permission slip practice: a journalling exercise to help you move from intention to action There is no one-size-fits-all in grief. This episode will help you understand what Father's Day can look like when it honours you — in all your uniqueness. If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you're new here, hit subscribe - new episodes every week on grief, life transitions, and finding your forwards path. Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com

    12 min
  2. 5d ago

    When grief arrives too early with Luke Alfano (Too Young To Grieve)

    What happens when grief arrives outside the natural order of life? In this deeply personal crossover episode, me and Death on the Daily meets Luke Alfano’s Too Young to Grieve to explore one of grief's most isolating dimensions - when someone dies decades too soon. Luke lost his dad at 21, I lost my daughter Ngākau Raiona at 21 weeks of pregnancy. Two completely different losses, but so many of the same experiences: the loneliness, the disorientation, the friends who showed up at the funeral and vanished after, and the milestones - weddings, first homes, future children - where we will feel their absence.  In this episode we explore: Why grief that breaks the "expected timeline" of life is so uniquely isolatingThe lost future: milestones, mentors and the imagined life that was takenWhy people lean away from grief — and the fear of mortality that drives itWhat grievers actually need to hear (hint: say their name)How grief within families looks different for everyone under the same roofThe role of culture, ritual and community in normalising griefDeath cafes, grief circles and why talking about death helps us live betterThe unexpected gifts that grief can bring — and how to hold them without toxic positivityA note to their younger selves: there is still a life for you Whether you're grieving someone who left too soon, supporting a friend who is, or simply want to understand grief better - this conversation is for you. Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk About Luke Alfano: Luke is the founder of Too Young To Grieve, a community supporting bereaved young adults through community meetings ups, workshops, events and peer support. After losing his dad to cancer at 21 and then Nonna at 25, Luke created the platform to help young people feel less alone in grief and open up conversations around loss. You can connect with Luke Alfano here: https://www.instagram.com/lukealfano11/https://www.instagram.com/tooyoungtogrieve/Plus find Luke’s podcast Too Young To Grieve wherever you get your pods.   The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 00:00: Understanding Grief Outside the Natural Order 02:58: The Isolation of Early Grief 06:08: Navigating Support and Community in Grief 08:53: The Impact of Milestones on Grief 12:11: Acknowledging Absences in Life's Milestones 14:48: The Fear of Death and Its Effects on Relationships 17:56: Finding Wisdom and Growth Through Grief 20:50: The Gifts and Lessons from Grief 32:52: The Transformative Power of Grief 35:21: Shifting Family Dynamics Through Grief 41:23: Navigating Different Grieving Styles 44:46: Cultural Perspectives on Grief 52:42: Creating New Rituals in Grief 55:18: Embracing Conversations About Death 01:01:01: Messages of Hope and Moving Forward

    1h 6m
  3. May 13

    Elderhood and the sacred act of aging: turning your wounds into wisdom with Donna Lancaster

    What if aging isn't something to resist — but one of the most sacred initiations of being human? In this deeply moving conversation, I (Tanya Wilkinson) am joined by author, elder in training, life transitions coach, mentor and facilitator, Donna Lancaster, to explore what it truly means to become an elder, and why our culture's obsession with anti-aging is costing us. Donna shares how elderhood isn't simply a matter of getting older. It's the conscious, courageous process of transforming our wounds into wisdom — of extracting the medicine from our hardest human experiences so we can offer it in service to those who come after us. Together, we explore: What it means to be an elder and transforming wounds into wisdomThe difference between becoming an elder and simply becoming elderlyWhy aging is a spiritual practice — and a grief processThe cultural devaluation of elders and the importance of communityWhat we lose as a society when we sideline our eldersAging as a spiritual practice and death as a portal of awakeningHow to move through life — clumsily, imperfectly, and with Bambi-legged courageThe role of ancestral wisdom in guiding us through life's thresholds This is one of the most inspiring conversations on Death on the Daily to date. If you've ever feared aging — or wanted to find the beauty in it — this episode is for you. Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief & Life Transitions Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk You can connect with Donna Lancaster here: Website: https://www.donnalancaster.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/donnalancs/Donna’s books The Bridge and Wise Words for Women are out now The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters 00:00: The Quest for Eternal Youth 02:51: Understanding Elderhood 05:42: The Journey to Becoming an Elder 08:38: Cultural Perspectives on Aging 11:30: The Wisdom of Aging 14:11: The Role of Elders in Society 17:06: The Loss of Guidance and Support 20:03: Embracing the Newness of Aging 23:07: Death as a Portal to Awakening 28:10: Understanding Spiritual Death 30:30: Living with Death Awareness 33:21: Ancestral Wisdom and Guidance 38:04: Honoring Our Ancestors 41:48: Embracing Imperfection 44:40: Bambi-Legged Courage

