The Gen Mess with Tess

Tess Brigham
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Are generational divides in the workplace and in life driving you crazy? The Gen Mess with Tess is here to help! Hosted by Tess Brigham—certified coach, licensed therapist, TEDx speaker, author, and mom to a Gen Zer—this podcast tackles the challenges and complexities of navigating life and work across multiple generations. From the unique struggles of Gen Z to the evolving perspectives of Millennials, Gen X, and Baby Boomers, Tess brings her expertise to the table, offering practical advice, expert insights, and real conversations to bridge the generational gap. Whether you're trying to communicate better with colleagues, understand your kids, or just get a clearer perspective on the "mess" of it all, The Gen Mess with Tess is your go-to resource for understanding how different generations think, work, and live. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. Ep 62: From Baby Boomers to Gen Z - The Workplace Pattern That Never Changes with Meagan Johnson

    6d ago

    Ep 62: From Baby Boomers to Gen Z - The Workplace Pattern That Never Changes with Meagan Johnson

    Never before have so many generations shared a workplace at the same time. And never before has the opportunity for both collaboration and conflict been this high. This week, Tess sits down with Meagan Johnson, generational keynote speaker and co-author of the bestselling book Generations, Inc.: Managing the Friction Between Generations at Work, written with her father Larry Johnson. Meagan has spent over 30 years helping organizations from Harley-Davidson to Boeing to the CIA navigate the very conflicts most leaders are still trying to figure out. The conversation covers every generation in the workforce right now, what leaders keep getting wrong about each one, why the same story keeps repeating, and where we might actually be headed. In this episode: The single biggest myth about Baby Boomers and technologyWhy Gen X deserves far more credit than it gets, including being the original remote work pioneersWhat Millennial managers are actually getting right that nobody is talking aboutWhy Gen Z is not just a younger Millennial (and why that assumption creates real problems)The corporate ladder versus the corporate lattice, and why Gen Z plays by entirely different rulesThe root of almost every generational conflict at workThe seat belt analogy: what Meagan tells resistant managers who refuse to adaptWhy Gen Z's approach to mental health at work may become the new standard, just like mentorship didWhere five generations, AI, and a changing economy are taking the workplace next Find Meagan at meaganjohnson.com. Generations, Inc. is available now. Meagan's podcast launches this summer. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS00:00: Welcome and Meagan Johnson introduction 01:15: How Meagan became a generational speaker, starting at Quaker Oats in 1993 03:40: The story that repeats every generation: why 20-somethings have always been "too difficult" 05:45: How the work evolved from Gen X-focused to covering all five generations 07:00: Writing Generations, Inc. with her father, and planning a wedding at the same time 09:10: The biggest myth about Baby Boomers and technology 11:10: Gen X: the forgotten generation that pioneered working from home 13:00: Millennial managers: turning into exactly what was said about them 15:10: What Millennials got right that previous generations missed: championing mentorship 17:30: The most common Gen Z misconception (hint: they are not just a younger Millennial) 19:00: Gen Z as true digital natives: no dial-up, no cursive, no idea how to sign a lease 21:00: AI in the workplace and why blocking it is exactly like blocking Facebook in 2008 23:30: The root of almost every generational conflict: "when I was that age..." 26:00: Technical skills versus personal skills: what has changed with new graduates 28:30: Why managers resist giving the next generation advantages they never had 30:00: The questions every manager should be asking about their own expectations 32:00: The seat belt analogy for resistant leaders: new information, better results 34:00: The Gen Z office myth: they do want to come in, just with the option not to 35:30: Gen Z sees Zoom as face-to-face contact (and why that matters) 37:00: Corporate ladder versus corporate lattice: the Gen Z employee who called the CEO for lunch 39:30: Why we dim Gen Z's lights when they are just trying to figure it out 40:30: Where we are headed: five generations, AI, and the future of the workplace 43:00: Mental health at work becoming the new standard, just like mentorship did 44:30: Emotional intelligence as the new baseline requirement for leadership 46:00: Where to find Meagan and her upcoming podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    45 min
  2. Ep 61: How to Build Self Trust to Break Toxic Patterns in the Workplace

