When the f**k did I become old?

Jo Parker
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When the F**k Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear. If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot). Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together. It’s ageing, without the airbrushing   Season 1 - The Journney Begins... Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify   Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whenthefkdidibecomeold/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhenthefkdidIbecomeold/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whenthefkdid_i_becomeold YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@WhentheFdidIbecomeold Email us whenthefkdidibecomeold@gmail.com  

  1. 5d ago

    What do women over 50 actually hire a male companion for? Spoiler: it's mostly not what you think.

    This week we are joined by George Goulburn, a straight male companion based in Sydney, who left a 25-year corporate career at 51 to work in what he calls the caring economy. We talk about what his clients actually want, why women over 50 are his core clientele, the loneliness epidemic and why making someone feel seen can change everything. Key Takeaways The thing women book George for most is not sex. It is companionship: someone who is completely present, puts their phone away, pays attention, and actually sees them. Many of his clients have been in relationships where there has been no intimacy or real connection for years, sometimes decades. They feel invisible. Two hours of genuine attention can be more transformative than years of waiting for something to change. The work is nothing like how male escorting is typically imagined. George will not take a booking without a phone call first, asks for photographs because the women have already seen him, and turns down clients he does not feel a connection with. His minimum booking is two hours because women need time to feel safe and to arrive at whatever the session becomes. Sex, if it happens at all, is rarely the point. The narrative that women become non-sexual after menopause is, as George puts it, a really messed up narrative. Most of his clients are 50 plus and at various points in their menopause journey. Many of them are financially independent, done being told what to do, and clear-eyed about what they want. The issue is not desire. The issue is that dating apps are soul-destroying and the options for meaningful connection are genuinely poor. George also works with people society rarely acknowledges as having needs at all: people with disabilities, mature virgins, and couples who want help reigniting their connection. His eldest client was 82. He has seen a woman in her mid-50s who had never kissed anyone before. He discounts his rates for clients with disabilities because, as he says, everyone deserves touch and affection. Timestamps 00:09 - Welcome and introducing George Goulburn, straight male companion 02:35 - How it started: a lover on Bumble who wanted to pay him 03:20 - How family and friends reacted, including his son and his mum 04:59 - Lovers versus clients, and why George lives ethically non-monogamous 06:30 - Pricing strategy: finding a mentor who had already done the work 08:20 - What he got wrong early on, and how it differs from dating 09:51 - Why his minimum booking is two hours, and what women actually want 12:14 - Who books him: divorced, widowed, in sexless marriages, and feeling invisible 14:35 - Online dating, the transactional culture, and why women go to a professional 16:30 - What he does to make women feel seen and beautiful 18:30 - The client who withdrew from her mortgage and went to work transformed 19:27 - Bette Midler, energy, and why confidence is not about looks 21:52 - The narrative that menopause means shutting up shop, and why that is wrong 24:18 - What he would say to a woman thinking about booking, and to men who want to do this work 26:44 - The loneliness epidemic beyond older women 27:10 - Mature virgins, disabilities, and people society does not see 31:34 - Seeing couples: helping reignite connection and showing partners what is possible 33:59 - How to find George, and wrap up If you want to find George: https://www.georgegoulburn.com/ https://www.instagram.com/georgegoulburnofficial/ He travels internationally (except the USA, for obvious reasons) and is happy to answer questions.

  2. Sep 17

    The rise of mini-retirements - why just have one?

