Empowered with Immigrant Parents

Allison Ly
  • 5.0 (1)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Are you juggling the weight of caring for your immigrant parents while also living out your dreams? Are you finding yourself stuck in negative self-talk, guilt, fear, burnout, or resentment? If so, you're not alone. I get it. I've been there.   But here’s the thing: you don’t have to choose between your goals, ambitions, and caring for your loved ones. This podcast is your guide to empower yourself to thrive in both worlds - so that you can take care of yourself AND your loved ones in ways that work for you.   The pressure to be the best version of yourself, to give your family everything they need, and to chase your own dreams… it’s real. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m Allison Ly — a fellow adult child of immigrant parents here as your coach and host. I have a background in mental health therapy and have worked with adults with immigrant parents, or individuals with immigrant backgrounds for 10+ years.   In this podcast, I’m going to give you practical tips, relatable stories, and the tools to navigate the unique challenges of being an adult with immigrant parents.  You’ll learn how to show up for yourself, your career, and your relationships in ways that feel authentic, without feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process. Let's leave the negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-sacrifice patterns behind so that you can start to unlock your fullest potential. If you’re ready to feel even more empowered, and confident, and show up as the best version of yourself - while still giving back to those you love hit subscribe to start to unlock your fullest potential.  Check out my website: www.heyallisonly.com 

  1. MAY 12

    Why Feeling Your Feelings is Hard and What to Do About It

    Ep 22: Why Feeling Your Feelings is Hard and What to Do About It2 Quick Ways to Honor Your Feelings and Inner ChildFollow Asian Mental Health Project Website: https://www.asianmentalhealthproject.com/ Instagram: @asianmentalhealthprojectAttend their next Honor Your Feelings Festhttps://www.eventbrite.com/e/honor-your-feelings-fest-tickets-1984586818598#organizer-card___More from Allison Ly  | Free Resources:Free Resource Library:https://www.heyallisonly.com/library Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://www.heyallisonly.com/cheatsheet Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://www.heyallisonly.com/resourceGet my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start _________It can be difficult to honor your feelings in general. And then on top of that, it’s extra difficult when you may not exactly know what you’re feeling. And honoring your feelings is so important. In this episode, I’m reflecting on my experience speaking at Honor Your Feelings Fest with Asian Mental Health Project and sharing why honoring your feelings can feel especially difficult as an adult with immigrant parents. I talk about why so many of us struggle to identify our emotions, and how constantly focusing on everyone else can disconnect us from ourselves.I also share practical mindset shifts and reflections around emotional awareness, self-talk, motherhood, play, healing, and learning how to create space for yourself. Episode Timeline:00:00 Why Honoring Our Feelings Matter00:41 Honor Your Feelings Fest By Asian Mental Health Project01:55 Meditation in the Noise03:48 Fun Healing05:17 Honor Your Feelings Fest Highlights 06:30 Why Immigrant Kids Struggle09:25 Ask Yourself This Three Times13:13 Check in on This15:40 Try ThisShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/22Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

    24 min

  2. APR 14

    The One Word That’s Sabotaging Your Relationships & Self-Talk

    Ep 21:  The Word That's Holding You Back (and why) Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/email_________What if the way you are using this word is quietly shaping how you feel in your relationships?This is something that’s been coming up a lot lately and can have a much bigger impact than you might think. This may be especially true for adults with immigrant parents, where communication, guilt, and this feeling of being responsible for others’ and for so much for is already feeling so complicated. We don’t always realize what we are needing and wanting in the moment. But paying attention to this word can be so helpful to tapping into that more and also getting our needs met more.Even if it’s happening after the fact.Because when you begin to notice these things, and make these small shifts, you may also start to shift how you feel, how you show up, and what feels possible in your relationships.Episode Timeline:00:00 The Word to Be Mindful Of02:27 Why This Word Matters03:49 This is Vague 05:49 Being More Direct 08:47 What if You Don’t Know10:35 Choices13:49 How Guilt Plays a Role15:15 Some Phrases to Use InsteadShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/21Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