    May 20

    Ep 61: How to Build Self Trust to Break Toxic Patterns in the Workplace

    Last episode, Tess told you why the toxic workplace pattern repeats, and identified each of the patterns: avoidance, disconnection, and measuring the environment instead of looking inward. This follow up episode provide 3 exercises to disrupt those patterns. These exercises are designed to go to the root of where you actually get stuck. If you haven't listened to Episode 60 yet, start there first. This episode will make a lot more sense once you've identified which pattern is yours. In this episode: Why avoidance is an anxiety problem, not a communication problem, and why that distinction changes everythingStephen Hayes's avoidance trap from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: why avoidance works in the short term and costs you everything long termThe exposure therapy approach that actually rewires the pattern, starting with one small moment this weekWhy disconnection from your own feelings is a survival strategy, not a character flawAntonio Damasio's research on how the body sends signals your brain needs to hear, and how to start listening againThe one question to ask yourself at the end of each day that rebuilds your internal compassWhy most people measure opportunities by the wrong things not because they weren't taught better, but because the right questions are scarier to answerKristin Neff's research on self-compassion and the fear of honest self-assessmentThree questions to ask before your next interview, your next career decision, or your current job right now Researcher credits: Stephen Hayes, developer of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) Antonio Damasio, neuroscientist, research on somatic signals and decision-making Kristin Neff, self-compassion researcher, University of Texas Austin Follow The Gen Mess with Tess for weekly episodes. Visit tessbrigham.com to learn more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    15 min
  3. Ep 60: How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Toxic Workplace Patterns

    May 13

    Ep 60: How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Toxic Workplace Patterns

    You left. You reflected. You did the work. You asked better questions, watched for red flags, and turned down offers that didn't feel right. And then six months into the new job, the same feeling came back. This isn't bad luck. And it isn't a failure of effort. It's psychology. In Part 1 of this two-part series, licensed therapist and certified coach, Tess Brigham, breaks down the real reason so many people, especially Gen Z workers entering or re-entering the workforce, end up repeating the same patterns at work even when they're actively trying to avoid it. The answer is uncomfortable but important: most people do a thorough post-mortem on the wrong thing. They autopsy the job. They never examine themselves. In this episode: How to identify a toxic workplaceWhy leaving a toxic workplace and doing all the right things still isn't enoughThe three patterns that follow people from one difficult job to the next: avoidance, disconnection, and measuring the wrong thingsWhat years inside a difficult work environment does to your beliefs about yourself, and how those beliefs travel with youWhy salary, title, and company reputation are the wrong filters for evaluating a new opportunityThe questions that actually predict whether you'll thrive somewhere, and why no one ever taught you to ask themAmy Edmondson's research on psychological safety, and why it's the most important thing almost no organization measuresWhy Gen Z's willingness to say "this doesn't feel right" isn't a weakness. It's the question every generation should have been asking. Researcher credit: Amy Edmondson, Harvard Business School, psychological safety research CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS00:00: Opening story: the client who did everything right and still ended up back in the same place 01:40: The hard truth: she solved the right problem the wrong way 02:00: You autopsied the job. The job isn't what repeated. You repeated. 02:25: The three patterns that follow people from one workplace to the next 02:35: Pattern 1: Avoidance and what making yourself smaller to survive actually costs you 03:30: How avoidance rewrites your beliefs about whether it's safe to speak up 04:10: Pattern 2: Disconnection and losing touch with how you actually feel at work 04:35: Pattern 3: Measuring the wrong things, salary, title, and the cold brew on tap 05:15: The questions that actually predict whether you'll thrive somewhere 05:40: Why most people were never taught those questions were valid to ask 06:00: Amy Edmondson's research on psychological safety and why organizations don't teach it 06:55: Gen Z is not the problem. They're the first ones saying what everyone should have been asking. 07:45: What to ask yourself if you've repeated the pattern 08:30: The bottom line: you were handed the wrong checklist 09:00: Preview of Episode 61: three exercises that go to the root of each pattern Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    11 min
  4. Ep 59: What to Do When You've Done Everything Right But Still Feel Off with Malaika Smyth

