Visionary Advisor

Totalfamily.io | Wealth Advisor Legacy Planning

Welcome to Visionary Advisor, the podcast for forward-thinking wealth advisors who believe the future of wealth management is bigger than portfolios. Each episode brings together influential voices across family wealth, planning, psychology, legacy, and client experience to explore what HNW and UHNW advisors should be paying attention to now. We’ll talk about how great advisors grow organically, build deeper relationships across generations, and help families turn wealth into something more durable: clarity, connection, and legacy. Because the firms that win the next decade will be the ones that serve the whole family, earn trust with the rising generation, and make legacy feel practical. Keep doing legacy better, more at totalfamily.io

  1. 5d ago

    The Future of Wealth: Understanding Women’s Needs in Advisory Relationships with Katie Randall & Lisa Jones, Prime Capital

    When a spouse dies or a marriage ends, most women leave their advisor.  The real risk isn’t lost assets — it’s lost trust and connection that should never have been a single point of failure. In this episode of Visionary Advisor, hosted by Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family), guests Katie Randall and Lisa Jones of Prime Capital Financial bring decades of experience working with women, couples, and families through life’s hardest transitions. Together, they reveal how most advisory practices are designed for men, ignoring the very clients who will soon control nearly all the money. This conversation dives into why heirs, especially women, so often walk away and what it takes to build resilience into your practice. You’ll hear candid stories about shifting from jargon to plain language, embracing the “messy middle” of client emotions, and creating an environment where both partners and rising generations truly feel seen. The discussion covers the communication gap between spouses, the risk of neglecting the unengaged partner, how to facilitate trust even mid-divorce, and actionable ways to elevate family conversations around values and legacy. The message is clear: the future belongs to the advisor who listens deeply, fosters safety, and serves the whole family — not just the one in the room. What You’ll Learn in This Episode 00:00:18 Why the “widow exodus” is a design problem, not just a retention issue00:01:47 The urgency of adapting your practice as women inherit the majority of wealth00:03:40 How communication patterns differ between men and women — and why it matters00:05:24 Practical ways to foster trust and make space for vulnerability in client meetings00:11:12 Building genuine relationships with both spouses, not just the engaged partner00:13:02 Techniques to defuse money tension between couples and promote active listening00:32:01 Supporting grieving clients — why emotional presence matters more than products00:40:26 The gap between perceived and actual listening among advisors (and how to close it)00:43:14 Why using jargon and “advisor-speak” can alienate clients — and what to do instead00:44:07 How women and men may approach legacy conversations differently Notable Quotes from Katie Randall and Lisa Jones “We have to stop putting things in terms of how advisors think and the way that we speak and just really, answer questions and ask questions in a way that clients ask them in, like, a very human way.” — Katie Randall “Advisors are missing the mark. When there’s a death or a divorce, many times the female spouse will change advisors because she hasn’t felt seen or heard in the relationship.” — Lisa Jones “We’re professional problem solvers, but first we really have to be professional problem finders.” — Katie Randall “If you’re not creating space where somebody can cry in your office — and it happens at least once a week — you’re probably not going deep enough.” — Lisa Jones “They don’t want to know what you know; they want to know that you care.” — Lisa Jones “If the efficiency frontier and all this stuff is what you’re focused on, you’re missing what matters to clients.” — Katie Randall Resources Total Family (https://www.totalfamily.io)Prime Capital (https://primefinanciallisa.com)JMP AI (https://jump.ai/)YouTube Channel: Katie Randall, CAIA® | Certified Advisor for Women (https://www.youtube.com/@moneymotherlode) Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    50 min
  2. May 19

    Advisors and AI: What’s Changed, What Hasn’t, and What’s Next with Mat Matthews, Advisor360