    What if retirement wasn't a single event at the end of your working life, but something you did two or three times along the way? This week we dig into the HSBC Quality of Life Report 2025, which surveyed 11,000 affluent investors across 12 countries, and unpack the emerging trend of mini retirements: intentional career breaks of six to twelve months designed to recharge, redirect and realign, not just rest. Key Takeaways The traditional model of working solidly until you retire at 65 is quietly being replaced by something more fluid. Nearly half of the people surveyed aspire to take at least one intentional career break, and for many, that means two or three across their working life, roughly every six years, starting around 47 on average, with Gen Z aiming as early as 42. The shift is not just logistical, it is philosophical. Younger generations in particular are redefining what wealth actually means, moving away from purely financial measures toward quality of life, personal development and the freedom to live differently before you are too old to enjoy it. But the financial reality is significant. On average, people want half a million dollars of investable assets before they feel comfortable stepping away, and expect to spend anywhere from under 100,000 to over 300,000 on a single break. That requires dedicated planning, alternative income streams and a clear strategy well before the pause begins. The people who make it work treat the break as a deliberate career redirection, not a holiday. They go in with a plan for what they will do, how they will re-skill and exactly how they intend to return to work afterwards. The ones who struggle are the ones who figure it out as they go. Timestamps 00:09 - Welcome: introducing the mini retirement trend and why it matters now 02:32 - About the report: 11,000 affluent investors across 12 countries and how they broke down by generation 04:57 - What a mini retirement actually is: how it differs from a sabbatical or parental leave 07:21 - How many retirements are people planning and at what ages? Generational breakdown 09:44 - The new definition of wealth: why nearly half of Gen Z measure success by work-life balance 12:06 - Motivations by generation: family, travel, passion, entrepreneurship and personal reassessment 14:34 - 87% of people who tried a mini retirement said it had a positive impact on their quality of life 15:47 - How much does a mini retirement cost and what savings level do people feel they need first? 17:01 - How each generation plans to fund it: savings, property, pensions and part-time work 19:20 - Gen Z's fifth funding source: income from digital products and social media 21:43 - Confidence levels across generations and why Gen X feels the most squeezed 23:46 - The three biggest concerns: financial security, family obligations and re-entering the job market 26:09 - What successful mini retirees do differently: re-skilling with intent and planning the return before you leave 27:33 - Why building alternative income streams is the real foundation 28:33 - Three steps to start your own mini retirement blueprint Full report: HSBC Quality of Life Report 2025

  3. Sep 10

    Could retirement be the thing that finally breaks your relationship?

    This week we explore why the transition into retirement is one of the most underestimated triggers for silver divorce, and what the research says you can actually do about it. Plus, seven tools from Bruce Feiler's Life is in the Transitions to help you navigate any major life change without losing yourself or each other. Key Takeaways The decisions we think we make freely throughout life, who to date, which jobs to take, where to live, are almost always made within a far smaller set of constraints than we realise. Work, children, parents, geography: these things quietly shape every choice. Retirement strips all of that away at once, and most of us are completely unprepared for what that freedom actually feels like. That sudden freedom is not only liberating. It is destabilising. And when one partner is energised by it while the other feels adrift, or when one person starts making plans that do not naturally include the other, that is where relationships can quietly begin to fracture. The classic drivers of silver divorce, constant togetherness, mismatched retirement visions, loss of identity, financial anxiety, and issues buried under decades of busyness, are well documented. The freedom factor is the one people rarely see coming. Bruce Feiler's seven tools offer a practical framework for any major life transition: name the emotion, mark the ending, put down the old story, try new things without pressure, talk it through with others, declare a direction, and eventually tell a new story about who you are becoming. You do not have to do all seven, and you certainly do not have to do them in order. But the ones you skip tend to find you anyway. We are both at the beginning of a new chapter. It turns out that is harder, and more interesting, than either of us expected. Timestamps 00:10 - Welcome: retirement as a trigger for silver divorce 02:32 - The illusion of free choice: how constrained our decisions really are 09:41 - When every constraint drops at once: retirement and the arrival of real freedom 12:06 - The freshers' crisis parallel: what sudden freedom actually feels like 14:29 - How new freedom can quietly threaten a relationship 16:50 - The documented drivers of later life divorce: togetherness, identity, finances and unmasked issues 21:28 - When one partner feels liberated and the other feels lost 23:55 - The books we read on holiday: Ikigai and Life is in the Transitions 25:58 - Tool 1: Accept it - name what you are actually feeling 27:45 - Tool 2: Mark it - ritualise the end of one chapter 28:22 - Tool 3: Shed it - let go of the story you have been telling about yourself 30:46 - Tool 4: Create it - try things without committing to anything 31:55 - Tool 5: Share it - say the messy bit out loud to someone else 33:08 - Tool 6: Launch it - declare a direction even when you are uncertain 35:17 - Tool 7: Tell it - compose a fresh story about who you are becoming 36:30 - Where does all of this leave us? https://www.brucefeiler.com/books-articles/life-is-in-the-transitions/

