Pushing Back With Hails

Hails Saunders
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  • Self-Improvement

Welcome to “Pushing Back with Hails,” where we challenge societal norms, explore personal growth, and dive into relationship dynamics. Join your host, Hails, and co-host Ice, as they share real talk, real stories, and practical tips for breaking barriers and embracing self mastery. Each episode covers sensitive topics, self improvement secrets, and advice on effective communication and deeper connections. Tune in to embark on a transformative journey and live with purpose and fulfilment.

  1. Jun 7

    When You’re Growing and They’re Not

    In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we sit with a heavier truth: what happens when growth is no longer mutual? After talking about repair, rupture, and staying when both people are willing, this kōrero gently explores the other side when you are the one reflecting, regulating, apologising, softening, learning and trying… but the pattern stays the same. This episode is not anti-relationship. It is not reactive. It is not about one bad argument. It is about recognising when effort has become one-sided. Hails unpacks why leaving is not failure, why your body often knows before your mind does, and why potential without participation can keep you stuck in hope instead of safety. In this episode, we explore: * what one-sided growth can feel like * why your nervous system may feel tense, guarded or exhausted * the difference between patience and self-abandonment * why love alone cannot carry a relationship * how to recognise patterns without rushing your process This is a gentle, honest episode for anyone who has stayed longer than their body wanted to, not because they didn’t know but because they were still hoping. Take what lands. Leave what doesn’t. And as always, move gently with yourself. Follow Pushing Back with Hails for more grounded kōrero on relationships, healing, motherhood, nervous system awareness and emotional growth. And if this episode sits close to your heart, share it with someone who may need to hear: leaving is not always a reaction. Sometimes it is recognition.

    11 min

  2. May 16

    Choosing to Stay | When Both People Are Willing to Grow

    Kia ora e te whānau 🫶🏼 In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we’re talking about something deeper than just love… We’re talking about what it means to consciously choose to stay. Not from fear. Not from attachment. Not from scarcity. But because both people are genuinely willing to grow. This episode explores the difference between staying in survival mode vs staying in a relationship where healing is collaborative. We unpack: – Fear-based staying vs growth-based staying – What willingness actually looks like in relationships – Why repair matters more than perfection – The difference between willingness and skill – How healthy conflict becomes curiosity instead of escalation – Why language matters during emotional repair – What collaborative healing actually feels like in the body This episode is for the couples doing the uncomfortable work. The ones learning how to communicate differently than what they were taught. The ones trying again. Because growth-oriented relationships are not built through perfection… they’re built through willingness. If this episode resonated with you, please share it to your story and tag me so more people can find these conversations.

    11 min

  3. May 9

    The Exhaustion of Being the Emotionally Mature One

    In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we’re talking about the quiet exhaustion that comes from always being the one who repairs. The one who reflects first. The one who regulates first. The one who softens first. The one trying to communicate better while secretly wondering why it feels like you’re carrying the emotional weight alone. This conversation explores: • the difference between dysregulation and emotional immaturity • what real repair actually looks like • over-functioning in relationships • defensiveness, avoidance, and accountability • why boundaries feel hard for abandonment wounds • the loneliness that comes from one-sided emotional labor • discernment, capacity, and willingness This episode is not about blame. It’s about clarity. Because repair is more than apologies. And you cannot do enough emotional work for two people. If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that mutual effort matters 🫶🏼

    11 min

  4. Apr 18

    How to Stay Regulated When Your Partner Isn’t

    This episode is for the moments when your partner is escalated… and you feel your body wanting to follow. When their tone rises. When they shut down. When they get defensive, withdraw, or react from their wounds. Because nervous systems don’t just react… they sync. In this episode, we talk about how to stay regulated when your partner isn’t not by suppressing yourself, avoiding, or being passive… but by becoming the anchor. We go into: – Why escalation spreads between people – How to regulate your body before you respond – The difference between calm and self-abandonment – How to set boundaries without matching energy – When to pause vs when to engage – Why regulation is contagious (and powerful) This isn’t about being the “bigger person.” It’s about emotional leadership. Because you don’t have to follow someone else into survival. You can stay grounded… and change the entire dynamic.

