Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity

Leslie Mathews
  • 5.0 (7)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Pulling Threads is a podcast for women navigating life, career, past and current trauma, breakups and divorce, motherhood, reinvention, and the brave work of becoming who they’re meant to be. Hosted by therapist, coach, and founder of The LooM Life, Leslie Mathews, JD, MSW, this show blends trauma-informed guidance, nervous system education, and meaningful conversations about the patterns that shape our relationships, identity, and purpose. Each episode explores the complicated places where life asks us to grow — healing from emotional abuse, rebuilding after divorce, midlife identity shifts, attachment wounds, dating again, motherhood, and rediscovering your voice. Many guests share their own stories of reinvention, entrepreneurship, career pivots, and stepping into authenticity, offering inspiration and practical wisdom for women building new chapters. Through expert interviews, personal storytelling, and mindfulness-based tools, Pulling Threads supports women who are healing, expanding, and creating aligned lives and businesses. It’s a space for those navigating toxic dynamics, strengthening emotional regulation, or following the pull toward something more authentic and more fulfilling. If you’re ready to untangle old patterns, trust your intuition, and weave a life — and identity — that feels grounded, empowered, and true, this podcast is where your next chapter begins.

  1. 5h ago

    What Women Get Wrong About Divorce: A Lawyer’s Hard Truths

    Divorce advice for women from an attorney who has spent 20 years representing women only. Heather Quick, founder and CEO of Florida Women's Law Group, joins Leslie to share what two decades of women's stories have taught her about courage, boundaries, and becoming, and the hard truths about divorce that no one prepares you for. Heather built a Jacksonville family law firm where women represent women, and in this conversation she pulls back the curtain on the parts of divorce that blindside so many of us: why the financial affidavit feels impossible (and why accuracy is your protection), what child support actually covers, and what it never will, why the house you're fighting for may be the thing draining you, and why the first six months are for feeling, not deciding. She and Leslie also get honest about mediation, preparation, and the choice at the center of it all: will you be the victim of this divorce, or the heroine of it? Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the middle of it, or rebuilding after, this episode is a masterclass in walking through one of life's hardest seasons with clarity, preparation, and self-trust. Because your story doesn't end when a relationship does, sometimes that's exactly where it begins. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Welcome & meet Heather Quick 02:00 From prosecutor to family law 04:30 Why a law firm for women only 08:00 The compassion gap in family law 09:30 Your lawyer is not your therapist 11:00 Starting with YOUR goals, not their assumptions 14:30 How prepared clients win mediations 19:00 The six-month rule: feel first, decide later 20:00 50/50 time-sharing, the kids & the house 25:00 The financial affidavit: overwhelm to armor 30:30 Footnotes, receipts & being questioned in court 33:00 What child support actually covers 36:30 Extracurriculars, medical costs & future expenses 42:00 Strategy over survival mode 44:30 Victim or heroine: the choice is yours 47:30 The fears that come true, and the ones that don't 52:30 Grief, goodbye ceremonies & closure 54:30 Yoga, breath & your nervous system 57:30 Real women's stories: life after divorce 01:02:30 Where to find Heather CONNECT WITH HEATHER QUICK: Firm Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4womenlaw/ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenwinningdivorce_/ Heather's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherquick_/ Women Winning Divorce Podcast: https://women-winning divorce.captivate.fm YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FloridaWomensLawGroup LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherbquick/ READY FOR SUPPORT? If you're a woman navigating divorce and you're done doing it alone, THROUGH is my 8- week divorce coaching program built to help you move from surviving to becoming: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram CONNECT WITH LESLIE: Website: https://theloomlife.com Therapy (Florida): https://loomlifetherapy.com Personal: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews SUPPORT RESOURCES: Divorce can bring up more than any of us expect. If you're struggling, you don't have to carry it alone, call or text 988 (US) or find free, confidential support worldwide at https://findahelpline.com #DivorceAdviceForWomen #DivorceRecovery #FamilyLaw #WomenSupportingWomen #PullingThreadsPodcast

