The Brian Comstock Podcast

Brian Comstock
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The Brian Comstock Podcast. Insight delivered on some basis. Getting yourself back: boundaries, people-pleasing, nervous system recovery, sleep, training, getting over an ex, and the mindset shifts that actually move you. Hosted by Brian Comstock, coach and Certified Integrative Psychology Practitioner. Some weeks it's a guest. Some weeks it's just me working through what I've figured out, and what I'm still figuring out. No guru voice. Just the stuff I'd tell a friend. YouTube: youtube.com/@Brian.Comstock IG: @brian.comstock Work with me: briancomstock.co

  1. 3d ago

    Why Smart People Quit Too Early, Undiagnosed Sleep Apnea, the 90-Day Review & Is My Job Pointless?

    How long should you stick with something before you're allowed to doubt it? Nik and I picked up where we left off last time: when to zoom in and when to zoom out. My rule has always been "when in doubt, zoom out." Nik pushed back. Smart people are full of doubt, so they zoom out too often and quit before the thing has had time to work. His fix: be smart 20% of the time, and just do the steps the other 80%. What we got into: 😴 Why you can't know better sleep exists until you've had it 🧠 Diagnosed with ADHD late, because there was always another explanation 🩺 The health checks nobody tells you to ask for 🗓️ The 90-day review: 10 years, then 3, then 1, then the next 90 days 📞 The cold caller who blamed the list 🎯 High conviction, low accuracy 🔭 When in doubt, zoom out (and why Nik disagrees) 🎓 Why wisdom is BS 💼 "What I'm doing has no intrinsic value": middlemen, recruiters and meaning 🎮 Private equity vs Valve and Steam 🍼 The algorithm that knew she was pregnant 🌍 Falling birth rates, immigration and why it's a system problem, not a people problem My favorite line, a riff on Bertrand Russell: all the smart people are filled with doubt, and all the dumb people are filled with confidence. Guest: Nik Bakhshalian Watch the full episode on YouTube CHAPTERS 00:00 Smart sometimes, dumb most of the time 00:25 Picking up where we left off 01:33 "How's it going?" has no good answer 04:00 The Uber driver from Ukraine 07:54 Physics is the only rule 08:38 You can't know better sleep exists 09:36 No inner monologue? 12:40 Is it ADHD, or is it sleep? 15:08 Why some people never get diagnosed 16:20 Diagnosed late: there was always another reason 18:21 Check your sleep, check your gums 20:37 Brushed off by doctors 24:25 Think in bursts, then do the thing 25:56 Traction, EOS & a 20% jump 26:30 Visionary vs integrator 27:52 The 90-day review 28:59 The cold caller who blamed the list 30:24 High conviction, low accuracy 31:40 Persist or pivot? 34:00 The confidence to say "I don't know" 35:21 Smart people are filled with doubt 35:51 When in doubt, zoom out 36:43 Nik's challenge: smart people zoom out too often 38:59 Be smart 20% of the time 40:43 Why wisdom is BS 42:05 You can make money doing anything 46:52 "My work has no intrinsic value" 48:47 Learning to hunt 50:06 Private equity 51:48 Why nobody can beat Steam 53:30 Rework & never taking investor money 54:05 Systems thinking: and then what? 55:10 Falling birth rates 57:24 Universe 25: are we in captivity? 58:15 Your devices are listening 59:21 The algorithm knew she was pregnant 1:01:03 If it's meant for you, it'll find you 1:01:40 Can immigration fix falling birth rates? 1:03:14 Integration, from an immigrant's view 1:05:43 We're tribal by nature 1:07:11 Paying into pensions you won't get 1:09:02 When in doubt, zoom out: it's the system 1:09:37 Get your sleep checked Host: Brian Comstock Transformation Artist | Coach Instagram: @brian.comstock The Brian Comstock Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

  2. Oct 26

    Former SAS Operator on How to Love Yourself as a Man, Feathers Then Bricks & Three Tests for Purpose

