What happens when the place you ran to for safety becomes the source of your greatest harm? In Episode 32 of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali is joined by Chioma Alade, UK clergy, cult and sexual abuse specialist, and founder of By Fourteen. Chioma grew up in an abusive home and found what she believed was safety in the church, only to be groomed and sexually abused by her Sunday school teacher for over a decade. She didn't recognise it as abuse until she was 30. In this powerful conversation, Chioma opens up about the culture of shame that kept her silent, the grooming tactics predators use within faith communities, what radical acceptance really feels like, and the long road to healing, including the medical consequences of abuse that nobody talks about. She also shares how her late diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome added another layer of complexity to her journey, and why she founded By Fourteen: to help every child identify a predator before the age of 14. This episode is for anyone who has ever been silenced by shame, let down by an institution they trusted, or told that what happened to them was their fault. The shame was never yours to carry. Topics covered: church sexual abuse, grooming, coercive control, cult abuse, shame and religion, faith communities and safeguarding, Ehlers Danlos syndrome, invisible disability, healing from trauma, predator awareness, By Fourteen, Black British women, Nigerian culture and shame 📲 Connect with Chioma: Instagram @ChiomaAlade and @ByFourteenOrg. If you have been affected by this story, you can seek support at charities such as Rape Crisis, Hersana, Secrets Worth Sharing, or Surviving Universal UK. 02:44 Chapter One: Potential 03:50 Childhood Abuse And Church 06:33 Realising It Was Abuse 07:53 Fury And Dismantling A Cult 09:13 Radical Acceptance And Recovery 10:39 Medical Impact And Regulation 13:01 Speaking Out And Training 15:43 Culture Of Shame In Faith 17:38 Advice To Survivors 19:03 Ehlers Danlos Diagnosis 20:41 By Fourteen And Disability Advocacy 22:43 Healing Takeaways And Resources 24:44 NHS Pathways For Survivors 26:46 Remarkable Women Inspirations 29:06 Closing And Where To Connect GET IN TOUCH Join the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.
