I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!

AJ and Ally
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Society & Culture

Join us as we explore the intersection of religion, culture, and community in the rural South. From the impact of church on societal expectations to the difference between southern and radical hospitality, we dig into tough topics like shame and belief systems. Through honest conversations, we aim to inspire listeners to question what they believe, seek out community in unexpected places, and find hope for a better, more inclusive world.

Episodes

  1. 09/29/2025

    Just Because Mama Believed It Doesn't Mean I Do Too!

    We’re kicking off Series Two of our podcast by digging intothe beliefs we inherited from our families, churches, and Southern rural communities, and how those early lessons shaped us. In this episode, we reflect on the sayings, traditions, and expectations we grew up with, and the ways they became tangled with our understanding of faith and identity. From family dynamics to church culture to the “unspoken rules” of small-town life, we share the struggles of wrestling with dissonance between what we were taught and what we’ve come to believe for ourselves.  It’s honest, challenging, and of course we add our own flareof humor! Listen as we explore what it means to honor where we come from while also carving out space for growth, questioning, and new understanding.

    1h 2m

  2. 07/27/2025

    What a Journey It Has Been!

    This is the final episode of Series One and it has been an incredible journey! AJ and Ally share their praises (and some technical challenges!) while navigating this new world of podcasting. Listen as they share their favorite stories from each of the earlier episodes as well as answer some questions that were posted on social media! Towards the end, there is an unexpected but always welcomed and loved special guest that pops in to say a few words! This may be the end of Series Once but don't worry! Series Two is in production and will be uploaded soon! Please stay tuned!

    1h 16m
  3. Judgment: Appearance, Hypocrisy, and Inferiority

    06/24/2025

    Judgment: Appearance, Hypocrisy, and Inferiority

    In this episode of I Just Don’t Understand with AJ and Ally, Ally unpacks a topic we’ve all encountered but don’t always talk about out loud: judgment. From the obvious moments—like walking into a room and knowing you’re being sized up—to the more subtle, internal battles we face when we compare ourselves to others in faith or family spaces, this episode explores how judgment shapes us. We’ll talk about the pain of being judged based on appearance, the complicated feelings that come from witnessing (and sometimes participating in) hypocrisy, and the quiet shame that comes with feeling spiritually “less than.” If you’ve ever questioned whether you’re good enough, or caught yourself slipping into self-righteousness just to feel worthy—this one’s for you. Grab your coffee, your tea, or whatever helps you stay grounded. Let’s talk about it.

    53 min

  4. 06/10/2025

    Judgement--A Prickly Thicket

    In this episode, AJ and Ally wade into the prickly thicket of judgment—where it comes from, why it sticks, and how it morphs into the heavy cloak of shame. From questioning long-standing religious doctrines to re-examining biblical scriptures that many take at face value, the duo pull back the curtain on conversations often left unspoken. They dive into what it means to challenge rigid traditions and the resistance that can come with pushing back. They explore how a fresh look at familiar scriptures can upend deeply rooted beliefs, sparking both clarity and inner conflict. Living in small rural communities adds another layer, where social expectations and the constant watchful eye of “everyone knowing your business” can fuel cycles of shame and unworthiness. Through it all, AJ and Ally reflect honestly on what it takes to separate external judgment from personal worth—and what freedom might look like on the other side. Whether you're wrestling with doubts of your own or simply curious how two friends stay grounded (and real) while exploring sacred tension points, press play and join the conversation. Let’s unravel judgment together—and leave shame at the door.

    59 min
  5. Ain't That a Shame: Not Enough-Expectations & Spiritual Pressure

    05/26/2025

    Ain't That a Shame: Not Enough-Expectations & Spiritual Pressure

    Ever felt like you’re not measuring up, spiritually, culturally, or in your own community? In this episode, we talk about the ways shame creeps in when we don’t live up to the expectations around us. Whether it’s struggling with addiction, mental health, or sexuality, too many of us have been told to just "pray about it" as if that alone will fix everything. We unpack how religious traditions can sometimes compound these struggles, and why real support often looks different than the advice we were raised with. This one’s tender, honest, and a little bit fiery—in true AJ and Ally fashion.

