The TexTenn Podcast

Keith & Clay

Just two guys talking about business, life, and whatever else comes up. Keith Heavilin and Clay Blair share their experiences, tell some stories, and probably go off on a few tangents along the way. No script, just real conversations with a little humor thrown in.

  1. 4d ago

    The Savannah Bananas Sent My Buddy Into Therapy

    Ever left your truck running in a parking lot just because you didn't feel like dealing with it again? Keith and Clay get it. This week on the TexTenn Podcast the guys swing from a Little League team that went from losing 16-1 to run-ruling everybody 22-4 (sorry to the catcher who was basically in tears 😅) to the great American scam of paying extra to unlock heated seats that are already in your car. 🤦‍♂️ Then it gets real. There's a vegan running for Senate in Texas who's on camera insisting there are six genders, and Clay simply cannot let it go. 🔥 There's the buddy named Jeff who hated the Savannah Bananas so much he had to sit alone in the RV for fifteen minutes to recover. There's the poll worker who tried to confiscate Keith's phone, and Keith; proud contrarian, business owner, definitely-not-a-Democrat-no-matter-what-Neal-says, just slid it back in his pocket. Pterodactyl-sized mosquitoes attack a baseball game. The lake's at 18%, so go nuts and leave the faucet on while you brush. Somebody's hiding wasted water behind a dam. It's a lot. 😂 This is two guys who actually know each other shooting the breeze about kids, dogs, trucks, Texas politics, and why nobody listens to the radio anymore. No script, no agenda, just the kind of conversation you wish you were sitting in on. Here's what we talked about in this episode… From 16-1 losers to run-rule royalty 🥎 The catcher who almost cried (and the hug that saved baseball) Savannah Bananas: Jeff's 15-minute RV breakdown 😂 Heated seats behind a paywall and other modern crimes 🤦‍♂️ Six genders, zero beef: The Texas senate circus 🔥 No phones at the polls (Keith said "no thanks") 18% and rising: The lake, the dam, and the mystery pipe 💧 Dogs, heartbreak, and the pup who only shows up for bacon 🐶 This is the conversation your group chat is going to be quoting all week; the dam pipe, the six genders, the RV meltdown. Miss it and you're the one asking "wait, what?" while everybody else is already laughing. 🔥

    31 min

  2. May 26

    They Wrote a 50-Page Autopsy and Still Missed the Whole Point

    The Democrat Party released its official post-election autopsy, blamed one transgender-focused campaign ad, and somehow didn't mention that they swapped candidates at the last second and expected nobody to notice. Meanwhile, Spencer Pratt; yes, that Spencer Pratt...just walked into the LA mayoral race with a homeless policy plan that's more thought-out than what the city has been doing for decades. The bar is on the floor and a reality TV villain just cleared it. 🔥 Keith and Clay break it all down, including why NGOs are getting paid to keep homeless people homeless, what a 30-day overdose-blocking drug could actually do that apartments never will, and why the whole system seems designed to treat the symptom and protect the paycheck. Also somehow in the mix: Clay got the wrong enchiladas, an empty tea glass for 20 minutes, and is still defending the restaurant 😂. Keith's convinced it's a him problem. Clay is not. Oh, and the youth baseball team won their first game ever against the number one seed, with seven players, a borrowed kid, and one kid sitting at home with a broken arm who didn't even believe it happened. 🤦‍♂️ There's also a story Clay got in trouble for that he refuses to tell on air. He brought it up anyway. Classic Clay. Here's what we talked about in this episode… Lake Corpus Christi drought update & recent rainfall recovery Youth baseball: Winning their first game shorthanded with a borrowed player Graham's broken arm recovery (and the catch that almost made it worse) Spencer Pratt's LA mayoral run and his surprisingly detailed homeless policy plan NGOs profiting off homelessness instead of solving it The Democrat post-election autopsy report and what it conveniently left out Clay's latest bad service experience at AJ's: Wrong plate, empty tea glass, zero apologies The guys didn't wait for you to start. That's kind of their thing.

