Halva for the Heart: Dying and Grieving in Diaspora

Misha | Hafez Death Care

Halva for the Heart is for both the collective in general, and for those of us living in diaspora specifically. Here we will explore topics of grief tending and death care as a way to build the liberated future we envision for our world, as well as what is means to be dying and grieving while living in diaspora, especially for those of us who have roots in the SWANA region. All are welcome here - befarmāid.

  1. The Grief of Displacement with Uma Girish: Mourning Home, Family, and Belonging

    1d ago

    The Grief of Displacement with Uma Girish: Mourning Home, Family, and Belonging

    In this episode of Halva for the Heart: Dying and Grieving in Diaspora, I sit down with grief companion, author, and Human Design guide Uma Girish to explore the intertwined losses of death, migration, home, and belonging. Born and raised in India and now living in the United States, Uma shares the story of her mother's death shortly after her immigration to the U.S., and the profound loneliness of grieving far from home, family, and the cultural rituals that once held her. Together, we explore how South Asian traditions make space for grief through community and ritual, what those in diaspora lose when they are unable to return home for a loved one's death, and how maintaining relationships with the dead can help us navigate loss. Uma reflects on the unexpected lessons she learned while working in a retirement community, where she discovered that grief is not limited to death. Through stories of displacement, aging, and leaving behind beloved homes, she came to understand grief as a universal human experience. In this episode, we also discuss:South Asian grief rituals and the first year after a deathThe grief of immigration and losing connection to homeBuilding altars for loved ones and ancestorsHow grief can become a path toward purpose and serviceThe importance of skilled facilitation in grief circles and community spacesThroughout the conversation, Uma offers gentle wisdom for anyone navigating loss, reminding us that we do not need to grieve perfectly—we only need to give ourselves what we need most. Connect with Uma GirishWebsite: www.umagirish.comPodcast: Being Fully MeSubstack: Light After LossBook: Losing Amma, Finding HomeAlso mentioned in this episode:Holly TruhlarA Gift for Listeners The first two listeners to email Uma after listening to this episode will receive a free gift. Listen to the end of the episode to learn what what she's generously offering, then contact Uma through email If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    1h 3m
  2. Returning to Iran: Mixed Identity, Belonging, and Diaspora Experience with artist Roxanne Cassehgari

    Apr 27

    Returning to Iran: Mixed Identity, Belonging, and Diaspora Experience with artist Roxanne Cassehgari

    In this episode, I sit down with Roxanne Cassehgari, a writer, photographer, and artist documenting the Iranian diaspora. We talk about growing up Iranian outside of Iran, navigating mixed identity, and the complicated relationship to a homeland you may not fully know but deeply long for. Roxanne shares about returning to Iran and how it reshaped her understanding of belonging, language, and self. We explore language loss, cultural disconnection, and the feeling of not being “enough,” alongside her work documenting diaspora stories through interviews and photography. From everyday objects to food and ritual, we reflect on how Iran continues to live within people across distance and generations. We also touch on the tensions between diaspora and homeland perspectives, and how migration, assimilation, and politics shape these experiences. This is a conversation about exile, memory, and the many ways people try to return. About Roxanne Roxane Cassehgari is an artist and photographer born in France to an Iranian father and Colombian mother. Alongside her artistic practice, she is a human rights lawyer and researcher. While law and research allow her to articulate questions about our world, photography is a space of freedom, a more intuitive terrain where she can explore what words cannot capture.   Her work explores diasporic memory, emotions linked to exile, and the transmission—or loss—of culture. Through a sensitive and personal approach, she also seeks to reflect on our relationship with the land: as our origin, our heritage, but also as a place where we root ourselves within the living world. In this episode, we explore...Growing up Iranian in the diasporaReturning to Iran after living abroadMixed identity and cultural belongingLanguage loss and reclaiming FarsiThe emotional impact of exile and disconnectionIranian diaspora identity across different countriesThe tension between diaspora and homeland perspectivesHow art and storytelling preserve cultural memoryEveryday ways people stay connected to Iran (food, objects, ritual) Mentioned in this episode: 📕 Roxanne's project Le Retour (The Return) 🏝️ Roxanne's project Exile is an Island 🎧 Halva for the Heart episode with Afghan author and activist Mina Sharif 📚 Your War Our Lives by Mina Sharif 📚 The Lion Women of Tehran by Marjan Kamali Connect with Roxanne 📸 Follow Roxanne on Instagram 📥 Submit your story to Roxanne’s project Exile is an Island If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    1h 20m
  3. Farvardingan: The Iranian Holiday of Honoring the Dead and Connecting with Ancestors

