I Didn't Get the Birth I Wanted

Julia Ellis
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A private podcast for moms processing a birth that didn’t go as planned. Inside you'll find: 🌀 Honest, soul-level stories from me, Julia, about my own births—what hurt, what helped, and what healed 🌀 A clear, compassionate roadmap for processing your own birth experience 🌀 Three 25–35 minute episodes you can listen to in your own time—offering reflection, resonance, and a way to begin 🌀 A perspective that can help you feel less alone and more grounded in your own process If you're still sitting with pain, regret, or grief from your birth, these episodes are for you. ✨

Episodes

  1. 03/24/2025

    Episode 3: Healing Your Birth Story

    When birth doesn’t go the way you hoped, it can leave behind a mess of emotions—grief, blame, unanswered questions. We replay the moments, search for what we could have done differently, and sometimes, we tuck it away, telling ourselves, it wasn’t that bad. I should just be grateful. But here’s the thing: if it felt like a big deal, it was a big deal. And finding peace with your birth isn’t about putting a silver lining on it—it’s about making space for the full truth of what happened, and how it felt. In this episode, I share: ✨ Why minimizing your feelings won’t make them go away (and what actually helps) ✨ The ways grief shows up after birth—and how to let yourself move through it ✨ The hidden stories we tell ourselves about our births (and why they keep us stuck) ✨ Practices to help shift your perspective without forcing yourself to feel differently ✨ A different way to hold your birth story—one that makes room for both the pain and the strength it took to get through it Some births stay with us longer than we expected. If yours still sits heavy in your body, this episode is for you. Resources I mention: The Work of Byron Katie: https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/ The Model (self coaching): https://www.thelifecoachschool.com/self-coaching-model-guide EFT tapping: https://www.thetappingsolution.com/eft-tapping/

  2. 03/24/2025

    Episode 2: Surrender & Strength

    I went into my second birth with so much more awareness, more trust in myself—but also (to be real) a deep hope that this time, things would go the way I wanted. I planned for a VBAC. I prepared my body, my mind, everything. But birth had its own plans. This episode is about what happened when I let go of control—not in defeat, but in strength. When I shifted my focus from “getting the birth I want” to something deeper: health, connection, and pride in myself, no matter how it unfolded. In this episode, I share: ✨ The intense preparation I did for a VBAC—and why I still chose a hospital birth ✨ The moment I realized I was still holding onto old beliefs about “better” births ✨ How my intentions shaped my experience, even when things didn’t go as planned ✨ The surprising peace I found in my second birth—and how it healed my first This birth didn’t follow my plan, but it gave me something I didn’t even know I needed. I hope that my story opens up some new possibilities for you and your own birth.

  3. 03/24/2025

    Episode 1: Birth, Broken Open

    I’ve wanted to share these stories for a long time, but I could never quite find the right space. They’re deeply personal—not just mine, but my daughters’ too. And they are not simple celebrations of birth--they are layered and complex, the incredible joy of birth right alongside deep disappointment and pain. In this first episode, I’m telling the story of my first birth—the one that blindsided me. The one I planned for so carefully, only to have it unfold in a way I never imagined. If you’re here, I’m guessing you might understand that feeling—the grief, the questions, the what-ifs. Maybe you’re holding a birth story that still sits heavy in your body. If so, I want you to know: you’re not alone. In this episode, I share: ✨ The vision I had for my birth—and why it mattered so much to me ✨ The subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we try to control birth—and what happens when life has other plans ✨ The emotional aftermath of my birth now going how I planned—grief, self-blame, and the long road to healing✨ The surprising things I’ve come to see now about that birth, years later Birth is wild. Unpredictable. Humbling. And sometimes, the most unexpected experiences hold the deepest transformation. If your birth wasn’t what you hoped for, I hope this episode helps you feel seen.

  • 3 Episodes

About

A private podcast for moms processing a birth that didn’t go as planned. Inside you'll find: 🌀 Honest, soul-level stories from me, Julia, about my own births—what hurt, what helped, and what healed 🌀 A clear, compassionate roadmap for processing your own birth experience 🌀 Three 25–35 minute episodes you can listen to in your own time—offering reflection, resonance, and a way to begin 🌀 A perspective that can help you feel less alone and more grounded in your own process If you're still sitting with pain, regret, or grief from your birth, these episodes are for you. ✨

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