    AI isn’t coming for advisors’ jobs. It is quietly reshaping what clients expect, how firms differentiate, and where true value lies. The challenge is simple: will you be transparent about the technology supporting your work or let clients fill in the blanks themselves? In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) sits down with Mat Matthews, Chief Product and Engineering Officer at Advisor360, for a candid conversation about the 2026 Connected Wealth Report and the realities of AI in wealth management. Mat brings a product leader’s clarity to what’s actually changing, what’s just noise, and what matters most for client relationships. The discussion explores why most advisors use AI daily but rarely talk about it with clients and how this silence can create mistrust instead of confidence. Mat and Alex get practical about where AI is delivering value now, why trust still builds slowly, and how firms are scrambling to keep policies current as technology evolves. They also consider how clients’ own use of AI is raising the stakes for transparency and what it means for advisors to move from data wrangling to truly holistic guidance. For advisors wrestling with rapid change, compliance pressures, and rising client expectations, this episode offers a grounded look at what it means to serve families well in a new era. What You’ll Learn in This Episode 04:20 How advisor attitudes about AI have shifted from fear to guarded optimism within a year05:30 Leading AI use cases today, including meeting summaries, CRM, and administrative workflows05:57 Current boundaries around what advisors trust AI to handle, versus what stays human09:13 Why developing clear policies around AI is now essential for your firm20:28 The consequences of not proactively discussing AI with clients, and why avoidance is not neutral25:08 How clients’ growing familiarity with AI affects their advisor relationships29:48 What makes human judgment, empathy, and relationship-building irreplaceable30:22 The expanding role of advisors as generalists managing the full picture of a client’s life, not just investments Notable Quotes from Mat Matthews “You’ve got this weird scenario where three quarters of the industry is benefiting from this new technology, but they’re barely mentioning it to the people it’s supposed to serve.” “When advisors avoid the topic (AI), they’re not creating neutrality. They’re creating a vacuum. And the vacuum is going to get filled by the client.” “Trust is the product in this industry. It’s not a feature. It is the actual service that’s being provided.” “I think the firms play a big role in being on the forefront in saying, 'Here's how we’re using AI responsibly to provide you with better outcomes, with the guardrails and the safety controls that we know are important.'" “If your role is just in data aggregation, to me that’s pretty small… The really good advisors are just going to be helping people with advice.” Resources 2026 Connected Wealth Report, Advisor360Advisor360There’s An AI For That (daily newsletter)Total FamilyAI ToolsClaudeGoogle GeminiChatGPTPerplexityLovableHarvard Business Review - The Future Is Shrouded in an AI Fog Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    38 min
  3. Apr 15

    Lessons From Multi-Billion Dollar Families on Connection and Collaboration with Mark Tepsich, UBS

    Even the wealthiest families can be unprepared for their own complexity. Most advisors aren’t trained to handle what matters most: communication, culture, and preparing the next generation for leadership. In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) is joined by Mark Tepsich, co-author of the UBS Family Enterprise Governance Report. Mark and Alex dive into what governance really looks like for families averaging $2.4 billion in net worth and why many of the biggest lessons apply to families at any asset level. Their conversation goes far beyond documents, highlighting how culture—shared norms and values—shapes both continuity and risk. They unpack the realities behind family constitutions, non-financial meetings, and family retreats, examining practical ways advisors can help clients strengthen alignment and connection. Mark shares why the highest payoff comes from face-to-face connection, how advisors can get over hesitation to lead these conversations, and why integrating the rising generation early is essential for legacy and trust. This episode is a guide for advisors ready to see legacy as a lived, evolving process, not just a set of documents. It urges a move from portfolio talk to family engagement and challenges advisors to expand their comfort zone for deeper, longer-lasting relationships. What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why the process of creating a family constitution is more valuable than the final documentHow highly intentional families keep governance relevant as family structures shiftWhat non-financial family meetings look like—and why most families don’t have themPractical approaches for running meetings and retreats that build family connectionHow advisors can facilitate (or encourage) non-financial conversations, even without outside specialistsThe central role of culture, communication, and ongoing review in successful governanceWhy integrating the rising generation early leads to stronger stewardship and trustWays to move beyond “financial capital” to include values, rituals, and family well-being Notable Quotes from Mark Tepsich “It all comes down to how are you preparing the next generation to navigate that enterprise. Which is really people-centric.” “The value add is that process of talking about that stuff, of spending the time and actually memorializing it.” “You don’t have to have a 400-page family constitution. In fact, I would say you shouldn’t, because you’re not going to know what’s in there.” “Culture is our shared norms, which is how we do things, and our shared values.” “If you freeze it, that means you can’t adapt as a family. And there’s one thing about a family since the beginning of time — you need to adapt to the evolving circumstance of your enterprise or the environment of the world around you.” “There’s a risk in not having that conversation too. The bigger harm is not doing it.” Resources • UBS Family Enterprise Governance Report • UBS Family Advisory and Philanthropy Toolkits • Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    41 min
  4. Mar 23

