Car Ride Conversations For Sports Families

Valerie Alston

The ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and youth sport athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time. Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building effective self-talk, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your youth sport athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way. Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch! Questions? Comments? Ideas? ✉️ Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me On: 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 ✨ For exclusive tips, tools, and updates, join my newsletter: 📬 https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

  1. 4d ago

    Cut, Benched or Not Recruited? How Athletes Handle What They Can’t Control

    You Can Own the Goal Without Owning the Outcome | Controlling the Controllables Valerie Alston explains that athletes can work hard and still miss desired outcomes like making varsity, earning scholarships, or getting recruited because sports involve other people, limited opportunities, circumstances, and luck. She reframes mental toughness as accurate thinking and forward movement when things don’t go as planned, emphasizing separating desired outcomes from controllable process goals. The episode breaks performance factors into three categories—what you control (effort, preparation, attitude, recovery, grades), what you influence (playing time, recruiting interest, team success), and what you must accept (roster needs, injuries, officiating, others’ talent, coaches’ decisions). Alston discusses attribution and realistic optimism, encourages allowing disappointment without rushing to fix it, and offers a three-question reset: what happened, what’s yours to learn, and what happens next, plus discussion prompts for sports families. 00:00 Effort Without Guarantees 01:43 Own Goal Not Outcome 05:53 Control Influence Accept 10:30 Rewrite The Story 12:46 Realistic Optimism Reroutes 18:44 Feel Disappointment Then Act 21:06 Three Question Reset 22:39 Family Discussion Prompts 27:02 Weekly Takeaways And Next Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. 🧠 FREE Mental Skills Assessment for Your AthleteDoes your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition? Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way. With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps. There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle. Assess. Discover. Build a game plan. 👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    Cut, Benched or Not Recruited? How Athletes Handle What They Can’t Control
  2. Sep 7

    Whose Dream Is This Anyway?

    Whose Dream Is It Anyway? Helping Young Athletes Own Their Goals Valerie Alston explores how parents and young athletes can identify who truly owns a sports goal by examining motivation, ownership, and family expectations. She explains how parents can unintentionally carry an athlete’s dream through constant reminders, planning, and recruiting pressure, and contrasts external pressure-driven motivation with internal, personally valued motivation that is more sustainable. The episode encourages parents to support rather than carry the dream, shift age-appropriate responsibility to athletes, and distinguish between temporary dips in motivation and genuine changes in priorities. Alston offers an “ownership check” family exercise and guided conversation questions about goals, willingness to do the work, transferring responsibilities, and how to safely talk if dreams change, concluding with a preview of next week’s topic on handling unmet opportunities despite hard work. 00:00 Whose Dream Is It 01:42 Series Recap Setup 03:00 Potential Versus Desire 04:56 Four Motivation Types 08:40 Stop Carrying The Goal 10:40 When Goals Change 13:31 Autonomy With Accountability 16:18 Define Success Together 18:03 Ownership Check Challenge 19:45 Family Conversation Questions 23:33 Key Takeaways Next Week 25:00 Free Assessment Outro Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. 🧠 FREE Mental Skills Assessment for Your AthleteDoes your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition? Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way. With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps. There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle. Assess. Discover. Build a game plan. 👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    Whose Dream Is This Anyway?
  3. Aug 31

    Social Media, Comparison & the Pressure to Look Like an Elite Athlete

    Social Media & Youth Sports: Comparison, Confidence, and Becoming Elite vs Looking Elite Host Valerie Alston explains how social media changes youth athletes’ comparison habits by encouraging them to measure their real, day-to-day experience against others’ highlight reels, which can hurt motivation and confidence. She reframes comparison as a tool for learning asking “What can I learn from that?” and challenges athletes to focus on becoming great rather than performing for likes and attention. The episode emphasizes building confidence from internal evidence of growth instead of external validation like rankings, playing time, offers, or post engagement. Alston also urges athletes to protect their attention with a “social media audit” (teach/inspire/entertain vs drain) and to track progress using a personal scorecard that includes mental, emotional, and teamwork markers. She closes with family discussion questions and previews next week’s topic: whose dream the goal really is. 00:00 Social Media Comparison Trap 01:24 Series Setup and Purpose 02:15 Highlight Reels vs Reality 04:28 Learn Instead of Judge 06:22 Looking Elite vs Becoming 08:42 Build Internal Confidence 11:24 Protect Your Attention 13:25 Social Media Feed Audit 16:28 Your Personal Scorecard 17:52 Weekly Challenge and Reset 19:12 Family Discussion Questions 22:54 Wrap Up and Next Week 24:08 Free Mental Skills Assessment Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. 🧠 FREE Mental Skills Assessment for Your AthleteDoes your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition? Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way. With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete a short survey, receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps. There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle. Assess. Discover. Build a game plan. 👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    Social Media, Comparison & the Pressure to Look Like an Elite Athlete
  4. Aug 24