  2. Aug 18

    ’Til Death Do Us Part Is the Easiest Vow You’ll Make

    'Til death do us part is the easiest vow you'll ever make, and that's exactly the problem. This is Part 2 of The Six Words, a series about the promise almost all of us have made and almost none of us have questioned. In Part 1, I traced where those words came from, and how "'til death" once meant roughly nineteen years, not sixty. This episode asks a harder question: not how long the promise lasts, but how little it costs to make it. Standing at the altar, forever asks nothing of you the next morning. And the research on long marriages keeps landing in the same place: once we're certain someone isn't going anywhere, we quietly stop courting them. We save our warmest, most patient selves for coworkers, friends, and strangers on the internet, people who could actually walk away, and hand the person we promised the most our leftovers. The security the vow was meant to give us is the same security that can turn into stagnation. So I want to offer a different promise. Smaller, harder, and braver: I still choose you. Forever points at a future you can't see or control. Still points at this ordinary morning, this actual person, this real relationship with all its wear and tear. You can only keep that one by staying awake to it. This one is for anyone considering marriage, in a marriage, or wondering whether they'd do it differently next time. No blame the whole way through. ▸ WATCH PART 1 FIRST: https://youtu.be/QELnaOhElTU CHAPTERS 00:00 — Forever Is the Easy Vow (The Backwards Idea) 00:55 — Welcome to Part Two of The Six Words 01:50 — Recap: Where 'Til Death Do Us Part Came From 02:40 — What Does the Vow Actually Cost You? 03:35 — The Overnight Shift: "Now We Can Coast" 04:10 — Gray Divorce and a Promise That Never Checks In 05:10 — Why We Save Our Best Selves for Strangers 06:10 — Turning Away: The Micro-Moments That Disappear 07:25 — Leslie's Own Marriage: "Everything Changed" 08:25 — What the Research Says About Long Marriages 09:40 — When Security Turns Into Stagnation 10:30 — Owning the House vs. Renting the House 11:55 — Nobody Has to Put Up With You Forever 12:45 — This Is Not About Making Your Partner Afraid 13:45 — The Higher Bar: "I Keep Choosing You" 15:15 — "Still" Points at Right Now 16:35 — You Don't Need a Ceremony to Start Choosing Again 18:05 — Coming Next in the Series + Where to Find Support WORK WITH ME If this landed and you want to do this work with support, book a 1:1 discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call FIND ME EVERYWHERE Coaching & podcast — theloomlife.com Therapy practice (Florida) — loomlifetherapy.com Personal site — leslieellenmathews.com Instagram — @the.loom.life TikTok — @leslieellenmathews A NOTE ON SUPPORT This episode touches on relationship strain, divorce, and the grief of feeling unchosen. If you are struggling, you deserve real support. In the US, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Outside the US, find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. Subscribe so you catch Part 3, on why we fall out of love, and why nobody warned us. Keywords: marriage vows, 'til death do us part meaning, why marriages fail, gray divorce, taking each other for granted, how to rebuild connection in a marriage, staying in love long term, relationship coaching, marriage advice for couples, personal growth podcast for women #PullingThreads #TheSixWords #MarriageAdvice #GrayDivorce #RelationshipGrowth