  4. Sep 3

    5 Hot Trends In Luxury Wellness - Should We Be Doing Them?

    We're recording this one from a wellness retreat in Kefalonia, Greece and it felt like the perfect place to dig into the 5 hottest wellness trends for 2026. From social fitness and luxury retreats to digital detoxes, biological age obsession and habit stacking gone too far, we share what the research says, what we've seen at home and what we've experienced first-hand this week. Key Takeaways The social fitness trend is backed by real data. Nuffield Health found that half of us are more likely to stick to exercise if we do it with other people, and Strava reports that UK run clubs on its platform tripled in the first half of this year compared to 2024. On digital detox, 72 hours offline and in nature is scientifically proven to reduce stress and curb phone dependency. Unplugged, a UK company with 50 cabin locations all within two hours of a major city, has built an entire business on that insight. Over half their guests book specifically because of burnout and screen fatigue. You do not have to go that far. Biological age is the new status symbol and the markers that matter are grip strength and bone density, not the number on the scales. The good news, according to longevity expert Dr Sophie Schotter, is that the best interventions cost nothing: strength training, a gut-friendly diet and decent sleep. You do not need a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. Habit stacking is a useful concept that is being stretched well past its limits. Stacking 16 habits on top of each other will not make any of them stick. If your wellness routine is relatively simple and it is working, that is enough. Timestamps 01:30 - What the resort offers: yoga, pilates, functional fitness, paddle boarding and spa 03:20 - Kev breaks his toe, Jo hurts her back: our first week in numbers 04:58 - Spa treatments: hammam, sea salt scrub, clay body wrap, collagen facial and red light therapy 07:22 - Trend 1: Social wellness fitness, the shift from solo to community-based exercise 09:00 - Nuffield Health research: 50% of us are more likely to stick to fitness if we do it socially 09:43 - Paddle tennis dating nights, park runs, Sweat Society run club and Strava data 11:00 - Sauna raves, group ice baths, Pilates parties and Hyrox 12:06 - Forbes: the move from self-optimisation to multi-generational community wellbeing spaces 13:30 - Our tip: keep it local if you want to actually make friends 14:18 - Trend 2: Luxury fitness retreats and the wellness travel boom 15:10 - Soho House, Daylesford, Lululemon, Sweaty Betty and Alo's St Tropez yacht 17:30 - Globetrender CEO on vacations as skills development and sporting exploration 18:52 - Noah's Surf House in Portugal, and what else is on offer in Kefalonia this week 19:50 - Trend 3: Digital detox and the return of the analogue 20:30 - Dumb phones, physical journaling and forest bathing on the rise 21:15 - Unplugged: 50 UK cabin locations, phone lockbox, 72 hours offline proven to reduce stress 24:30 - The Brick: the device that selectively locks your smartphone apps 25:46 - The Dose Effect by TJ Power and taking phones off the dinner table 26:50 - Trend 4: Biological age as a status symbol 27:00 - Longevity expert Dr Sophie Schotter: grip strength and bone density are the new bragging rights 27:53 - Why strength over skinniness matters, and the osteoporosis risk in ultra-thin celebrities 28:40 - The best biohackers are free: strength training, gut-friendly diet and sleep hygiene 29:30 - Trend 5: Habit stacking getting out of hand 30:00 - James Clear's Atomic Habits and the original stacking concept 31:00 - Yoga with live music, heated studios, red light therapy, Ministry of Sound sweat classes 32:35 - Why simple beats gimmicky, and doing wellness your own way

  5. Aug 28

    Age Gap Dating - Is it a good idea and would you do it?

    Is age gap dating actually a good idea, or just a good idea in theory? This week we dig into the world of age gap relationships, prompted by the Netflix series Age of Attraction and a Sunday paper article by Julie Birchell. We look at the stats, the celebrities, the real people we know, and every couple from the show to work out whether the gap is worth it and whether either of us would actually do it. Key Takeaways The ONS threshold for an age gap relationship is ten years. That sounds like a lot until you look at the couples on Age of Attraction, where the shortest gap was thirteen years and the longest was thirty-three. And once you get past about twenty years, it stops looking like a relationship and starts looking like a logistics problem. The stats tell an interesting story. Age gap marriages are declining overall, from eleven percent of all marriages in 2000 to seven and a half percent today for older man, younger woman pairings. The reverse, older woman with a younger man, is rare and getting rarer, at just one point three percent. Meanwhile nearly a quarter of male same-sex marriages involve a ten-year-plus gap, which suggests the driver here is male, not age. The older woman dynamic is genuinely harder. Vanessa Feltz spent years hiding her menopause and competing physically with women decades younger. Julie Birchell has had to reckon with her younger husband becoming her carer. Joan Collins, at 93, has simply decided she would find someone else if needed. The emotional labour falls disproportionately on the older woman in a way it simply does not on the older man. Of the couples on the show, the ones that worked best were the ones where both people were actually grown up, not just old enough. A 22-year-old who has never heard of the Spice Girls and a 26-year-old who has never lived with another human being are not equipped to carry the weight of a relationship with a fifteen or twenty year gap. Age is not the same as maturity, and the show makes that painfully clear. As for whether we would do it: no, and not for entirely noble reasons. Timestamps 00:50 - Age of Attraction on Netflix and the Julie Birchell article 02:31 - Defining age gap: the ONS says 10 years or more 04:49 - Why men tend to date younger: the peer group evaporation theory 07:12 - Celebrity case studies: Julie Birchell, Joan Collins, Vanessa Feltz, Demi Moore 11:56 - The ONS stats on age gap marriages, then and now 15:00 - How Age of Attraction works: the promise room, the apartments, the family introductions 17:37 - Couple 1: Andrew (38) and Libby (22), 16-year gap 19:05 - Couple 2: George (60) and Vanelle (27), 33-year gap 21:24 - Couple 3: John (27) and Theresa (54), 27-year gap 23:47 - Couple 4: Derek (43) and Pfeiffer (23), 20-year gap 26:03 - Couple 5: Chris (26) and Leah (41), 15-year gap 27:37 - Couple 6: Logan (29) and Vanessa (49), 20-year gap 28:22 - The official pros of age gap dating 30:46 - The cons, and why we land heavily on that side 34:59 - Would we or wouldn't we? 37:24 - Wrap up, plus we are heading to Greece