    When Did Youth Sports Get So Serious? The Pressure to Be “Elite”

    Discussion questions: Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. 🧠 FREE Mental Skills Assessment for Your AthleteDoes your athlete perform great in practice but struggle with nerves, pressure, confidence, or bouncing back from mistakes during competition? Stop guessing about what might be getting in the way. With my FREE Mental Skills Assessment, your athlete will complete the Athletic Coping Skills Inventory (ACSI), receive a short personalized report, and join me with you for a FREE 15-minute Zoom call to discuss what we're seeing and identify practical next steps. There are no good or bad scores and no labels. We're simply discovering where your athlete is strong and where they may need to build their mental toughness muscle. Assess. Discover. Build a game plan. 👉 Get Your Athlete's FREE Mental Skills Assessment: https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/assessment For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    When Did Youth Sports Get So Serious? The Pressure to Be “Elite”
  5. Aug 17

    How to Take Feedback Without Losing Confidence

    How Athletes Can Take Tough Feedback Without Losing Confidence (Growth Mindset + Parent Tips) Valerie Alston discusses why fast-improving athletes learn to use coaching feedback without turning it into an identity statement, explaining that feedback can build confidence when viewed as information rather than a measure of worth. She introduces a growth mindset and attribution theory (internal vs. external, controllable vs. uncontrollable, stable vs. unstable) to help athletes interpret mistakes in ways that support learning, ownership, and future improvement, while noting some errors truly are out of one’s control. The episode encourages responding to feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, emphasizing that real confidence comes from competence and how athletes bounce back after tough moments. Parents are coached to normalize correction, show empathy, and ask reflective questions that help athletes process feedback productively, followed by four conversation prompts for families. 00:00 Feedback Builds Confidence 01:23 Why Athletes Resist Coaching 03:08 Growth Mindset Reframe 04:38 Attribution Theory Explained 07:47 Better Self Talk After Mistakes 10:47 Curiosity Over Defensiveness 12:22 Real Confidence Comes From Skill 14:18 Parents Guide The Process 15:42 Car Ride Discussion Questions 17:52 Final Takeaways And Next Steps Discussion questions: Think about the last piece of feedback you received from a coach. What was your first reaction? After thinking about it, was there something valuable you could learn from it?When something doesn't go well in your sport, what's the story you usually tell yourself? Is that explanation helping you grow, or is it holding you back?What's the difference between hearing "I made a mistake" and "I am a mistake"? Why do those two thoughts lead to very different levels of confidence?Parents: What's one way I can help you process tough feedback without immediately trying to fix the situation? Athletes: What kind of support helps you most after receiving difficult coaching? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How to Take Feedback Without Losing Confidence
  6. Aug 10

    How Young Athletes Can Stop Overthinking and Start Playing Freely

    Stop Chasing Perfection: Compete With Purpose, Trust Your Prep (Ricky Scruggs) | Car Ride Conversations Host Valerie Alston continues her conversation with Ricky Scruggs on why many talented athletes struggle in games: they focus on doing things perfectly and on looking like a good player instead of remembering the objective—winning by accomplishing the goal of the sport. Scruggs shares lessons from baseball and motor learning about goal-oriented performance, trusting preparation, and avoiding mechanical overthinking during competition, emphasizing that perfectionism undermines progress and that highlight culture and social media distort expectations. He encourages parents to avoid extremes of overprotection or harsh pressure and instead use sports as a character-building vehicle that also fuels peak performance through purpose, relationships, and resilience. The episode ends with family discussion questions about goals vs. appearance, in-game thoughts, lessons sport teaches beyond mechanics, and how parents can best support healthy development. 00:00 Why Athletes Choke 01:16 Rule Book Reality Check 03:40 Goal Focus Beats Mechanics 06:35 Perfectionism and Social Media 08:37 Parenting for Character 11:34 Ricky Resources and Book 13:36 Family Discussion Questions 17:13 Wrap Up and Next Steps http://www.centerfieldcoaching.com/ Thanks for joining me on Car Ride Conversations for Sports Families! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a youth sports coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How Young Athletes Can Stop Overthinking and Start Playing Freely
  7. Aug 3