    30 min

  3. May 19

    Spencer Pratt for LA Mayor? His AI Ads Are Destroying Karen Bass

    Coaching 12-year-olds who slam $400 bats after a strikeout is a special kind of character development.Coaching 12-year-olds who slam $400 bats after a strikeout is a special kind of character development. Keith just lost 16-1 in three innings with eight errors, and his big coaching breakthrough is that nobody cried this week. Progress is progress. 🤦‍♂️ Then things get political but make it chaotic. Spencer Pratt is somehow running for LA mayor and dropping AI ads where he's Batman fighting Karen Bass as the Joker, and honestly? The guys are kind of into it. There's a whole detour into John Cornyn's Dollar General cowboy hat commercial, the great Cornyn vs. Paxton dilemma, and a deeply held belief that Mexican restaurants make the best pancakes in South Texas (this is non-negotiable). 🔥 Clay also reveals he's been banned from the new Devil Wears Prada because Meryl Streep makes him want to yell at the screen. Fair. The real chaos: Clay hates palm trees. Not all palm trees — specifically Texas palm trees. He cannot explain why. He just knows. There's also a tornado nobody noticed, a high school helmet-glue prank that earned an entire practice of running, and Justin getting called up to Double-A in Northwest Arkansas. 😂 Here's what we talked about in this episode… The 16-1 Coaching Disaster Clay's Inexplicable Hatred of Palm Trees The Storm Nobody Felt Cornyn vs. Paxton and the Dollar General Cowboy Hat Spencer Pratt for Mayor of LA Banned From the Movie Theater The Great South Texas Pancake Take Two guys, no agenda, full tangents. Press play and stop pretending you're doing something more important.

    34 min

  4. May 5

    Everyone Thinks You're Rich… Then You See the Bills

    Owning a business doesn't make you rich. It just makes everyone think you are. 😂 Meanwhile, you're staring at expenses, dealing with stress, and wondering how that story got so far from reality. The conversation jumps from business life to real life fast because there's no separation anyway. Sales fix everything… until they don't. Being slammed feels great… until it wears you out. And just when you think you've got control, your kid loses it over nothing and you're standing there mid–peanut butter sandwich trying to figure out what just exploded. 🤦‍♂️ Then it gets even more real, kids breaking bones and acting like doctor's orders are optional, trying to run a business while also being bossed around at home, and watching your own kid make money while you're basically the unpaid help. 🔥 Add in random life stuff like gas prices making zero sense and doing everything right but still not getting the win… it's a whole mix. Here's what we talked about in this episode… The "You Must Be Rich" Myth Freedom vs. Pressure Sales Fix Everything… Until They Don't Morning Meltdown Chaos Broken Arm, Still Playing No Win Despite Doing It Right Kids Running the Show Sit in on this one. It's the kind of conversation that feels like a normal day, laughing at the chaos, calling it what it is, and realizing nobody actually has it figured out.

    24 min

  5. Apr 28

    Coke vs Pepsi, Cheesecake vs Caramel, Kids vs Concrete

    There's always that one weekend that starts with something stupid like arguing over Coke vs Pepsi… and somehow ends in the ER. 😂 One minute it's strong opinions about Coke Zero supremacy and restaurant menus that try to do too much, next minute it's a homemade cheesecake disaster that turns into a full-blown redemption arc. Clay accidentally floods an entire cheesecake mid-bake (yes, actually pours water into it 🤦‍♂️), rage-quits, goes back to the store, and somehow comes out the other side with one of the best cheesecakes ever made. Meanwhile, Keith is inhaling half of it like it's a personal challenge, debating caramel drizzle strategy, and questioning why peanuts come in baby sizes. Just normal, productive adult conversations. And then the tone flips because of course it does. A bike, a bad decision, and a quiet kid trying to "walk it off" turns into a very real broken arm and a long night at the hospital. Baseball season? Done. Pain tolerance? Questionable. Little boy logic? Still undefeated. 🔥 Here's what we talked about in this episode… Coke vs Pepsi debate (and why Coke Zero wins by a mile) Restaurant talk: Bubba's 33 and the "too big menu" problem The cheesecake saga: from total disaster to redemption bake Accidentally pouring water into a cheesecake (yes, really) 🤦‍♂️ Ranking the final cheesecake (and eating way too much of it) Roasting peanuts and questionable "baby peanut" quality control Kids doing dumb bike tricks that end badly Broken arm story: hiding the pain until it's obvious ER visit, X-rays, and baseball season officially over Why boys never grow out of doing stupid things Join us for another rollercoaster ride in today's episode. Let's jump in and get started!

