One photo can’t heal a whole life, but it can change the way you see yourself forever. After my separation, I realized I didn’t just feel uncertain about dating. I was uncertain about me. I couldn’t take a compliment without questioning whether it was true, and my default was to critique my body instead of inhabit it. That’s why, in 2023, I booked my first boudoir shoot with Nicole Messner of Wise Photography, and why it became one of the biggest turning points in my self-discovery journey. For so much of my life, I could hear people tell me I was beautiful, but actually seeing what they saw was something entirely different. Through Nicole’s lens, I finally did. I saw my body as art. I saw beauty, sensuality, confidence, and a woman who was so much more than the “pretty” or “cute” I had allowed myself to be. There is a pre-photoshoot Arlyne and a post-photoshoot Arlyne. In many ways, that first experience feels like part of my origin story. Nicole doesn’t treat boudoir photography like a “be sexy for an hour” performance. She creates an experience built around trust and giving women an opportunity to see themselves from a completely different perspective. In this episode, Nicole and I talk about: My first boudoir photoshoot and what it meant to finally see my beauty the way others had always seen it The evolution from “pretty” and “cute” to embracing sexy, sensual, and powerful Nicole’s journey as a photographer and how she found her way to boudoir The way she photographs the female body as art The fear of judgment, the male gaze, and the ways women learn to shrink themselves What really happens during a boudoir shoot, from being coached through every pose to the moment of the reveal How seeing yourself differently can create confidence that spills into the rest of your life The community Nicole has created through Wise Photography and the friendships that have come into my life because of it This conversation is about boudoir, but it’s really about seeing yourself. My photoshoots with Nicole, especially that first one, changed me forever. Nicole didn’t create the woman I saw in those photographs. She helped me see that she had been there all along. And once I saw her, I couldn’t unsee her. Sometimes becoming isn’t about turning into someone new. Sometimes it’s finally seeing who you already are. If you’ve ever struggled to see your own beauty, felt disconnected from your body or sensuality, or wondered what might change if you could see yourself through a different lens, this one’s for you. Connect with Nicole Nicole Messner, Wise Photography Website: wisebynicole.com Instagram: @wisebynicole About I Will Know You I Will Know You (@iwillknowyoupod) is a podcast about the lifelong journey of knowing ourselves more deeply, healing what needs healing, and becoming more fully who we are. Hosted by Arlyne Solis (@queenarlyne) Production Produced and edited by Alec Bardin. 🔗 Listen & Subscribe here! 💬 Let’s Connect! @QueenArlyne on Instagram ⭐ If this episode resonated, leave a review! It helps more people find the show.