    May 6

    Ep 59: What to Do When You've Done Everything Right But Still Feel Off with Malaika Smyth

    You did everything right. The school, the job, the hustle. You followed the path, and you're good at it! So why does it still feel like something's missing? This week, Tess sits down with Malaika Smyth, a coach for high achievers who have checked every box and still find themselves asking a surprisingly hard question: what do I actually want for myself? Malaika brings a rare combination of experience as a Division I athlete background, nearly eight years scaling coaching operations at BetterUp from 50 to over 3,500 coaches, and her own winding path through quarter-life crisis, identity shifts, and a gift box business detour. She helps people build success that actually feels like theirs. This conversation goes deep on the psychology of high achievement, what Silicon Valley's performance culture does to young people, and why so many accomplished professionals have never once stopped to ask what they actually want. In this episode: Why high achievers often tie their entire self-worth to how hard they workThe Silicon Valley "duck effect" — calm on the surface, paddling furiously underneathWhat a Gen Z employee taught Malaika about a kind of career maturity she'd never seen beforeWhy age doesn't automatically equal wisdom — and what actually doesThe sunk cost trap that keeps high achievers stuck on the wrong pathWhat every client ultimately wants at their core (it's always the same thing)The 75-year-old exercise that cuts through all the noise and gets to what actually mattersWhere AI fits in the future of coaching — and where it absolutely doesn't To connect with Malaika Smyth, visit malaikasmyth.com or find her on LinkedIn. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Welcome & Malaika Smyth introduction 01:20 — When Malaika first questioned whether being a high achiever was actually working for her 02:43 — Where the drive came from — internal wiring or outside pressure? 04:10 — Growing up in Silicon Valley: the unspoken assumption that you had to do something "big" 07:00 — The duck metaphor: calm on the surface, paddling furiously underneath 08:40 — College as non-negotiable — and how environment sets a path without anyone saying a word 09:50 — Graduating in 2014: a Bay Area overflowing with opportunity and equity dreams 11:00 — Following her brother into product management — and realizing it wasn't right 11:40 — Quarter-life crisis at year two: the moment she knew something had to change 12:40 — Designing Your Life — the book that opened a new door 13:50 — Joining BetterUp and discovering what coaching actually was 14:55 — The question Malaika asks clients who are rewarded for hustle 16:00 — "My only value is that I work hard" — and why coaching helped her see beyond it 17:00 — The decision to leave BetterUp and what came next 18:30 — The gift box business detour — and the important lesson it taught 20:25 — The sunk cost trap: why people stay on the wrong path long after they know better 23:40 — Selling yourself vs. selling a product: the vulnerability of a coaching business 24:35 — "I don't really care if you work with me. I care that you work on yourself." 28:45 — The power of silence — and celebration — in a coaching session 32:00 — Learning to trust your instincts and why being wrong can still be useful 37:30 — What every client ultimately wants at their core 39:50 — Managing both younger and older employees at BetterUp 41:10 — The Gen Z employee who floored Malaika with an unexpected kind of maturity 43:00 — Age does not equal wisdom — a lesson that changed how Malaika leads 46:45 — "I've been talking to ChatGPT all morning and I need to talk to a human" 48:00 — Tess on AI: the real hope, the real fear, and what's actually at stake 54:15 — The first question to ask when you've done everything right and it still feels off 55:00 — The 75-year-old exercise: what do you want your life to have been about? 57:00 — How to connect with Malaika + closing thoughts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    59 min
  5. Ep 58: How to Give Gen Z Employees Feedback That Actually Lands

