Your Traitor Within

Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW

Jessica Anne Pressler LCSW came up with the concept Traitor Within to give people a tangible and workable tool that help identify and overcome their repetitive self-sabotaging behavior. Her hope is that once a person gains insight into their Traitor Within, then they can begin to silence their traitor, thus empowering themselves and begin to heal. “Your Traitor Within” will feature conversations and stories about toxicity, healing, empowerment, and more. Www.jessicaannepressler.com @jessicaannepressler

  1. 5d ago

    Your Traitor Within: You Can’t Think Your Way Out of a Trauma Bond with Kendall Brown

    Why can you fully understand that a relationship is harming you and still feel unable to leave? Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, is joined by Kendall Brown, a certified Women’s Somatic Trauma & Relationship Coach and creator of The Secure Woman Era. After nearly a decade in back-to-back relationships with avoidant, emotionally abusive, and narcissistic men, Kendall began examining the childhood wounds and protective patterns that kept drawing her back into the same relationship cycle. Kendall explains her approach to somatic shadow work, which combines an exploration of the rejected or hidden parts of the self with body-based and nervous-system work. She and Jessica discuss why insight alone may not break a trauma bond. You can understand the relationship intellectually, recognize every red flag, and still experience an intense physical pull toward the person who hurt you. They connect this experience to the Traitor Within: the protective part formed in childhood that once helped you maintain safety, love, or connection. The child who became the fixer, good girl, peacekeeper, high achiever, or emotional caretaker may become an adult who ignores mistreatment, manages a partner’s emotions, and mistakes self-abandonment for love.  Jessica and Kendall also discuss the importance of becoming securely single, learning to recognize anger as useful information, grieving the relationship and future you believed you were going to have, and building support that understands why leaving a trauma bond is different from recovering from an ordinary breakup. In this episode:  Why familiar relationship dynamics can feel like chemistry  The difference between self-sabotage and outdated self-protection  How abandonment wounds can lead you to abandon yourself  Why fixers and deeply empathic people may stay focused on someone’s potential  How trauma bonds can continue in the body after the relationship ends  Why anger can alert you that a boundary has been crossed  The value of professional support, community, and trusted friends during recovery  What it means to become securely single before dating again  How to build a life that a relationship must add to rather than complete  The question that can clarify whether you are loving someone or waiting for them to change Jessica and Kendall leave listeners with an important question: If your partner and the relationship never changed, would you be happy living exactly this way for the rest of your life? About Kendall Brown Kendall Brown is a certified Women’s Somatic Trauma & Relationship Coach and the creator of The Secure Woman Era. Drawing from her own experience healing anxious attachment, leaving a trauma bond, and breaking a cycle of toxic relationships, Kendall now helps women heal their relationship patterns, become secure within themselves, and pursue healthy, emotionally available love. Follow Kendall on Instagram:  @kendallbrowncoaching  https://www.instagram.com/kendallbrowncoaching/ Learn more about The Secure Woman Era Mastermind:  https://secure-woman-era.kendallbrownwellness.com/ Content note: This conversation includes discussion of emotional and narcissistic abuse, infidelity, trauma bonds, divorce, grief, and suicidal ideation. Please listen with care and seek qualified professional or emergency support when needed. Support the show

  2. Jul 15

    Your Traitor Within: Starting Over After Narcissistic Abuse with Liz Spicer

    In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Liz Spicer, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, a certified functional medicine practitioner, and a trauma-informed coach who helps women rebuild their lives after emotionally abusive relationships. Liz spent twenty years in a marriage marked by emotional abuse before leaving at age fifty and beginning the difficult process of rediscovering herself. Together, Jessica and Liz explore the grief that follows leaving a long-term relationship, why healing often begins only after the relationship ends, and how the "Traitor Within" can keep survivors questioning themselves long after they've escaped the abuse. The conversation examines the profound grief that accompanies divorce later in life. Jessica and Liz discuss mourning the future you imagined, the years you invested, your sense of identity, your changing body, your sexuality, and the version of yourself that slowly disappeared inside the relationship. They explain why grief is not a sign that leaving was the wrong decision—it is part of healing. Liz courageously shares her own story of childhood sexual abuse, growing up feeling unseen, entering a marriage that repeated familiar emotional patterns, and eventually recognizing that what she believed was love was actually emotional abuse. Jessica and Liz discuss trauma bonds, love bombing, radical acceptance, cognitive dissonance, and the difficult realization that healing requires understanding both the narcissist and the parts of ourselves that kept us there. They also explore what happens after leaving. Many survivors believe freedom should feel immediate, yet Liz explains that this is often when grief truly begins. Jessica emphasizes that healing is not simply understanding what happened to you—it is understanding why it felt familiar, why your Traitor Within protected the relationship, and how to build a life that no longer requires self-abandonment. The episode also addresses parenting, breaking intergenerational trauma, rebuilding confidence after years of emotional abuse, nervous system healing, journaling, functional medicine, and learning to trust yourself again. This conversation is a reminder that leaving is not the end of the journey. It is often where healing finally begins. About Liz Spicer: Liz Spicer holds degrees in Biology, Forensic Science, and Nursing Practice and is a certified functional medicine practitioner, certified RCT coach, and certified trauma-informed coach. After surviving a twenty-year emotionally abusive marriage, she now helps midlife women navigate the confusion, grief, and identity shifts that follow leaving long-term relationships. Her work combines medical knowledge, trauma education, nervous system healing, and lived experience to help women recognize that they are not broken—they are rebuilding. Connect with Liz Spicer: Instagram: @midlifehealingjourney Website: www.midlifehealingjourney.com Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaAnnePressler Support the show

