The Stay in the room Podcast

Jonathan & Heidi Mills
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Daily

We're here for honest conversations. From marriage recovery to deconstruction, we tackle the messy & beautiful parts of life. Nothing’s off the table, and the only rule? We STAY in the room. Join us! stayintheroom.substack.com

  1. Your Partner Is A Mirror

    Feb 27

    Your Partner Is A Mirror

    In this episode, we unpack the idea that your partner can be a mirror—reflecting the places you still feel tender, triggered, or unintegrated—and how an intimate relationship can become a powerful path for growth. We share a real, recent moment of “intense fellowship” where old patterns surfaced, projections got named, and we had to choose devotion to each other’s souls (not each other’s egos). If you’ve ever felt afraid of conflict or unsure how to stay present through hard conversations, we hope this helps you feel less alone—and more equipped to stay in the room. Key Takeaways * What it means for your partner to be a “mirror” (and where nuance matters) * How unspoken needs create distance and trigger insecurity * The difference between devotion to someone’s ego and devotion to their soul * Why conflict can be necessary for intimacy and growth * Recognizing projection—and taking responsibility for your triggers * Love as a daily practice, not just a feeling * How staying present increases your relational capacity Related Episodes Episode 18: Foundations of Healthy Relationships with Leigh-Anne LoPinto Episode 1: How Has Porn Affected Your Life? Episode 8: Our Recovery Story Resources How to Be an Adult Conscious Loving Heidi’s Group for Women Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    46 min
  2. Foundations of Healthy Relationships

    Feb 20

    Foundations of Healthy Relationships

    In this episode, we kick off season two with a jam-packed interview with Leigh-Anne LoPinto. Leigh-Anne’s work is devoted to the new paradigm of relationships. For the past 15 years, she has worked with people 1:1 and in groups to support healing and growth through relationships as a psychologist, breathwork teacher, and relationship advisor. She clearly sees, knows, and lives this path, understanding the terrain and pure potential that it holds as the key to the evolution of humanity. We cover the foundational skills and tools that everyone needs for healthy and dynamic relationships, and why this is what we are all being called to at this time. If you’ve ever sensed there’s “more” available in your relationship but didn’t know where to start, this episode offers both vision and practical next steps. This is a profound way for us to start season 2, with such a powerful voice in the realm of relationships, and we can’t wait for you to listen! Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Conscious Loving (book recommendation) Lynne Forrest’s work on the Drama Triangle (victim–rescuer–persecutor) Leigh-Anne LoPinto’s “Start Here” page, free resources including: Secure attachment teaching + quick assessment Codependency teaching video (approx. 2.5 hours) Leigh-Anne’s YouTube Channel Want to Connect? Subscribe to our Substack for reflections, bonus content, and deeper insights: Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcastSend us your questions or feedback at stayintheroompodcast@gmail.com Final Thoughts:If you’ve been telling yourself “it’s fine,” but deep down you know you’re craving something truer—more connected, more honest, more alive—this episode is a beautiful place to begin. Relationships aren’t meant to be a performance or a power struggle. They can be a mirror, a teacher, and a path of healing. You don’t have to overhaul your whole life overnight—start with one small step, one honest reflection, one brave conversation. Thank you for staying in the room with us. We’d Love to Hear from You! What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments, send us an email, or DM us on Instagram—we love hearing from our listeners. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    56 min
  3. Write or Flight: Heidi's Memoir Adventure in Peru

    05/15/2025

    Write or Flight: Heidi's Memoir Adventure in Peru

    Episode SummaryIn this episode, Jonathan interviews Heidi about her upcoming adventure—competing on Write or Flight, the first-ever reality TV show for memoir writers. Heidi shares how she was selected to join nine writers from around the world in Cusco, Peru, where they’ll live together, go on adventures, and compete in memoir-writing challenges. More than a competition, this journey is about reclaiming joy, leaning into vulnerability, and stepping into a long-awaited adventure. Heidi opens up about overcoming imposter syndrome, the challenges of being on camera, and why this experience feels like a soul reclamation. Key Takeaways * What Write or Flight is and how Heidi got selected * Why memoir writing is so personal and powerful * The mindset shift from “winning” to embracing the journey * How saying “yes” to adventure is changing Heidi’s story * Letting go of validation and trusting your creative path Related Episodes * Episode 14: Faith and Dyslexia: Learning Differently, Living Fully * Episode 13: When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing Resources * Write or Flight Reality Show * The Memoir Engineering System: Make Your First Draft Your Final Draft by Wendy Dale * Avoiding Prison and Other Noble Vacation Goals: Adventures in Love and Danger by Wendy Dale * Heidi's Substack: @stayintheroom Connect with UsEmail: stayintheroompodcast@gmail.comInstagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast DisclaimerThis episode covers themes of vulnerability, creative risks, and personal transformation. Listener discretion advised. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    28 min
  4. Episode 14: Faith and Dyslexia

