School Decisions with Rishanka Jones

Rishanka Jones
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Choosing a school, navigating special education, deciding when to start kindergarten. These are some of the highest-stakes decisions parents make, and most of us make them with bad information and not enough time. This playlist collects every conversation I've had on those decisions. Public vs private schools and what the data actually shows. Montessori vs traditional preschool. Whether to hold your child back before kindergarten. IEPs, 504 plans, and how to get the support your child is entitled to. Homeschooling legally. What really matters for college admissions. Each one is built around a single question, with educators, school psychologists, special education advocates, and parents who've already been through it. New videos added every week.

  1. 5d ago

    Why Smart Kids Can't Hand Anything In (Executive Function Explained)

    Your child writes a genuinely good essay. Then never hands it in. You find it in the bottom of the backpack three weeks later, finished, and worth a good grade if anyone had seen it. That isn't laziness and it isn't carelessness. It's two different skills developing at two different speeds. The part of the brain that gets excited about an idea matures earlier than the part that follows through on it. So a child can be brilliant at the thinking and genuinely unable to do the handing in. Those aren't the same skill and they don't arrive at the same time. This video covers what executive function actually is in plain language, why "clean your room" is six instructions rather than one, why this hits capable children in particular, what it looks like at each age, and what actually helps. CHAPTERS 00:00 The essay in the bottom of the backpack 01:00 What executive function actually is 02:00 Why "write a book report" is not one instruction 03:00 The part that explains bright kids specifically 04:00 What it looks like, by age 05:00 The thing that makes it worse 06:00 What actually helps THE THING MOST PARENTS DON'T REALISE When you say "do your homework," you think you've given one instruction. You've given about six: Working out what needs doing first. Deciding where to start. Actually starting. Keeping going when it's boring. Switching between parts of it. Noticing when you're done. Every one of those is a separate skill. A child can be excellent at three of them and genuinely unable to do the other three. Which is why "just start it" doesn't work. Starting is one of the hardest of the six, and it's the one we treat as though it takes no effort at all. WHY IT HITS BRIGHT KIDS HARDEST Development isn't even. A child can be years ahead in one area and behind in another at the same time. Researchers who work with gifted children call this asynchrony. So you get a child with an advanced working memory who can hold an enormous amount in their head, and an underdeveloped ability to switch attention when they need to. Because the strengths are so obvious, the difficulty gets read as attitude. Nobody looks at a clearly clever child and thinks "skill gap." They think "he's not trying." And the child, who is also watching this, concludes the same thing about himself. WHAT ACTUALLY HELPS Treat it as a skill, not a character trait. These have to be taught, the same way reading and swimming are taught. Break the instruction into its parts. Not "do your homework." Instead: get the book out, open to page 40, do the first three questions, then come and find me. Make starting easier, because starting is the hard bit. Sit with them for the first two minutes. Set a timer for ten minutes rather than "until it's done." Put the system outside their head. A checklist on the wall, a photo of the finished backpack, an alarm. If working memory is the weak link, stop asking it to do the job. RELATED Why Schools Miss Bright Kids, with Dr. Jonathan Plucker https://youtu.be/xgaKpjYwZ7o Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: What the Research Actually Shows https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This is general information, not a diagnosis or medical advice about your child. Executive function difficulties are common alongside ADHD, autism and learning differences. If you're concerned, speak to your pediatrician or your child's school about an evaluation. #executivefunction #ADHD #parenting #homework #education #neurodiversity #parentingteens #executivefunctioning #schoolstruggles #parentingtips

    Why Smart Kids Can't Hand Anything In (Executive Function Explained)