  3. Jul 9

    Your Traitor Within: You Are Not Crazy with Kiki Mullican

    In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Kiki Mullican, a certified neuroscience coach with an undergraduate degree in psychology and more than 20 years of experience in mental health, human services, suicide prevention, case management, and community support. Kiki’s work focuses on childhood conditioning, toxic family systems, scapegoating, trauma patterns, and the ways early experiences shape adult relationships, identity, and survival strategies. Kiki shares how her fascination with psychology began as a child in the library, reading books she hoped would help her understand and fix the painful dynamics inside her family. She and Jessica discuss what happens when a child becomes the one trying to save everyone, why knowledge alone cannot change people who are not ready to change, and how family systems can turn the person naming the dysfunction into the problem. Together, Jessica and Kiki explore scapegoating, parentification, addiction, toxic family roles, chronic illness, agoraphobia, OCD, trauma bonds, cognitive dissonance, and the long process of learning that survival patterns are not personality flaws. Kiki speaks openly about growing up in a frightening family system, becoming the family scapegoat, trying to “fix” her mother, and later recognizing how familiar patterns continued to show up in relationships, health, self-perception, and her ability to feel safe in the world. The conversation also goes deeply into agoraphobia and the misconceptions around what it actually looks like. Kiki explains that for her, agoraphobia is not simply a fear of leaving the house. It is often a fear of people, judgment, being watched, being misunderstood, and being attacked for visible and invisible limitations. She shares how healing has happened through tiny exposures, setbacks, support, and learning to celebrate progress even when it does not look perfect from the outside. Jessica and Kiki also discuss suicide prevention, the importance of small moments of human connection, and why hearing “you are not crazy, you are not alone, and it really did happen” can become one of the first steps toward healing. Kiki’s current work through The Trauma Drama Mama helps people recognize trauma patterns, understand toxic family systems, and find language for experiences they may have spent years believing were only happening to them. This episode is for anyone who grew up feeling like the problem, spent years trying to earn love or fix a family system, or is learning now that self-awareness is only the beginning. Healing also requires support, community, repetition, and the courage to keep going even when it feels impossible. About Kiki Mullican: Kiki Mullican has an undergraduate degree in psychology and more than 20 years of experience working in mental health, human services, and community support roles. Her background includes work as a counselor, case manager, suicide prevention instructor, and volunteer VP of Operations for a Baltimore-based nonprofit serving individuals experiencing homelessness, addiction, and re-entry challenges after incarceration. She is also a certified neuroscience coach and a proud U.S. Army veteran. Her work bridges psychology concepts with lived experience, making complex emotional dynamics accessible and understandable for everyday people. Connect with Kiki Mullican: Instagram, Threads, and TikTok: @the.trauma.drama.mama Facebook: Facebook.com/thetraumadramamama Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaAnnePressler If this episode brings up thoughts of suicide or immediate safety concerns, call or text 988 in the U.S. for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support the show

  4. Jul 1

    Your Traitor Within: Choosing Purpose Over Pain with Dr. Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso

    In this deeply moving episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with psychologist, author, speaker, and podcast host Dr. Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso for a conversation about unimaginable loss, trauma, resilience, people-pleasing, grief, and discovering purpose after adversity. At just nineteen years old, Dr. Louise survived a devastating house fire that claimed the lives of five family members, including three of her younger sisters. She sustained third-degree burns over more than 70 percent of her body, underwent countless surgeries, and experienced limb amputations. Faced with overwhelming physical and emotional trauma, she made a life-changing decision: she would not allow tragedy to define the rest of her life. Together, Jessica and Dr. Louise discuss survivor's guilt, grief, body image after trauma, resilience, cognitive reframing, mindfulness, and the emotional work required to move from surviving to truly living. The conversation also explores the Traitor Within through the lens of people-pleasing, boundary-setting, and self-worth. Dr. Louise shares how losing her husband to COVID became another turning point in her healing journey, forcing her to stop abandoning her own needs in order to meet everyone else's expectations. This episode is a reminder that healing does not erase pain. It transforms our relationship with it. About Dr. Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso: Dr. Louise Beaubrun-Macaluso is a psychologist, author, speaker, and podcast host. After surviving a near-fatal house fire that profoundly changed her life, she dedicated her career to helping others navigate trauma, grief, resilience, emotional healing, and personal transformation. Through her private practice, speaking engagements, and writing, she empowers others to move beyond survival and create lives filled with purpose. Connect with Dr. Louise: Website: www.brokentobeblessed.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/loulouse08/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/me?trk=p_mwlite_feed-secondary_nav Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaAnnePressler Support the show

  5. Jun 24

    Your Traitor Within: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You with Lisa Johnson

    In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out, high-conflict divorce strategist, certified domestic violence advocate, author, and legal abuse educator. Lisa shares her extraordinary journey through high-conflict divorce, representing herself through scores of court appearances, helping pass Jennifers’ Law in Connecticut, and having her own case published in the Connecticut Law Journal, where it is now being used as legal precedent. Jennifers’ Law made Connecticut the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control. Together, Jessica and Lisa explore the reality that abuse often does not end when a relationship ends. They discuss coercive control, litigation abuse, custody battles, post-separation abuse, co-parenting chaos, and the ways manipulative partners may continue exerting power through the court system, finances, and children. The conversation also focuses on Lisa and Chris’s newest book, When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You, released in March 2026 with a foreword by Bill Eddy. Lisa explains why children may reject a loving parent, how alienating behaviors impact entire families, and what parents can do to preserve relationships with their children during high-conflict separations. This episode is filled with practical insight, validation, and hope for anyone navigating high-conflict divorce, legal abuse, custody battles, estrangement, or parent-child contact problems. About Lisa Johnson: Lisa Johnson is the co-founder of Been There Got Out, a high-conflict divorce strategist and certified domestic violence advocate who successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances. Her case, published in the Connecticut Law Journal, is being used as legal precedent. Her live testimony helped pass Jennifers’ Law in Connecticut, the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control. She and her partner, Chris, coach people in high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting hell so they have the chance of the best outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters. Their first book is Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances, and their second book, When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You, released in March 2026 with a foreword by Bill Eddy. Connect with Lisa Johnson / Been There Got Out: Website: https://beentheregotout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/ First Book: Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/ Second Book: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183/ Free Strategic Communication Webinar: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/SC-Register Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Support the show

  6. Jun 17

    Your Traitor Within: Reclaiming Your Voice After Coercive Control with Jennifer Parker

    In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with therapist, author, and educator Jennifer Parker, MSSW, for a powerful conversation about coercive control, intimate partner abuse, healing, and the internalized messages survivors carry long after a relationship ends. Jennifer is the author of Coercive Relationships: Find the Answers You Seek and the creator of the Journey to Healing intervention framework. Through her work with Find Your Voice: End the Silence, she trains therapists to better recognize coercive control and support survivors of abuse with greater skill, awareness, and compassion. Together, Jessica and Jennifer discuss why so many therapists historically missed the signs of coercive control, the dangers of treating symptoms without understanding context, and why survivors so often leave therapy feeling blamed rather than understood. They explore the overlap between Jennifer's concept of the "internalized abuser" and Jessica's framework of the Traitor Within, examining how childhood experiences, family dynamics, and abusive relationships can shape self-worth, self-doubt, and decision-making. Jennifer also shares her own Traitor Within story, including the painful awakening that followed infidelity in her first marriage, the childhood experiences that shaped her self-esteem, and the healing journey that ultimately led her to become an advocate, educator, and voice for survivors. This conversation is a reminder that healing is not about fixing what is wrong with you. It is about recognizing what happened to you, reclaiming your voice, and learning to trust yourself again. About Jennifer Parker: Jennifer Parker, MSSW, is a therapist, author of Coercive Relationships: Find the Answers You Seek, and creator of the Journey to Healing intervention framework. Through her work with Find Your Voice: End the Silence, she provides training and resources that help therapists support survivors of coercive control and intimate partner abuse. Connect with Jennifer Parker: Website: https://www.findyourvoicehealing.com/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684336678/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferc.parker/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferCParkerMSSW LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/jennifer-parker-therapy-training-consultation/ Email: jennifer@findyourvoicehealing.com Support the show