  6. Aug 21

    The seven psychological habits that will keep you young - after 50!

    What happens when one partner retires and the other doesn't? This week we get real about the unspoken expectations that collide when life rhythms fall out of sync, before diving into seven psychological habits that research shows can keep us biologically and mentally younger after 50. Spoiler: it has nothing to do with wrinkles. Key Takeaways Retirement without a prior conversation is a recipe for a collision of unspoken expectations, especially when one of you is still working. The biggest drivers of how old you appear to others have nothing to do with genetics or grey hair. They are psychological. Treating your age like a number on a driving licence rather than a medical diagnosis matters more than most of us realise. Nostalgia is fine in small doses, but overdosing on the past tells your brain the best days are behind you. Comfort is a slow, silent killer of youth. The brain thrives on novelty, so doing things that make you feel like an idiot is actually the point. Playfulness is not childish; it is a genuine marker of psychological youth. And complaining about ailments is fine in private, but turning it into a competitive sport only reinforces the idea that you are in decay. Perhaps most powerfully: carrying a grudge is drinking the poison yourself and hoping someone else drops dead. Packing light emotionally is not weakness. It is the strategy. We have all seven of these habits somewhere in us. The question is which ones we are actively choosing. Timestamps 00:50 - Two weeks of retirement: what we thought would happen vs. reality 04:57 - What we learned about unspoken expectations when partners retire at different speeds 06:44 - Introducing the seven psychological habits (credit: The Human Hack on TikTok) 09:06 - Habit 1: Stop letting your age be a medical diagnosis 15:53 - Habit 2: Stay curious and stop living in the past 18:08 - Habit 3: Free yourself from external validation and others' judgment 22:51 - Habit 4: Actively destroy your comfort zones 27:18 - Habit 5: Refuse to become a chronic complainer 31:55 - Habit 6: Maintain a relentless sense of playfulness 35:00 - Habit 7: Practice selective memory editing, pack light 39:09 - Wrap-up: ageing is a choice you make every day Human Hack https://www.tiktok.com/@thehumanhack1/video/7662053029448863006

  7. Aug 13

    What we would tell our younger selves - How to prepare for retirement in your 40s