    What would change if you actually liked your own company? Nico, a former SAS operator, starts with the basics in the first few minutes: fill your own cup first, because nobody gets the best of you while you're running on empty. Last time Nico was on, I interviewed him. This time we flipped the tables. I'm near the end of his eight-week flagship program at The Order, so I'm a little raw, mid-journey, and I wanted to talk through what it's been like. What we got into:🫗 Why you have to fill your own cup first🎪 Why we keep going back to the same chaos, and how to stop attending🔦 The presenting problem vs the root cause (the problem is a trailhead)🪶 The universe speaks in feathers, then bricks, then a semi truck🧭 Nico's three tests for your purpose (money isn't one of them)⛽ The $30 tank of gas that changed a stranger's life🐊 The Steve Irwin Effect💛 Self love, and why it changes who you let into your life🪞 Why the mirror doesn't lie🏺 Brotherhood, and putting it back together with gold (kintsugi)🧘 Phones vs presence, and falling in love with meditation My bumper sticker on all of it: I won't deal with people on an ongoing basis if they don't have a sufficient degree of accountability and ownership (friends, dates, Zoom calls, all of it). And yes, my hamstring got the message too. Message received. Guest: Nico Seedsman, founder of The Order. Navy at 17, SAS at 21, 12 years in uniform.The Order · The Order on Instagram Disclosure: I work with The Order and get paid for that work. Watch the full episode on YouTube This episode includes a brief mention of suicide. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Outside the US, find a helpline near you. CHAPTERS00:00 When you truly love yourself00:12 Flipping the tables00:53 What The Order is04:10 There's no Batman08:09 A little raw, mid-journey12:42 Why you keep attending the circus18:57 Be the main character, not an NPC20:08 Presenting problem vs root cause25:14 My bumper sticker: accountability or nothing26:42 What men want most: respect30:08 Side quest: drones, AI & sovereignty35:38 Let it burn41:44 A dignified way for men to do the work47:07 Feathers, then bricks, then a semi truck48:55 My hamstring: message received51:13 Nico's rock bottom55:49 The seven health spectrums58:48 Leading with invitations1:02:18 The hardest question I could ask Nico1:03:57 Three tests for your purpose1:07:53 A $30 tank of gas1:11:49 A pact at his grandparents' grave1:15:37 The Steve Irwin Effect1:17:08 What eight weeks taught me1:20:41 Stepping into love1:23:04 The mirror doesn't lie1:24:38 Deathbed regrets1:30:25 Brotherhood & kintsugi1:35:33 Divine timing & a sealed letter at Burning Man1:41:49 Phones vs presence1:44:13 Falling in love with meditation1:51:28 Judo your own identity1:54:01 Interviews are bad acting1:58:41 Lead and follow1:59:37 Where to find The Order Host: Brian ComstockTransformation Artist | CoachInstagram: @brian.comstock The Brian Comstock Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

  3. Oct 16

    Dream Engineering, AI's Blind Spot, the Ego Trap & Why I Quit Everything I'm Good At

    What if you could draw last night's dream, then give the bad ones a better ending? I've wanted to draw my dreams for three-plus years, but I wasn't about to pay a designer every morning to do it. With AI, I finally can. Then the very next podcast I listened to was Tim Ferriss's Random Show on dream engineering: studies where people signal with their eyes from inside a dream, and where giving a bad dream a better ending helped people with PTSD. Which sounds a lot like how EMDR works. From there, Nik and I went everywhere:🌙 Drawing my dreams with AI (remembering them is a muscle)🧠 Dream engineering, rewriting nightmares and the subconscious🤖 Why ChatGPT is losing the AI race, and why AI is a tool, not the expert💀 The fake NFL player AI believed, and dead internet theory🧘 Why even monks play status games (and the big ego about having no ego)🚪 Why I quit everything I'm good at, right around year four Plus the day I ran into the smartest guy from my high school (then at Pinterest) and told him, "The smartest people are doing the dumbest things." He said, "I completely agree with you. I'm actually on my way out." By far my favorite episode we've done (Nik says they just keep getting better, and I'm not going to argue). CHAPTERS00:00 Giving a bad dream a better ending00:26 The placeholder genius award01:33 Drawing my dreams with AI04:36 "We're hiring a squirrel for HR"07:09 Dream engineering & rewriting nightmares09:21 Intuition vs the rational mind10:19 Why ChatGPT is losing the AI race11:59 The rational mind as advisor to the king16:22 AI is a tool, not the expert19:13 Delegating vs abdicating21:05 If AI were a person, everyone would hate it23:09 The fake NFL player AI believed25:54 Dead internet theory29:06 From 6 hours to 45 minutes with AI33:35 The enlightenment paradox38:50 The energy has to go somewhere40:08 Even monks play status games41:23 A big ego about not having an ego45:52 The midwit meme47:25 Why being dangerous is good48:53 Gandalf, power & capacity54:25 The genius who quit Pinterest56:33 Is potential power?59:01 Just pick one thing1:02:13 Too many focuses aren't focuses1:05:18 My biggest weakness1:06:32 Diminishing returns1:07:21 Why we need to be needed1:10:54 Zoom in, do the task, zoom out1:12:18 Teeing up the next episode1:14:14 Outro Guest: Nik Bakhshalian Host: Brian ComstockTransformation Artist | CoachInstagram: @brian.comstock Watch the full episode on YouTube The Brian Comstock Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