    Apr 29

    Ep 58: How to Give Gen Z Employees Feedback That Actually Lands

    You gave the feedback carefully. You were constructive. You even thought through every word. And they still shut down. If you're a manager or HR leader wondering why feedback conversations keep going sideways, this episode is the one you've been waiting for. Tess Brigham breaks down the neuroscience of why feedback feels like a threat, why Gen Z is particularly activated by it (hint: it makes complete psychological sense), and why the feedback models most leaders were trained on were built for a different era. You'll walk away with a completely different understanding of what's happening in that room and three concrete shifts you can make starting with your very next conversation. In this episode:Why the brain experiences feedback as a social threat, and what that means for your employeesDavid Rock's SCARF model and the five psychological domains a single feedback conversation can trigger simultaneouslyWhy Gen Z carries a higher baseline of anxiety into these conversations than any previous generation, and why that's not the same as being fragileThe critical difference between feedback landing as information versus landing as a verdictWhy technically correct feedback still fails when the environment isn't psychologically safeThree shifts to make right now: establishing safety first, separating behavior from identity, and giving space to processThe fourth shift most managers skip, and why it changes everythingCHAPTER TIMESTAMPS00:00 — The feedback conversation that went sideways — and the question every manager has 01:00 — "Can't they just take feedback like an adult?" — naming what nobody says out loud 01:45 — The neuroscience: why feedback is a threat, not just information 02:27 — The SCARF model: the five domains your brain monitors for safety 03:30 — What a single feedback conversation triggers simultaneously in the brain 04:45 — Why this hits Gen Z harder — and why it's not about fragility 05:30 — How social media turned their adolescence into a constant performance evaluation 06:15 — Graduating into a pandemic: what Gen Z never got from their first jobs 07:00 — When criticism lands as a verdict, not information 07:45 — A real client story: the five-minute feedback that caused four days of dread 09:00 — Why the old feedback playbook is quietly breaking down 09:28 — The broken assumptions behind the feedback sandwich and annual reviews 11:00 — Three shifts to make starting with your next conversation 11:15 — Shift 1: Establish safety before you say anything critical 13:00 — Shift 2: Separate behavior from identity — out loud, every single time 14:30 — Shift 3: Give them time and space to process before expecting a response 16:20 — Why "closing" a feedback conversation is the wrong instinct 17:30 — The fourth shift: check your own nervous system before you walk in 19:00 — Why walking in frustrated defeats the entire conversation 20:00 — The bottom line: what managers who are getting this right actually understand 21:00 — Free resources: the Gen Z Playbook + related episodes Download Tess's free Gen Z Playbook at TessBrigham.com. Related episodes:Episode 52 (Why Gen Z Keeps Asking Questions at Work) Episode 47 (The Manager Effect | Why Your Boss Impacts Your Mental Health More Than You Think with Ashley Herd) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  6. Ep 57: AI in the Workplace - Will AI Replace Jobs? with Erin Turnmeyer