  3. Aug 11

    Till Death Do Us Part: The Vow We Stretched by 38 Years

    “Till death do us part” was written in 1549, when the average person lived to 43. It promised about 19 years. Today it is asked to cover 57. Same six words. Nearly triple the sentence. And we have been quietly blaming ourselves for the difference ever since. If you have ever stood in a hard season of a long marriage and wondered what is wrong with you, this one is for you. ─────────────── WORK WITH ME Book a 1:1 coaching call → https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call ─────────────── In this first episode of a new series, Leslie Mathews pulls apart the most sacred six words we have. Not to argue against marriage, she is emphatic that she is not anti-marriage, but to ask whether a promise calibrated for two decades can honestly carry five. She traces the vow back to Thomas Cranmer and the 1549 Book of Common Prayer, where the original line read “till death us depart.” She looks at what changed between then and now: gray divorce, longer lives, remarriage, and a legal system that makes leaving punishing. And she makes the case that the problem is not the length of the promise at all, it is that we confused the word with the thing. Forever is easy. It costs nothing at the altar because it asks nothing of you tomorrow morning. Presence is hard. Presence is choosing someone on an ordinary Tuesday when the dishwasher is broken and nobody is watching. And if your marriage already ended: you did not fail at forever. Forever was never the thing. The choosing every day was the thing. CHAPTERS 00:20 The Warning: I’m About to Ruffle Some Feathers 01:10 A Promise Written When People Died at 43 02:30 Welcome to Pulling Threads 03:00 To Be Clear: I Am Not Anti-Marriage 03:50 Thomas Cranmer, 1549, and “Till Death Us Depart” 04:30 The Math Nobody Tells You: 19 Years 05:30 Gray Divorce and the Glow-Up 06:10 From 19 Years to 57 Years 07:00 Where the Shame Actually Comes From 07:50 My Own Nineteen Years 08:40 Blame the Programming, Not Yourself 09:30 Forever Is Easy. Presence Is Hard. 11:10 The Loom: Cloth Left Unattended Unravels 12:45 The Irony, We Stop Trying Because We Promised 13:35 Keep Dating the Person You Married 14:20 What Would You Promise Now? 15:00 If Your Marriage Already Ended THIS IS PART 1 Over the next few weeks: the research, what an unhappy marriage does to your body, the pushback, and the vow I would write instead. Subscribe so you catch the rest. ALSO FROM THE LOOM LIFE THROUGH, divorce coaching for women, mentioned in this episode: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram FIND ME The Loom Life → https://theloomlife.com Loom Life Therapy → https://loomlifetherapy.com Leslie Ellen Mathews → https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram → https://instagram.com/the.loom.life TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews A NOTE ON SUPPORT This episode touches on marriage strain, divorce, and grief. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone. In the US you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. Outside the US, findahelpline.com will point you to local support. Nothing here is therapy or a substitute for it. TELL ME What would you promise now, knowing what that word actually asks of you? I read the comments. Keywords: till death do us part meaning, wedding vows history, marriage vows explained, gray divorce, how to heal after divorce, rebuilding identity after divorce, long marriage problems, personal growth podcast for women over 40, mental health podcast for women, relationship coaching #TillDeathDoUsPart #MarriageVows #GrayDivorce #DivorceRecovery #PullingThreads

  4. Aug 6

    Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: Why Your Brain Bonds to Pain