    Apr 7

    Farvardingan: The Iranian Holiday of Honoring the Dead and Connecting with Ancestors

    In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I explore Farvardingan, the ancient Iranian holiday when the fravashis (spirits of the departed) return to visit the living. This year, Farvardingan takes on profound significance as we grapple with unprecedented levels of loss: from war on Iran and regime violence to the ongoing genocide in Palestine and personal grief. I discuss how Farvardingan becomes an act of resistance in a world that gives us almost no space to grieve, and expand our understanding of ancestry beyond blood to include the many lineages that shape and sustain us. In this episode, I reflect on: - Memory as active care, not something to "move on" from - Continuity between the living and the dead - Farvardingan as a support for us during this time of war - Ways to stay connected ancestors - Different types of ancestry beyond blood lineage (as taught to me by my teacher Holly Truhlar) Resources Mentioned 🔗 Holly Truhlar's Idea of Soul Lineage - Explore ancestral connections and soul lineage work 🎵 Dard-e Del Playlist - Curated music for grief and ancestral connection 📖 Farvardingan Guidebook - Deep dive into practices, rituals, and reflections for honoring the dead If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    33 min
  4. A Meditation for Nowruz in Times of War: For Iranians in Diaspora Whose Hearts Ache for Iran

    Mar 16

    A Meditation for Nowruz in Times of War: For Iranians in Diaspora Whose Hearts Ache for Iran

    In this special episode of Halva for the Heart, I share a recorded Nowruz meditation for those of us in the Iranian diaspora who are holding the question so many of us are sitting with this year as we watch our homeland be harmed by bombs: Do we celebrate Nowruz? This meditation doesn't offer an easy answer. Instead, it invites us into the deeper purpose of our ancestral rituals, not as performances of joy, but as living technologies of transformation, continuity, and survival. This meditation moves through two ancient practices: Chaharshanbe Soori, the pre-New Year fire ritual, where we offer our exhaustion (zardi) to the flame and receive its red aliveness (sorkhi) in return, not just for ourselves, but on behalf of all those inside Iran carrying fear and uncertainty. And the haftseen sofreh, reimagined as a place to both ask for what we need, and a place to send love, strength, protection, and hope toward Iran. This meditation was created for Iranians in diaspora who are grieving, exhausted, and unsure how to mark a new year that arrives whether we are ready or not. If you are not Iranian, you are welcome to sit with us in solidarity. There is no single right way to do Nowruz this year. Maybe this meditation is all that you do to honor the holiday. And that's okay. That is enough. *This meditation was first offered during a live Dard-e Del session. If you're a fellow Iranian in diaspora and are looking for community spaces to hold your grief with others like you, please join us in Dard-e Del. We meet on zoom 3 times a month to support one another. If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    34 min
  5. Traditional Persian Medicine as Grief Care with Sahar Kaur

