Hot Mess to Higher Self with Diana Fjer

Diana Fjer
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Alternative Health
  • Updated Daily

For the woman ready to release the mess and embody her highest self.

  1. Sep 17

    Congrats, Your Nervous System is Cosplaying A Gazelle Running From A Lion // The Flight Response

    This one almost didn't happen — and that's kind of the point. This episode on the flight response turned into me living the flight response in real time: avoiding the recording for days, distracting myself with baby chicks, and then having a string of panic attacks mid-episode. I left it in. Nervous systems don't wait for good lighting. In this episode: What the flight response actually is, physiologically — same fuel as fight (adrenaline, cortisol, amygdala/hypothalamus), different directionWhy flight shows up as restless legs, a tight chest, and a burning-gut "get me out of here" feeling, instead of fight's heat and clenched jawThe split-second, non-conscious calculation your brain runs to decide fight vs. flight — and why it's never been about courageReal-life flight: social avoidance, procrastination, silent-treatment relational withdrawal — and how to spot the nervous energy hiding under all of itWhat happens when that mobilized energy has nowhere to go (spoiler: it doesn't just disappear — hello, panic attacks)What I actually did to move through it: nature, self-holding, reaching out for co-regulation, and — completely unplanned — coloringThe two wolves inside all of us, and which one you're feedingA heads up: this episode is unscripted and unfiltered in a way the last one wasn't. If you're looking for the tidy, produced version — that's not this one. This is the real-time, messy version, and it's the one I needed to make. 🎧 Next episode: Freeze — the state that doesn't fight and doesn't run. It just stops. Hot Mess To Higher Self presents a series on the nervous system, spirituality, and what it actually means to heal — no belief system required, and no pretending to have it all figured out.  💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  2. Sep 9

    Congrats, Your Nervous System Thinks You're Being Cornered By A Bear // The Fight Response

    Ever snapped at your kid over dishes that still aren't done? Yelled at a stranger who cut you off on the highway with zero remorse? Given someone the silent treatment and felt very justified about it? Congrats — that's your fight response, and it thinks you're being cornered by a bear. This episode kicks off a brand new series all about the nervous system — the 4 States, the Window of Tolerance, the Polyvagal Ladder, and how they all connect. We're starting with Fight: what it actually looks like (loud AND quiet), what's happening in your brain and body when it takes over, why the shame spiral makes it worse, and a real practice you can use to actually discharge that energy instead of taking it out on the people you love. In this episode: The obvious fight response (yelling, road rage) — and the sneakier ones you probably didn't clock as "fight" (passive-aggression, micro-managing, the silent treatment, intellectualizing, and more) What's actually happening in your brain — your amygdala, your prefrontal cortex, and your "reptilian brain" taking the wheel Why this response isn't a character flaw — it's ancient, it's protective, and it's just responding to the wrong kind of threat A real, demonstrated practice for discharging built-up fight energy — in the moment, in the car, or anywhere you've got no space or privacy 💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  3. Sep 2

    This Past Year Has Been A MindF*ck... And Then I Died

    In this episode: Why a coaching program for coaches triggered a full emotional unraveling Complex trauma, over-efforting, and the illusion of control Depression, suicidal ideation, and what the freeze state actually looks like day to day The terrifying experience of losing connection to spirituality Bad therapist horror stories (and how to find a good one) What it took to finally accept help — and what happened when she did The shift from relationship coaching to nervous system-first work Introducing the Relief Container: a 12-week nervous system coaching program The Relief Workshop: a 90-minute live Zoom experience — coming soon What's next: a podcast series on the nervous system Resources mentioned: Psychology Today therapist finder: psychologytoday.com TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) for treatment-resistant depression If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out. You don't have to do this alone. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  4. 09/24/2025

    I Know He Cares, So Why Do I Feel So Alone?

    He’s not cruel. He shows up. He cares. So why do you still feel like you’re carrying the relationship alone? This episode is for the woman who keeps asking herself, “If I know he loves me, why do I feel so lonely?” Inside, I’m breaking down: ✨ The disconnect between care and connection — and why your body knows the difference ✨ How childhood imprints taught you to settle for breadcrumbs and feel guilty for still being hungry ✨ Why loneliness inside a relationship is a nervous system signal (not a character flaw) ✨ Two self-healing practices to name your needs and validate your experience in real time ✨ Three journal prompts to uncover where you feel unmet and what connection really means for you ✨ The powerful reframe: you are not asking for too much — you’re asking for the right thing This isn’t about blaming your partner. It’s about reclaiming your clarity, your body’s wisdom, and your right to want more than surface-level care. Because care maintains, but connection nourishes. And your heart deserves to be nourished. 💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  5. 09/10/2025