    Trauma bonding is not weakness. It is neurobiology. In this teaching session, therapist and coach Leslie Mathews explains exactly what happens in your brain and body inside an emotionally abusive relationship -- and why leaving is so much harder than anyone outside it understands. Ready for structured, guided support through your divorce? THROUGH is my 8-week divorce coaching program for women: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ABOUT THIS EPISODE If you have ever asked yourself why you cannot just walk away -- or why you keep going back to someone who hurts you -- this episode is the answer, and it has nothing to do with your character. Leslie walks through the four-stage cycle that keeps people bonded: idealization and love bombing, devaluing and gaslighting, the discard and silent treatment, and hoovering, when the charm comes back and pulls you in again. She explains intermittent reinforcement -- why unpredictable warmth builds a far stronger attachment than steady, reliable love -- and then breaks down the specific brain chemistry underneath it: dopamine driving the seeking and the craving, oxytocin physically reattaching you to the person hurting you, and cortisol and adrenaline holding you in fight-or-flight, hypervigilance, and walking on eggshells. She also explains why the prefrontal cortex -- your rational, decision-making brain -- goes offline under chronic stress while the amygdala takes over, which is why it becomes so difficult to think your way out of a relationship that is harming you, and why distance from the person makes clarity possible. The session closes with cognitive dissonance: the experience of holding two contradictory truths at once -- this person is harming me, and this person is my person -- and how the mind minimizes harm to survive that contradiction. Plus the practical ties that keep people in place: money, children, a shared home, a future already built. Staying is not a character flaw. It is a neurobiological one, and it can be understood and undone. This episode opens with a short grounding meditation. If you would like to skip straight to the teaching, use the chapters below. This is Part 1 of a series. Upcoming episodes cover how to leave, and how to protect yourself if you are choosing to stay. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHAT YOU WILL LEARN - The four phases of the narcissistic and emotional abuse cycle, and how each one hooks you - Why intermittent reinforcement creates a stronger bond than consistent love - What the craving to reach out actually is -- and why naming it as chemical changes everything - The role of dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol, and adrenaline in keeping you attached - Why your thinking brain goes offline and your survival brain takes over - What a trauma bond is, and why you cannot fight what you believe is only love - How cognitive dissonance minimizes harm, and how to recognize it in yourself - Why letting go of the shame is the first real step in recovery CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome -- who this session is for 02:20 Grounding meditation 05:40 Why the neuroscience removes the shame 07:00 A personal note from Leslie 10:15 The abuse cycle: idealization and love bombing 11:40 Devaluing, coldness, and gaslighting 13:10 The discard phase and hoovering 13:45 The covert devaluing most people miss 14:45 Why the relief is what hooks us 15:45 Intermittent reinforcement explained 16:45 Dopamine and the chemical craving 19:15 Oxytocin and physical reattachment 20:45 Cortisol, adrenaline, and the offline thinking brain 22:20 What a trauma bond actually is 24:15 Cognitive dissonance: holding two truths at once 26:00 Eroded self-worth and the ties that keep us 27:45 Staying is not a character flaw 28:30 What is coming next in this series SUPPORT RESOURCES If you are in immediate danger, call 911. National Domestic Violence Hotline (US) -- call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Free, confidential, and available 24/7. 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US) -- call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Outside the US, please search for your local domestic violence or crisis line. - WORK WITH LESLIE The Loom Life -- coaching, programs, and resources: https://theloomlife.com Loom Life Therapy -- therapy for clients in Florida: https://loomlifetherapy.com CONNECT Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@parandpeace --------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this episode helped you, the most useful thing you can do is subscribe and leave a comment -- it helps someone else searching for this at 2am actually find it. Please note: this episode is educational and is not therapy, diagnosis, or a substitute for individual mental health care or safety planning.

  5. Aug 4

    Burnout Recovery for Working Moms: Why Hustle Fails

    Burnout recovery is not a personal willpower problem — and if you are a working parent trying to hold a demanding job and a full life at the same time, this conversation will name something you have been carrying quietly. Leslie sits down with Jessica Lattif, founder of Not Working in Tech, a platform and community challenging toxic workplace culture and the myth that burnout is just the price of success. Jessica spent more than a decade in the tech industry, rising to senior engineering manager, before a string of illnesses, a chaotic team, and a performance plan led her to take medical leave — and never go back. Together they get into what actually drives burnout: the unspoken cultural rules that punish anyone who is neurodiverse or simply unconventional, the impossible math of caregiving alongside a job that expects round-the-clock availability, and the way hustle culture asks individuals to solve problems that were never individual to begin with. Jessica also shares why she now tells clients to take the leave they have already earned, and what it looked like to rebuild a working life on her own terms. If this one lands, the invitation at the end is simple: you do not have to figure out the next chapter alone. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ WORK WITH LESLIE ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Book a 1:1 coaching discovery call → https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call Coaching + programs → https://theloomlife.com Therapy (Florida clients) → https://loomlifetherapy.com Leslie Ellen Mathews → https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram → @the.loom.life TikTok → @leslieellenmathews ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ CONNECT WITH JESSICA LATTIF ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Not Working in Tech → https://www.notworkingintech.com Instagram → @notworkingintech TikTok → @notworkingintech LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/company/not-working-in-tech ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ CHAPTERS ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 00:00 Welcome & meet Jessica Latif 01:18 Growing up between cultures and feeling like an outsider 07:30 From nutrition policy to sustainable seafood 13:15 An unexpected path into tech 15:15 Career pivots, imposter syndrome & starting over 17:25 "Family friendly" doesn't always mean parent friendly 18:10 What working in tech was really like 21:00 Burnout, motherhood & becoming the first parent on leave 23:15 The job that pushed her to the breaking point 27:30 How burnout quietly builds over time 30:00 Can employers access your mental health data? 33:20 Why taking leave can change everything 36:10 Entrepreneurship, hustle culture & the social safety net 40:35 How Jessica helps people recover from burnout 42:40 Why burnout isn't something to solve alone 45:00 Hidden resources most people never hear about 47:10 Building Not Working in Tech 49:45 Why teachers, healthcare workers & parents are burning out 53:00 Why young people are rethinking work and family 54:10 Envisioning a healthier future for work 55:10 Final thoughts and Closing ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ SUPPORT RESOURCES ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ This episode discusses burnout, workplace discrimination, and mental health. If you are struggling, support is available. US — call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) Outside the US — find a helpline at https://findahelpline.com This podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or legal advice. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ KEYWORDS ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ burnout recovery, working mom burnout, tech industry burnout, toxic workplace culture, taking medical leave for burnout, neurodivergent at work, hustle culture, life coach for women in transition, mental health podcast for women, career burnout support #BurnoutRecovery #WorkingMomBurnout #ToxicWorkplace #PullingThreads #TheLoomLife