    Feb 17

    Traditional Persian Medicine as Grief Care with Sahar Kaur

    In this episode, I sit down with Sahar Kaur, a decolonial womb educator whose work lives at the intersection of menstrual health, ancestral memory, and identity. We talk about how her path into womb education grew from a desire to return to grounded, lived wisdom, not spiritual trends or aesthetics, but knowledge rooted in lineage, culture, and survival. Sahar shares how Traditional Persian Medicine informs her work, and what it actually means to decolonize menstrual care: making it accessible, culturally relevant, and responsive to real lived conditions. We explore herbal support for menstrual cycles and grief, including gol-e gāv-zabān (borage), traditionally used to calm the nervous system and tend heartbreak. Sahar reflects on her work with displaced and refugee women, and how womb education shifts when survival, migration, and instability are part of someone’s reality. We close with a powerful conversation about the Kurdish serpent goddess Shahmaran (the protector, healer, and symbol of feminine wisdom) and how her mythology connects to womb space, surrender, and ancestral remembering. About Sahar Sahar is a decolonized womb health educator working at the intersection of cyclicity, identity, and ancestral memory. A daughter of ancient Elam and Bactria (early cradle civilizations of what is now Iran and Afghanistan) her work honors the womb as a site where memory, lineage, and truth are held.Through independent research in traditional Persian medicine, she is reviving ancestral menstrual wisdom and womb rituals erased by colonial history. Her work invites women — especially those from the SWANA region — to reconnect with womb health as cultural inheritance rather than aesthetic spirituality. In this episode, we explore...Decolonizing menstrual educationWomb memory and ancestral identityHerbal support for grief and menstrual cyclesCultural reclamation in healing spacesWorking with displaced and refugee womenKurdish Shahmaran mythology and serpent wisdomFeminine surrender and embodied knowledgeMentioned in this episode:🎧 Episode: Celebrating Yalda with Shahmaran🎧 Episode: Knitting as Ancestral Memory📖 Shahmaran: A Wintering Spent with the Queen of Serpents (zine)📺 Shahmaran teleision series🤝 Nisaba: the refugee women’s organization Sahar mentions📚 There Are Rivers in the Sky by Elif ShafakA note on language & inclusivity In this episode, we sometimes use the word “women” when talking about womb health and menstrual cycles. However, the wisdom we discuss is expansive: it applies to anyone who identifies as a womxn or femme, as well as anyone who has or has had a menstrual cycle. Even if that’s not your experience, traditional Persian teachings about cycles, rest, and grief offer healing insights that can support anyone. This conversation is meant to be inclusive, honoring the many ways people relate to their bodies and to this knowledge. Connect with Sahar You can find Sahar on Instagram and join her Diasp'AURA Telegram community Holiday Guidebooks & Community Access I create seasonal Iranian holiday guidebooks that explore ritual, remembrance, and ancestral practice. The Esfandegan guidebook focuses on devotion to the earth and to womxn & femmes, and honoring the Mother Earth goddess Spenta Armaiti through Iranian tradition. If you are a member of Dard-e Del, an online Iranian grief circle and community space I facilitate 3x a month, you receive access to all of these guidebooks free as part of your membership. The intention is to make cultural and ritual knowledge communal, as something we return to together, not practice alone. If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    1h 14m
  6. Sadeh Meditation for the Martyrs: Holding Grief for Iran in the Darkest Days of Winter

    Jan 28

    Sadeh Meditation for the Martyrs: Holding Grief for Iran in the Darkest Days of Winter

    In this special episode of Halva for the Heart, I share a recorded grief ritual meditation offered during our recent Dard-e Del gathering for the Iranian diaspora. This meditation is rooted in Sadeh, the ancient midwinter fire festival that takes place on January 30, at the end of the darkest stretch of winter known as Chelleh-ye Bozorg. Traditionally, Sadeh is a night when our ancestors gathered around a great bonfire for warmth, protection, and hope during the coldest, hardest days of the year. This year, that darkness has felt especially heavy. During this meditation, we will gently and somatically honor the thousands of martyrs recently killed in Iran. We will work with flame as ancestor, witness, and companion, offering our grief to the fire and receiving strength, resilience, and warmth in return. This practice is created specifically for Iranians living in diaspora, who are carrying not only grief for lives lost, but also the pain of distance, disconnection, and witnessing from afar. If you are not Iranian, you are still welcome to sit with us in solidarity and remembrance. Please find a quiet place to rest. If you can, bring a candle. This meditation is meant to be experienced with flame 🔥 Links: 📘 Download the Sadeh Guidebook (sliding scale $3-33) ❤️‍🩹 Join us in Dard-e Del, our Iranian diaspora grief space If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    26 min
  7. Carrying Iranian Grief with Pauline Yeghnazar: Ancestral Sorrow, Diaspora Grief, and Intergenerational Healing

