How To Relate

Brittani Procknow

Many people try to answer what makes relationships work. This podcast aims to answer how do we work relationships? I’m Brittani Procknow, a relationship therapist working with individuals and couples to deepen intimacy and live relationally. I’m taking insights from behind closed doors to you, a listener seeking to improve your relational wellbeing. I’m talking to people about everyday concepts including mental health, work, dating, families, friendships, and hobbies to give insights and actions towards living relationally. I’m grateful to have you here. Let’s dive in.

  1. 2d ago

    It’s Not About the Money: Shame, Fear & Your Money Story with Nathan Astle

    Welcome to How to Relate! This episode is all about money with financial therapist Nathan Astle. Nathan Astle is based in Kansas City, with a background in couples and family therapy. He founded the Financial Therapy Clinical Institute, where financial therapists, counselors, and planners work together in a collaborative care model. Nathan has been featured in numerous outlets like The New York Times, Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, CNBC, USA Today, TD Ameritrade, Money Geek, and more. In this episode, we talk about: Why money is more like a language than a number, and how it shapes identity Fear and shame, the two biggest emotions people bring to money The money timeline exercise for uncovering your money story Why couples fighting about money are often fighting about different things (freedom vs. safety) Intergenerational money trauma, from Depression-era scarcity to Boomer collections to Millennial minimalism Why money conflict doesn’t cause divorce, and what actually does “Who’s at the controls?” and keeping fear from driving your financial decisions Nathan's Website: financialtherapyclinicalinstitute.com  Resources: https://www.financialtherapyclinicalinstitute.com/resource-library  Brittani's Stuff Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219 Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc Sponsor: Larry’s Coffee — https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  2. Oct 1

    Should I Stay or Should I Go? with Katherine Cullen, LCSW

    Too good to stay, too bad to leave is a scenario many people find themselves in. When the relationship could be better, when do you know it's time to leave or love the one you're with? We're here to answer. Katherine Cullen, LCSW, is a therapist in Nashville, Tennessee. Katherine co-authored The Truth About Exercise Addiction, and was an editor at Psychology Today before she became a therapist. Check out her Instagram for comedy, therapy, and relatable entertainment.  In this episode: - "Avoidance culture" in dating, and how getting fixated on the ick can protect us from intimacy - Mimetic desire: where our icks come from in the first place - Going back to your senses (an idea from inference-based CBT) to tell whether you're in the right relationship - Red flags that look pink, and spotting patterns over 6–12 months - Gottman's "dream within conflict," with the dishwasher fight as the example - The doughnut hole exercise for sorting out what you can and can't compromise on - How to find your relational needs - The Four Horsemen and their antidotes, plus making the scripts sound like you Books mentioned: Fight Right by John and Julie Gottman, Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Lundy Bancroft, and Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum Find Katherine: IG: https://www.instagram.com/kcullentherapy/  Website: https://integrateself.com  Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow  Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219  Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc  Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  3. Aug 28

    Remarry Your Spouse Over and Over Again: The Remarriage Roadmap with Galit and Assael Romanelli

    What if the question isn't whether your marriage will end, but when — and whether you'll remarry the same person? On this episode of How to Relate, Galit and Assael Romanelli — couple therapists, real-life partners, and the minds behind the Remarriage Roadmap — discuss how long-term relationships actually survive change. In this episode: The "ABCs" that signal a marriage is heading for a rupture: thirds/affairs, boredom, and change What a "third" really is — anything pulling your attention, libido, or energy outside the relationship (a career, a PhD, the kids, a phone, even a "work spouse") The 95/70 dynamic: the unconscious hierarchy every couple shakes hands on early, and how to soften it into equality The four muscles of the Remarriage Roadmap — Play ("yes, and"), Let It Land ("tell me more"), Say the Thing ("part of me..."), and Own Your Shadow ("the truth is...") Why couples confuse being understood with being agreed with, and how differentiation changes that Practical tools you can use tonight: rating a disagreement 1–10 (no fives or sevens allowed), taking hard conversations on a walk, and using playfulness to defuse conflict Their book Feel Free Together and the 8-week Remarriage Roadmap program   Connect with Galit and Assael: Website: https://potentialstate.com/ Free toolkit: https://potentialstate.com/toolkit Instagram: @thepotentialstate Brittani's Resources Website: https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow Intimacy Workbook: https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219 Newsletter: https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc Therapist Threads: https://howtorelate.kit.com/069297fffb   Support the show and drink coffee! Proud to have Larry's Coffee as a show sponsor. Keep caffeinated with quality coffee. https://larryscoffee.com/relate