    34 min

  6. Apr 14

    You Can't Preach That Then Say This After

    You ever read something and go, "Wait… did that really just happen back-to-back?" Yeah. That's how this one starts. One minute it's all faith, tradition, and sincerity… next minute it's full-on chaos with zero filter. No warm-up. No transition. Just straight into "what are we doing here?" energy. From there it somehow turns into a full-blown spiral; foreign policy takes, why trying to "fix" other countries never goes how people think, and the kind of real talk that usually only happens off-mic. Then out of nowhere, we're arguing about local politics, why nobody normal runs for office anymore, and how paying people pennies to run a city might actually explain everything 🤦‍♂️ And just when it feels like it can't get more random, we're in youth sports drama, parenting decisions that feel like political strategy, and the universal struggle of getting a kid out of bed without starting a war 😂 Toss in conspiracy-level debates about the moon, rockets, and whether we actually pulled off what we say we did… yeah, it goes there. Here's what we talked about in this episode… Trump's Easter posts and the shift from religious messaging to aggressive rhetoric Public reaction and debate around his communication style and leadership tone Iran conflict discussion, ceasefire doubts, and how their government structure works Skepticism around U.S. involvement overseas and "boots on the ground" conversations Local city politics, council dysfunction, and why qualified people avoid running Frustrations around low pay for public officials and recycled leadership Parenting realities, raising a 12-year-old and chaotic morning routines 😂 Youth baseball coaching, fairness vs. favoritism, and managing team dynamics Space talk: moon landing skepticism, Artemis mission, and conspiracy-style debates It's one of those conversations that starts in one place and refuses to stay there. Feels like sitting at a table where nobody's trying to sound smart, just honest… and occasionally way too honest.

    42 min

  7. Apr 7

    My AI Started Demanding Proof of Work and I Lost It

    Your AI has officially lost its mind and honestly, same. Keith's Claude started demanding screenshots and proof of completion mid-workflow like some kind of silicon micromanager, and Keith's response was to cuss at it until it backed down. Spoiler: it took three rounds. 🤦‍♂️  Meanwhile, Clay is out here ordering enchiladas at 10:50am like a man of culture while Keith ordered pancakes at the best Mexican spot in South Texas. We don't make the rules, but we will absolutely judge you for breaking them. Then there's the Alamo Drafthouse saga. Clay went. Clay suffered. Clay ate an entire pizza in the dark using his phone flashlight, couldn't get a Coke refill for 20 minutes, nearly fell asleep during a space movie his wife dragged him to. A wife, by the way, who thinks the moon landing was faked. 🔥 Keith went the very next night and had the time of his life. Same theater. Completely different human. This is either a Clay problem or a Keith problem, and both of them are convinced it's the other guy. Oh, and Keith's kids are out here throwing water bottles at each other's eyes, then following up with rocks; after being told specifically not to throw rocks. Gas is $5.29 a gallon, the AI is getting authoritarian, Iran blew up an Amazon server, and nobody; not the kids, not the AI, not Britain, is listening to anybody. 😂 Here's what we talked about in this episode… AJ's Cafe road trip and the great pancakes-vs-enchiladas debate An AI demanding proof of work and getting cussed into submission Kids weaponizing water bottles, rocks, and bicycles against each other Gas prices hitting different when you're watching the pump tick past $5 Trump, tariffs, and telling Britain to go get their own oil Iran attacking US infrastructure and how close things are getting The Alamo Drafthouse experience that divided a marriage A space movie one of them hated and the other secretly loved This is just a regular Tuesday for Clay and Keith, and it's way more entertaining than whatever else you had going on. Press play.

    50 min

  8. Mar 24

    Why Do the People in Charge Keep Making Things Worse?

    Why do the people in charge keep making things worse… and somehow it trickles all the way down to your chips and salsa? 🤦‍♂️ One minute you're talking about cities running out of water and businesses packing up and leaving… next thing you know your favorite restaurant quietly changes everything and expects you to just deal with it. This one goes everywhere, in the best way. Keith and Clay bounce from real-world chaos (water shortages, taxes, companies fleeing states) straight into the stuff that actually hits your day-to-day life. Like why a city can't get its act together before things break, or how leadership decisions somehow always end up costing you more. And just when it starts getting serious… they're arguing about unsalted chips, pizza standards, and whether spicy honey belongs anywhere near a slice 😂🔥 There's no clean agenda here, just two guys calling out the absurdity of it all. Big decisions, small annoyances, and the weird connection between them. Plus a few side quests into restaurant drama, burrito experiments, and a very unexpected Chuck Norris moment that derails everything in classic TexTenn fashion. What we get into this episode… Local water crisis and how poor planning is starting to hit everyday life Frustration with government decisions (taxes, policies, leadership contradictions) Businesses and wealthy individuals leaving states—and the ripple effects on jobs Restaurant changes (On The Border vs Pappas influence) and how "upgrades" don't always feel like upgrades Strong opinions on food: pizza standards, burritos, tortillas, and spicy honey debates 😂 The tension between big-world issues and small, relatable annoyances Random but classic TexTenn moments (guest drama, Chuck Norris news, everyday chaos) You'll laugh, you'll get annoyed, and you'll probably think about your own city, your own favorite spot, and how fast things change when someone "in charge" decides to fix something that wasn't broken.

    38 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Just two guys talking about business, life, and whatever else comes up. Keith Heavilin and Clay Blair share their experiences, tell some stories, and probably go off on a few tangents along the way. No script, just real conversations with a little humor thrown in.

Information

  • Creator
    Keith & Clay
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    57
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    The TexTenn Podcast

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