    54 min
  4. May 1

    Anger & shame in grief — they are friends, and not enemies with Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell

    What if the feelings you've been working hardest to avoid in grief — anger, shame, fear — aren't the villains you think they are? In this deeply nourishing conversation, I'm joined by Dr Chloe Paidoussis Mitchell: Chartered Counselling Psychologist, author, and someone who has navigated profound personal loss herself. Chloe brings a message that I believe every griever needs to hear — that our most difficult emotions aren't signs that something is wrong with us. They are sacred signals, pointing us toward what we love, what we've lost, and who we're becoming. We talk about grief as a multilayered, lifelong teacher. About what it means to exist in two worlds at once — functioning on the surface, while something deeper is quietly being reconstructed. And about the simple, body-based practices that can help us stop running from our feelings and start listening to them instead. In this episode, we explore: Why calming the body must come before processing the mind in acute griefThe neuroscience of co-regulation — and why even 20 seconds of a hug changes your physiologyHow to be with someone who is grieving (hint: it rarely requires words)Making friends with anger: giving yourself permission to feel the rage, safelyWhy shame and anger so often live together in grief — and how to move through bothJournalling, dancing, stomping, screaming: embodied ways to express difficult grief emotionsThe 30-second heart-breathing practice you can do right now, even if you're busyWhat it means to "walk in two worlds" as a griever Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal GUIDED "FIND YOUR SAFE PLACE" MEDITATION: https://youtu.be/RO1G2oAOIEU   Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief Coach and connect with me here: www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk You can connect with Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell and her work here: Website: www.dr-chloe.comInstagram: instagram.com/dr.chloe.paidoussis.mitchell/Chloe's book The Loss Prescription: A Practical Roadmap to Grief Recovery is out now The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters 00:00: Introduction: Emotions as Signposts in Grief 01:59: Personal Stories of Loss and Resilience 04:42: The Messy Reality of Human Existence and Loss 07:07: Making Friends with Loss and Grief 09:34: First Steps to Being Present with Big Feelings 11:31: The Power of Presence and Support in Grief 15:03: Self-Compassion and Self-Touch Practices 19:28: Nature as a Source of Resilience and Grounding 23:08: Curating a Life of Beauty and Connection 25:42: Making Friends with Difficult Feelings 29:13: Healthy Ways to Express and Move Through Anger 35:18: Supporting Busy Lives to Connect with Grief 37:04: Simple Practices to Access, Soothe and Acknowledge Grief 38:16: Resources and Connecting with Dr. Chloe 39:08: Closing Remarks and Gratitude