    Legacy Letters Every Client Needs, with Blake Brewer

    Legacy letters give families the words that outlast any estate plan. Blake Brewer, founder of the Legacy Letter Challenge, joins Alex Kirby to show how wealth advisors can make this practice standard for every HNW client without it feeling heavy or hard to start. If legacy conversations are missing from your client relationships, this is the episode that changes that. Death can come shockingly fast — and with it, a flood of things left unsaid. All the planning in the world means little if families never hear the words that matter most. In this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family) welcomes Blake Brewer, founder of the Legacy Letter Challenge, an organization striving to help 1 million people write at least one Legacy Letter. Blake’s story began with a life-changing letter from his father after a sudden loss at age 19. Today, he helps families and advisors shift from intention to action, sharing what makes a letter truly meaningful and how to move past the common barriers that keep most from ever writing one. Drawing from personal experience and decades of coaching, Blake breaks down the emotional and practical sides of legacy work: the value of apology and vulnerability, why timing matters less than getting started, and how simple frameworks can help families connect and preserve wisdom across generations. At Total Family, we see Legacy Letters as essential to legacy—captured, stored, and shared in our software so they remain accessible and meaningful for years to come. This episode offers advisors concrete strategies to move legacy planning beyond documents, building deeper trust and lasting impact. What You’ll Learn Why most people never write a legacy letter, and what moves them to actHow apology and vulnerability can reshape family relationshipsA step-by-step framework for guiding clients through their first letterWhy starting matters more than timing or formatHow letters build trust and retention across generations after a lossWhy advisors are best placed to turn legacy into actionNotable Quotes from Blake Brewer “I can’t imagine my life without this letter. In the coming days and weeks and months, I never experienced more pain and grief in my life. And my life could have gone a lot of different ways... It was the exact opposite.” “I believe everyone has a legacy letter in their heart, but getting it from your heart to your mind and then to a piece of paper — easier said than done.” “The stories didn’t match up. And so this legacy letter is about getting the story right, like leaving nothing out. No, this is how I feel about you.” Resources • Legacy Letter Challenge (https://www.legacyletter.com/) • Total Family (https://totalfamily.io) Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    43 min
  5. Feb 26

    Complete Family Wealth: The 5 Capitals, with Jay Hughes

    Intergenerational wealth is about far more than money. Legendary family wealth author James E. Hughes returns to Visionary Advisor to walk through the full capital stack: human, intellectual, social, and financial. Advisors who understand complete family wealth are the ones multigenerational families trust and keep for decades. Wealth that isn’t lived as wellbeing is a tragedy—one advisors help write unless they change the story. On this episode of Visionary Advisor, host Alex Kirby (founder, Total Family) is joined by James E. Hughes, who has shaped how the profession thinks about multigenerational wealth. Jay challenges advisors to look past balance sheets, exploring why “wealth” must mean family flourishing, not just the sum of assets. Together, they tackle the problem of sterile planning versus the lived, dynamic “play” of family life. They examine why words matter, the hidden cost of secrecy around money, and how family meetings can either foster connection or leave heirs disengaged. Hughes’s framework—anchored in the Five Forms of Capital—offers a blueprint for helping families grow in ways that numbers alone can’t capture. Advisors will come away with a practical lens for running better family meetings, engaging rising generations, and building trust that endures beyond a liquidity event or loss. What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why redefining “wealth” as wellbeing transforms your client relationshipsThe power of language in legacy work - especially with the rising generationWhat families lose when money is a secretHow to use stories (even failures) to foster resilience and belongingWhy most family plans fall short, and how to shift toward “plays”Steps for structuring family meetings that actually support human capitalNotable Quotes from James E. Hughes “The word wealth…meant well-being. It has never meant anything but that.” “Humans don't live in plans, they live in plays. The problem of plans is they're sterile.” “The purpose of a meeting, any meeting of a family, is to grow its spiritual, social, intellectual, and human self…” Resources Complete Family Wealth, by James E. HughesWhere Are All the Customers' Yachts? Total Family Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    57 min
  6. Feb 11