    05/01/2025

    Episode 14: Faith and Dyslexia

    Episode Summary:In this special family episode, we’re joined by our daughter Faith to talk candidly about her experience living—and thriving—with dyslexia. Faith shares what it was like to be diagnosed later in childhood, how it shaped her relationship with learning, and the emotional journey of navigating a world that often misunderstands invisible disabilities. With honesty, humor, and insight beyond her years, Faith opens up about her academic struggles, what helped her fall in love with reading and writing, and how dyslexia shaped her empathy, creativity, and determination. This is a conversation for anyone supporting a neurodivergent child, navigating learning differences themselves, or simply seeking to understand how the brain can work differently—and brilliantly. Key Takeaways * What it feels like to grow up with an undiagnosed learning disability * How getting identified with dyslexia brought relief, language, and direction * Why audio books (“ear reading”) and tech tools are game-changers * The emotional toll of feeling behind—and how to reframe that story * How self-advocacy, humor, and creativity helped Faith reclaim her voice * Why calling it a disability can be powerful, not shameful * The importance of validation and support in a world that rewards conformity Link Back to Previous Episodes:Episode 6: Demon Hunting: How Hyper-Vigilance Kept Us in Fear – Exploring fear-based systems and the pressure to perform Episode 13: When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing – Creating safety and healing after being misunderstood Resources & Mentions * The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan by Ben Foss * Speechify Connect with Us:Email us: stayintheroompodcast@gmail.comFollow on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcastShare your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes! Disclaimer:This episode includes open conversations about invisible disabilities, neurodivergence, and educational challenges. Listener discretion is advised for those navigating sensitive experiences with learning differences. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 11m

  5. 04/10/2025

    "When Church Hurts: Wolves, Wounds, and the Path to Healing"

    Episode Summary This episode goes deep. We’re joined by longtime friend, pastor, and adoption advocate Randy Bohlender for a raw and timely conversation about spiritual abuse, leadership failures, and how to keep your faith intact after being wounded by the church. Randy brings both pastoral wisdom and personal reflection to the table as we talk about the difference between flawed leaders and dangerous ones—what it means to identify “wolves in the church,” and why some communities enable harmful behavior in the name of ministry success. We explore hard questions about complicity, spiritual bypassing, and the fallout of trusting institutions more than the people they’re meant to serve. Randy shares candidly about his own journey of healing, growth, and learning to name what’s true—even when it’s painful.If you’ve ever wrestled with church hurt, spiritual disillusionment, or how to rebuild trust in faith spaces, this conversation is for you. Key Takeaways * How to spot spiritual abuse and power dynamics in church leadership * Why good fruit doesn’t cancel out harmful roots * The dangers of idolizing leaders and minimizing harm * What it looks like to stay in the room without staying silent * Steps toward healing when you’ve been hurt by the church * The difference between agreement and validation in walking with others  Link Back to Previous Episodes Episode 6: Demon Hunting: How Hyper-Vigilance Kept Us in Fear – When fear masquerades as faith Episode 2: The Partner’s Perspective – Heidi’s story of healing from relational and spiritual trauma Links Email us: stayintheroompodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast Learn more about Zoe’s House Adoption Agency: Zoe’s House Follow Randy on X: @RBohlender Disclaimer This episode includes honest discussions about spiritual abuse and church trauma. Listener discretion is advised. Side effects may include reflection, clarity, and a renewed desire for truth, accountability, and wholeness. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 8m
  6. “A Glass Half Empty – Rethinking My Relationship with Alcohol”

    04/03/2025

    “A Glass Half Empty – Rethinking My Relationship with Alcohol”

    Episode Summary In this honest and reflective episode, Heidi shares the story behind one of her most impactful breakups—her slow, quiet, and deeply personal decision to walk away from alcohol. What began as a memoir-style Substack article turns into a vulnerable conversation about what it means to examine a culturally accepted habit that no longer aligns with your values, health, or intuition. Heidi discusses how drinking became a normalized part of adulthood, how it was used to numb stress and emotion, and how the “sober curious” movement offered a nonjudgmental space for change. She opens up about the subtle (but powerful) physical, emotional, and relational toll alcohol had on her life—and how listening to her body, nervous system, and inner wisdom ultimately led her to say goodbye. Key Takeaways * Why you don’t have to hit rock bottom to reevaluate your drinking * How alcohol can dull intuition, increase stress, and create internal misalignment * The social and emotional conditioning we carry around alcohol use * The power of curiosity, body awareness, and truth-telling in healing * What it means to be “Sunshine Sober” and live a more vibrant, present life Resources Mentioned in This Episode * Heidi’s essay on Substack: A Glass Half Empty – Leaving My Most Abusive Relationship * This Naked Mind by Annie Grace * The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober: Catherine Gray * Brainspotting, breathwork, and nervous system regulation as healing tools Connect with Us Follow us on Instagram: @the_stayintheroompodcast Share your thoughts or submit questions for future episodes: [Submit Here] Disclaimer: This episode includes sensitive discussions around substance use and emotional health. Listener discretion is advised. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 6m
  7. Episode 11: Codependence, Independence, Interdependence