  2. Oct 12

    Why Schools Miss Dyslexia, and What You Can See at Home

    Nearly every state now has a dyslexia law. Research published this year found most of them haven't changed much for struggling readers. Which is why so many children are missed. The states where things did improve, Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama, didn't just pass a law. They changed how reading was taught to every child, trained the teachers, and put literacy coaches in schools. So your state having legislation does not mean your child will be found. You may be the one who notices. This video covers what dyslexia actually is, three things you'll be told that aren't true, and what to look for at each age from preschool through elementary school. CHAPTERS 00:00 Why a state law may not help your child 00:50 What dyslexia actually is 01:40 Three things you'll be told that aren't true 03:10 What to look for, by age 05:00 The clearest single signal 06:00 What to actually do THREE MYTHS THAT COST FAMILIES YEARS "We can't test before third grade." Screening can start as early as preschool, and intervention between four and six makes a real difference. The guidance is to identify children before third grade, not after. "He writes letters backwards, so it's dyslexia." Reversals are normal in young children. They only become a warning sign if they're still happening after about two years of handwriting instruction. "Let's hold him back a year." The US Department of Education, the American Federation of Teachers and the National Association of School Psychologists all agree that retention does not fix academic struggles. THE CLEAREST SIGNAL Your child is getting proper reading instruction and still isn't progressing the way you'd expect given everything else about them. That gap, between how capable your child obviously is and how their reading is going, is the thing worth acting on. Not any single sign on its own. THE QUESTION TO ASK THE TEACHER "When my child comes to a word they don't know, what do they do?" Sound it out, guess from the first letter, look at the picture, or stop. The answer tells you a great deal. IF YOU'RE IN MARYLAND Maryland requires universal reading screening three times a year for all kindergarten students, and for selected students in first through third grade, to identify early warning signs of reading difficulties including dyslexia. Worth knowing what your school is already doing before you ask for anything more. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? https://youtu.be/orvIhmzU7AQ Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: What the Research Actually Shows https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This is general information to help you ask better questions. It is not a diagnosis or medical advice about your child. If you're concerned, speak to your pediatrician, your child's school, or a qualified specialist. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #dyslexia #signsofdyslexia #readingdifficulties #learningdisabilities #parenting #education #scienceofreading #dyslexiaawareness #specialeducation #readingintervention

    Why Schools Miss Dyslexia, and What You Can See at Home

  3. Oct 5

    Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? What the Research Actually Says

    Your child has a summer birthday. They'll be one of the youngest in the class. And someone has suggested you wait a year. It's called redshirting, and it feels like everyone is doing it. They aren't. In March 2026, researchers looked at data from more than three million kindergartners and found about five percent of children delay entry. That's roughly the same rate as the 1990s. They also followed one group of children from kindergarten to third grade to see whether waiting actually worked. It did. Children who started a year later scored higher in reading and math at entry, by a margin worth roughly 20 to 30 percent of a school year of learning. By third grade, that gap was gone. In this video I go through what the research found, why the advantage disappears, the finding about who actually redshirts that reframed the whole question for me, and how to think about your own child. CHAPTERS 00:00 Five percent, not everyone 01:00 Does it work? Yes, then no 02:15 The finding that should make you pause 03:30 The costs nobody puts in the column 04:30 When it actually makes sense 05:45 A better question than "is my child ready" 06:45 What to take away THE HONEST TEST Ask yourself which sentence is true: "I'm worried my child can't cope with a kindergarten classroom." Or: "I want my child to be near the top rather than near the bottom." Both are real reasons. Only one is supported by the evidence. SOURCES NWEA, March 2026. Analysis of MAP Growth K-2 data from more than 3 million kindergartners, fall 2017 to 2025, following the 2021-22 cohort through third grade. NWEA notes their sample comes from schools nationwide but may not be nationally representative. Bassok and Reardon, Educational Evaluation and Policy Analysis. Two nationally representative datasets on the prevalence and patterns of academic redshirting. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=9ixCz0O1qiJtLWp_ Montessori vs Traditional Preschool?: https://youtu.be/6GyIWp1pXas?si=OB2inzBXwk1Uh3vx I'm a podcast host, not an educator or a clinician. This is general information to help you ask better questions, not advice about your specific child. Decisions about school entry are best made with your child's preschool teacher and your school. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #kindergarten #redshirting #schoolreadiness #parenting #kindergartenreadiness #summerbirthday #education #preschool #parentingadvice #schoolchoice

    Should You Hold Your Child Back Before Kindergarten? What the Research Actually Says

  4. Sep 28

    Private School Applications: What You're Actually Up Against.