    Inspired by a question from one of our listeners, this episode is dedicated to the financial side of retirement planning and what we wish we had known and done sooner. From understanding what a retirement lifestyle actually costs in real money, to working out your savings ratio, to dry-running your retirement budget before you actually need it, we get into the practical detail that nobody tells you until it is too late. Key TakeawaysThe defined benefit pension era is over. Unlike our parents' generation, most of us are responsible for funding our own retirement and have had almost no guidance on how much that actually costs.3 retirement living standards exist as a benchmark. Pensions UK and Loughborough University's Centre for Research in Social Policy launched these in 2019. For a couple, the minimum is £22,500 a year, moderate is £45,400, and comfortable is £62,700.Most people are not saving enough. Only 23% of the working population is on track to reach the moderate standard. Just 9% will reach comfortable.2 things to focus on. Know what lifestyle you are actually targeting and work out your savings ratio.The 4% rule and compounding are your friends. If you invest in equities over the long term, history suggests a 5% real return. Withdrawing only 4% annually means your portfolio should not run out. And £1,000 invested today, plus £115 a month over 20 years at 5% growth, becomes roughly £50,000 from a £27,600 total contribution.Lifestyle inflation is a quiet killer. Pay rises and bonuses that get absorbed into bigger cars etc are the single biggest thing working against your savings ratio in your 40s.Dry-run your retirement budget. Live on your target retirement income for a year. Split it into monthly buckets andtrack the variance.Timestamps00:09 The listener question that shaped this episode 02:33 Why the rules changed: from defined benefit pensions to figuring it out yourself 04:52 The retirement living standards introduced 07:09 The 3 lifestyle levels: minimum, moderate and comfortable, with headline figures for singles and couples 09:36 Inside the minimum budget: what £22,500 a year actually buys a couple 11:34 Inside the moderate budget: £45,400 and what changes 13:52 Inside the comfortable budget: what £62,700 covers including holidays and activities 16:14 Why the state pension alone leaves you below the minimum standard and what the PLSA is doing about it 18:38 The 2 things you need to know: your target lifestyle and your savings ratio 21:02 Tools to help: the James Shack graph on financial independence and the Net Worthify retirement calculator 23:28 Why spending less beats chasing higher returns, every time 25:51 Lessons from Early Retirement Wanderlust: eliminate debt, avoid lifestyle inflation, and harness compounding 32:56 The dry-run: how to live on your retirement budget for a year before you need to, and why it is the most useful thing you can do https://www.retirementlivingstandards.org.uk/details   Retirement IFA – James Shack: https://www.youtube.com/@JamesShack   Retirement Calculator: https://networthify.com/calculator/ea...

  8. Aug 6

    Healthspan v Lifespan - What if you run out of time before you run out of money?

    Most of us spend years planning for a financially secure retirement, but how often do we stop to ask whether we'll actually be well enough to enjoy it? In this episode, we dig into three interconnected timelines that shape how we age: lifespan, health span, and work span. The gaps between them are bigger than most people realise, and understanding them might just change when, and why, you decide to stop working. Key TakeawaysThe health gap is significant. In the UK, average healthy life expectancy is just 60.7 years for men and 60.9 for women, yet average lifespan stretches into the mid-80s. That leaves a potential 15+ years living with chronic illness, reduced mobility, or cognitive decline.Where you live matters. Health span varies dramatically by region. Surrey averages 65 (men) and 66 (women). The Orkney Islands top the UK charts at 73 and 74 respectively.Work span is the one you can change. The traditional model assumes you work from roughly 22 to 67, sacrificing your healthiest, most energetic years. But the labour market is already pushing people out after 50, while governments are pushing the pension age up. That gap has to be funded from somewhere.Redefining wealth is the shift. If wealth only means money and assets, you're not ready to change anything. But once you redefine it to include time, freedom, energy, and health, different decisions start to make sense.You can time travel. Aging is not a fixed decline. Lifestyle choices around movement, food, sleep, stress, alcohol, and social connection genuinely influence how fast your body ages at a cellular level. Genetics accounts for only 10 to 30% of lifespan variation.Practical levers for your work span. Max out employer health cover now. Build savings outside of pension vehicles to bridge the gap. Consider flexible working, which you have a legal right to request in the UK. Invest in transferable skills if a career change is on your radar. And if a separation is possible, get independent asset valuations before any decisions are made.Timestamps00:09 Introduction and framing: why we focus too much on money and not enough on health in retirement planning 02:31 Defining the three clocks: lifespan, health span, and work span 04:57 UK and US lifespan statistics, and the sobering health span data from the ONS 07:24 What good health span actually looks like in daily life, according to Harvard Medical School 09:50 Introducing work span, the 45-year trade of time and energy for economic security 12:16 Why the deal is getting worse: rising pension age, a hostile job market for over-50s, and no state support to fill the gap 16:54 The light bulb moment: flipping the trade and redefining what wealth means 21:35 Time travel is real: how lifestyle choices influence the hallmarks of aging 28:31 Practical steps to shorten your work span and fund the gap on your own terms https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthy-aging-and-longevity/lifespan-vs-healthspan-why-how-you-age-matters-more-than-how-long-you-live

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About

When the F**k Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear. If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot). Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together. It’s ageing, without the airbrushing   Season 1 - The Journney Begins... Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify   Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/whenthefkdidibecomeold/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/WhenthefkdidIbecomeold/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whenthefkdid_i_becomeold YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@WhentheFdidIbecomeold Email us whenthefkdidibecomeold@gmail.com  

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