    03/27/2025

    Episode 11: Codependence, Independence, Interdependence

    Episode Summary:In this raw and relatable episode, we explore the dynamics of codependence, independence, and interdependence in relationships. Drawing from their 20+ years of marriage and personal recovery work, Jonathan and Heidi Mills unpack how codependent behaviors often stem from trauma, family systems, and social conditioning—especially for women of faith.This conversation is full of insight for anyone navigating relationship struggles, people-pleasing tendencies, or a loss of identity within partnership. With compassion and honesty, Jonathan and Heidi discuss how to reclaim your sense of self, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate true interdependence without swinging to hyper-independence. What We Cover in This Episode: * The origins of codependency and how it evolved beyond addiction recovery * Signs of codependent behavior in marriage, parenting, friendships, and faith communities * How trauma and family of origin shape our relational patterns * The difference between codependence, independence, and interdependence, and interdependence * Why truth-telling is essential for healing and deeper connection * How codependency can hinder your partner’s growth and your own * How to disrupt dysfunctional cycles with empathy, boundaries, and personal responsibility Resources Mentioned in This Episode: * The Best of You by Dr. Alison Cook Want to Connect? Subscribe to our Substack for reflections, bonus content, and deeper insights: Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcastSend us your questions or feedback at stayintheroompodcast@gmail.com Final Thoughts: If you’re feeling lost in your relationships, constantly over-functioning, or struggling to find your voice—this episode is for you. Recovery from codependence doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible. Learning to honor your true self is not selfish—it’s sacred. Thank you for staying in the room with us. We’d Love to Hear from You! What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments, send us an email, or DM us on Instagram—we love hearing from our listeners. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 10m
  8. Episode 10: Unmasking Neurodivergence

    03/20/2025

    Episode 10: Unmasking Neurodivergence

    Episode Summary: In this eye-opening episode, we dive into the complexities of neurodivergence with our guest, Rebecca Armstead. Rebecca shares her deeply personal journey of discovering her neurodivergence later in life and how it shaped her experiences, relationships, and career. We explore the impact of late diagnosis, the challenges of masking, and the importance of embracing one’s authentic self. Whether you’ve personally experienced neurodivergence or want to better understand and support those who have, this conversation is packed with valuable insights and wisdom. What We Cover in This Episode: * Rebecca’s personal journey of overcoming trauma and years of undiagnosed neurodivergence * The experience of being diagnosed later in life and how that changed her perspective * How masking neurodivergence, particularly in women, can lead to burnout and self-medicating behaviors * The common misconceptions around ADHD, autism, and late-life diagnoses * The importance of understanding neurodivergence in relationships and how partners can offer support * Strategies for self-advocacy, emotional resilience, and building a fulfilling life while embracing neurodivergence * The dangers of high-masking and the toll it takes on mental and emotional healthHow to navigate a neurodivergent diagnosis as an adult and where to seek support Resources Mentioned in This Episode: * Rebecca’s Burnout Journal & Coloring Books – Available on AmazonFind * Rebecca at Rise Leadership LLC Want to Connect? * Subscribe to our Substack for deeper insights, behind-the-scenes conversations, and extra content: [Join Us Here] * Follow us on Instagram: @stayintheroompodcast * Have a question or a topic you’d like us to explore? * Send us a message at stayintheroompodcast@gmail.com—we’d love to hear from you! Final Thoughts: This episode sheds light on the often-overlooked challenges of late-diagnosed neurodivergence. Recovery, growth, and self-acceptance are possible, but it takes time, patience, and support. If you’re navigating neurodivergence, know that you are not alone. Thank you for staying in the room with us. We’d Love to Hear from You! What resonated most with you from this episode? Let us know in the comments or send us a message—we love hearing from our listeners. Get full access to Jonathan/Heidi’s Substack at stayintheroom.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 8m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

We're here for honest conversations. From marriage recovery to deconstruction, we tackle the messy & beautiful parts of life. Nothing’s off the table, and the only rule? We STAY in the room. Join us! stayintheroom.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Jonathan & Heidi Mills
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Jonathan/Heidi Mills
  • Show Website
    The Stay in the room Podcast