    56 min

  6. 05/11/2025

    Ain't That a Shame?--Falling Short of Expectations

    In this episode, we are continuing our last conversation on shame, perfectionism, and mental health, and we’re taking it a step further—into the layered expectations of faith, church, and rural community life. This episode explores what happens when you break the “rules”—both written and unspoken—and fall short of religious and cultural ideals that often feel impossible to uphold. From personal stories of spiritual struggle to moments of quiet rebellion, we unpack how shame shows up in faith communities and how hard it can be to feel worthy when you’re no longer coloring inside the lines. It’s deep, it’s raw—and still, somehow, full of grace and laughter.

    1h 4m
  7. Ain’t That a Shame? – Perfectionism, Judgment, and Mental Health

    05/02/2025

    Ain’t That a Shame? – Perfectionism, Judgment, and Mental Health

    This week, we’re stepping into the heavy stuff—shame. We open up about the ways shame has shaped our lives, especially in the workplace and in the expectations we place on ourselves (hello, perfectionism). Then, we dig deeper into how shame shows up in church spaces—through the fear of judgment, the weight of perceived moral failure, and the quiet belief that we’re somehow unworthy of grace. This episode includes one of our most vulnerable conversations yet, as AJ and Ally share how shame crept its way into their careers. And Ally shares her personal journey with mental health and how shame has tangled itself in that story. If you’ve ever wrestled with feeling like you’re not enough—you’re not alone.

    40 min
  8. More Than Sweet Tea--Radical Hospitality in Real Life!

    04/24/2025

    More Than Sweet Tea--Radical Hospitality in Real Life!

    In this episode, AJ and Ally continue the conversation on hospitality—but this ain’t your typical “bless your heart” kind of chat. We’re talking radical hospitality: the kind that goes beyond potlucks and porch visits, and asks us to make space for people in real, uncomfortable, grace-filled ways. We share some wins (yes, we’ve had our moments), but also keep it honest about how hard it can be—especially as two introverts trying to live out big-hearted ideals. Because when we don’t offer that kind of presence and belonging, something else always moves in: exclusion, shame, and silence.So grab a biscuit, settle in, and let’s talk about what it really means to practice community from the inside out.

    36 min
  9. The Sweet Tea Myth: Unpacking Southern Hospitality

    04/17/2025

    The Sweet Tea Myth: Unpacking Southern Hospitality

    What is hospitality—and what makes it uniquely Southern? In this episode, we pour a tall glass of sweet tea and dive deep into the heart of Southern hospitality. Together, we explore the charm, warmth, and rituals that define it—from warm welcomes on front porches to casseroles in times of crisis. But behind the smiles and sweetness lies a more complex truth. With stories from our own experiences—and special insight from our friend Penelope—we reflect on how Southern hospitality can be both a gift and a gatekeeper. While it's rooted in care and community, it’s also shaped by tradition, gender roles, and social expectations that sometimes leave marginalized people, especially those experiencing poverty, overlooked or left out entirely. In this episode, we unpack the layers: the comforting and the complicated, the inclusive and the exclusive. What does it mean to truly welcome someone? And who gets to decide what hospitality looks like? Join us as we explore the real soul of Southern hospitality—warts, wonder, and all.

    38 min

  10. 03/31/2025

    Finding Authentic Communities

    AJ & Ally explore the levels and different types of communities within rural, southern America.

    38 min

  11. 03/31/2025

    AJ & Ally Introduction

    AJ & Ally introduce themselves and discuss the origins of the podcast concept! Please extend graciousness as this is our very first podcast and we are learning the ropes. The sound quality in this first episode is not the best. We have learned from our mistakes and have greatly improved the quality in the upcoming episodes.

    23 min
  • 11 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Join us as we explore the intersection of religion, culture, and community in the rural South. From the impact of church on societal expectations to the difference between southern and radical hospitality, we dig into tough topics like shame and belief systems. Through honest conversations, we aim to inspire listeners to question what they believe, seek out community in unexpected places, and find hope for a better, more inclusive world.

Information