  6. Jul 28

    Rebuilding Confidence After Leaving: Taking Up Space Again

    Rebuilding confidence after starting over doesn’t happen all at once. It happens one small, brave choice at a time. In this episode of Pulling Threads, Cammy De shares what it really looks like to reclaim your voice and take up space again while you’re still in the middle of healing. Cammy didn’t expect to be starting over at forty. A mother of three, farmer, speaker, and stand-up comedian, she’s rebuilding her life after leaving an abusive marriage and business partnership, walking away not just from a relationship, but from a successful career, a way of life, and the communities that came with it. Instead of waiting until she has it all figured out, she talks openly about healing in real time: the uncertainty, the grief, the small wins, the laughter, and the surprising ways we find our way back to ourselves. She and Leslie get honest about the fog that only lifts once you get distance, why confidence built on achievement can vanish overnight, and what it means to rebuild, a career, a voice, and a sense of self, without an existing platform. They also talk about the tools that actually help: humor, stand-up comedy, listening to your body, and letting healing move in seasons. In this conversation: • Living a “double life,” confident in public, silenced in private • How clarity comes only after you create distance • Rebuilding confidence from who you are, not what you’ve done • Finding the joke in what was meant to hurt you • Reclaiming your voice (and the surprisingly hard “mirror practice”) • The role AI, algorithms, and podcasts played in her healing • How to know when to rest versus when to push forward If you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else and lost touch with your own voice, this one is for you. 👉 Follow Cammy: @Cammy.De.Speaks on Instagram and Facebook. 💬 If this resonated, leave a comment with the one small brave thing you did today, and subscribe for more honest conversations about rebuilding, reclaiming your voice, and taking up space. ⏰Chapters: 00:00 Welcome & meet Cammy De 00:40 Starting over after divorce at 40 01:45 Building a successful farm while being silenced 05:10 Why clarity only came after leaving 09:25 "The clarity came when I walked out the door" 11:20 Gaslighting, finding support, and rebuilding confidence 17:25 Leaving everything behind to reclaim herself 22:45 Finding her voice after abuse 24:40 Rebuilding confidence from within 28:30 Starting over one small step at a time 32:00 Using comedy to reclaim power 33:05 Reclaiming your voice after being silenced 42:40 Why hearing other women's stories matters 43:35 Learning to rest instead of constantly pushing 49:45 Healing through life's seasons 54:00 Recreating the life you thought you lost 56:35 Celebrating small wins while healing 1:02:00 The relief that comes after divorce 1:05:30 "You are worth it" 1:06:40 Where to find Cammy De Keywords: rebuilding confidence, starting over at 40, reclaiming your voice, healing after abuse, taking up space, healing in real time, midlife reinvention, rebuilding your life, women rebuilding, finding your voice again #RebuildingConfidence #ReclaimYourVoice #StartingOver #TakingUpSpace #PullingThreads