    The Grief Tax: Showing Up for Families After Loss, with Ron Gura

    When a family loses someone, the grief tax is real, and most wealth advisors are not equipped to help carry it. Ron Gura, CEO of Empathy, joins Alex Kirby to discuss what HNW clients actually need from their advisors during loss and how showing up in those moments builds the kind of trust that survives generations. This conversation will change how you think about client care and legacy planning. Death is not an if — it’s a when. And yet most advisors are never taught how to show up when a client experiences loss. In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby, founder of Total Family, sits down with Ron Gura, co-founder of Empathy, to explore what happens when grief, finance, and responsibility collide. Ron shares insights from Empathy’s research report, The Grief Tax, which examines the emotional, administrative, and financial burden families face after the death of a loved one — and why these challenges are often inseparable. The conversation explores why advisors are uniquely positioned to support families during loss, how well-meaning sympathy can fall short, and what it really means to move from condolences to meaningful action. Alex and Ron also unpack the realities facing the “sandwich generation,” the shortcomings of bereavement leave in the U.S., and why proactive legacy planning — letters, values, conversations, and systems — can ease future hardship even when grief can’t be avoided. This episode challenges advisors to rethink how they show up before and after loss — and how doing so can strengthen trust, continuity, and family relationships across generations. What You’ll Learn in This Episode • Why grief and financial logistics cannot be separated during moments of loss • How the advisor’s role shifts from transaction to relationship after a death • Why heirs may disengage when advisors only show up after a loss occurs • What the “sandwich generation” is facing as they care for children and aging parents simultaneously • Why legacy planning must include emotional preparation, not just legal documents • How proactive systems and conversations can reduce overwhelm when the inevitable happens Notable Quotes from Ron Gura “Grief is made harder by logistics, and logistics are made harder by grief.” “You have to shift from sympathy and condolences to empathy and action.” “This isn’t a one-and-done moment. This is human, messy, and complicated.” “If you want your kids to take care of each other and the surviving spouse when you’re gone, you probably need a week, a month, and a bottle of wine to really talk about it.” “Don’t ask me if I need anything. Tell me what you’re doing to help — and do it.” Resources • The Grief Tax: Empathy’s Annual Research Report  https://www.empathy.com/thegrieftax  • Empathy  https://www.empathy.com/ Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    36 min
  7. Jan 13