  4. Oct 10

    ADHD Motivation, Gaming vs Work, Body Doubling, Self-Talk & Finding Real Friends

    Nik Bakhshalian is back, and he opens with a question every ADHD brain has asked. He can spend eight hours straight building a castle in Valheim, brick by brick. He can't work for eight hours straight. His words: "And what is the difference?" I spent a couple of months chasing that exact question when I built LifeQuest, my habit app modeled on video games: points, levels, a leaderboard, even staking your own money on yourself. I thought the missing piece was accountability. Nik's take: for ADHD it's not accountability, it's urgency. Someone waiting for you, right now. "He's here. He's at my door. He's waiting. I just gotta open the door." We get into remote body doubling (and why it might be the unlock I was looking for), why beating yourself up makes it worse, treating yourself like you'd treat a friend, can't vs won't, when to accept a limitation, recovering people pleasing, why being yourself is the only way to find real friends, and the catch of feeling too spent to do the thing that gives you energy. Also: why I never got a magnet from Italy. CHAPTERS00:00 "What is the difference?"00:15 Being you vs performing02:30 Why can I game 8 hours but not work 8?05:01 LifeQuest: gamifying your habits07:10 Discipline has a shelf life09:03 Was accountability the missing piece?10:31 ADHD: urgency, not accountability13:02 Only going to the gym with a buddy17:18 The planner vs the doer18:46 Why beating yourself up backfires19:30 Treat yourself like a friend20:29 Can't or won't?21:48 The piano genius who won't hit record24:10 Remote body doubling: "It's our hour"25:56 An hour with someone (The Alignment Project idea)30:00 Limitation, or just how you work?31:36 One person is enough33:31 Years of overriding what works for me34:33 Being yourself attracts the right people36:31 Run the experiment, accept the result39:36 "We can't" vs "we can't right now"42:02 Recovering people pleaser45:16 Real friends need the real you50:28 Three kinds of people at work52:35 The Italy magnet (and the best gift)58:20 Too spent to do the thing that gives you energy59:36 Our best episode?1:00:58 Outro Guest: Nik Bakhshalian Host: Brian ComstockTransformation Artist | CoachInstagram: @brian.comstock Watch the full episode on YouTube The Brian Comstock Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

  5. Oct 1

    Nik Bakhshalian: Smart and ADHD, Mensa, Masking, Hyperfocus, Doom Scrolling & Finding Your Drive

    Smart enough to know exactly what to do, and still can't make it stick? That's what my 1:1 sessions are for. Actually follow through: we work on what's really in the way, you leave with one small next step, and at the next session I ask how it went (just you and me, not a room of 500). One private session is $400, or four for $1,500. Here's how it works. Nik Bakhshalian is back for round three. He just got home from Mensa's annual gathering, and he says a lot of the people he met there are neurodivergent in some way. Nik was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago, then took two more years to mail his Mensa letter. His words: "it's such an ADHD thing." And the reason nobody caught it sooner: "my intelligence made it so that I didn't have to pay attention in class. I just did well." We get into being smart and ADHD at the same time (Nik explains the "twice exceptional" thing), how a high IQ can mask ADHD for years, the hyperfocus then zero interest cycle, how hard you should push yourself, obsession vs white-knuckling, the halo effect, and why we doom scroll instead of sleeping. CHAPTERS 00:00 Smart enough to hide it 00:11 Nik's back for round three 00:45 Inside Mensa's annual gathering 02:19 Why so many members are neurodivergent 04:35 Diagnosed 2 years ago (and the 2-year letter) 05:19 How a high IQ masks ADHD 08:53 Smart isn't the same as growth-minded 13:14 Mensa's untapped potential 18:00 "Because I can" 22:43 ADHD hyperfocus and the don't over-invest rule 26:49 Social clubs, drive and the old guard 30:59 "We can't" vs the laws of physics 34:54 Starry-eyed reformers vs inertia 37:06 Leading change at work 38:55 Books, looks and the sweatpants years 46:15 The halo effect 49:20 Drive vs contentment (and jet lag) 52:17 How hard should you push yourself? 54:16 Obsession vs white-knuckling 56:59 Certainty, confidence and ADHD 1:02:33 What success means (and why we doom scroll) 1:06:02 Outro Guest: Nik Bakhshalian Host: Brian Comstock Transformation Artist | Coach Instagram: @brian.comstock

  6. Sep 5

    Nico Seedsman — Navy at 17, SAS at 21, Out at 29: Combat PTSD, Ayahuasca, Stem Cells, Finding God, and Building The Order