    19 min

  3. MAR 31

    Guilt, Growth, and Joy: 5 Reminders

    Ep: 20 Take care of your inner child with these 5 remindersJoin my exclusive email community for adults with immigrant parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailAs adults with immigrant parents, you’re probably used to having so much responsibility, pressure, and thinking about what you should be doing instead of thinking about you.I share 5 reminders that you may benefit from.Because the truth is… for a lot of us as adults with immigrant parents, childhood wasn’t always simple.There was responsibility.Pressure.Sometimes even roles we took on before we were ready.If you’ve been feeling stuck in responsibility, guilt, or pressure… this is a conversation that might shift something for you.If this resonates, come join my email community for more conversations like this:https://heyallisonly.com/emailAnd if you haven’t already, subscribe to Empowered with Immigrant Parents for more tools, stories, and mindset shifts to help you care for your family without losing yourself.__________More From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:00 - The one truth about growing up with immigrant parents no one talks about0:31 - Why these 5 childhood lessons hit different as an adult3:00 - Most adults have forget this6:43 - The one feeling we all avoid8:10 - How I see failure10:57 - Why you're being too hard on yourself 13:19 - The lost childhood skill that's holding you backShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/20Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

    21 min

  4. MAR 17

    The Immigrant Stories That Shape You (Even If No One Told Them) featuring Jaime Jo Hoang, Author

    Ep 19: The Immigrant Stories That Shape You (Even If No One Told Them)Featured Guest:Jamie Jo Hoang, Authorwww.heyjamie.comInstagram: @heyjamiereadsLike this conversation? Join my exclusive email community for adults with immigrant parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailWhat if you could get some closure, some healing from your parent’s past? Even if they don’t tell you? That’s what reading Jaime Jo Hoang’s books (My Mother the Mermaid Chaser and My Father the Panda Killer) did for me.Author Jamie Jo Hoang joins me for a thoughtful conversation about identity, family, generational trauma, boundaries, and what it can look like to approach our parents and ourselves with more compassion. This conversation touches on the unspoken parts of growing up in an immigrant family, why some stories feel hard to face, and how we can start to create a different type of understanding and relationship. We talk about:- Growing up with family histories that were never fully explained- Why stories can become powerful conversation starters across generations- The complexity of boundaries in immigrant families- What it means to hold compassion without dismissing your own experience- Identity, healing, sibling relationships, and generational patterns- Jamie’s books My Father, the Panda Killer and My Mother, the Mermaid ChaserAbout Jaime:Jamie Jo Hoang is the daughter of Vietnamese refugees. She grew up in Orange County, CA—not the rich part. She is the author of MY MOTHER, THE MERMAID CHASER, MY FATHER, THE PANDA KILLER and BLUE SUN, YELLOW SKY. Her work has also appeared in TIME, SALON and TinyBuddha.More From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:28 – Meet Jaime Jo Hoang, Author1:00 - Writing About Immigrant Family Trauma4:30 - What Her Parents Did When They Found Out She Wrote a Book14:50 - How to Set Boundaries With Immigrant Parents Without Guilt18:50 - Breaking Generational Trauma: Every Generation Has Its Task25:36 - A Question About Immigrant Guilt40:33 - Unspoken Topics Around War44:26 - Why Self-Compassion Is Harder48:15 - Which Book to Read First: Mermaid Chaser vs Panda KillerPodcast Episode Mentioned:InfatuAsian Podcast Ep 194 Author Jamie Jo Hoang on Writing the Stories Our Vietnamese Parents Never Tell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FiSUH5IdtxTIagcm44HCE?si=b6b3df3479b246a6Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/19Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

    54 min

  5. FEB 17

    Raising Bilingual Kids Without Pressure and Guilt as a Second-Generation Parent, with Sophie Tran from Mommy and Me Vietnamese