    The Secret to Loving Competition Without Letting It Define You

    Compete WITH, Not Against: Ricky Scruggs on Identity, Confidence & Loving Your Opponent Host Valerie Alston welcomes mental skills coach and former baseball player Ricky Scruggs to discuss a healthier approach to competition, identity, and team culture for young athletes and parents. Scruggs shares his path from record-setting hitter to JUCO World Series, Division I at UNLV, and independent ball, then into car sales and ultimately running a baseball academy for nearly 20 years, where he blended biomechanics with a mental skills model. He emphasizes that athletes often tie identity to results, creating pressure, and encourages separating self-worth from performance. Scruggs reframes competition as “seeking together,” aiming to bring out each other’s best, and highlights belonging, mission-focused mindset, collective responsibility, and strong teammates who challenge one another. Valerie closes with family discussion questions on competing with vs against, giving vs getting, healthy internal competition, and valuing relationships over results. 00:00 Rethinking Competition 00:54 Meet Ricky Scruggs 01:34 Ricky’s Athlete Journey 03:04 From Car Sales to Academy 04:29 Identity Beyond Results 05:47 James Bond Mission Mindset 07:48 Belonging Over Scholarships 10:20 True Meaning of Compete 12:23 Love Your Opponent 14:02 Teammates Push Teammates 17:59 Car Ride Discussion Questions 21:00 Final Takeaway and Wrap http://www.centerfieldcoaching.com/ Discussion questions: 1. Competition with vs. againstRicky talked about competing with your opponent instead of against them. What do you think he meant by that? How might that change the way you approach games? 2. What are you trying to give?When you step onto the field or court, what do you hope to give your teammates today? Encouragement? Energy? Leadership? Effort? How is that different from focusing only on what you hope to get? 3. Strong teammates challenge each otherHave you ever had a teammate who pushed you to become better? What did they do that helped you grow? How can healthy competition make an entire team stronger? 4. Relationships or results?At the end of your sports career, what do you think you'll remember more—the wins and losses, or the people you shared them with? What can we do now to make sure we're building both great memories and great relationships? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    The Secret to Loving Competition Without Letting It Define You
  8. Jul 27

    How to Stay Confident and Composed at Tryouts

    Tryout Confidence: Show (Don’t Prove) Yourself + Reset Fast After Mistakes Valerie Alston discusses how athletes and parents can approach upcoming school sport tryouts with a healthier mindset by shifting from “I have to prove myself” to “I get to show myself.” Drawing on conversations with coaches at the North Carolina Coaches Association, she emphasizes focusing on controllables—effort, coachability, communication, body language, hustle, decision-making, and how athletes respond to mistakes—rather than outcomes like roster spots or other players’ talent. She explains that coaches build teams and value character and dependability, offers strategies to reset after errors (breathe, use a cue, refocus), and warns against unhealthy comparison. She recommends defining success with three process goals and using a before/during/after mental plan, plus guidance for parents to reduce pressure and ask curiosity-based questions. 00:00 Tryout Confidence Reset 00:59 Why Tryouts Feel Heavy 02:44 Show Yourself Not Prove 04:32 What Coaches Really Pick 06:52 Control Your Evidence 08:12 Reset After Mistakes 10:29 Comparison Without Spiral 14:02 Define Success Process Goals 15:48 Three Part Mental Plan 19:01 Parent Pressure Off 20:29 Car Ride Questions 23:03 Wrap Up Next Steps Discussion questions: What part of tryouts usually creates the most pressure for you, and what thoughts tend to show up?What are three things you can control that would help coaches see the best version of you?What will your reset look or sound like after a mistake?How will you define a successful tryout even before you know the final decision? Thanks for joining me on Confident, Calm, and Clutch Car Ride Conversations! If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe to the podcast so you never miss a moment. Share it with other parents or coaches who could use a little extra inspiration on the go. For exclusive tips, tools, and updates join my newsletter at www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter For more specific tips on building mental toughness, buy my book Confident, Calm and Clutch: How to build confidence and mental toughness for young athletes using sports psychology If you are a coach looking for ways to build mental toughness into your practices then check out my coaching resources (books, assessments, conversation starters, community and more) here. Parents join my Facebook group to Help Your Athlete Gain Mental Toughness for Parents Have an idea for a topic? Submit your idea here. Questions? Comments? Ideas? Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me on: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 Watch every episode of Car Ride Conversations here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOjguEFjF88w5Wl-eA9dlkwLk7f_sI12V

    How to Stay Confident and Composed at Tryouts
4.8
out of 5
13 Ratings

About

The ultimate podcast for parents, coaches, and youth sport athletes who want to unlock the secrets to mental toughness, confidence, and resilience. Whether you're on your way to practice, a big game, or just tackling the daily grind, these bite-sized episodes are designed to spark meaningful conversations to equip young athletes with actionable tools to thrive in school, sports and life while building strong relationships with their parents, one car ride at a time. Hosted by Valerie Alston, former D1 athlete, sport psychology expert, and resilience coach, each episode dives into key topics like building effective self-talk, staying calm under pressure, and bouncing back from setbacks. With real-life stories, practical tips, and relatable insights, you'll discover how to support your youth sport athlete's journey while strengthening your connection along the way. Buckle up and join us for a ride full of inspiration, growth, and the skills needed to become Confident, Calm, and Clutch! Questions? Comments? Ideas? ✉️ Email me: valerie.alston@valstoncoaching.com Follow Me On: 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valstoncoaching 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valstoncoaching ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@valstoncoaching9666 ✨ For exclusive tips, tools, and updates, join my newsletter: 📬 https://www.confidentcalmclutch.com/newsletter

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