    Nico Seedsman joined the Australian Navy at seventeen as an electrical engineer. At twenty he switched to the Army for special operations, spent a year and a half in reconnaissance infantry as a team commander, and went into the SAS at twenty-one. He served there until twenty-nine, through multiple combat deployments, and left with full-blown PTSD, autoimmunity and catastrophic injuries, after a period where his own subconscious was steering the car toward a tree on the drive to work. This is the story of how he put his hand up, lost his identity, his tribe and his mission in one moment, and rebuilt from nothing into what the psychologists call post-traumatic growth. Ayahuasca. Stem cells. Meditation. Finding God. And the difference between bravery and courage. Nico now runs The Order, a brotherhood for men who want to become the true gentleman. Watch the full episode on YouTube Find Nico and The Order: The Order · The Order on Instagram Disclosure: I work with Nico on The Order. This episode discusses suicidal ideation, PTSD and combat trauma. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Outside the US, find a helpline near you. CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold open 00:16 Who is Nico Seedsman 03:23 My subconscious wanted me dead 12:04 How do you not give up when you want to? 15:58 Quitting vs. changing direction 21:34 The relationship that turned him upside down 27:48 Why the military doesn't let you recover 36:57 Grief on both sides 40:25 Ayahuasca and plant medicine 45:59 Stem cells vs. allopathic medicine 48:37 Finding God 56:47 Door one, or game over 1:03:18 Life before and after 1:13:37 Where to start 1:16:37 Why fear feels like death 1:24:03 Five positives for every negative 1:33:18 The Order 1:42:34 Closing thoughts 1:43:25 Outro Host: The Brian Comstock Podcast Transformation Artist | Coach Instagram: @brian.comstock The Brian Comstock Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

  7. Aug 21

    Britnie Turner — Living in Her Car, Buying a Private Island, Escaping a Brilliant Liar, Hearing God's Voice, and Becoming a Force for Good

    Britnie Turner went from living in her car to building one of the fastest-growing women-owned companies in the world, owning a private island wellness resort, and founding a humanitarian organization that has rescued thousands of people. This conversation isn't about how she built it. It's about what it cost her - and how she healed. We get into the movie that changed her life at twelve, the little girl who couldn't speak, learning to hear the voice of love, the relationship that nearly ended everything and the phone call that saved her life, the rebound date who became her husband - a 20-year Green Beret - and Healed Heroes, the program born from his recovery that has walked 232 suicidal veterans back without losing one. This episode discusses abuse and suicide. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services. In the US, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Outside the US, find a helpline near you. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction 01:24 The movie that changed her life at 12 04:20 The little girl who couldn't speak 05:45 Living in her car, building anyway 09:50 Richard Branson's brand advice 11:16 An island built for healing, not escape 18:58 Learning to hear God's voice 20:30 Wrestling with whether God is good 24:45 Hurt people hurt people, healed people heal people 32:06 The relationship that almost destroyed her 39:20 The phone call that saved her life 40:41 What love actually says 48:00 The rebound date who became her husband 51:58 Healed Heroes: 232 veterans, zero lost 55:33 Write your eulogy 1:01:22 Outro GUEST: BRITNIE TURNER Instagram: @britnieturner Force for Good Collective The Aerial BVI · Instagram: @theaerialbvi Aerial Recovery BRIAN COMSTOCK Host: The Brian Comstock Podcast Transformation Artist | Coach Instagram: @brian.comstock Watch the full episode on YouTube The Brian Comstock Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

  8. Aug 14

    The Brutal Truth About Coaches Who've Never Done It

    Nik Bakhshalian is back for round two. We get into why most coaching advice fails - not because the advice is bad, but because whoever's giving it never actually did the thing. The line that stuck with me: as soon as you miss step one, it renders two through ten completely irrelevant. Most coaches have a brilliant answer for steps two through ten. Nobody checks whether they ever did step one. We also get into why incentives quietly run everything, including the time a bounty on cobras created more cobras, why the best networking isn't networking, and gratitude as a genuine unfair advantage. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction and guest overview 12:07 The pitfalls of overengineering solutions 39:52 Stories of fairness and understanding in practice 52:07 Final thoughts and closing remarks Guest: Nik Bakhshalian Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=KklzUe6o2fg

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About

The Brian Comstock Podcast. Insight delivered on some basis. Getting yourself back: boundaries, people-pleasing, nervous system recovery, sleep, training, getting over an ex, and the mindset shifts that actually move you. Hosted by Brian Comstock, coach and Certified Integrative Psychology Practitioner. Some weeks it's a guest. Some weeks it's just me working through what I've figured out, and what I'm still figuring out. No guru voice. Just the stuff I'd tell a friend. YouTube: youtube.com/@Brian.Comstock IG: @brian.comstock Work with me: briancomstock.co

Information

  • Creator
    Brian Comstock
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Brian Comstock
  • Show Website
    The Brian Comstock Podcast