    Adults with immigrant parents and millennial parents raising bilingual kids: Vietnamese language learning, heritage culture, boundary setting, and emotional regulation without forcing it or losing yourself.Featured Guest:Sophie Tran, Founder of Mommy & Me VietnameseMommy and Me Vietnamese:  https://www.youtube.com/@TheHeTreTV Instagram: @mommyandmevietnameseEp 18: Millennial Parents: Raising Bilingual Kids Without PressureFeaturing Sophie Tran, Founder of Mommy & Me Vietnamese📌 Join my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilt➡️ https://heyallisonly.com/secretWhat if learning Vietnamese (or any heritage language) didn’t have to come with pressure, guilt, or feeling like you’re failing your kid?In this episode of Empowered with Immigrant Parents, I’m joined by Sophie Tran, founder of Mommy and Me Vietnamese (and yes, the songs will get stuck in your head in a good way).We talk about the emotional layers underneath “passing down culture” for millennial parents and adults with immigrant parents. Because it’s not just language. It’s identity, belonging, healing, and the very real reality of motherhood, time, and unrealistic expectations.In this conversation, we get into:- How to teach Vietnamese in a way that feels fun, gentle, and consistent- What happens when culture is tied to shame, criticism, or survival mode- Why many of us grew up with only “happy” and “sad” (and how that impacts emotional health)- Boundaries in immigrant families, family roles, and staying connected without abandoning yourself-How we can separate our identity from how our children doMore From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:00 – Meet Sophie Tran, founder of Mommy and Me Vietnamese1:38 – Vietnamese language legacy: Thế Hệ Trẻ and bilingual education for second-generation kids13:00 – Millennial parents reclaiming Vietnamese identity18:40 – Setting boundaries with immigrant parents without confrontation26:00 – Teaching emotions in Vietnamese: emotional intelligence in bilingual families29:00 – Representation matters: Vietnamese dolls, books, and cultural representation39:00 – Realistic expectations in heritage language learning (why forcing Vietnamese backfires)Links mentioned:Red Episode:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKQ0gryys2E&t=1sLove to Sing Books: https://lovetosingbooks.com Joey Dolls: https://joeydolls.com/ Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/18Follow and subscribe for more: ▶️ YouTube: @heyallisonly📸 Instagram: @heyallisonly🎵 TikTok: @heyallisonly

    52 min

  6. FEB 3

    Stop Feeling Like a Bad Daughter: From Obligation to Choice, Relearning How to Show Up

    Ep. 17: Stop Feeling Like a “Bad Daughter” From Obligation to Choice: Relearning How to Show Up with Immigrant ParentsJoin my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilt➡️ https://heyallisonly.com/secretI shared my story as a daughter of immigrant parents and why this work around guilt, people pleasing, and emotional self-care matters so deeply.I talk about the invisible emotional weight many adults with immigrant parents carry, the pressure to always show up, and how guilt and negative self-talk can quietly drive our choices without us even realizing it.This episode explores:- Why small moments with immigrant parents can feel unexpectedly heavy- What happens when you force yourself to show up when you’re already depleted- Why self-care isn’t selfish, especially in immigrant families- How learning emotional regulation skills can help you feel better sooner- The importance of repair- Why boundaries don’t mean you love your parents lessThis episode is for adults with immigrant parents who:- Feel stuck between caring for themselves and caring for family- Struggle with guilt, resentment, or people pleasing- Want healthier relationships without cutting ties- Are tired of feeling emotionally exhausted after family interactionsYou don’t have to choose between yourself and your parents.There are more options than you think.Join my Free Training to learn more about your optionsAnd also learn practical tools to help you stop spiraling in guilt and start feeling more emotionally secure with your immigrant parents.👉 Sign up here: https://heyallisonly.com/secret📅 February 26, 2026 (or visit the link for the next available training)More From Allison Ly – Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries:https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk:https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/startGet my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones:https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resourceGet my weekly emails with actionable tips, tools, and relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents:https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:0:30 - Why This Work Matters1:00 - The Immigrant Parent Experience2:00 - How I Got My Time Back3:30 - Real Example: Today's Letter7:30 - You Have the Power to Feel Better8:30 - Moving Out13:00 - Breaking the Autopilot Pattern15:00 - Join us Feb 26, 2026Show notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/17

    18 min

  7. JAN 20

    Before I Lose It (The First Step To Stop the Overwhelm)

    The First Step To Stop the OverwhelmEp. 16: When You Feel Yourself Getting Overwhelmed, Do This➡️ Join my Free Training: Discover the secret to feeling more emotionally secure when spending time with your immigrant parents without people pleasing & spiraling in guilthttps://heyallisonly.com/secret** I can't find that reel I was talking about - sorry! DM @heyallisonly the reel if you know what I'm talking about. Thanks in advance!Ep. 16: Before You Lose itSometimes it isn’t about setting boundaries perfectly or having the right script ready.And it’s not about fixing anyone or pushing through harder.It’s about noticing when your body is overloaded.And then doing something about it. The “doing” I am talking about is different than what you think that will actually help you show up better.I talk about this and more:• Ways overstimulation can build• How perfectionism and urgency quietly add pressure• Why taking space doesn’t mean you don’t careIf you’ve ever felt overstimulated, tense, or disconnected while surrounded by people you love, this episode is for you.More From Allison Ly – Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries:https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk:https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/startGet my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones:https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resourceGet my weekly emails with actionable tips, tools, and relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents:https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:01:00 How Perfectionism Adds to Stress03:49 What to Do When Overwhelm Kicks In07:40 Calm Down with This11:34 Check-ins11:59 Free Training for Adults with Immigrant ParentsShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/16