    40 min
  5. Apr 22

    My stillbirth story: grief didn't break me, it rearranged me

    There are things in life we tell ourselves we simply wouldn't survive. For me (Tanya Wilkinson), that deepest fear was my child dying before me. Today I share the story of my daughter, Ngākau Raiona, whose name means lioness heart in her and her Daddy’s Māori language, who was stillborn at 21 weeks following TFMR after a devastating diagnosis at the 20-week anatomy scan. I shares the moment the floor fell away. The phone call in the car where I told my friend "I will not get through this alive" — and the words that changed everything. The promise I whispered to my daughter as I felt her kicking. And what those four painful and extraordinary weeks — from diagnosis to woodland burial — taught me about presence, grief, and what it means to truly be alive. This is not a story about getting over it. It's a story about moving forwards with grief — and what happens when you choose presence over avoidance, even when presence is the hardest thing in the world. In this episode, I share:  My life before loss — from grief-avoidant corporate leader to Global Head of Marketing at Formula 1How an earlier miscarriage became the catalyst for leaving F1 and retraining as a coachMy grandad's death and what sitting with dementia taught me about holding painThe 20-week anatomy scan, the diagnosis of encephalocele, and the decision that followedThe phone call my friend — and her words that made survival feel possibleA mama's promise that I made to Ngākau RaionaWhy grief didn't break me — it rearranged meThe grief–joy paradox: how feeling the depths allows you to feel the heightsWhat my three grandparents and  daughter have taught me about living in alignment and with purposeThree grounding practices for anyone navigating grief right now Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Are you journeying with grief? Download my FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual event - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon Resources mentioned: 🎙️ Part One of our full TFMR and stillbirth story: https://youtu.be/X0WNe9hg80U 🎙️ Part Two of our story returning home and honouring her: https://youtu.be/PvoDilhvg1Q 📖 I mention the wonderful book Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief Coach here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 00:00: Navigating Grief: A Personal Journey 02:45: The Impact of Loss on Life Choices 05:36: The Promise of Presence in Grief 08:55: Facing the Unthinkable: A Diagnosis 11:45: Finding Strength in Shared Stories 14:37: Lessons from Grief: Embracing Presence 18:03: Transformative Power of Grief 20:48: Practical Steps to Embrace Grief 23:28: Reframing Grief: A Path to Healing

    29 min
  6. Apr 2

    Grief as a doorway to legacy: how Manon Dave keeps her name alive

    What does it mean to leave a legacy for a life that was so tragically short? In this deeply moving episode of Death on the Daily I chat with Manon Dave — BBC's Head of Future World Design, Creative Director, Musician, and bereaved father — to explore how grief can become a doorway to purpose, impact, and enduring love. Manon and his wife Trusha lost their beautiful daughter, Maya Saanvi Dave. In the years since, they have channelled their grief into something extraordinary: the Maya Dave Scholarship Fund — a growing global initiative supporting young women in pursuing careers in music. We explore what legacy truly means — as something that can live on beyond our time on this earth, even through even the shortest lives. We also discuss how grief shapes our identity, creativity, and purpose, and why building something in Maya's name has become both a healing act and a powerful mission. Topics covered include: The story of Maya Saanvi Dave — her brief but profound life, and the lasting mark she left on her familyHow the Maya Dave Scholarship for Women in Music came to lifeWhat grief actually feels like day to day — and why Manon describes it as something that "travels with you" rather than something to be fixed or curedThe concept of the "tattoo of grief" — often times hidden to the world, but worn over the heart alwaysHow surviving a near-fatal car accident at 18 shaped Manon's philosophy around life, legacy, and squeezing every last drop from each dayThe power of imagination as a core human skill — and why Manon believes play should never be reserved just for hobbiesWhy grief can be a profound creative catalyst, and the importance of jotting down those seeds of ideas even in the deepest weeds of loss Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  @deathonthedaily  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk You can connect with Manon Dave here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/manondave/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/manondave/ The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters 00:00 Navigating Grief and Acceptance 01:39 Creating a Legacy Through Love 05:26 The Maya Dave Scholarship: Empowering Women in Music 10:10 Building a Global Network of Creatives 16:20 Lessons from Grief: Understanding Resilience 22:36 The Fragility of Life and Living Fully 29:54 Imagination as a Core Skill for the Future 36:26 Final Thoughts: Embracing Play and Creativity