  7. Jul 21

    The Neuroscience of Heartbreak: Why You Feel Stuck & How to Heal

    The neuroscience of why heartbreak physically hurts — and how to rewire a brain stuck in survival mode. In this episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews welcomes her first-ever male guest, mental health creator and coach Collin Patrick, for an honest conversation about overthinking, emotional regulation, and rebuilding a life after everything falls apart. After a near-fatal motorcycle accident left him bedridden for months — during the same stretch his marriage ended — Collin turned a season of grief and recovery into a deep dive into neuroscience. Together, he and Leslie unpack why your brain keeps steering you back toward familiar pain, why feeling stuck is a pattern problem (not a motivation problem), and what real emotional regulation actually looks like day to day. They also get candid about men and anger, the pressure of “be the man of the house,” and the difference between leading and simply managing the people you love. WHAT WE COVER • How overthinking becomes a learned habit that quietly shapes your identity • Why heartbreak registers in the brain like a physical injury — and what that means for healing • The pull of “familiar pain over unknown peace” and why we repeat relationship patterns • Clarity over solutions: what most self-help gets wrong • What anger is often masking for men — and the emotions underneath it • How small, daily wins compound into real, lasting change CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome — meeting Collin Patrick 01:15 The motorcycle accident that changed everything 05:00 Hitting rock bottom and facing himself 08:00 How healing led him to neuroscience 10:30 Your brain is doing exactly what it was programmed to do 13:00 Why self-awareness matters more than quick fixes 16:30 Trauma bonds and the chemistry of attachment 20:00 The neuroscience of heartbreak and emotional pain 24:30 Why survival mode disconnects you from yourself 27:00 Familiar pain vs. unknown peace 31:00 Small daily choices that rewire the brain 38:00 Why lasting change comes from tiny wins 43:00 Reacting vs. responding with intention 47:00 Healing your identity instead of chasing motivation 53:00 Confidence is built through evidence, not affirmations 59:00 Reprogramming your brain for happiness 1:03:00 How Collin helps people transform their lives 1:06:00 Where to find Collin and his resources CONNECT WITH LESLIE — THE LOOM LIFE Coaching & podcast: https://theloomlife.com Therapy (Florida clients): https://loomlifetherapy.com Leslie Ellen Mathews: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews CONNECT WITH COLLIN PATRICK Instagram / TikTok / Threads: @Collin.Patrick.Health Still Moving Journal: https://collinpatrickhealth.gumroad.com/l/stillmovingjournal 1:1 coaching: booking link in Collin’s Instagram bio WORK WITH LESLIE If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to understand your own patterns and rebuild from a steadier place, Leslie offers 1:1 coaching. Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call A NOTE ON SUPPORT This episode touches on grief, trauma, addiction, and the aftermath of hard relationships. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. Outside the U.S., findahelpline.com lists free, confidential support in your country. Keywords: neuroscience of heartbreak, why heartbreak hurts, survival mode nervous system, overthinking, emotional regulation, healing after a toxic relationship, trauma bonds, men’s mental health, nervous system regulation, how men heal after a breakup #MentalHealthPodcast #Neuroscience #HealingJourney #MensMentalHealth #PullingThreads