  4. Aug 14

    Patriarchy, Oppression & Insidious Trauma with Erica Smith

    Erica Smith returns to How to Relate for a light conversation (haha) on the patriarchy, insidious trauma, and what oppression does to our closest relationships. Why "the patriarchy" surged in cultural vocabulary post-2020, and how it intersects with racism and the need to re-center attention away from marginalized communities Defining the patriarchy: from a "wealthy white men" lens to Terry Real's framework on masculinity, invulnerability, and emotional suppression Boundaries vs. control — how boundary language gets weaponized to manage other people's behavior instead of one's own exposure "Insidious trauma" and death by a thousand paper cuts: the cumulative nervous-system toll of everyday dismissal, code-switching, and hypervigilance Family strategies for safety — advocating in medical settings, "the talk" before a breakup, staying alert in unfamiliar spaces Performative allyship vs. authentic accountability, and why announcing your values isn't the same as living them Affinity spaces: when they help, when they isolate, and why the burden of initiating hard conversations should shift toward the group causing harm Individual-level change as the starting point for structural change — noticing your own nervous system, choosing regulating relationships   Erica's Resources: Whole Mentality: https://www.wholementality.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsericakendra/   Website: ⁠https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow⁠ Intimacy Workbook: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219⁠ Newsletter: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc⁠ Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — ⁠https://larryscoffee.com/relate⁠

  5. Jul 30

    Enmeshment, Boundaries, and Untangling Family Dynamics with Mary Beth Somich

    Mary Beth Somich is the founder of Your Journey Through, a boutique group therapy practice in Raleigh (celebrating 10 years this fall) with nine clinicians specializing in family dynamics, enmeshment, and boundaries. She also mentors other practice owners through group coaching and masterminds. In this episode, we cover: Scaling from solo practice to group practice while pregnant during the 2020 pandemic How to validate a course or offer idea before building it (and why niching down matters) Cultural competence in therapeutic recommendations — meeting clients where their actual capacity is Defining enmeshment: the lack of boundaries within a family system, and how it often shows up as mother-child over-attachment when a partner is emotionally absent The role of the "nice guy complex" and people-pleasing in perpetuating enmeshment How to reengage an absent father-in-law/mother-in-law and repair intergenerational patterns What a boundary actually is (and isn't) — Mary Beth's take beyond internet oversimplifications Boomer vs. millennial communication gaps around illness, emotion, and "not wanting to be a burden" Parenting anxiety, perfectionism, and how to discern which parenting advice is actually for you Navigating multigenerational parenting influence (plus a shoutout to the "More Than Grand" grandparent resource) A first practical step if your family dynamics feel tumultuous Connect with Mary Beth: ⁠yourjourneythrough.com⁠ | IG ⁠@yourjourneythrough⁠ | ⁠hello@yourjourneythrough.com⁠ — check her Instagram bio for the Group Practice Mastermind and Therapist to CEO Playbook. Website: ⁠https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow⁠ Intimacy Workbook: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219⁠ Newsletter: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc⁠ Sponsor: Larry's Coffee — ⁠https://larryscoffee.com/relate⁠ Therapist Collective: Community for Entrepreneurial Therapists: https://therapistcollective.carrd.co/

  6. Jul 23

    Rescuing Everyone Else First: Trauma in the Fire Service and First Responders with Blaise Harris LCMHC

    Blaise Harris, LCMHC, is a therapist, former firefighter, and founder of G Squared Consulting & Counseling Services — known online as The Dope Black Therapist. His practice focuses on trauma work with Black men and first responders, drawing on his own experience surviving a divorce, major depressive disorder, and suicide attempts before finding his way into the field. In this episode, Brittani and Blaise cover: How Blaise's own mental health crisis (post-divorce depression, suicidal ideation, psychiatric hospitalization) led him to therapy — and to specializing in first responders and Black men Why first responders have protocols for every physical emergency but none for their mental health PTSD stats among first responders and why the real numbers are likely far higher than reported The stigma differences across police, fire, EMS, and dispatch Navigating racism and mistrust as a Black first responder, including a story of being called a slur on the job How to talk to a partner about a hard shift without needing to "fix" it — communicating needs instead of details Naming and setting an internal boundary with anxiety/depression ("acknowledge it, then tell it to shut up") His advice for first responders on choosing a therapist — "try them on like shoes" Find Blaise on Instagram ⁠@the_dopeblacktherapist⁠ or at ⁠thedopeblacktherapist.com⁠. Brittani's Resources Website: ⁠https://www.brittaniprocknow.com/⁠ IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/brittani_procknow⁠ Intimacy Workbook: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/b956780219⁠ Newsletter: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/e9f87bb2dc⁠ ☕ Support the show and drink coffee! Proud to have Larry's Coffee as a show sponsor. Keep caffeinated with quality coffee. ⁠https://larryscoffee.com/relate⁠ Therapist Threads: ⁠https://howtorelate.kit.com/069297fffb⁠

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

Many people try to answer what makes relationships work. This podcast aims to answer how do we work relationships? I’m Brittani Procknow, a relationship therapist working with individuals and couples to deepen intimacy and live relationally. I’m taking insights from behind closed doors to you, a listener seeking to improve your relational wellbeing. I’m talking to people about everyday concepts including mental health, work, dating, families, friendships, and hobbies to give insights and actions towards living relationally. I’m grateful to have you here. Let’s dive in.

You Might Also Like