    13 min

  8. JAN 6

    Let Go to Let In: Why Letting Go Feels Hard For Adults with Immigrant Parents

    Ep. 15: It’s Not Just Stuff: Why Letting Go Feels So Hard featuring Dr. Christine Li, Procrastination Coach and Clinical PsychologistLike this conversation? Join my exclusive email community for adults with immigrant parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailFeatured Guest:Dr. Christine Li, Procrastination Coach and Clinical PsychologistFreebie: https://maketimeforsuccesspodcast.com/clutter Website: https://procrastinationcoach.com Instagram: @procrastinationcoach TikTok: @procrastinationcoach Podcast: Make Time For SuccessIn this episode of Empowered with Immigrant Parents, Allison Ly is joined by Dr. Christine Li for a conversation that goes deeper than productivity tips or mindset hacks.We explore how cultural expectations, scarcity, and responsibility shape the way many second-generation adults relate to time, clutter, and pressure.And how having and carrying too much for too long can quietly drain your energy, focus, and joy.This episode isn’t about working harder or becoming more disciplined.It’s about understanding the emotional patterns behind stress and overwhelm, especially for adults raised in immigrant households.We talk about: • Why “doing things differently” can bring guilt • How family dynamics affect procrastination and burnout • What it really means to stop disappointing yourself • And how awareness can shift your relationship with responsibility without abandoning your familyWe dive into the importance of embracing positive aspects of Asian culture, managing stress and clutter, and overcoming procrastination. Dr. Li shares her accidental journey into clinical psychology, her past struggles with procrastination, and tips for adults with immigrant parents to navigate family expectations while staying true to themselves. Learn how to start decluttering and reprogram your mindset for success. More From Allison Ly -  Free Resources:Stop Spiraling in Guilt Cheatsheet For Setting Boundaries: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/cheatsheet 3 Easy Ways to Tackle Your Negative Self Talk: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/start Get my Free Quickstart Guide to Help You Help Your Loved Ones: https://heyallisonly.myflodesk.com/resource Get my weekly emails for actionable tips, tools, relatable stories for Adults with Immigrant Parents: https://heyallisonly.com/emailEpisode Timeline:00:00 Intro: Reprogramming Your Thoughts00:42 Meet Dr. Christine Li: Procrastination Coach, Clinical Psychologist03:23 Family Expectations vs Personal Growth as an Adult with Immigrant Parents07:46 Becoming a Clinical Psychologist Outside Traditional Career Paths09:48 Procrastination, Stress, and Overwhelm in Second-Generation Adults20:24 Decluttering, Scarcity Mindset, and Emotional Wellbeing29:12 Letting Go of Guilt, Responsibility, and Old Family Patterns31:25 How to Continue the WorkShow notes and more at: https://heyallisonly.com/podcast/15

    33 min
See All (22)

Trailer

About

Are you juggling the weight of caring for your immigrant parents while also living out your dreams? Are you finding yourself stuck in negative self-talk, guilt, fear, burnout, or resentment? If so, you're not alone. I get it. I've been there.   But here’s the thing: you don’t have to choose between your goals, ambitions, and caring for your loved ones. This podcast is your guide to empower yourself to thrive in both worlds - so that you can take care of yourself AND your loved ones in ways that work for you.   The pressure to be the best version of yourself, to give your family everything they need, and to chase your own dreams… it’s real. But you don’t have to do it alone. I’m Allison Ly — a fellow adult child of immigrant parents here as your coach and host. I have a background in mental health therapy and have worked with adults with immigrant parents, or individuals with immigrant backgrounds for 10+ years.   In this podcast, I’m going to give you practical tips, relatable stories, and the tools to navigate the unique challenges of being an adult with immigrant parents.  You’ll learn how to show up for yourself, your career, and your relationships in ways that feel authentic, without feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process. Let's leave the negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-sacrifice patterns behind so that you can start to unlock your fullest potential. If you’re ready to feel even more empowered, and confident, and show up as the best version of yourself - while still giving back to those you love hit subscribe to start to unlock your fullest potential.  Check out my website: www.heyallisonly.com 

Information