  7. Jun 11

    Your Traitor Within: Why We Self-Sabotage Success with Nikki Heyder

    The Business Behind the Trauma: Self-Sabotage, People-Pleasing, and the Entrepreneur's Traitor Within with Nikki Heyder.  In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with psychotherapist, author, and business mentor Nikki Heyder for a powerful conversation about the psychological patterns that quietly shape our careers, businesses, relationships, and sense of self-worth. Drawing from her unique background in both psychotherapy and business, Nikki explores the hidden reasons so many entrepreneurs struggle to execute even when they know exactly what they need to do. Together, Jessica and Nikki discuss self-sabotage, people-pleasing, perfectionism, hyper-independence, fear of visibility, imposter syndrome, and the internal barriers that often prevent people from fully stepping into their potential. Nikki shares her own Traitor Within story, including the childhood experiences that shaped her tendency toward people-pleasing and how those patterns followed her into romantic relationships, business decisions, burnout, over-delivering, undercharging, and eventually the collapse of a business she spent years building. This conversation explores the intersection of trauma, entrepreneurship, self-worth, and healing. Jessica and Nikki discuss why strategy alone is rarely enough, how nervous system patterns influence success, the importance of self-compassion, and why curiosity may be one of the most powerful tools available for personal growth. If you've ever known what you needed to do but found yourself unable to do it, this episode offers insight, understanding, and hope. About Nikki Heyder: Nikki Heyder is a psychotherapist, published author, and business mentor with more than 13 years of entrepreneurial experience. Holding both a Bachelor's Degree in Business and Organisational Behaviour and a Master's Degree in Psychotherapy, Nikki combines clinical psychological insight with practical business strategy. She specializes in helping heart-led entrepreneurs and business owners move beyond self-sabotage, burnout, perfectionism, visibility fears, and internal limitations by addressing the psychological patterns and nervous system responses that influence growth. Her work supports clients in building businesses that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. Connect with Nikki: Website: https://www.the-soul-institute.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikki.heyder The Foundation Lab: https://www.the-soul-institute.com/the-foundation-lab Becoming Mastermind: https://www.the-soul-institute.com/becoming Regulate & Receive: https://www.the-soul-institute.com/regulate-receive Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaAnnePressler Support the show

  8. Jun 3

    YTW: From Human Doing to Human Being: Nervous System Healing, Functional Freeze, and Trauma Recovery with Caroline Strawson

    In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Caroline Strawson, award-winning nervous system expert, Hay House author, speaker, and survivor of domestic abuse, coercive control, homelessness, and profound personal adversity. Caroline shares the deeply personal journey that led her from PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, debt, and the loss of her family home to becoming one of the leading voices in nervous system healing and trauma recovery today. Together, Jessica and Caroline explore the connection between childhood wounds, narcissistic abuse, codependency, trauma responses, and the nervous system. They discuss functional freeze, emotional regulation, Internal Family Systems, somatic healing, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the ways many survivors unknowingly spend years trapped in survival mode while appearing functional from the outside. Caroline shares how the death of her mother, the collapse of her marriage, and the realization that traditional approaches to healing were not fully addressing her trauma led her to discover the missing piece: the nervous system. She explains why awareness alone is often not enough, how unresolved trauma becomes stored in the body, and why true healing requires more than simply understanding what happened. This powerful conversation also explores intergenerational trauma, parenting, self-worth, shame, boundaries, grief, and the process of moving from being a “human doing” to a “human being.” Caroline offers practical insight into why survivors often remain stuck, why time alone does not heal trauma, and how building nervous system capacity creates lasting change. If you have ever wondered why you continue to react in ways you understand intellectually but cannot seem to change emotionally, this episode is for you. About Caroline Strawson: Caroline Strawson is an award-winning nervous system expert, trauma educator, speaker, Hay House author, and survivor of domestic abuse and coercive control. Through her work she helps people understand the connection between trauma, the nervous system, physical health, and emotional wellbeing. Caroline is the founder of multiple trauma-informed businesses and has helped thousands of people move from survival into safety, self-trust, and resilience. Connect with Caroline Strawson: Website: https://carolinestrawson.com/ Instagram: @carolinestrawson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/ YouTube: @novisiblebruises Listen to Your Traitor Within: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 Support the show

5
out of 5
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About

Jessica Anne Pressler LCSW came up with the concept Traitor Within to give people a tangible and workable tool that help identify and overcome their repetitive self-sabotaging behavior. Her hope is that once a person gains insight into their Traitor Within, then they can begin to silence their traitor, thus empowering themselves and begin to heal. “Your Traitor Within” will feature conversations and stories about toxicity, healing, empowerment, and more. Www.jessicaannepressler.com @jessicaannepressler

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