    Jan 17

    Carrying Iranian Grief with Pauline Yeghnazar: Ancestral Sorrow, Diaspora Grief, and Intergenerational Healing

    In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Iranian-Armenian psychologist and therapist Pauline Yeghnazar, whose work centers the emotional lives of daughters and children of immigrants. Together, we explore what happens when grief has no homeland to land in. When sorrow is inherited, rituals feel fractured, and loss lives in the body across generations. Pauline brings both clinical depth and lived experience to a dialogue about diaspora grief that stretches beyond individual death into land, exile, identity, culture, and the losses our parents never had the privilege to mourn. In this episode, we explore: Watching Iran from afar and how grief lives somatically in the bodyThe terror of disconnection during the current internet shutdown in IranAncestral longing for a homeland never fully knownHow immigrant elders often didn’t have space or permission to grieveWestern grief timelines and the pathologizing of sorrowHow cooking and cultural practices metabolize grief through the bodyInviting ancestors into everyday acts of remembranceGrief as something that includes laughter, presence, and connection Previous Halva for the Heart episodes mentioned: Episode 19: Knitting as Ancestral Memory Episode 3: Healing with My Sister Pauline shares powerful frameworks for daughters of immigrants navigating identity, guilt, family obligation, and inherited emotional survival patterns. Pauline’s offerings and resources: Free Translation Guide for Communicating with Your Immigrant ParentsFree Book Club for the Children of ImmigrantsRoots & Fruits: A Group Program for Daughters of ImmigrantsNoor Therapy & Wellness (for folks in California and New York)Email Pauline for 1-hour long $99 coaching calls if you're outside of CA or NY All these offerings and more can be found on Pauline's website And follow Pauline on Instagram If you're Iranian and looking for a culturally specific community space (since Pauline’s offerings serve all diasporas), you’re warmly invited to join us in Dard-e Del, our Iranian grief gathering that meets three times a month on Zoom, to be in community, witness each other, and hold what can’t be held alone. If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    1h 10m
  8. Knitting as Ancestral Memory: Grief, Yarn, and Hands That Remember

    Jan 2

    Knitting as Ancestral Memory: Grief, Yarn, and Hands That Remember

    In this intimate episode of Halva for the Heart, I share a raw voice memo I recorded two years ago, just moments after I had the experience of my hands had been taken over by my ancestors ✨ It happened when I had sat down to start a knitting project, but I couldn't remember how to cast on. After struggling for awhile and almost getting frustrated, something unexpected happened: my hands just knew what to do. It felt like my grandmother was moving through me, guiding me through a cast-on method I didn't remember learning. It got me thinking about yarn as memory, knitting as something our ancestors pass down, and how grief can actually live in your hands. This episode is about communing with your ancestors through fiber work, how your body remembers things your mind doesn't, and why knitting and stitching got written off as "just hobbies" when they're actually powerful spiritual practices. This episode is an invitation tp grieve through fiber, to let your ancestors teach you through your hands, and to trust that the wisdom is already there. In this episode, I explore: Knitting as ancestral memory and embodied wisdomFiber, yarn, and cloth as grief companionsWhy slow crafts are sites of resistance and careHandwork as a way to grieve what was never taughtPassing down love through making, not perfectionInvitation If this episode speaks to you, you’re invited to join our Fibers of Grief circle, a monthly online gathering exploring grief through slow stitching, yarn work, and visible mending as care practices. 🧶 January’s circle focuses on working with yarn 🪡 February’s circle will explore visible mending Sign up ➡️ here If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you... Leave me a 90 second voice noteMessage me on InstagramSend me an emailLearn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com Subscribe to my weekly newsletter 🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân

    32 min
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About

Halva for the Heart is for both the collective in general, and for those of us living in diaspora specifically. Here we will explore topics of grief tending and death care as a way to build the liberated future we envision for our world, as well as what is means to be dying and grieving while living in diaspora, especially for those of us who have roots in the SWANA region. All are welcome here - befarmāid.

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