  8. Jul 14

    She Left a 6-Figure Career to Heal Her Marriage

    What happens when a high-achieving wife and mom walks away from a 15-year, six-figure career to heal her body, her marriage, and her family? In this conversation, Kayla Licari shares how leaving her physician assistant career unraveled the deeper truth she had been carrying, chronic back pain, chest pain, anxiety, and a marriage held together by white-knuckling and self-abandonment. Kayla and Leslie unpack what it really looks like when two people heal alongside each other through complex PTSD (CPTSD), nervous system dysregulation, and the cycles of rupture and repair that most couples never get language for. This is honest, embodied conversation about the science of the nervous system, the wisdom of the body, and the slow daily work of rebuilding intimacy, including the parts most podcasts skip over: low libido as data, self-abandonment as the hidden cost of high achievement, and how to broach the hardest conversations with your partner without it blowing up in your face. Whether you're in the messy middle of your own healing, considering whether your marriage can come back to life, or simply trying to understand why your body keeps speaking up when your mind says everything is fine, this episode is full of practical, compassionate insight. TIMESTAMP 00:00 Introduction to Kayla Licari 02:00 Leaving a 15-year PA career 05:00 Burnout, stress, and choosing family first 08:10 Financial security vs. self-abandonment 12:00 Why high-achieving women struggle to ask for help 14:00 Understanding complex PTSD 18:20 How childhood experiences shape relationships 22:20 Healing together instead of growing apart 30:00 Navigating conflict through nervous system awareness 37:15 How unhealthy relationship dynamics affect your health 42:00 When growth together can save a relationship 46:20 Stress, libido, and emotional connection 52:10 Staying connected through marriage and parenting 58:00 Receiving love, pleasure, and intimacy 01:04:45 Why every challenge can strengthen your relationship 01:08:15 How to talk about intimacy without blame 01:12:15 What to do when you've lost desire 01:16:00 When staying isn't the right choice 01:19:10 Healing together changes every relationship ✦ WORK WITH LESLIE ✦ → THROUGH, 8-Week Divorce Coaching Program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram → 1:1 Coaching, Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com → Loom Life Therapy (EMDR & IFS): https://loomlifetherapy.com ✦ CONNECT WITH KAYLA LICARI ✦ → Instagram: @kayla.licari → Instagram: @happywivesandhusbands ✦ FOLLOW LESLIE ✦ → Website: https://theloomlife.com → Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com → Instagram: @the.loom.life → TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ✦ IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT ✦ • Leaving a six-figure career to prioritize family, marriage, and health • Body symptoms as nervous system messages, back pain, chest pain, anxiety • What complex PTSD (CPTSD) actually is and why it isn't in the DSM • Healing alongside a partner with complex trauma • Individual work vs. shared work in a marriage • Rupture, repair, and abandonment wounds • Low libido as data, what your body is telling you about your marriage • Lifestyle drivers of sex drive (sleep, sunlight, alone time, connection) • How to broach hard conversations without defensiveness • Setting boundaries with partners, kids, and family • Authenticity and the full-body yes ✦ MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE ✦ → When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Maté → Internal Family Systems (IFS) → EMDR therapy → Esther Perel → Human Design Subscribe so you don't miss new episodes of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity. If this episode resonated, the kindest thing you can do is leave a rating and review. It helps other women find this conversation. Keywords: complex PTSD healing, CPTSD in marriage, nervous system regulation couples, healing marriage trauma, rupture and repair, low libido marriage, somatic healing women, leaving high-achieving career, burnout recovery women, IFS parts work, self-abandonment, holistic marriage healing #PullingThreadsPodcast #TheLoomLife #MarriagePodcast #NervousSystemHealing #CPTSD #WomensHealing #BurnoutRecovery

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7 Ratings

About

Pulling Threads is a podcast for women navigating life, career, past and current trauma, breakups and divorce, motherhood, reinvention, and the brave work of becoming who they’re meant to be. Hosted by therapist, coach, and founder of The LooM Life, Leslie Mathews, JD, MSW, this show blends trauma-informed guidance, nervous system education, and meaningful conversations about the patterns that shape our relationships, identity, and purpose. Each episode explores the complicated places where life asks us to grow — healing from emotional abuse, rebuilding after divorce, midlife identity shifts, attachment wounds, dating again, motherhood, and rediscovering your voice. Many guests share their own stories of reinvention, entrepreneurship, career pivots, and stepping into authenticity, offering inspiration and practical wisdom for women building new chapters. Through expert interviews, personal storytelling, and mindfulness-based tools, Pulling Threads supports women who are healing, expanding, and creating aligned lives and businesses. It’s a space for those navigating toxic dynamics, strengthening emotional regulation, or following the pull toward something more authentic and more fulfilling. If you’re ready to untangle old patterns, trust your intuition, and weave a life — and identity — that feels grounded, empowered, and true, this podcast is where your next chapter begins.

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