    Apr 22

    Ep 57: AI in the Workplace - Will AI Replace Jobs? with Erin Turnmeyer

    Is AI really replacing jobs, or are we misunderstanding AI's role at work? In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham sits down with People Operations executive Erin Turnmeyer to break down what leaders, employees, and organizations are getting wrong about AI in the workplace. With 15+ years of experience building talent systems, including time at the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, Erin brings a data-driven perspective on how AI, automation, and analytics are reshaping work. 💡 In this episode, we cover: Why AI is a force multiplier, not a replacementThe real reason companies are making AI-related layoffsWhat tasks should (and should NOT) be automatedHow to use AI without losing the human element at workWhy resume screening with AI can backfirePractical ways to start using AI without feeling overwhelmedHow early-career professionals can stand out in an AI-driven world If you’ve been feeling anxious, confused, or curious about AI, this conversation will help you rethink what’s actually happening—and how to adapt without fear. Whether you’re a leader, job seeker, or just trying to keep up with the future of work, this episode will give you clarity and practical takeaways. Timestamps00:00 – Intro: “Fixing the mess vs living in it” 00:42 – Meet Erin Turnmeyer (People Ops + AI perspective) 01:05 – From chem bio weapons analyst → HR leader 03:10 – What people get wrong about AI at work 04:00 – “AI is a force multiplier, not a replacement” 05:00 – Fear-based headlines & why they’re misleading 06:00 – Why fear blocks people from learning AI 07:30 – How companies fail at AI adoption 08:15 – Real example: teaching AI internally at work 09:30 – What AI should NOT replace (human touchpoints) 10:30 – What to automate vs keep human 11:10 – Why AI resume screening is flawed 13:00 – Smart ways to use AI in recruiting (without bias) 15:00 – Removing “administrative weight” from work 16:00 – Will AI lead to layoffs—or growth? 17:00 – The real opportunity: 20% more strategic thinking 18:10 – Why companies must allow time to learn AI 19:20 – Advice for early-career professionals 20:00 – Using AI as a daily learning coach 21:30 – Don’t outsource your thinking 23:00 – Could AI finally deliver work-life balance? 24:00 – The 4-day workweek conversation 25:00 – Real-world AI use cases (healthcare, systems, etc.) 26:00 – What happens to jobs AI can fully replace? 27:00 – What actually gets someone hired today 28:00 – Why AI-generated resumes are hurting candidates 30:00 – How to use AI correctly for resumes 32:00 – Training AI to sound like you 34:00 – Spotting AI-generated applications instantly 35:00 – How young professionals can “train” AI on themselves 37:00 – Using AI as a thinking partner (not a cheerleader) 38:00 – Trust but verify: why sources matter 40:00 – First step: how to start using AI today 41:00 – Unexpected tip: use AI for shopping decisions 43:00 – Final thoughts + where to find Erin Connect with Tess at tessbrigham.com Subscribe to Erin's Substack, AI for Human Operators, at hrai.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    45 min
  7. Ep 56: Why Work Feels So Personal (Part 2) Early Career Stress: What Young Professionals Are Really Experiencing

    Apr 15

    Ep 56: Why Work Feels So Personal (Part 2) Early Career Stress: What Young Professionals Are Really Experiencing

    No one really warns you how psychologically hard early career can be. You learn how to write a resume, interview, and get hired, but almost no one explains what it feels like once you’re inside the workplace. You're being evaluated constantly, questioning yourself, guessing the rules, and trying to build confidence without experience. In this episode of The Gen Mess with Tess, Tess Brigham explains why the beginning of your career can feel so mentally intense, and why that experience is often misunderstood. She breaks down the psychological weight of uncertainty, self-doubt, comparison, unclear expectations, and why many young professionals incorrectly assume they are the problem when they are often responding normally to a demanding environment. Tess also addresses something leaders need to hear clearly: being early career does not mean someone should tolerate unhealthy behavior, poor emotional regulation, or unclear leadership. This is Part 2 of Tess’s solo series on the psychology of work and why younger employees need more clarity, not more criticism. Chapter Timestamps00:00 Why early career hits harder than expected01:05 Learning who you are while being evaluated02:20 Why young professionals internalize stress03:05 High expectations, low control, constant comparison04:20 Why unclear environments create self-doubt04:50 What young employees should never normalize05:30 Why yelling at work should not be accepted06:15 Discomfort vs unhealthy environments06:50 How to separate mistakes from identity07:40 What leaders owe early-career employees  Be sure to subscribe so you never miss a weekly episode. To learn more, or to Shop available resources, visit tessbrigham.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    10 min
  8. Ep 55: 3 Ways to Take Back Your Morning Routine with Movement, Mindfulness, and Mastery with Amy Landino