    40 min
  7. Mar 27

    Body Scan Meditation: Gratitude for Your Grieving Body

    This guided body scan meditation for grief gently moves through your whole body with awareness, relaxation and deep gratitude — honouring the body that carries you through loss and through life.  Perfect for anyone navigating bereavement, life transitions, or the emotional weight of grief. Suitable for all levels — lie down or sit, take what feels right.  In this somatic grief meditation you'll experience:  A 15 minute full body scan with gentle relaxation and release Gratitude for each part of your body and all it holds A personal anchor of safety and calm within Affirmations for self-compassion, grace, and healing If this meditation supports you, please like, subscribe, or share it with someone who might need it too.  Disclaimer:  This content is for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. This practice invites gentle awareness of your body. Before you begin, check in with yourself and see whether it feels right for you to do this meditation today. You know yourself best - trust what feels right for you. This meditation is not a substitute for professional mental health care.  Are you journeying with grief? Download my FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual event - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon Follow & Support Death on the Daily: Do Like & Subscribe to this channel - and leave a rating and reviewShare this meditation with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/ Buy me a coffee and support the production of this free podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/tanyawilkinson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/death_onthedaily  Find out about my work including as a grief coach: www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedaily This meditation is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters: 0:00: Introduction & Setting Your Intention  0:59: Guided Body Scan & Gratitude Meditation  14:00: Gentle Return

    15 min
  8. Mar 20

    Losing my dad at 2 and stepdad at 18: grief taught me to use my pain

    What happens when grief finds you young — before you even have words for it? Jamie Gamache lost his dad to a sudden heart attack at just two years old. Then at 18, his stepdad Keith died in a sudden accident. Jamie joins me (Tanya Wilkinson) today, to share how childhood grief quietly shaped his identity, his creativity, and his drive — and why he believes there are two types of pain: “pain that uses you, and pain that you use.” We cover: Growing up without a father & grieving what you never hadWhy talking about the dead — even joking about them — matters more than we thinkMen, grief & why we share facts instead of feelingsThe film Kindling — and why we need stories that show men being vulnerableWhy Jamie still can't talk about his mum getting older (and why that's okay)Counselling, friendship & how to start the conversationQuote of the episode: "There's pain that uses you. And there's pain that you use." Are you journeying with grief? JOIN GRIEF COCOON, my new monthly virtual support session - a sacred space for grief in busy lives: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-cocoon  DOWNLOAD MY FREE Grief, Grace & Growth journaling ebook: https://tanyawilkinson.co.uk/grief-grace-growth-journal Disclaimer:  This podcast is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Nor is it a substitute for professional support.  Follow Death on the Daily: Do Like, Comment & Subscribe to this channel  Share this episode with a friend who might need it. Subscribe to my Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/deathonthedaily/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tanyawilkinson_ YouTube: http://youtube.com/@deathonthedailyFind out about my work as a Grief Coach and connect with me here: https://www.tanyawilkinson.co.uk You can connect with Jamie Gamache and his work here: Kindling: rent on Amazon or Sky Lowkey Films: www.lowkeyfilms.co.uk Jamie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamie-gamache-85470290/  Mental health support resources:  www.mind.org.uk Speak to your GP about local NHS Talking Therapies that are available The theme music for Death on the Daily is ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Set Free by Katie Gray⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, which is used with artist's permission.  You can connect with Katie and her music and work here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.katiegray.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.  This podcast is edited by David Strutt, who you can contact here for any editing needs: davidstrutt2@gmail.com Chapters 00:00: Introduction  02:13: Growing Up with Loss: The Death of Jamie’s Father 03:38: The Sudden Loss of Keith and Its Impact 09:09: Grief as a Catalyst for Independence and Growth 14:44: The Role of Presence and Memory in Healing 18:20: Normalizing Conversations About Death and Grief 21:30: The Power of Storytelling and Shared Humanity 25:01: Challenges in Talking About Death with Family 27:39: Men, Emotions, and Breaking the Silence 33:27: Advice for Grieving Individuals and Support Systems 37:03: The Role of Counselling and Community Support 41:50: Building Deeper Connections Through Vulnerability 46:45: Transforming Pain into Resilience and Growth 48:03: Resources and Final Thoughts

    54 min

About

Let's bring the conversation about death out of the shadows and into the mainstream, where it belongs. Podcast hosted by bereaved mother, coach and death doula, Tanya Wilkinson

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