    Families pay admissions consultants thousands of dollars to get through this process. Most of what they're buying isn't secret. It just isn't explained to anyone who doesn't pay for it. Start with the part nobody tells you: when a school says it has thirty places in a grade, that is not thirty places available to you. Some are already committed to siblings of current families, to children of faculty and staff, and to legacy families. At the most competitive schools, a consultant describing that market put it plainly: a thousand applicants for fifty seats, many of which are already taken. So the ratio you calculate from the applicant number is not the ratio you're facing. This video covers how the seats actually get allocated, the one concept that explains the entire process and almost nobody names for parents, what a waitlist really means and what schools genuinely cannot tell you about it, who is actually in the room when your child's file is discussed, and the one question almost no parent asks after a rejection. CHAPTERS 00:00 The seats are not what you think 02:15 Yield: the word that explains everything 03:45 The waitlist, honestly 05:15 The money question nobody asks 06:15 Who is actually in the room 07:15 The question almost nobody asks after a no 08:15 What to do with all of this THE THREE QUESTIONS WORTH ASKING "How many places do you actually expect at this entry point, after siblings and faculty children?" "Is your admission need-blind or need-aware? And does that change for waitlist decisions?" And if your child is declined: "I'm not appealing, I'm trying to understand. What was the deciding factor?" All three are answerable. Almost nobody asks any of them. ON WAITLISTS A waitlist is not a ranked list. There is no number. Schools genuinely cannot tell you where your child sits, because when a place opens they look for who fits what the class now needs. A director of admissions and financial aid at one of the most selective schools in the country has described waitlists as students the school really thought would make a great impact, and said that with unlimited spaces they would have taken them immediately. That's also why strong applicants get waitlisted. Schools don't know their yield when they build the class in February, so they hold a list as insurance. It isn't a verdict on your child. RELATED Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched: https://youtu.be/98GON5zaEqs?si=MiOjl3irxdGK_P8D IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=dqYdY323-gLgzRQT I'm not an admissions consultant. This is general information drawn from what admissions directors and educational consultants say publicly about how the process works. Every school is different, so verify specifics with the schools on your list. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #privateschool #privateschooladmissions #schooladmissions #waitlist #parenting #independentschools #schoolchoice #admissions #privateschoolapplication #parentingtips

    Private School Applications: What You're Actually Up Against.

  5. Sep 21

    My Kid Won't Go to School: What's Actually Happening?

    It's 7:40 in the morning. Your child is on the floor, or in bed, or locked in the bathroom saying their stomach hurts. Again. You have twenty minutes to decide whether to push, or let them stay home. Here's what nobody tells you about that decision. Both options feel wrong because both options are wrong on their own. Letting them stay home works today and makes tomorrow harder. Forcing them in without understanding why can make the whole thing worse. So this video isn't about which to pick. It's about what's actually driving it, because the research is clear that the reason determines the response, and most parents are working without it. CHAPTERS 00:00 The 7:40 decision 00:50 It's not truancy, and the difference matters 02:00 How common, and when it becomes a real problem 02:50 The four reasons, and why the reason decides everything 04:10 The trap, and it isn't your fault 05:10 The stomachaches are real 06:00 What actually works, honestly 07:10 What to do this week THE TERM TO ASK FOR There's a questionnaire clinicians use called the School Refusal Assessment Scale, Revised. Twenty-four questions, answered by both parent and child, and it identifies which of four functions is driving the behavior. Ask for it by name. That one request will change the quality of the conversation you have with a professional. WHEN IT'S A REAL PROBLEM, NOT A BAD WEEK Researchers use concrete thresholds: Missing at least 25% of school time for two weeks or more. Or severe difficulty attending for two weeks with real disruption to family life. Or ten or more days absent in any fifteen-week period. If you're at or near any of those, this isn't a phase to wait out. THE THING TO KNOW ABOUT PROGRESS A review of eight trials found that psychosocial interventions significantly improved attendance but did not significantly reduce anxiety during the assessment period. Attendance improves before feelings do. So if your child goes back to school and still says they hate it, that isn't failure. That's the normal shape of progress, and knowing it in advance will stop you pulling back too early. RELATED Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=IyJMLubHEDTcn1hE I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This is general information to help parents understand what they're dealing with and ask better questions. It is not a treatment plan or medical advice about your child. School refusal is frequently connected to anxiety or depression and is best addressed with a qualified mental health professional. If you are worried about your child's safety, contact your pediatrician or a mental health professional the same day. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #schoolrefusal #schoolanxiety #parenting #childanxiety #schoolavoidance #anxiousChild #parentingtips #mentalhealth #backtoschool #parentingadvice