    You Don’t Have to Wait for Him to Change

    You’ve begged, explained, cried, shut down… and nothing sticks. If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one doing the work in your relationship, this episode is for you. Inside, Diana unpacks why you’ve been giving away your power by waiting for him to heal, and how your nervous system is actually addicted to the cycle. She shares two powerful practices you can start today to break the loop, reclaim your energy, and rewrite the story of your relationship — even if he never changes. What you’ll learn in this episode: The hidden chemistry of toxic relationship cycles (and why they’re so addictive) Why outsourcing your safety to his behavior keeps you stuck What actually shifts when you begin to heal your nervous system A somatic practice to interrupt the cycle in the moment An energetic sovereignty ritual to reclaim your power Journal prompts to uncover where you’ve been giving away control How to rewrite the ending of the pattern and reclaim your story Your healing is enough to transform how you feel, respond, and connect. You don’t have to wait for him to rise — you are the shift. 💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  6. 09/03/2025

    When Mindset Work Isn’t Enough — Healing on the Soul Level

    You’ve read the books. Said the affirmations. Repeated the mantras. But the overthinking is still there. The self-doubt creeps back in. The same old spiral pulls you under again. In today’s episode of Hot Mess to Higher Self, we’re breaking down why mindset work alone will always hit a ceiling—and what it really takes to heal on a soul-deep level. We’re talking polyvagal theory (in simple terms), nervous system healing, energy work, and how to actually shift those patterns that feel stuck on repeat. Inside this episode: — Why your brain can’t out-think trauma — How your body holds the key to real safety and change — What talk therapy gets wrong (and how somatic work goes deeper) — The energetic roots of emotional patterns — Soul-level healing that sticks You’ll also get two powerful practices—one somatic and one energetic—to anchor into safety, regulate your system, and clear out anything that isn’t yours. Grab a journal, get comfy, and let’s go deep. 📝 JOURNALING PROMPTSThese are included in the episode, but here they are for easy reference: 🌀 Where in my life do I keep knowing better, but still feel stuck in the same loop? 🌿 What am I still trying to fix or control with my mind, that might actually need to be felt and healed in my body instead? 🔥 What’s a story I keep telling myself about who I am, or what I deserve in relationships… and where do I think that story came from? 💫 What would it look like to give my nervous system permission to stop bracing, and start trusting? 🖤 If I could speak to the part of me that still feels scared, what would I say to her? 💌 GO DEEPER WITH DIANAReady to take this work to the next level? Inside my 12-week 1:1 coaching container Healing Her, we blend somatic healing, energy work, and soul-led transformation to help you finally feel grounded, secure, and worthy in your body—and your relationships. ✨ Learn more + book a free discovery call here: https://www.dianafjer.com/healing-her ✨ Grab your free guide: https://www.dianafjer.com/clearing-energetic-imprints   💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  7. 04/23/2025

    You’re Not Too Much — You’re Just Dysregulated

    This episode is for the woman who’s been shamed for feeling deeply. Together, we explore what being “too much” really means, where that story began, and how to shift it at the root. You’ll learn powerful somatic and energetic practices to release shame, regulate your emotions, and reclaim your sensitivity as a sacred gift — not a flaw. Journal Prompts from the episode: 🖋 “What does ‘too much’ mean to me?” 🖋 “Where did I learn that my needs were inconvenient?” 🖋 “What part of me is asking to be validated right now?” Tag me on socials @dianafjer.coach if this episode moved you — I’d love to hear what resonated most. 💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

  8. 04/09/2025

    The Real Reason You’re Always Overthinking Your Relationship

    In this juicy milestone episode, we’re talking all things relationship overthinking — why it happens, what it really means, and how to finally interrupt the cycle so you can feel grounded in love. Here’s what you’ll learn: 💭 Why overthinking is a nervous system response, not a personal flaw 👧 How your childhood shaped your need to stay on high alert 🧘 Two powerful practices to calm your mind and regulate your energy 🖊️ Journal prompts to help you break the cycle and create safety within 💡 The truth about peace: it doesn’t come from him — it comes from you   Journal Prompts from this episode: When I’m overthinking, what am I afraid will happen if I stop? What do I wish he would say or do that I’m trying to find between the lines? How can I offer that reassurance to myself right now?   If you’re ready to stop spiraling, start trusting, and create a relationship that feels like home (instead of a mental war zone), this one’s for you. 🧠 Share this episode with a friend who overthinks everything (we all know one). 💖 Ready to find relief in your body — not just your mind? Learn about the Relief Container, my 12-week nervous system coaching program. 👉 The Relief Container 🕊️ The Relief Workshop happens once a week — 90 minutes, $33, nervous system education + a live somatic practice together. Sign-ups are open. 📬 Join the mailing list for exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: Free guides, special offers, early access to new programs, and tools to support your healing journey. 👉 [Join the mailing list!] 🌀 Follow me everywhere: @dianafjer.coach

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For the woman ready to release the mess and embody her highest self.

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