    Apr 8

    Ep 55: 3 Ways to Take Back Your Morning Routine with Movement, Mindfulness, and Mastery with Amy Landino

    Think you're not a morning person? Think again. This week, Tess sits down with Amy Landino, bestselling author, content creator, and founder of Vlog Boss Studios. Together, they blow up everything you think you know about morning routines, productivity, and what it actually means to start your day on your own terms. Amy's newly expanded book, Good Morning, Good Life, isn't about waking up at 5am or turning your morning into an Instagram aesthetic. It's about reclaiming ownership of your day before the world gets a vote, and her simple three-bucket framework (Movement, Mindfulness, and Mastery) makes that possible for anyone, in any season of life. Tess and Amy also get into the messy generational stuff: why Millennials were conditioned to believe "work harder" was always the answer, why a six-figure business might actually be the wrong goal, and the moment Amy told her dad she'd already made $90K that year and watched him go completely speechless. In this episode: Why your morning routine is probably built around someone else's agendaThe key difference between starting your day "on offense" vs. "on defense"Amy's three-bucket framework: Movement, Mindfulness & Mastery explained simplyThe real reason you're "not a morning person" (it's not what you think)Why a six-figure business might be the worst goal you're chasing right nowThe Millennial financial reality: student loans, a broken housing market, and boomer advice that no longer appliesHow self-compassion and accountability actually work together, not against each otherAmy Landino's book Good Morning, Good Life is available now. DM Amy on Instagram @AmyLandino the word "Tess" to receive her free Extraordinary Action Framework. CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS00:00 — Welcome & Amy Landino introduction 01:00 — Amy's origin story: moving out at 18 and the "there's gotta be a better way" mindset 04:00 — The wedding video that started everything — and how YouTube changed her life 07:00 — What people get wrong about morning routines (hint: Instagram flex culture) 09:30 — Checking email vs. checking your goals: offense vs. defense 12:00 — Why you apologize for not replying fast enough — and why you need to stop 13:15 — Is Good Morning, Good Life the Gen Z version of Miracle Morning? Tess makes the case 16:45 — The three-bucket framework: Movement, Mindfulness & Mastery 19:20 — Tess's morning confession: sitting with her dogs, and finally giving herself permission 21:00 — "I'm not a morning person" — the #1 objection, completely reframed 24:00 — "But I have kids" — excuse #2, and Amy's surprisingly honest answer 28:45 — The Extraordinary Action Framework: DM Amy on Instagram to get it free 29:20 — Self-compassion + accountability: why they're not opposites 33:45 — Screw "realistic" — why shooting for the unrealistic actually makes sense 34:45 — Hot take: Why Amy tells clients with six-figure businesses to just go get a job 40:00 — Generational spotlight: Millennials as the internet's guinea pigs 42:30 — Student loans, the housing market, and what Millennials actually inherited 47:20 — Boomer advice vs. Millennial reality — a tension that's very, very real 48:00 — The $90K moment: Amy's dad, and why the people who love you don't always know what's possible for you SUBSCRIBE to The Gen Mess with Tess podcast for weekly insights on workplace culture, generational challenges, and relationship advice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    52 min
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About

Are generational divides in the workplace and in life driving you crazy? The Gen Mess with Tess is here to help! Hosted by Tess Brigham—certified coach, licensed therapist, TEDx speaker, author, and mom to a Gen Zer—this podcast tackles the challenges and complexities of navigating life and work across multiple generations. From the unique struggles of Gen Z to the evolving perspectives of Millennials, Gen X, and Baby Boomers, Tess brings her expertise to the table, offering practical advice, expert insights, and real conversations to bridge the generational gap. Whether you're trying to communicate better with colleagues, understand your kids, or just get a clearer perspective on the "mess" of it all, The Gen Mess with Tess is your go-to resource for understanding how different generations think, work, and live. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Tess Brigham
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    63
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Tess Brigham
  • Show Website
    The Gen Mess with Tess

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