    My Kid Won't Go to School: What's Actually Happening?

  6. Sep 14

    What to Actually Ask at Your Parent-Teacher Conference

    There's a systematic review of research on parent-teacher conferences, and it found something that isn't in any of the "20 questions to ask" articles. The conference is not a neutral meeting between two equals. The teacher is the person in charge, the person positioned as the expert, and the person who controls what gets discussed and for how long. Parents try to reframe the story being told, and in the words of that review, not always with success. So the problem isn't that parents don't know what to ask. It's that they walk into a meeting where someone else sets the agenda, and then get twelve minutes. Here's how to work with that instead of against it. In this video: the email to send three days beforehand and why it changes everything, the filter to apply to every question you're considering, the five questions worth your minutes, the one almost nobody asks that can get your child help this month, and what to do if the teacher raises a concern. CHAPTERS 00:00 The conference is not a meeting between equals 01:00 The three minutes that change everything 02:15 The filter for every question 02:50 The five questions worth asking 04:00 The question almost nobody asks 05:00 If something is wrong 05:45 The five minutes afterward 06:30 One thing for older kids 07:00 What to do this week THE EMAIL TO SEND THREE DAYS BEFORE "Hi, looking forward to Thursday. Before we meet, two things that might be useful. At home, they've been taking about two hours on twenty minutes of homework and getting upset about it. And they've mentioned a few times that they don't have anyone to sit with at lunch. I'd love to hear what you're seeing on both. Thank you." It puts your information into the meeting before the teacher builds the agenda, and it gives them time to notice rather than answer cold. THE QUESTION ALMOST NOBODY ASKS "Can my child get accommodations in class without having an IEP or a 504 plan?" Often, yes. A teacher can move a seat, give extra processing time, break instructions into steps, or check in before independent work. None of that requires paperwork. It requires someone asking. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: https://youtu.be/_JQcuvdAlqM I'm a podcast host, not an educator. This is general information to help you use a short meeting well, not advice about your specific child or school. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #parentteacherconference #parenting #school #parentingtips #education #schoolyear #IEP #504plan #parentadvocacy #backtoschool

    What to Actually Ask at Your Parent-Teacher Conference

  7. Sep 7

    Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: What the Research Actually Shows

    A child who disrupts a classroom gets attention within a week. A child who is quietly drowning can go years before anyone asks a single question. Here are two numbers that show it. In community studies, where researchers screen whole populations rather than waiting for someone to raise a hand, boys outnumber girls with ADHD by roughly three to one. In clinics, among children actually referred for assessment, that ratio runs from about five to one up to sixteen to one. Same condition. The gap between those numbers isn't biology. It's who gets noticed. In this video I go through why the diagnostic criteria were built around boys, what a 2021 study found about where girls end up instead of an ADHD assessment, why the standard teacher rating scales miss quiet girls almost by design, and what to actually say when you request an evaluation. CHAPTERS 00:00 Two numbers that explain everything 00:45 A real disclaimer 01:15 The criteria were built around boys 02:30 Where girls end up instead 03:55 What it actually looks like 05:00 Why the standard screening misses her 05:55 The number that convinced me 06:30 What to actually do THE THING TO SAY DIFFERENTLY Describe effort, not outcomes. Don't say "she's doing fine in school." Say "she's doing fine, it takes her three hours a night, and she falls apart on Sundays." The second one is the information a clinician actually needs. SOURCES Klefsjö et al., 2021, Nordic Journal of Psychiatry, on the road to diagnosis in girls and boys with ADHD. Skoglund et al., 2024, Swedish population register study on sex differences in ADHD presentation and referral. Mowlem et al., on sex differences in referral thresholds and the role of disruptive behavior in diagnosis. Bassok, Hinshaw, and others on prevalence patterns in childhood and adulthood. DSM-IV to DSM-5 reclassification of ADHD from Disruptive Behavior Disorders to Neurodevelopmental Disorders, 2013. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need?: https://youtu.be/8ne_ceRBrms?si=GM3NFuhYyRKtUOV_ I'm a podcast host, not a clinician. This video is general information to help parents ask better questions. It is not a diagnostic tool and it is not medical advice about your child. ADHD is diagnosed by qualified professionals using multiple sources of information over time. If you're concerned, speak to your pediatrician, your child's school, or a licensed psychologist. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #ADHD #ADHDinGirls #ADHDawareness #parenting #neurodiversity #inattentiveADHD #girlswithADHD #ADHDdiagnosis #parentingdaughters #mentalhealth

    Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls: What the Research Actually Shows

  8. Aug 31

    Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched

    Dates shown are for the 2027-28 admissions cycle. Always verify on each school's own site before you rely on them. I looked at two of the most prestigious private schools in this region. Sidwell Friends in DC and Gilman in Baltimore. They're an hour apart. Almost nothing about their application processes matched. Different deadlines. Different testing. One considers the ISEE. The other currently doesn't accept it at all. One tells you not to send teacher recommendation forms before November 1st. One has the application due in December but recommendations not until January, which catches people out every year. If you assume private school applications work the same way everywhere, that assumption is going to cost you money, or a Saturday, or a spot. This video walks through the whole process: which test your child actually needs by grade, why the teacher recommendation sinks more applications than anything else, how financial aid runs on its own separate track, and the questions to ask on a tour that most parents never think of. CHAPTERS 00:00 Two schools, an hour apart, nothing in common 01:00 They're building a class, not ranking your child 01:45 Which test your child needs, by grade 04:00 The recommendation problem, and a contradiction worth understanding 05:30 A real timeline, month by month 07:00 Financial aid, need-blind vs need-aware, and the real cost 08:30 The parent statement, the interview, and the child's visit 09:30 Four questions to ask on the tour 10:30 The mistakes, and two things to do today THE THING THAT SINKS THE MOST APPLICATIONS No school reviews your file until it's complete. Not mostly complete. Complete. If one teacher recommendation hasn't arrived, your application isn't late in a forgiving way. It isn't being read. And the recommendation is the one piece entirely outside your control. Tell the teacher in September, even if you won't send the form until November. Give them one email with every school, every deadline, and every link. Then two weeks before the deadline, confirm with the receiving school that it arrived. Not with the teacher. The school. TWO THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK 1. Email your child's teachers and give them a heads up that forms are coming. 2. Pull up the admissions page for every school on your list. Not a ranking site. The school's own page. The dates change annually and they do not match each other. RELATED IEP vs 504: Which One Does Your Child Actually Need? LINK I'm not an admissions consultant. I'm a parent who read every one of these schools' own admissions pages and wrote down what I found. Requirements and dates change every year, so verify before you rely on anything here. New video every week on the decisions parents actually have to make. Subscribe if you're making these calls right now. #privateschool #privateschooladmissions #ISEE #SSAT #schooladmissions #parenting #independentschools #financialaid #schoolchoice #admissions

    Private School Applications: I Compared Two Top Schools and Nothing Matched
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Choosing a school, navigating special education, deciding when to start kindergarten. These are some of the highest-stakes decisions parents make, and most of us make them with bad information and not enough time. This playlist collects every conversation I've had on those decisions. Public vs private schools and what the data actually shows. Montessori vs traditional preschool. Whether to hold your child back before kindergarten. IEPs, 504 plans, and how to get the support your child is entitled to. Homeschooling legally. What really matters for college admissions. Each one is built around a single question, with educators, school psychologists, special education advocates, and parents who've already been through it. New videos added every week.

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