    What HNW Families Actually Want from the Great Wealth Transfer

    Harris Poll data shows what HNW families expect from the great wealth transfer, and most advisors are missing the mark on what those families care about most. The research makes clear that values, relationships, and legacy conversations rank higher in client priorities than the financial mechanics of wealth transfer. Advisors who understand this shift are far better positioned to retain rising gen clients. Most wealth advisors think they understand how different generations view legacy and the great wealth transfer. New research from The Harris Poll shows how wrong some of those assumptions can be. In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby, founder of Total Family, sits down with Jennifer Musil, Global President of Custom Research, and Melissa Schweizer, SVP of Financial and Professional Services at The Harris Poll, to unpack findings from America’s Great Wealth Transfer report and a custom legacy study conducted through the lens of the five forms of family capital. The conversation reveals a powerful shift: while money still matters, the rising generation defines legacy in far more human terms. Well-being, personal development, values alignment, and emotional trust now sit at the center of how heirs think about wealth — and whether they stay with their parents’ advisors or leave. This episode challenges advisors to rethink how they approach legacy, communication, and relationship-building ahead of the largest intergenerational wealth transfer in history. What You’ll Learn in This Episode • Why legacy goes beyond financial, with human capital ranking highest in perceived importance • How younger generations define the purpose of wealth differently than prior generations • Why values misalignment and weak personal relationships drive advisor switching risk • What heirs actually want from advisors during and after the wealth transfer • How communication and collaboration shape trust before money ever changes hands Notable Quotes “Legacy goes beyond financial. Human capital rose to the top with 83% saying well-being and development of each family member is a significant contributor to their legacy.” “This is a story about humans wanting to work with other humans and have a relationship.” “Even when people have to pick just one, three quarters say something else other than money matters most.” “Technology can explain the mechanics, but it can’t carry the emotional weight of inheritance.” Resources America’s Great Wealth Transfer Report — The Harris Poll https://theharrispoll.com/insights-news/reports/americas-great-wealth-transfer/ Full Report PDF https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VV152oN7hStk0YItdZ6f6QCjAJdKlM72/view?usp=sharing  Custom Legacy Study: Perceptions of Legacy Go Beyond Financial — The Harris Poll https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TGhbwsUg-eiHfeU574BeO7f8uCqsKocg/view?usp=sharing Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    45 min
  8. 12/15/2025

    What HNW Clients Say About Advisors When You're Not in the Room

    HNW clients talk about their wealth advisors to each other, and most advisors have no idea what those conversations sound like. Matt Shechtman of Long Angle, a private community for high net worth investors, joins Alex Kirby to share candid data on how these clients evaluate and compare advisors in private. If you want to understand what drives HNW client loyalty and referrals, this episode gives you that honest view. Most firms say they serve high net worth clients. Very few actually understand them. As more firms push upmarket toward $50M-plus relationships, a real opportunity is opening for advisors who take the high net worth segment seriously and listen closely to what these clients actually value. In this episode of Visionary Advisor, Alex Kirby talks with Matt Shechtman, CEO of Long Angle, one of the most trusted communities and investment platforms for high net worth families. Long Angle recently released their 2025 High Net Worth Professional Services Report, and the results sparked a wave of conversation for a simple reason: the findings are both measurable and uncomfortable. From why personal trainers and pool service can outscore wealth management in satisfaction, to why only a minority of respondents use a wealth manager at all, this conversation explores the shifting expectations of younger HNW families and what advisors can do to close the value gap with clearer pricing, better integration, and more human, relationship-driven service. What You’ll Learn in This Episode • What the report reveals about satisfaction across professional services, and why the “pool guy vs. wealth manager” takeaway resonated  • Why younger HNW clients increasingly optimize for health, family, and time, not just financial returns • What the $10K-per-year fee conversation is really about, and why transparency and itemization build trust • Why CPA dissatisfaction is often about proactivity and strategic value, not just responsiveness • Why many HNW clients self-manage investments, and what advisors must offer beyond investment management to stay relevant Notable Quotes from Matt Shechtman “Value is probably the number one takeaway from all of this.” “When you have something that you can actually see progress on, that really helps in terms of satisfaction.” “Wealth can be isolating.” “People are desperate for unbiased advice. There’s a disconnect and a lack of trust.” Resources • 2025 High Net Worth Professional Services Report (https://www.longangle.com/research/high-net-worth-professional-services)  • Long Angle (https://www.longangle.com/)  • Matt Shechtman (https://www.linkedin.com/in/msheck/) Send us feedback Stay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn |  Watch episode clips on YouTube

    47 min
5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Welcome to Visionary Advisor, the podcast for forward-thinking wealth advisors who believe the future of wealth management is bigger than portfolios. Each episode brings together influential voices across family wealth, planning, psychology, legacy, and client experience to explore what HNW and UHNW advisors should be paying attention to now. We’ll talk about how great advisors grow organically, build deeper relationships across generations, and help families turn wealth into something more durable: clarity, connection, and legacy. Because the firms that win the next decade will be the ones that serve the whole family, earn trust with the rising generation, and make legacy feel practical. Keep doing legacy better, more at totalfamily.io

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