    12 min

  5. Apr 11

    After The Trigger — How To Repair & Rebuild Trust

    This episode is for the moment after. Not the trigger. Not the theory. Not perfect regulation. The moment after you’ve already reacted. After the sharp tone. After the silence. After the shutdown. After the words you didn’t mean. Because relationships don’t break from rupture… they break from a lack of repair. In this episode, I talk about what it actually looks like to come back after conflict. We cover: – why conflict itself isn’t the problem – what happens in the nervous system after a blow up – why you can’t repair while still activated – what real repair sounds like (and what it doesn’t) – the difference between ownership and defensiveness – how to rebuild safety and connection after tension This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about returning. Because repair is what builds trust. Repair is what builds safety. Repair is what builds secure connection. If you’ve ever walked away from a moment thinking: “I wish I handled that differently…” This episode is for you. Take a breath… and come back to this one slowly.

    14 min

  6. Apr 4

    What To Do When You’re Triggered (Real-Time Regulation)

    If you’ve been listening to the last two episodes, you already understand why you react the way you do. But this episode is different. This one is practical. Because awareness is powerful… but awareness without tools can feel frustrating. It’s one thing to recognise when you’re triggered. It’s another thing to know what to do in the moment. In this episode, we slow it down and walk through how to regulate while it’s actually happening. Not after. Not in hindsight. Not replaying it later. In the moment. We talk about: – how to recognise activation in your body – why your breath is your fastest tool – how to interrupt escalation – what to say when you feel triggered – how to pause without avoiding – and how to repair when things don’t go perfectly This isn’t about being calm all the time. This is about building the capacity to stay present… even in discomfort. If you’ve ever thought: “I know I’m triggered, but I don’t know what to do” This episode is for you. Take a breath before you press play.

    12 min

  7. Mar 28

    Why You React the Way You Do — The Layer Beneath (Part 2)

    If you listened to Part 1… this is the layer underneath it. This isn’t about fixing yourself. This is about understanding what’s actually happening inside of you when you feel triggered. In this episode, I slow things down and take you deeper into the moments where your body reacts before your mind catches up. We talk about: – Why small moments can feel big – How your nervous system holds onto past experiences – What your triggers are really trying to show you – The protector parts that step in to keep you safe – And how to create space between reaction and response This is not about shame. This is about awareness. Because most of the time, you’re not reacting to what’s happening now…you’re reacting to what it reminds you of. If you’ve ever thought: “Why did I react like that?” “This feels bigger than it should be” “I don’t understand why I shut down / overthink / people please” This episode is for you. Take this one slowly. There’s no rush here. Kia ora for sitting with me in this space

    12 min

  8. Mar 19

    Why You React the Way You Do (It’s Not What You Think)

    Why do small things feel so big sometimes? In this episode, I’m talking about why we react the way we do not from a place of blame, and not from a “fix yourself” mindset… but from a place of understanding. Because most of the time, you’re not reacting from who you are now… you’re reacting from what you’ve been through. I break down how your nervous system works, why your body responds the way it does, and the four core survival responses: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. You might recognise yourself in: – shutting down in conflict – overthinking or avoiding – reacting quickly or feeling overwhelmed – people pleasing or keeping the peace This isn’t about labelling yourself. It’s about understanding what’s underneath your reactions, so you can start to respond differently. You’re not too much. You’re not broken. Your body learned how to survive…and now you’re learning how to feel safe.

    11 min
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About

Welcome to “Pushing Back with Hails,” where we challenge societal norms, explore personal growth, and dive into relationship dynamics. Join your host, Hails, and co-host Ice, as they share real talk, real stories, and practical tips for breaking barriers and embracing self mastery. Each episode covers sensitive topics, self improvement secrets, and advice on effective communication and deeper connections. Tune in to embark on a transformative journey and live with purpose and fulfilment.

Information

  • Creator
    Hails Saunders
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Hails Saunders
  • Show Website
    Pushing Back With Hails